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Studentofdeed
12-17-2019, 04:20 AM
I have had enough. The looking down and arrogance. I forgive the people of the mosque but this hatred and anger of mine is too much. I have to stop going because otherwise I will harm others. I have no choice but to stop going
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taha_
12-17-2019, 05:54 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
I have had enough. The looking down and arrogance. I forgive the people of the mosque but this hatred and anger of mine is too much. I have to stop going because otherwise I will harm others. I have no choice but to stop going
Assalam o alaikum rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

Do you have any other masjid? I suggset asking scholar about this.
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'Abdullah
12-17-2019, 05:59 AM


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taha_
12-17-2019, 06:03 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by HabibUrrehman
Assalam o Alaikm rahamutullahi wa barakuthu.

SubhanAllah. And then we phyiscially and mentally healthy muslims ask for excuses!

JazakAllah khair
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'Abdullah
12-17-2019, 06:12 AM
Assalam O Alaikum Wa Rahamtullahi Wa Barakatuh,

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said:
A blind man [Ibn Umm Maktoom] came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I have no one to lead me to the mosque,” and he asked the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to grant him a concession allowing him to pray in his house, and he allowed him that. But when he turned away he said, “Can you hear the call to prayer?” He said, “Yes.” He said, “Then answer it.” According to a version narrated by Abu Dawood (552) and Ibn Maajah (792) he said: “I do not think there is any concession for you.”
Al-Nawawi said concerning this hadeeth: its isnaad is saheeh or hasan.

Al-Majmoo’, 4/164

Ibn al-Mundhir said:

If there is no concession for a blind man, then it is more appropriate that there should be no concession for one who can see.

If we truly understand the meaning of prayer and if we have true love of Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala, then our hearts will always be in the mosques. I understand that most people in your mosque may be very toxic and may not be good Muslims, but you don’t go to masjid for them. You go to visit the house of Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala and to meet Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala. Whatever people say on your face or on your back, should not worry you, rather it should bring you more closer to Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala. Don’t expect anything from anyone, and know that Allah knows what you are going through. Be patient and inshallah you will see the reward soon. People of the same masjid will love you when you stop caring about what they say.

Stay strong my brother and don’t give up going to masjid. Shaytan is constantly working to corner you, don’t fall in his trap.

Ma’a Salama
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taha_
12-17-2019, 06:28 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by HabibUrrehman
Assalam O Alaikum Wa Rahamtullahi Wa Barakatuh,

If we truly understand the meaning of prayer and if we have true love of Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala, then our hearts will always be in the mosques. I understand that most people in your mosque may be very toxic and may not be good Muslims, but you don’t go to masjid for them. You go to visit the house of Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala and to meet Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala. Whatever people say on your face or on your back, should not worry you, rather it should bring you more closer to Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala. Don’t expect anything from anyone, and know that Allah knows what you are going through. Be patient and inshallah you will see the reward soon. People of the same masjid will love you when you stop caring about what they say.

Stay strong my brother and don’t give up going to masjid. Shaytan is constantly working to corner you, don’t fall in his trap.

Ma’a Salama
Assalam o alaikum rahamutullahi wa barakuthu.

That is right. Also we should love our masjid and have feeling for it, there is a shade on day of Judgment for people who are attached to their masjid in their hearts. even if the masjid is full of fitnah.

JazakAllah khair

- - - Updated - - -

format_quote Originally Posted by HabibUrrehman
Assalam O Alaikum Wa Rahamtullahi Wa Barakatuh,

If we truly understand the meaning of prayer and if we have true love of Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala, then our hearts will always be in the mosques. I understand that most people in your mosque may be very toxic and may not be good Muslims, but you don’t go to masjid for them. You go to visit the house of Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala and to meet Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala. Whatever people say on your face or on your back, should not worry you, rather it should bring you more closer to Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala. Don’t expect anything from anyone, and know that Allah knows what you are going through. Be patient and inshallah you will see the reward soon. People of the same masjid will love you when you stop caring about what they say.

Stay strong my brother and don’t give up going to masjid. Shaytan is constantly working to corner you, don’t fall in his trap.

Ma’a Salama
Assalam o alaikum rahamutullahi wa barakuthu.

That is right. Also we should love our masjid and have feeling for it, there is a shade on day of Judgment for people who are attached to their masjid in their hearts. even if the masjid is full of fitnah.

