format_quote Originally Posted by
Studentofdeed
I feel like my life is going completely opposite the way I want. The mosque is no longer a place of safety. I feel like an outsider. Whenever I try to help others I'm made a fool out of. When people say your honest...it literally means your an idiot. I'm doing all that I can to make Allah happy and gave so much up. I changed so much for the sake of him and went so many times out of the way. I'm not trying to be ungrateful for that Allah has done for me...but I seriously feel like Allah mocks me. I now know that any hope of marriage, children, and good life is impossible. Otherwise it would have been easy for me. Allah doesnt want me to get those things. Probably because i dont deserve them. My life has become extremely unbareable ever since I became more religious. I just wish that if Allah hated me he would just kill me and not drag this pain out.
- - - Updated - - -
Funny thing is everytime someone dies I always wish and ask why not me...how lucky is that guy? He doesnt have to suffer anymore. Islam is the only thing preventing me from removing my pathetic existence from the world
The thing is you have to understasnd how Allah (swt) deals with us.
Many times we blame Allah (swt) for not granting us x, y and z but reality and harsh truth is we didnt put in the work.
When i didnt do too well in my exams, i blamed Allah, thinking Allah let me down, or Allah didnt want that for me.
Actually there was a flipside to that coin, I didnt put in the work, i relied on Allah without doing enough homework and ground-work.
Allah has systems in place.
Allah will help you but you have to do the ground work.
Now to your problems (highlighted in red from your post)...
1. Why do you care what other people think so much ?
2. Why is it impossible for your to get a wife ?
Also why do you think wife, kids, and good life should come easy ? It doesnt come easy for anyone.
Even people who dont believe in Allah have to work day and night to get a family and maintain it.
It takes work, it takes effort.
Thats what this life is about. Work and effort. More work and more effort.
Everyone complains about their lot in life, but Allah already told you in this life you cant have anything unless...
you strive for it.
Pick yourself back up, dust yourself off and re-build whatever part of your life (financial, emotional, spiritual etc) is broken.
We are not sat in Heaven that Allah should give us whatever we wish, or give us a easy life.
We are in Dunya, we are still in the Arena.