format_quote Originally Posted by
SintoDinto
I love people in my life and certain things that provide me comfort from my burdensome anxieties immensely. I was once told by a sheikh "your love (not romantic, general) is immense, most people can not take it," I read in a tafseer that one should love Allah alone by, when loving things that are wordly, such as a mother, sibling, friends, family, blessings, love for Allah, in the name of Allah, and on account of Allah alone. I read this tafseer (risale i nur, i also read ibn kathir which stated similar things but with more straightforward language, and everywhere in islamic circles that is the theme isn't it? monotheism doesn't just mean only worship one God over other LITERAL gods, but not loving other things more than God.) But I often find Allah distant, or angry with me, and I often fear hellfire, rather than seek to please Allah or gain jannah. in other words, i am more negatively reinforced than positively and it's wearing me out, and I don't even know who Allah is anymore (I mean, i know he is the creator, sustainer, and ruler, but I don't "feel" his role in my life) what should i do?
Ibn Al Qayyim said:
“The heart on its journey towards Allah the Exalted is like that of a bird. Love is its head, and fear and hope are its two wings. When the head is healthy, then the two wings will fly well. When the head is cut off, the bird will die. When either of two wings is damaged, the bird becomes vulnerable to every hunter and predator.”
Source: Madarij As-Saliheen
So in reality, A Muslim must have in their heart a combination of three things regarding Allah: love, fear and hope Without these a person's relationship with Allah would be unstable. However, see how Ibn Al Qayyim said that the "head" of the bird (the believer) was love - this makes it clear cut essential to know that love for Allah is the driving point of a believer. With which, if absent, the believer would not do good deeds for the sake of Allah or because Allah loves that deed. So really, love for Allah is the most essential thing for a believer - and it is the most essential thing in any relationship for it to thrive.
Prophet Muhammad PBUH said:
He who loves to meet Allah, Allah loves to meet him; and he who dislikes to meet Allah, Allah abhors to meet him. [Muslim]
Fear of Allah (Taqwa) protects you from bad deeds and Love of Allah (Hubb) pushes you towards good. Love of Allah makes you travel that extra mile, which cannot be undertaken by others because they shrug it off saying : “..but that's not compulsory”.
Take an example of offering Salah. We begin praying salah as kids fascinated by seeing our elders doing it. Then gradually it just becomes a habit, a routine; you see it just as a formality to be fulfilled necessarily. But finally comes a phase when you start connecting to Allah through salah. Salah is no more a task now — it's a rejuvenation time, a gift. This cycle of Love — Fear — Love, continues throughout our lives in a similar fashion. You stand up to pray out of fear of Allah but then you begin enjoying your salah and feel a yearning for the Almighty. Again, you become conscious that you might utter a wrong word or you control your mind from wandering while you are praying because of fear of Allah.
I believe this love and mercy that Allah shows for us motivates us to keep coming back to the religion. Fear has immediate effects and the slave might turn back to Allah the moment he becomes acquainted with the punishments set by Allah. But the emotion of love has more lasting effects. It enables the slave to continually do good deeds in order to get more closer to Allah.
Quran very often use two names of Allah Al-Azeez (The Mighty) & Al-Ghafoor (The Oft-forgiving) together. I can't help but be amazed at the wisdom of Allah. He wants His slaves to fear Him so that they don't fall into wrong ways, but He also doesn't want to leave His slaves despairing. He doesn't want them to lose sight of His love when they err. And the way He puts these two names together in the beginning verses of Surah Mulk indicates that He expects us to have a balance between the emotions of fear/awe and mercy/love for Him.
I will share my personal story which may relate to many. Naturally mothers are more loving than father because it comes as natural to them. My father was always very reserved and was very strict. So when I was a kid, I dreaded him whenever I made any mistake, because I feared that I’ll be getting punishment. However, when I did something good , I could see pride in the eyes of my father for me and happiness on his face. Fast forward 25-30 years, now I realize that whatever my father did , it was for my own good. Today whatever I am is because of the discipline he instilled in me and my other siblings.
So if you believe that whatever Allah does, it is for your good, then fear him and love Him in the same way as I did with my father. Fear him that if you’ll do something evil , He will be angry with you , and do all the good things that you can to make him happy.