Walaikumasalaam dear sister,
I am sorry to hear about your situation. It saddens me on many levels. I was listening to an islamic lecture not so long ago and it said if daughters got the love and confort at home they would never seek this validation from elsewhere. Now this is not an excuse for all sisters who come from unloved family background to fill the void through haraam means but i do feel it is an inportant point especially for young sisters who think you find your prince and you live hapily ever after. The effect of movies especially bollywood movies on young minds is so deterimental. Ya Allah. I detest bollywood movies for this reason.
Now i must say yes you have made some silly mistakes but know this dear sister. You have the power and the capacity within you do make something beautiful of your life. Yes you have sinned but know that Allah swt is THE most merciful. The GREATEST pious people in Islamic hostory were the people who lived a period of thier life in sins. There is still hope. You are still breathing Alhamdulilah.
Find it within you to sort your life out. Start talking to your family members more often. Our family members especially our parents always gives us advice that will benefit us. Islam protects us women and men in so many ways. Why do we humans think we know better? When we ignore the rules and teachings of Islam we only hurt ourselves and then we have to live with the scars.
In the meantime you MUST visit
www.kalamullah
com
Educate yourseld about Islam. Put steps in place to protect yourself. Keep your mind engaged and close all doors to sins. If you are living alone you are very vulnerable. Try and reunite with family members. I would strongly advise you not to live alone under these delicate circumstances. You are emotionally vulnerable and can easily be a victim of another prince charming or indeed the same one!! Think logically with your mind and not your emotions.
Ya Allah make it easy for us in this unkind world Ameen.