Originally Posted by RisingLight
Assalamu alaikum brother, Allah ta'ala loves you and cares for you that is why He granted you hidayah. It's a great bounty that Allah ta'ala has protected you from the hell fire. You are well aware that people around you have not been given hidayah including your parents so that already proves that Allah ta'ala loves you specifically.
Secondly, it comes in a Hadith that "If Allah intends good for someone, then he afflicts him with trials."
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5321
Do you believe what Nabi صلى الله عليه وسلم said in this hadith is true? So that is the second proof that Allah ta'ala loves you. He tests different people in different ways to see how much Sabr they have. If we take our life it becomes clear that we do not have patience. We have to remain happy in whatever condition Allah ta'ala puts us in. If you read about the lives of Sahabah, you will realise how much difficulties and pain they had to suffer just for accepting Islam. Read about the lives of Bilal bin Rabah, Khabab ibn al-Aratt رضي الله عنهم. Even Prophets علیهم السلام were tested and they all remained steadfast. They did not despair instead it increased them in faith.
Allah ta'ala has not prevented you from the fasts of Ramadhan, you will have to see if you can fast without revealing to your relatives/parents, you can refuse to eat saying you have already eaten. Best is to contact a Mufti and explain to him about your circumstances and get a specific answer. Try to fast and pray as best as you can and leave the rest to Allah. “Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…” (Qur'an, 2:286)
Regarding your original question whether Allah ta'ala loves me or not I can totally relate to these feelings as I often get these whispers that Allah ta'ala hates me. But this is only Shaitan that wants us to lose hope in the mercy of Allah. It comes in a hadith that Allah ta'ala loves a person 70 times more than his mother. In the Qur'an it is said that Allah is Wadood. Allah ta'ala loves every creation.
Also please take a look at this muraqabah, it might help you: https://www.muftisays.com/forums/55-...=102816#102816