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wasio shaikh
04-15-2020, 10:49 AM
Assalamu alaykum i was in relation a girl has past of zina but i accepted her past after that we start talking on call after that i purposed her for marriage she accepted after that i talked my family but they refused i tried to convince my family but they refused after that we continue chat but approx 5 moths of chat she again commit zina & she have no shame of that but i said him say sorry to Allah but she was not felling guilty of that since first day i was saying to him for nimaz she many time offer many time she fights to me not say for nimaz i know what to do & what not to do its my nimaz you have nothing to it we never talk any adult conversation but after she commits zina i was fighting him on any thing my family refused her completely
because of his past & istikhara was also negative than i told her you on you way & i on my way but my mistake was i promised her that i will marry you at the end she called me after 1 week she start fighting to me & saying you broke my heart & talking me for my religious acts she made me aggressive than i said about his past we were chat for 14 months we never meet privet i never touched her nor she but she course me.
sorry i know my English is not good but what should i do in this matter .

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taha_
04-15-2020, 11:11 AM
Assalam o Alaikaum rahamautullahi wa barakuthu

it is better for you to leave her. Allah has something better for you. You may feel anxious, but you should try to overcome it, Trust Allah. For He has Power over everything, and everything is decreed by Him.

When one leaves something for sake of Allah, Allah will give him something else better.

So please leave her immdiately.
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Al-Ansariyah
04-15-2020, 12:09 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by wasio shaikh
Assalamu alaykum i was in relation a girl has past of zina but i accepted her past after that we start talking on call after that i purposed her for marriage she accepted after that i talked my family but they refused i tried to convince my family but they refused after that we continue chat but approx 5 moths of chat she again commit zina & she have no shame of that but i said him say sorry to Allah but she was not felling guilty of that since first day i was saying to him for nimaz she many time offer many time she fights to me not say for nimaz i know what to do & what not to do its my nimaz you have nothing to it we never talk any adult conversation but after she commits zina i was fighting him on any thing my family refused her completely
because of his past & istikhara was also negative than i told her you on you way & i on my way but my mistake was i promised her that i will marry you at the end she called me after 1 week she start fighting to me & saying you broke my heart & talking me for my religious acts she made me aggressive than i said about his past we were chat for 14 months we never meet privet i never touched her nor she but she course me.
sorry i know my English is not good but what should i do in this matter .
Walekumassalam warahmatullahi wabarkatuh brother
U promised her that u would marry her nd u r anxious about that promise ..right? Then..

Allah says regarding to expiation of promise:

"Allah will not impose blame upon you for what is meaningless in your oaths, but He will impose blame upon you for [breaking] what you intended of oaths. So its expiation is the feeding of ten needy people from the average of that which you feed your [own] families or clothing them or the freeing of a slave. But whoever cannot find [or afford it] - then a fast of three days [is required]. That is the expiation for oaths when you have sworn. But guard your oaths. Thus does Allah make clear to you His verses that you may be grateful. "[ Surah al maeeda :89]

So from above verse , it is clear that either u feed or cloth ten needy people or free a slave or fast three consecutive days....




Nd of course, u should forget her.. this was just some kind of affection... Nd now u should move on .....
Like brother said above ' If u leave something for the sake of Allah, He will give u something better' ...

Nd wait for ur marriage. Wait for someone who will complete half of ur deen. Nd yes.. marry someone who is deeply interested in islam... That will be beneficial for u...do not be in contact with na mahram...

Jazakallah khair
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CuriousonTruth
04-15-2020, 12:09 PM
Run away from her like road-runner runs away from coyote
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Studentofdeed
04-16-2020, 04:43 AM
First of all based off what I understood is that you intended to marry her? Right? However your family said no. But you still talked to her? So I would say repent and leave this girl be because as you said that she still committed zina with someone else! How can you marry someone who claims to love you but is cheating on you? This girl is obviously not worth your time and effort and Allah is saving you from a bad woman through your family. Your family had every right to refuse. If someone did zina and they repent, then they can marry but it seems this girl is still in this sin. She is no good for you. No, you did not break her heart because you did everything you could to be with her. However, she is putting the blame on you and is emotionally blackmailing you so that she can marry someone who is pure and good. She knows she many not find a nice guy like you. So brother repent to Allah and stay away from haram. Haram relationships are haram for a reason and listen to your family. They only want whats best for you.
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Imraan
04-16-2020, 05:18 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by wasio shaikh
Assalamu alaykum i was in relation a girl has past of zina but i accepted her past after that we start talking on call after that i purposed her for marriage she accepted after that i talked my family but they refused i tried to convince my family but they refused after that we continue chat but approx 5 moths of chat she again commit zina & she have no shame of that but i said him say sorry to Allah but she was not felling guilty of that since first day i was saying to him for nimaz she many time offer many time she fights to me not say for nimaz i know what to do & what not to do its my nimaz you have nothing to it we never talk any adult conversation but after she commits zina i was fighting him on any thing my family refused her completely
because of his past & istikhara was also negative than i told her you on you way & i on my way but my mistake was i promised her that i will marry you at the end she called me after 1 week she start fighting to me & saying you broke my heart & talking me for my religious acts she made me aggressive than i said about his past we were chat for 14 months we never meet privet i never touched her nor she but she course me.
sorry i know my English is not good but what should i do in this matter .
Sounds like someone with no shame and someone who doesn't learn from mistakes. Do you also want to be victim of hers too? Marry someone with religion as their focus.

Nowadays sustaining marriage isnt easy, follow the sunnah and then trust qadr of Allah swt.

I cant explain why people do shameful things without feeling even a drop of embarrassment. Are they misguided? Do they choose to be misguided, are they possessed? Are they easy prey to shaytaan, does their upbringing programme their inner standards and shape their morals. Actions speak louder than words, a person's actions and mannerisms define a person's character and attributes, is this person someone you really want to spend your life with? Can you hack it bro?

Remember a common trait in majority of people: "old habits do indeed die hard", I.e. some people are resistant to change, they cant help it, they lack control.

Sorry for my pessimistic view, but do make a well informed decision and not leave to chance. That's the least you should do.

Pray everyone is protected from evil and crisis insh Allah.

AllahuAlaaam
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