Greetings and peace be with you Studentofdeed;
do I have the right to feel upset?
This person hurt you in the past, so it should be over; but you are giving them permission to continue hurting you. It is like you have given them a remote control, and every time they push the buttons, you feel bad, they could be a thousand miles away, and they are still controlling your feelings; because you are still giving them permission to hurt you.
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Studentofdeed
I just feel bad for disliking them
Because Allah gave you a conscience, you are a kind and caring person, and when you feel upset and angry, you cannot be that kind and caring person that Allah created you to be.
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Studentofdeed
but I will not forgive their child because I'm still haunted and still feel the effects of their abuse.
You are hurting yourself, you are not hurting them, by having these feelings. My story might help you.
I believe I was unfairly sacked in 2011 from a job I had been doing for ten years. I never had a day of sick, I did a lot of jobs other people seemed afraid to do, caring for people with challenging behaviour. A colleague I had been working with for a few years, witnessed an event that would have helped my defence, she said she would write a witness statement for me. But the manager told her she should not write this statement; so she didn’t. This lady died unexpectedly a couple of months later, my prayers were that I have forgiven her, and that God also forgives her.
Since being sacked; I have done about two thousand hours of voluntary work for the people who sacked me. On occasions, I come into contact with the people responsible for my sacking, I pray that God will bless them and give them peace.
It has been easier for me to do two thousand hours of voluntary work, rather than to hold onto any anger and hate I could have for them. I know this to be true; because in the past I have lived with real anger; I know how it has made me feel; it eats away at the soul and makes you feel miserable. I am determined that I will not be controlled by anger; I just don’t have the time or energy for those emotions any more.
In the spirit of praying for a peace that surpasses all understanding,
Eric