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View Full Version : Is what I did wrong/haram?



Samarali
01-28-2020, 04:25 AM
I want yalls opinion on something that ive done today. Please tell me if i was in the wrong.
This morning i was driving my husband to work and on my way there I noticed a teenager running/walking on the side of the road. With his book bag behind him I immediately knew he probably missed the bus, so therefore he is walking to school. However the school is really really far by walking (like 2 hrs +) I first ignored it but it remained at the back of my mind. So after about 15 mins driving i dropped my hubby off and headed home on the same road so another 15 mins pass and I see the kid is still walking. At this point there was no doubt in my mind he missed the bus and now he walking to school but the school was still very far. (About another hour of walking)
At first in couldn't believe no one stopped for him to give him a ride. It was slightly raining and cold and the kid looked exhausted. But I drove right passed him and thought to myself "it's none of my buisness"....about 4 mins of driving away I felt this lump in my throat and a sharp pang of regret. How could I be dissapointed in others for not helping when I too drove right passed him. I don't ever want to be the kind of person who just pretends to not see someone in need. So I turned the car around and went back to the kid. I asked if he needed a ride and he said yes so I did. I asked him why he was out in the cold walking to school and he told me he missed the bus and his grandpa was too sick to take him. I dropped him off and he thanked me. (He was a very well mannered kid for a 16 y.o)
Later that day I told my husband what I did and he FLIPPED OUT. He was so furious with me why I helped that kid. He said there is a reason no one else helped him so why did you?! I kept trying to tell him he was just a kid and if I were to just leave him in would regret it forever. Allah knows what could have happened if i didn't help. The roads here are dangerous so many people die walking on them. And I would have never forgave myself if something happened to him when i had the opportunity to stop that from happening.
But my husband wouldn't listen he said 16 is big enough for something bad to happen to you, that kids these days drink and do drugs. That i dont know if that kid was dangerous or not.and that I shouldn't pity or have any kind of compassion for them. When i told him my sis in law said it was good in helping him and that i would get "hasanat" he said are you crazy that is haram how can u be inside a car with a non mahram and get hasanat. And that if I were to ever do something like that again he would divorce me.

In a sense his words are true, i dont know if someone is good or bad intentions, but I followed my gut feeling that I should help that kid. That kid is 1 year older than my brother and they go to the same school. and I guess I saw as if it was my brother walking/running for 1 1/2 hrs plus in the freezing cold and rain.

So was what I did haram or if not haram was it wrong? Is what my husband said right? What would you have done in this kind of situation? Should I have done anything differenty. Also should I have never told my husband in the first place?
Please tell me your opinions.
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Alpha Dude
01-28-2020, 01:04 PM
I agree with your husband.

In this situation, nothing bad happened, thankfully. But, you know nothing about a stranger you pick up off street so it is always better to be cautious.

Your husband has protective jealousy (ghira) and that is a good thing. He doesn't want you to he harmed, nor does he want to see you with or around another non - mahram man alone.
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*charisma*
01-28-2020, 04:46 PM
Assalamu Alaikum

Your husband was with you when you initially saw him, why didn't you ask your husband then?

Imagine if your daughter was picked up by a strange man. Would you let her ride in the car with him? I would think you'd be terrified to allow that, so it's the same feeling your husband is feeling about you allowing someone to ride with you.

Granted I understand how you felt, that's our emotional side kicking in lol. However, Islamically he is not a mahram therefore its haram, and logically there could have been potential danger in it. You had the chance to do it with your husband with you, so it wasn't really smart to do it afterwards while alone. You also have to take into consideration if this kid's school is important to him, he would've made more of an effort to get to school on time or carpooled with someone else. I know there could've been many reasons for him not making it that day but we have to put our emotions aside sometimes. Not all people are bad people or dangerous of course, but for the sake of doing the Islamic thing, you did the wrong thing. Good intentions should meet the correct form of action, and in this case, you were well-intentioned, but did the incorrect thing.
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