JazakAllah khair
Reply

Eric H
12-17-2019, 08:52 AM
Greetings and peace be with you Studentofdeed;

this hatred and anger of mine is too much
Anger is like picking up a burning coal; with the intention of throwing it at the person who angers you. But the person who gets burned the most is you. The longer you hold onto this burning coal of anger, the hotter it becomes, and sadly you seem to have been holding onto this burning coal for a long time.

Anger has to go somewhere, either you turn it against the person that angers you, or you turn your anger against something else, or you turn it against yourself. The hardest thing to do, is to drop the burning coal of anger so you no longer hold onto it.

format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
I forgive the people
Have you fully forgiven them? Can you pray that Allah will also forgive them too, that you hold nothing against them? You will only find true peace when you can let go, ask Allah for help..

May Allah bless you in your struggles,

Eric
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Studentofdeed
12-17-2019, 10:54 AM
Today earlier people were so arrogant and rude to me. Every time I have good intentions it literally backfires on me. Let these racist arrogant people keep their daughters. My mother doesnt want to marry nor does any person from the mosque so that only means Allah doesnt want me to marry. I have no choice but to accept it so I decided to never marry. I have done so much for these people and these jerks still taunt me. One of them was joking saying you will never marry. Then they make fun of Pakistani and indians?! I have had it. Even for the sake of Allah, I know for a fact that if I go again i will end up losing my temper and doing or saying something I regret. I no longer have patience. I have enough nonsense st home and do not need it from the so called practicing muslims in the mosque. Yes I did forgive them which is the only thing stopping me from making dua against them. I want to curse them and their whole kind for the whole misery and pain they brought on me yet only the hope that Allah may like me is the only I reason I put up with them. Even the hateed and anger against my indifferent tyrannical father and my mother who doesnt want me to get married yet gives me the illusion that i will eventually marry yet she doesnt want me to. I still make duas for them but only for Allah not because i love them. They have always abandoned me when i needed them even when I was dying...This whole life is a sick joke. Evil people can screw other people over and have a perfect life while the poor victims who are left picking up the pieces, society tears them apart. I know the women part is a test that when muslim women reject me and nonmuslims are showing me attention. This Is just a sick joke.
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Studentofdeed
12-17-2019, 10:57 AM
Its easy for everyone to sit behind a computer screen and tell me that's all going to be fine and I'm overreacting but if you had to deal with racism, arrogrant double standard uneducated people, and having PTSD where I end up getting panic attacks then you all would know how I feel
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Ahmed.
12-17-2019, 11:14 AM
Brother, do you have a mosque not too far from your home where no one knows you? If yes then go to that one so no one can taunt you or be nasty to you. If not, then just do your prayers at home and for Friday prayers, travel far a bit to go to a mosque where none of the mosque-goers there knows you.

You're right that you need to protect yourself from psychological harm so avoid the mosques where people will taunt you

Those hadiths that stress the importance of going to Mosques is for mentally normal people and mentally ill people like you can avoid mosques where your illness is likely to be exacerbated
Reply

'aznil
12-17-2019, 11:14 AM
Hi, The issue that you are facing is the people and not the mosque. The people is an option, the mosque is not.
Perhaps Taha’s suggestion can be considered too. Look at it as something اَللّهُ trying to show you, to tell you. Surely not for you to give up. Please try. And let us know.
Reply

Ahmed.
12-17-2019, 11:32 AM
Your mental illness ( paranoia, riya (caring too much about what people think about you) and being hyper sensitive) is curable but those kids or whoever in that Mosque taunts you will hinder your cure and make your illness worse, so don't despair, just avoid those people or places where those people are likely to be, and you will have a chance to slowly heal
Reply

taha_
12-17-2019, 01:39 PM
Assalam o alaikum rahamutullahi wa barakuthu.

Brother please calm down. Don't let shaytan attack you. Allah is putting you in these trials, so that you could be better Muslim in sha Allah..


format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
My mother doesnt want to marry nor does any person from the mosque so that only means Allah doesnt want me to marry.
Marriage is difficult trial aswell. You need to be phyiscally and mentally healthy before getting married, and also finanical support. What was your intention? Do you want to be married so that you could live peacefully with your wife and children?

Ask your mother about your urgent of marriage. Tell her that you have rights to marry anyone. You have rights to marry someone you like, as long she is of good character. Parents have no rights to reject that good girl. even if it is because of her tribe / nation, race color, lineage. which is stupid and not islamic.


format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
Its easy for everyone to sit behind a computer screen and tell me that's all going to be fine and I'm overreacting but if you had to deal with racism, arrogrant double standard uneducated people, and having PTSD where I end up getting panic attacks then you all would know how I feel
You are fortuneably that you are in difficult trials which Allah is helping you to be better Muslim . I am living too easy life. doing nothing much, just some religious acts and then looking at islamicboard website most of the time :(

May Allah help you in your struggles. and grant you into Jannat-e-Firadus. He is Most Just (Al-Adl), in sha Allah, He will help you against your oppressors.

you can recite Quran to help you mentally relaxed. You can also visit doctors, there is nothing with that. You should take rest in your home there is nothing wrong with restting. Just perform prayers in it as Ahmed said so. Allah doesn't want to put any difficultes in His servants. Islam is not extreme.

