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peacefulone
05-04-2019, 12:54 AM
Assalamu alaykum
I am wondering if a husband emotionally abused his wife and damages her things without remorse and he never changes. is it okay for her to pray for jannah as a reward for her suffering? And can she ask Allah for a different husband in Jannah? It doesn't mean she is asking for her husband in dunya to be in hell...but she doesn't want to suffer from is oppression any longer or even see his face...she suffers this life as a punishment from Allah to earn her freedom in Jannah and since there is no injustice in Jannah why should she be with the same man who ruined her dunya....
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Physicist
05-04-2019, 05:22 AM
I think it's her personal jihad to solve this situation while in dunya.
To change him or to change herself to accept him as he is or to find a way out of this marriage.

Because I don't think that such a life of hypocrisy will be rewarded with Janna. Basically she dreams about other man, but shares her bed with a man whom she doesn't love.
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Ahmed.
05-04-2019, 03:01 PM
Walaikum assalam rahmatullahi barakatuh

Yes sister on day of judgement if you don't want him to be your husband then you can choose another husband

Don't worry you won't be a hypocryt and 'desiring another man' in the sexual sense, @Physicist is a new convert and he doesn't yet understand that in Muslim culture, divorce isn't such an easy matter for women and he is judging with the non-Muslim culture ...

@Physicist ... you've got a lot to learn bruv :Emoji48:
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peacefulone
05-04-2019, 04:01 PM
Salam alaykum.
Thanks brother ahmed.
Phyicist. Its not about desiring another man in this life. Its about being stuck with an abusive man after marriage and not wanting the sin of asking for divorce which is worse for women.
A woman is not like a man. A woman can stay in a bad marriage being faithful if she will earn love of Allah. ...
Jannah is where there is no injustice. So its not fair to see a woman suffer abuse throughout all of dunya then get stuck with the abuser fir eternity.
An abuser never changes until he or she wants.
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Physicist
05-04-2019, 04:31 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ahmed.
... in Muslim culture, divorce isn't such an easy matter for women and he is judging with the non-Muslim culture ...
But it is still possible, right? In Al-Baqara there are ayats regarding divorce.

I can understand, when spouses already have children and bear responsibility for them.
But if they didn't yet and she don't want to bear children from this man, why she has to?
It is required to have consent of the woman to marry her. But it may happen, that before marriage he was playing nice but afterwards revealed his bad character.
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CuriousonTruth
05-04-2019, 04:57 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ahmed.
Walaikum assalam rahmatullahi barakatuh

Yes sister on day of judgement if you don't want him to be your husband then you can choose another husband

Don't worry you won't be a hypocryt and 'desiring another man' in the sexual sense, @Physicist is a new convert and he doesn't yet understand that in Muslim culture, divorce isn't such an easy matter for women and he is judging with the non-Muslim culture ...
Conservative muslim culture.

Keyword: Conservative

It's not a problem in liberal, secular and western muslim societies.
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Ahmed.
05-05-2019, 05:07 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Physicist
But it is still possible, right? In Al-Baqara there are ayats regarding divorce.

I can understand, when spouses already have children and bear responsibility for them.
But if they didn't yet and she don't want to bear children from this man, why she has to?
It is required to have consent of the woman to marry her. But it may happen, that before marriage he was playing nice but afterwards revealed his bad character.
The sister never said anything about not having children. I agree if she doesn't have any children then divorce May be the best solution for her if she has no hope of him changing his oppressive character,

- - - Updated - - -

format_quote Originally Posted by CuriousonTruth
Conservative muslim culture.

Keyword: Conservative

It's not a problem in liberal, secular and western muslim societies.
There is a problem with your last sentence

95% of Muslims in the West are born Muslims living the conservative Muslim culture with slight adaptive westernisation. You make it sound as though the ratio is much more equal :Emoji47:
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CuriousonTruth
05-05-2019, 05:28 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ahmed.
95% of Muslims in the West are born Muslims living the conservative Muslim culture with slight adaptive westernisation. You make it sound as though the ratio is much more equal :Emoji47:
I think your numbers are way off, even in Muslim countries 30-50% are conservative. And it's not slight, it's in the entirety. I doubt you will find clerics like Mufti Menk, Abu Layth, etc from classical Islamic period.

But anyway I don't want to argue.
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