Originally Posted by jameelash
Lets not go to the other extreme and make things haram which Allah has clearly made halal in Quran:
…….. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) …..[Quran 5:4]
Clearly Quran has allowed Muslim men to marry non Muslim women. But there are certain conditions. which I will mention later in my post.
Let's first look at the wisdom why Allah allows Muslim men to marry Christian/Jewish women and why Islam does not allow Muslim women to marry Christian/Jewish men:
Marriage in Islam is based upon love, mercy and peace of mind; a family must be built upon a firm basis to guarantee the continuity of the marital relationship. Islam respects all the previous heavenly revealed religions and the belief in all the previous Prophets is an inseparable part of the Islamic creed.
Why Islam does not allow Muslim men to marry non-Muslim women other than Jews or Christian?
A Muslim man who marries a Christian or a Jewish woman, is commanded to respect her faith, and it is not permissible for him to prevent his wife from practicing the rites of her religion and going to the church or synagogue. Therefore, Islam seeks to provide the wife with her husband's respect for her religion which in turn protects the family from destruction.
On the other hand, a non-Muslim man will not respect his Muslim wife's faith. This is because a Muslim man believes in all previous religions and Prophets of God and respects them while a non-Muslim does not believe nor acknowledges the Prophet of Islam; rather, a non-Muslim considers Prophet Mohammed a false prophet and usually believes in all the fabricated lies made against Islam and its Prophet. Even if a non-Muslim husband does not explicitly express this, a Muslim wife will constantly feel that her husband does not respect her faith. There is no room for compliments regarding this matter; it is a matter of principle. Moreover, mutual respect between spouses is a fundamental element for the continuity of their marital relationship.
Islam follows its own logic when it prohibits a Muslim man from marrying a non-Muslim other than a Christian or a Jewess for the same reason it prohibits a Muslim woman from marrying a non-Muslim.
Conditions for a Muslim man to marry Christian or Jewish women:
A Muslim believes in only the Heavenly revealed religions; all other religions are human made. So, in the case when a Muslim woman marries a non-Muslim, the element of respect to the wife's religion will be non-existent. This will affect the marital relationship and will not achieve the love and mercy that is required in a marital relationship.
- Muslim men can only marry Christian or Jewish women.
- Non-Muslim women with whom one wants to marry shall be chaste. This means that they shall be in no relationship before wedding with anyone including the Muslim men who want to marry them.
- Non-Muslim women shall be practicing their religion. For example if the woman is a Christian, then she shall be one who goes regularly to church.
- Ibn Abbas also imposed one more condition that is these non-Muslim women shall be living in the Islamic state or country. If a women lives in non Islamic country then Muslim men can't marry them. This is also the view of Imam Malik.
If one follows above 4 conditions then literally it is impossible for Muslim men to marry non-Muslim women in our time and age. It may have been possible probably a century ago because Christian and Jewish women back then used to protect their virginity before getting married. Now it is common in Western countries to have many relationships before one gets married and finding a virgin non-Muslim girl is almost impossible. It is also a fact that many Jewish and Christian women are Jew or Christian because they are born in a Jewish/Christian family. Most people in the West don't believe in God. There are some who do but to them life after death does not make sense. So one way or the other most people in the West are Jews or Christian only by name.
There is a great wisdom in the 4th condition mentioned above. Many Muslim men come to the West to find better job opportunities and permanent citizenship. It is a fact that many of them end up in marrying non-Muslim girls because they want to take a short cut and get permanent citizenship. Once they get the citizenship, all of a sudden they realize that they can't live with their non-Muslim wife. They end up having a divorce while they have children through this marriage. By law mother gets the custody of the children and guess what these children are most likely to be raised as non-Muslim.
Muslims who marry non-Muslim girls have very weak faith. Most of them don't even get up for Fajr and guess what after marrying a non-Muslim girl, their faith only gets worse. They stop praying all together, they don't fast, never come to mosque for Friday prayer or Eid prayer. They still call themselves non-practicing Muslims. However, if they marry non-Muslim girl in a Muslim society the chance is that they will still hear the call for prayer. Someone around them will still call them towards good and they will still be offering prayers and fasting. Chances are the non-Muslim girl may convert to Islam.
So my advice to Muslim men is that don't marry non-Muslims girls in Western society unless they convert to Islam or put a condition in marriage contract that you will have custody of children if the marriage ended up in divorce. You can still marry Christian and Jewish girls if you live in an Islamic state but that should be your last option.