I hope this opinion doesn't make you angry. I only tried to help you. The best thing I would recommend is leave everything to Allah.

JazakAllah khair
Reply

'Abdullah
12-17-2019, 04:02 PM
Brother Ahmed advice is good but I don't think it is a permanent solution. This will isolate the OP from the community and chances are higher for him to fall into other sins and eventually stop praying. He will become social awkward and will always feel nervous in social gatherings.
In life, many people try to escape from various things. No matter what they are trying to avoid, these things ultimately ladder down to their fears, their deepest sorrows, their pains, their past, and their disappointments. In relationships, you see escapism come into play when people rebound after painful breakups. Rather than deal with the situation, they seek solace in someone else. The feeling of being wanted and desired, by someone — anyone — covers up the pain of their breakup. While the person may seem to have escaped dealing with the pain head on, in reality this wound has not been properly addressed nor healed. It is just there, dormant, throbbing silently until the day when it resurfaces in a different manner. In other areas of life, you see people escaping from other things. For example, socially shy people who stay away from public spots. People who stay put in passionless jobs because they are afraid of failure from pursuing what they love or because they are afraid to know that there is something far better for them elsewhere. People who avoid challenges because they are afraid of supposed “pain” and “suffering.” People who avoid their past because they are reminded of their deepest sorrows. People who avoid their issues because they think they have no strength to face them. There are even some who basically spend their whole lives trying to escape from their issues.
It is important to understand that escapism is a kind of defense mechanism. It occurs as a result of you trying to protect yourself from something. Specifically, your ego trying to protect yourself. Except that it really isn’t (protecting you from anything).

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that avoidance does not solve anything. The proverb ‘Ignorance is bliss’ is probably one of the most delusional proverbs of all time. If there is an issue you are facing with, that issue doesn’t disappear by avoiding it. It’s still there; it will always be there until you face it. It’s like an ostrich burying its head in the sand — just because you turn your head away from everything and pretend that everything is okay, does not mean that it is okay. Sure, it may seem easy to just avoid your issues. It may seem easy to just sleep everything away and wake up to a bright and sunny morning the next day, with everything faded into a semi-distant memory.
But these don’t solve anything. You may get a temporal sense of relief from not having to face what you are trying to avoid. But who are you really lying to? Seriously, who? You don’t get anything solved from hiding, avoiding, or escaping. You just end up backing off from them all the way until you are eventually walled into a corner one day and you have no choice but to face them.
Until you acknowledge and muster the courage to deal with what you are trying to escape from, your issues will not miraculously disappear. They will continue to be there, creating looping patterns in your life. You will keep finding yourself stuck in similar situations and contexts, thinking the same things, feeling the same emotions, and doing the same things — over, and over, and over again — until the day you finally decide to do something about them. Loops require conscious intervention in order to break out of them.
As long as you are trying to avoid something, a part of you is vibrating at a consciousness level of shame or guilt. So long as a part of you, however small, is trapped at that level, it makes you unable to fully progress and evolve as a person. To grow, you need to confront what you are trying to avoid.

I’m not saying that facing your issues is easy. It’s not. When you are trying to avoid something, it is usually a reflection of deeper inner issues which you have not resolved. These issues are delicate. These issues are very real. It takes true strength and courage to be able to face them head on. And in the process of working through your issues, you don’t always win. Sometimes you may make some headway, only to be subdued afterward. Sometimes, you get beaten back down almost immediately. This is especially so if it involves dealing with something you have been struggling with since a while back. But that’s okay. What’s important is you never stop trying. You may get discouraged and dismayed. But don't give up, regather yourself and continue to press on and fight.
As long as you keep going; as long as you keep confronting your issues; as long as you keep fighting, you will become stronger and stronger. You will grow bigger than your problems such that they are no longer problems. You will level up. I promise you that it will simply be a matter of time before you emerge victorious. When that happens, you will be living a life where you are truly liberated; a life where you are no longer running or hiding from something. A life of courage and bravery. A life of truth, authenticity and honesty to everyone. A life of integrity and honesty to yourself.

