Greetings and peace be with you ReemMohamoud; and welcome to the forum;
This disorder is preventing me from getting close to Allah.
Never give up hope in Allah, his first name is that he is merciful to all his creation. Allah knows how he created each and everyone of us, he will know that none of us are perfect. I don't believe we will be judged because we are not perfect, but rather by how we keep trying and not giving up. I am still struggling with my lack of faith, and I am only seventy one.
May Allah continue to bless you through your struggles;
Eric