Passive personality

[anonymous]

How can a person change their passive personality? I'm nearing my 40s and have basically lived this way for as long as I can remember. I've intentionally tried to live an isolated life my whole adult life because of my dislike for being around other people and tried to keep to myself. I never thought much about it until recently when I started studying the life of the prophet (saws) and his companions. The more I read about the personalities of such people, the more shameful I feel about myself.

[Abz2000]

"Other people" is a bit vague isn't it?

You claim that you "intentionally" tried to live an isolated life, is it as an induced reaction to something - or simply a preferential choice of your own?


If it is an induced reaction -is it because of something wrong with the way in which they conduct themselves with you? or because there is something wrong with the way in which you conduct yourself with them?

Look into the reasons and deal with them whilst putting your trust in Allah :swt: , if a crime meriting recrification is being commited, report it to government authorities, if nothing positive is done, let everyone you can know, complain to Allah :swt: as a higher appeal, and continue to do your best in Allah :swt: 's sight with steadfastness.

Note:
Abuse of the anonymous feature on this forum is strictly prohibited and this has been made clear from the outselt - if you used it with an intention to unjustly malign other people or lead them astray from the path of Allah :swt: - repent, or consequences wull soon follow.

[anonymous]

I always liked being alone and always kept to myself. "Other people" meaning everyone and not a specific type of person or personality. I always avoided gathering whether it was related to family, school, work, or anything else that involves being in a group environment. Even if I had to put myself in those environments I always kept to myself whenever possible. Even if I didn't have to interact with anyone it still felt draining to be there. I don't know if there are any underlying issues here but I have other brothers and sisters and none of them are this way. I don't recall having any traumatic or life changing events when I was younger which could have triggered this. I always accepted it as this being who I am and nothing more until recently.

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

I always liked being alone and always kept to myself. "Other people" meaning everyone and not a specific type of person or personality. I always avoided gathering whether it was related to family, school, work, or anything else that involves being in a group environment. Even if I had to put myself in those environments I always kept to myself whenever possible. Even if I didn't have to interact with anyone it still felt draining to be there. I don't know if there are any underlying issues here but I have other brothers and sisters and none of them are this way. I don't recall having any traumatic or life changing events when I was younger which could have triggered this. I always accepted it as this being who I am and nothing more until recently.

There's nothing wrong with you, you are just very introverted and possibly even shy or self-conscious of yourself (or it may have begun that way). It's not a problem unless it pushes people away from you and you are unpleasant to be around. You will need to evaluate how others perceive you and go from there. Where the sociableness lacks, it can be made up in other ways.

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[Sawak]

Some of the Sahabas and their kin and next of kin lived ascetic lives
shunning dunya is not always a bad fing

[keiv]

Assalamu Alaikum



There's nothing wrong with you, you are just very introverted and possibly even shy or self-conscious of yourself (or it may have begun that way). It's not a problem unless it pushes people away from you and you are unpleasant to be around. You will need to evaluate how others perceive you and go from there. Where the sociableness lacks, it can be made up in other ways.

Some of the Sahabas and their kin and next of kin lived ascetic lives
shunning dunya is not always a bad fing

Introvert was the first thing I thought of. I'm the same way, but I wouldn't consider myself to be passive. Maybe that's what the OP is thinking of?

[Ahmed.]

Some of the Sahabas and their kin and next of kin lived ascetic lives
shunning dunya is not always a bad fing

I don't think he's shunning dunya. he is just shunning social company.

Asceticism will involve shunning all comforts and pleasures of life

[M.I.A.]

How can a person change their passive personality? I'm nearing my 40s and have basically lived this way for as long as I can remember. I've intentionally tried to live an isolated life my whole adult life because of my dislike for being around other people and tried to keep to myself. I never thought much about it until recently when I started studying the life of the prophet (saws) and his companions. The more I read about the personalities of such people, the more shameful I feel about myself.

Nothing to be ashamed about.

I suppose people are better off with you then you are with them..

...are they not?

The end.

Because you know you could write a book on it.

Sorry.. not really clear that..

Basically it's a time for God fearing people.

If you are ashamed then let it be of what goes through your thoughts and heart..

Of the habits you keep in public and private.

In the end, most people are unaware of the harm they can cause to each other through words and actions..

And the only thing protecting you from what they are is the religion of Allah swt.

And Allah swt is not in the least bit unjust.


..so what do people follow?

[Scimitar]

How can a person change their passive personality? I'm nearing my 40s and have basically lived this way for as long as I can remember. I've intentionally tried to live an isolated life my whole adult life because of my dislike for being around other people and tried to keep to myself. I never thought much about it until recently when I started studying the life of the prophet (saws) and his companions. The more I read about the personalities of such people, the more shameful I feel about myself.

The way to stop being passive is by asserting with compassion, your point of view, opinion, dreams and plans so that others may know who you are but more importantly - who you are not!

[Sawak]

I don't think he's shunning dunya. he is just shunning social company.

Asceticism will involve shunning all comforts and pleasures of life

true