This is how I look at problems in my life and I would advise you to do the same, face your problems and stop avoiding them if you really want to grow.
Reply

Ahmed.
12-17-2019, 07:39 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by HabibUrrehman
Brother Ahmed advice is good but I don't think it is a permanent solution. This will isolate the OP from the community and chances are higher for him to fall into other sins and eventually stop praying. He will become social awkward and will always feel nervous in social gatherings.
In life, many people try to escape from various things. No matter what they are trying to avoid, these things ultimately ladder down to their fears, their deepest sorrows, their pains, their past, and their disappointments. In relationships, you see escapism come into play when people rebound after painful breakups. Rather than deal with the situation, they seek solace in someone else. The feeling of being wanted and desired, by someone — anyone — covers up the pain of their breakup. While the person may seem to have escaped dealing with the pain head on, in reality this wound has not been properly addressed nor healed. It is just there, dormant, throbbing silently until the day when it resurfaces in a different manner. In other areas of life, you see people escaping from other things. For example, socially shy people who stay away from public spots. People who stay put in passionless jobs because they are afraid of failure from pursuing what they love or because they are afraid to know that there is something far better for them elsewhere. People who avoid challenges because they are afraid of supposed “pain” and “suffering.” People who avoid their past because they are reminded of their deepest sorrows. People who avoid their issues because they think they have no strength to face them. There are even some who basically spend their whole lives trying to escape from their issues.
It is important to understand that escapism is a kind of defense mechanism. It occurs as a result of you trying to protect yourself from something. Specifically, your ego trying to protect yourself. Except that it really isn’t (protecting you from anything).

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that avoidance does not solve anything. The proverb ‘Ignorance is bliss’ is probably one of the most delusional proverbs of all time. If there is an issue you are facing with, that issue doesn’t disappear by avoiding it. It’s still there; it will always be there until you face it. It’s like an ostrich burying its head in the sand — just because you turn your head away from everything and pretend that everything is okay, does not mean that it is okay. Sure, it may seem easy to just avoid your issues. It may seem easy to just sleep everything away and wake up to a bright and sunny morning the next day, with everything faded into a semi-distant memory.
But these don’t solve anything. You may get a temporal sense of relief from not having to face what you are trying to avoid. But who are you really lying to? Seriously, who? You don’t get anything solved from hiding, avoiding, or escaping. You just end up backing off from them all the way until you are eventually walled into a corner one day and you have no choice but to face them.
Until you acknowledge and muster the courage to deal with what you are trying to escape from, your issues will not miraculously disappear. They will continue to be there, creating looping patterns in your life. You will keep finding yourself stuck in similar situations and contexts, thinking the same things, feeling the same emotions, and doing the same things — over, and over, and over again — until the day you finally decide to do something about them. Loops require conscious intervention in order to break out of them.
As long as you are trying to avoid something, a part of you is vibrating at a consciousness level of shame or guilt. So long as a part of you, however small, is trapped at that level, it makes you unable to fully progress and evolve as a person. To grow, you need to confront what you are trying to avoid.

I’m not saying that facing your issues is easy. It’s not. When you are trying to avoid something, it is usually a reflection of deeper inner issues which you have not resolved. These issues are delicate. These issues are very real. It takes true strength and courage to be able to face them head on. And in the process of working through your issues, you don’t always win. Sometimes you may make some headway, only to be subdued afterward. Sometimes, you get beaten back down almost immediately. This is especially so if it involves dealing with something you have been struggling with since a while back. But that’s okay. What’s important is you never stop trying. You may get discouraged and dismayed. But don't give up, regather yourself and continue to press on and fight.
As long as you keep going; as long as you keep confronting your issues; as long as you keep fighting, you will become stronger and stronger. You will grow bigger than your problems such that they are no longer problems. You will level up. I promise you that it will simply be a matter of time before you emerge victorious. When that happens, you will be living a life where you are truly liberated; a life where you are no longer running or hiding from something. A life of courage and bravery. A life of truth, authenticity and honesty to everyone. A life of integrity and honesty to yourself.

