format_quote Originally Posted by
Studentofdeed
It hasnt been easy but too be honest...I cant. They religiously and emotionally blackmail me. I love them and obviously will always forgive them but my father is part responsible for majority of the mess in my life. He was never present in my life. Always working abroad not because he had to but because he chose to. He enjoyed exploring and traveling the world and often rarely takes us with him. He is very cold and selfish. He does have empathy but primarily only for his mother, siblings, and nephews and nieces. Its heartbreaking but he has always neglected me and often makes fun of me for being emotional or telling me to be a man when I complain he was never loving towards me. I still have vivid memories of him beating me when I was young. He never hit me severely or alot but at times he still hit me. Now he doesnt because I'm bigger and older but I still have strong resentment for him. I'm always a disappointment to him. He compares me to other kids and scolds and says I'm useless. He isnt proud that I have good manners, honest, good at school, or even religous. It's never enough for him. Yet in front of others he pretends to have such care for me using me as an emotional prop yet during my tough times he wouldn't even show any sign of remorse towards me. He is part of the reason why I wasnt religious when I was young because his actions disgusted and pushed me away
You must understand that all humans have been conditioned by their environments to think and react to life in particular ways. For example, boys born without fathers tend to grow up angry and react violently to the world. Girls who grow up with lack of a father figure tend to be more promiscuous than other girls.
You may think that your father doesn't love you, but it could be that his love for you may be enormous.
It's simply a case of him not knowing how to love. He sees his own lack of self worth in you. He cannot love that, and nor can you. Know that you are a soul created by your Lord. Behind all the personal aspects that make up the physical and mental character of a human is the everlasting spirit.
You must have compassion for yourself and your parents. They, as you, are products of their childhood. Hidden behind all that ego and human weakness is the soul that Allah breathed into man. Learn to focus on this Truth, because its knowledge is the only way you can truly love yourself and your parents.
And everytime I get upset and try to explain that they are doing wrong by me...they say you call yourself a Muslim but ur getting angry and not following Islam. You have to respect me...I respect them but does that mean I cant get upset when I'm being put through nonsense? The imam wife was looking a wife for me...but my dad made an issue and called them and said he isnt ready for marriage. If he hasnt gotten my brother married who is 30 and has a job how will he get me.married? My sister had to find her own spouse by herself. This is why I'm worried and frustrated. I'm making constant dua but now I just feel like I'm cursed
But Allah already answered your duas, as Allah is swift in responding to His servants. You are blocking these blessings from manifesting in your life because you have done nothing to change your own perception of things. Your excuse is "I can't." As the Qur'an says:
13:11- Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.
You pray to Allah, but you are always "worried and frustrated." Those who are grateful and have complete trust in their Lord have nothing to worry about, and they are always in a state of contentment, because Allah is sufficient for them.
You must change, or nothing will change for you.