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Studentofdeed
07-02-2019, 10:51 AM
I'm trying to be respectful towards women and keep my distance from them. In school I try to lower gaze and avoid every possible interaction I can. Numerous times some women have come on to me, really attractive women, but for the sake of Allah i did my best and alhamdullah i was able to stay away. However whenever girls talk about me in the masjid, I cant help but be curious. Keep in mind, I am making no contact with them but I want to know what girls think of me? It makes me little excited that women are talking about me and if some of them like me. I'm not leading any of them on. If I see a girl, I keep it simple and just say assalmulu Alaykum. But if often some of the young kids in the mosque tell me what their older sister say about me. And I cant help but want to know what they say about me? Is this bad and am I sinning? I have a very fragile self esteem so everytime when someone says something good and nice about me that they like, it makes me feel good. And I want to feel like I'm something good and not garbage. The person I wanted to marry discarded me in the horrific manner and acted as i was some third rate cheap man. But i was always honest and caring yet she didnt care. Its why i have a fragile self esteem and always try to make others happy. When she left me...I became extremely confused and lonely and try to find someone else but alhamdullah it never happened. But I feel guilty for looking because I was lonely...

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Keep in mind...I was ignorant and had very limited knowledge about islam... so please dont repeat the same information that talking to girls is haram. I was ignorant and everything I do, I do asking my mother. Before I got involved with that girl I asked my mother. I never commited zina or planned to. Alhamdullah
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Ahmed.
07-02-2019, 02:21 PM
You seem ok there. With low self esteem like yours you would instinctively want some praises and affection but you're keeping it all halal as possible so that's good
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HisServant
07-03-2019, 02:21 AM
Assalamu Alaikum,

I suppose you can view things this way; there are future good possibilities for you i.e interested potentials. However, at this time I truly believe it is in your best interest to keep focused on studies, learning Islam and your health. Those potentials aren't going anywhere if one of them is meant for you.

With regards to the past individual, forgetting - out of mind/thoughts and heart - would be a good start since it will help you to move on. I'm sorry that this person hurt you so much, Allah knows best of all situations and HE is Most Just. Please don't take my advice the wrong way, remember what has missed you was not meant for you. Also, it's a waste of time and energy to keep thinking about those (whoever & whatever)

Keep focused on future possibilities and have faith, make the necessary preparations - complete studies successfully etc. :)

An Islamic class you may consider (If there is time). The deadline is July 15th but can save the course work material and resources. And keep updated for the next new session.

Becoming a Man: The Young Muslim’s Guide to Growing Up


What You Will Learn:



  • Coming of age and how it affects your life
  • Being like the Prophet, blessings and peace be upon him
  • Obligatory knowledge and the importance of seeking it
  • The physical changes, moral responsibilities, and masculine qualities
  • Private parts of the body and fiqh
  • Qualities of good friends and brotherhood
  • Drugs, alcohol, and dealing with peer pressure
  • Friendships with girls, pictures, and lowering the gaze
  • How to treat girls, parents, and elders
  • The masculine virtues of manliness, strength, chivalry, forbearance, service, and mercy
  • The great historic role models
  • The path of knowledge, devotion, and da’wah


Here
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Studentofdeed
07-03-2019, 02:49 AM
Jazakallah khayran again! May Allah bless you with the best in this world

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And the next world as well
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HisServant
07-03-2019, 02:54 AM
Ameen and same for you brother.
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xboxisdead
07-03-2019, 04:15 AM
Originally Posted by HisServant
Assalamu Alaikum,

I suppose you can view things this way; there are future good possibilities for you i.e interested potentials. However, at this time I truly believe it is in your best interest to keep focused on studies, learning Islam and your health. Those potentials aren't going anywhere if one of them is meant for you.

With regards to the past individual, forgetting - out of mind/thoughts and heart - would be a good start since it will help you to move on. I'm sorry that this person hurt you so much, Allah knows best of all situations and HE is Most Just. Please don't take my advice the wrong way, remember what has missed you was not meant for you. Also, it's a waste of time and energy to keep thinking about those (whoever & whatever)

Keep focused on future possibilities and have faith, make the necessary preparations - complete studies successfully etc. :)

An Islamic class you may consider (If there is time). The deadline is July 15th but can save the course work material and resources. And keep updated for the next new session.

Becoming a Man: The Young Muslim’s Guide to Growing Up


What You Will Learn:



  • Coming of age and how it affects your life
  • Being like the Prophet, blessings and peace be upon him
  • Obligatory knowledge and the importance of seeking it
  • The physical changes, moral responsibilities, and masculine qualities
  • Private parts of the body and fiqh
  • Qualities of good friends and brotherhood
  • Drugs, alcohol, and dealing with peer pressure
  • Friendships with girls, pictures, and lowering the gaze
  • How to treat girls, parents, and elders
  • The masculine virtues of manliness, strength, chivalry, forbearance, service, and mercy
  • The great historic role models
  • The path of knowledge, devotion, and da’wah


Here
SubhanaAllah that was all suppose to be the role of the father when it comes to raising his son. Now we have to get this source from amazon.ca or some book or take courses. What have the world have reached too? - shakes his head -
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MazharShafiq
07-03-2019, 11:23 AM
it's good habits.
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