format_quote Originally Posted by
anonymous
Sorry to bump the thread but its's been over a week and I feel uneasy at this matter being unresolved especially as we should not be angered with a fellow muslim for more than 3 days. However, I know that if I was to meet Ali it would be the usual spiel ie him qualifying his action as though he's in criminal court acting on behalf of a defendant. Been down this road too often and it's not in my nature to cut ties and I deteste the thought of people cutting ties over trivial matters. However I know ALi too well and cannot face being lectured on the wrongs of everyone else but him. Unfortunately he clings on to things and while most will mentally delete things he seeks to justify his stance...
Assalaamu Alaikum,
It's clear that shaythan is stirring up tension and has caused hatred and enmity in Ali's heart for another Muslim brother and neighbour. Firstly you must be firm with Ali that you do not want to listen to anymore of what he has to say about Abdullah regardless of his reasons because backbiting and slander is totally forbidden for the one who utters it and hears it. So you are getting a sin everytime you listen to any of what he complains to you about constantly.
Therefore you need to get your priorities right in that are you going to continue to appease Ali by constantly listening to him backbiting and slandering Abdullah or are you going to take the step to cut it off completely? If after giving him much advice he still persists then it is far better for you to stay away from such people who backbite and slander and spew hatred about other Muslims unjustifiably.
So you have to be absolutely firm with him from now onwards that you refuse to listen to anymore backbiting or slander if you are to continue talking to him. Is it really worth constantly getting a great deal of sin for having to listen to his persistent backbiting and slander?
Therefore if after you advised him and reminded him about the harms of backbiting and slandering and he still insists in continuing to backbite and slander then you must stop talking to him so as to make it clear to him that you do not approve of such an approach and behaviour until he changes and corrects himself. Regardless of how difficult it maybe it's down to you to take this step as protecting your imaan and your relationship with Allah is far more important than anyone or anything else.
You should also make it clear to him that you are not siding with anyone but that you do not want to displease Allah by constantly listening to backbiting and slander. Where would you rather appease? Ali or Almighty Allah? .
Unfortunately many people have a very destructive habit of backbiting, slandering and having unsubstantiated suspicions against others. They are in the habit of just complaining about others rather than looking at themselves in the mirror. If it's not about one person then it will be about another.
So remind Ali about the harms of suspicion, backbiting and slander and particularly of the rights of neighbors and how we should have good relations and be patient and not allow shaythan to create enmity into the hearts of two Muslim neighbors. If he continues then it is down to you to back off from him due to his insistence on sinning.
Finally the only way to resolve this issue between both parties is to firstly establish whether they both want to resolve it in the first place and then secondly to meditate between them. It is better to get an elder, respected and knowledgeable person to do this, whom you think both parties would listen to in order to mediate the issues between them.
May Allah enable us all all to rid our hearts of suspicion, enmity and hatred from our hearts and join us all in love peace and harmony. Ameen.