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Studentofdeed
08-14-2019, 06:33 AM
As I said earlier...I have a bad rep for being too nice and helping others. Because of this people take advantage of me. There has been someone who took advantage of me in really bad way and he is very arrogant about it. This guy has been very rude and shameless. I helped in ways very it even effected me in a negative manner. I done so many good things, nothing expecting anything from him but only for the sake of allah and because he is my Muslim brother. Of course I forgave him for the sake of allah but this guy has been boycotting me and refusing to say salaam. I said salaam to him occasionally but at times his attitude despite all the favors I have done for him makes me angry. It took my all the strength on me to forgive him and control my anger. However it isnt just me he has wronged. He has a bad reputation of wronging and sabotaging so many people over. I do not understand how this guy can still come to the mosque with no shame or fear of allah? Like its unbelievable. I want to ask should I warn people against him? Or will I lose the reward for forgiving him and tolerating him. Someone said it depends on your intentions but I fear my intentions may be not be good and be out of anger because I want people to see for the not so nice guy he really is.

Also if someone does oppress others...do they just get punished in the dunya or do they get punished in both? I was talking to a Sheikh but they way he was talking about oppression like it wasnt that big of deal.
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Ümit
08-14-2019, 09:01 AM
Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
As I said earlier...I have a bad rep for being too nice and helping others. Because of this people take advantage of me. There has been someone who took advantage of me in really bad way and he is very arrogant about it. This guy has been very rude and shameless. I helped in ways very it even effected me in a negative manner. I done so many good things, nothing expecting anything from him but only for the sake of allah and because he is my Muslim brother. Of course I forgave him for the sake of allah but this guy has been boycotting me and refusing to say salaam. I said salaam to him occasionally but at times his attitude despite all the favors I have done for him makes me angry. It took my all the strength on me to forgive him and control my anger. However it isnt just me he has wronged. He has a bad reputation of wronging and sabotaging so many people over. I do not understand how this guy can still come to the mosque with no shame or fear of allah? Like its unbelievable. I want to ask should I warn people against him? Or will I lose the reward for forgiving him and tolerating him. Someone said it depends on your intentions but I fear my intentions may be not be good and be out of anger because I want people to see for the not so nice guy he really is.

Also if someone does oppress others...do they just get punished in the dunya or do they get punished in both? I was talking to a Sheikh but they way he was talking about oppression like it wasnt that big of deal.
Being too nice to people is a good quality of yours and it will not harm you...people do take advantage of you...and that is OK untill a certain level but you shouldn't let people treat you as a fool. If you cant say no to him...then try to just avoid him. Helping him with stuff will not bring anything (except for the hasanaats you will earn for good intentions). He will not change his attitude towards you, nor he will show gratitude.

In my community there is someone who even had the nerves to rob our own mosque...got caught on camera...but despite of that still comes to the mosque on a regular basis...we just tolerate him somehow...

about your friend...if what he is doing to people is somehow unlawfull (illegal), then you should warn people or even authority.
if it is mot unlawfull, then there is a hadeeth that says...he who covers a mistake for someone, Allah will cover one of his mistakes on judgement day.
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Mandy
08-14-2019, 10:41 AM
Being nice to other is not bad reputation. It is quite the opposite and you should be proud of being someone who cares and helps others.
Unfortunately, some of the people around us are probably not worthy of the help they receive.
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Studentofdeed
08-14-2019, 01:38 PM
Your saying I should cover his faults? It's not like his faults are something he is ashamed or he has changed or trying. The problem is many people have suffered from his harm and I'm trying to think should I warn others from like to stay away but covering his faults even when he may be oppressing others? It's nothing illegal persay but imagine if kept asking people for help and when the person gets irritated or stands up for himself he gets insulted and says you never did anything for me anyways. It's really insulting. But I dont understand despite many people suffering, he still comes to this mosque? But I know from few good people that he backstabbed. It's easy for everyone to type behind a screen and say let it go...but I geienully want people to be aware of his evil. I said I already forgave him...but his problem wasnt with me specifically.
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Ümit
08-15-2019, 05:36 AM
Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
Your saying I should cover his faults? It's not like his faults are something he is ashamed or he has changed or trying. The problem is many people have suffered from his harm and I'm trying to think should I warn others from like to stay away but covering his faults even when he may be oppressing others? It's nothing illegal persay but imagine if kept asking people for help and when the person gets irritated or stands up for himself he gets insulted and says you never did anything for me anyways. It's really insulting. But I dont understand despite many people suffering, he still comes to this mosque? But I know from few good people that he backstabbed. It's easy for everyone to type behind a screen and say let it go...but I geienully want people to be aware of his evil. I said I already forgave him...but his problem wasnt with me specifically.
No my friend, I am not in a position to say you should or shouldn't cover his faults. I am just pointing out the hasanaat you get IF you do that. but again, I do not know your situation.
In another post of mine I have pointed out that if you are pious, and you do all your fard prayers and your intentions are correct....then everything you do turns into ibaadah. even things like eating sleeping and working.
so, maybe by warning others with the intention to protect them against this individual will give you even more hasanaats than to cover this individuals mistakes.
That is your choice...we cannot make that choice for you.

So, whatever you do...with the right intentions, you will earn your hasanaats...don't worry about that.
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