This is how I look at problems in my life and I would advise you to do the same, face your problems and stop avoiding them if you really want to grow.
Brother his priority is to heal his mental illness and its the 'community' that is harming him so isolation is better in this case until he is healed. He won't be totally isolated as he has his family, he has us on here and he got Allah.
Reply

Ahmed.
12-17-2019, 07:47 PM
Unfortunately some people like to make fun of the mentally ill, they like to mess mentally ill people about and I'm pretty sure this is what's happening to studentofdeed and the only way he stands a chance at cure is if he totally avoids them people who mess him about, as afflictions in the mind worsens a person's mental illness and prolongs the cure
Reply

'Abdullah
12-17-2019, 08:47 PM
Assalam O Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh Brother,

If you know prayer timings then just try to be in masjid few minutes before fard salah so that you can pray tahayyatul Masjid and join the congregational prayer. Try to leave right after praying the fard, you can read your Sunnah at home ( this is in fact Sunnah). This will help you to pray in masjid with little to no communication with the people who are making fun of you.

Mean while please stay connected to this forum and share your problems with us. Know that not all fingers are equal. We all love you and feel your pain. I request all members of this forum to make dua for this brother. May Allah Subhanahu Wa Taala make it easy for him! Ameen!

Ma'a Salama
Reply

Ahmed.
12-17-2019, 09:38 PM
OP has mentioned that he fears he's going to lose it and do something UnIslamic, so there is a risk of him flying into a rage, attacking one of his taunters, and then being sectioned: that's another reason why staying away from that 'bad community' of taunters is best
Reply

Scimitar
12-17-2019, 09:52 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
I have had enough. The looking down and arrogance. I forgive the people of the mosque but this hatred and anger of mine is too much. I have to stop going because otherwise I will harm others. I have no choice but to stop going
are you there to look at peoples faces?

or to humble yourself with lowered gaze in worship to Allah ??
Reply

Studentofdeed
12-17-2019, 10:22 PM
Jazakallah khayran for everyone who replied but I'm not going to say anything anymore. I'm in the position where any small thing could blow me up. The last thing I want to do is state something horrible and make kufr statements. I do not need people looking down on me in this forum and accusing me of riya and calling me mentally ill over again.
Reply

'Abdullah
12-17-2019, 10:34 PM
Cheer up brother, this time will pass inshallah. We all love you and are giving you our opinions because we care about you. If we said anything hurtful then I ask for your forgiveness.

Jazak Allah Khair
Reply

Eric H
12-18-2019, 07:56 AM
Greetings and peace be with you Studentofdeed;

May Allah bless you with the wisdom and the courage to do his will, may Allah bless you with a peace that surpasses all understanding.

Eric
Reply

Ümit
12-18-2019, 09:03 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
Jazakallah khayran for everyone who replied but I'm not going to say anything anymore. I'm in the position where any small thing could blow me up. The last thing I want to do is state something horrible and make kufr statements. I do not need people looking down on me in this forum and accusing me of riya and calling me mentally ill over again.
Selamun aleykum brother,

I am sure no one is accusing you of anything. people who spoke about riya or mental illness just chose wrong words to describe your situation. They just want to understand what you are going through. I am sure no one used those words deliberately to offend you. We are here to help you, and give you good advise...not to look down on you.
so please forgive us if one of us said something wrong. we Do appreciate that you are sharing your story with us.
Reply

Ahmed.
12-18-2019, 10:09 AM
Brother rather than focus on marraige, you should focus on healing, as you should think, if you ask anyone to assist you in marraige or give their daughters to you you would be an object of derision as no one wants to give their daughters in marraige to mentally ill people. So you should take a couple of years to heal first and not be so desperate to marry now

I think part of the mockery and taunts towards you is for this reason, they might be incensed that you're seeking their daughters while being so obviously? mentally ill
Reply

taha_
12-18-2019, 10:38 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ahmed.
I think part of the mockery and taunts towards you is for this reason, they might be incensed that you're seeking their daughters while being so obviously? mentally ill
Assalam o Alaikum rahamutullahi wa barkuthu.

Please don't call him that, he is being hurt. Instead, be gentle with him, and not use words that can be hurtful. He already said this

format_quote Originally Posted by Ümit
I do not need people looking down on me in this forum and accusing me of riya and calling me mentally ill over again.
JazakAllah khair

Not you brother Umit, i was talking about brother studentofdeed's quote
Reply

Ahmed.
12-18-2019, 11:10 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by taha_
Assalam o Alaikum rahamutullahi wa barkuthu.

Please don't call him that, he is being hurt. Instead, be gentle with him, and not use words that can be hurtful. He already said this



JazakAllah khair

Not you brother Umit, i was talking about brother studentofdeed's quote
Oh sorry I never read his post. But I don't see why he should feel hurt as he is telling us this himself in so many words.
Reply

Ahmed.
12-18-2019, 11:28 AM
@Studentofdeed

For a cure to your problems, there needs to be a diagnosis, you shouldn't feel bad about the diagnosis.
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