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Studentofdeed
06-09-2020, 08:54 AM
there is alot of corruption in my mosque. I believe my imam is the result of that. He refuses to address many issues and is complacent in the community. Too be honest It seems he is interested in serving himself. He says he has been proud to be imam over for long time but now I do not see it as accomplishment but a horror the community went over. There have been many racist incidents against me. I complained to the imam, which he ignored and accused me of being sensitive and said it was all in my head. I then had a revert friend who had complaints of racism. The imam said he was sensitive too. My friend is a revert and his family and him stopped going to the mosque as result of the harassment. I asked the imam if he could atleast give a khutba and tell the people it is against Islam. The imam refused and said he went through many khutbas talking of equality but never specifics. Even now when he gave a khutba about discrimination. It was only because of the protests not because it was needed. His khutba was not specific and short and did not tell the people to behave. Not making accusations but to make people aware that it is not a light issue. Not to mention, a known sex offender and pedophile came in the mosque where he manipulated one of the revert kids with him to go. When the he came back, the imam blamed the poor revert kid and said it was his fault. Alhamdullah nothing happened to him. But the imam again did not do anything and allowed that sex offender to come. I have forgiven him of all the offenses against me. But honestly how can my community thrive when there is a selfish corrupt man refusing to address the issues or fix them? He is afraid to offend the people because he is paid by them. Him being a hafiz and so called man of God. Should he not be.mpre scared and concerned? I'm disgusted and now I am in a dilemma. Every time I complain him of an issue, I'm gaslighted and he throws it under the rug. Should I speak to him again or should I go directly to the board? I fear the board may not take me seriously.
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Studentofdeed
06-09-2020, 09:05 AM
Or do you guys think I should just ignore it and stay quiet? Am I being too sensitive?
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Al-Ansariyah
06-09-2020, 12:23 PM
Assalamualaikum
Listen, try all the ways by which you can stop this, if it doesn't work then it's better to hush down. As we people haven't observed the imam, we don't have any right to judge him but if YOU really think he's wrong, then know that it's the sign of qiyamah that power will be given in the hands of ignorants.
Prophet(pbuh) said "Whoever among you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand [by taking action]; if he cannot, then with his tongue [by speaking out]; and if he cannot, then with his heart [by at least hating it and believing that it is wrong], and that is the weakest of faith.” (MUSLIM).
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Supernova
06-09-2020, 01:29 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
there is alot of corruption in my mosque. I believe my imam is the result of that. He refuses to address many issues and is complacent in the community. Too be honest It seems he is interested in serving himself. He says he has been proud to be imam over for long time but now I do not see it as accomplishment but a horror the community went over. There have been many racist incidents against me. I complained to the imam, which he ignored and accused me of being sensitive and said it was all in my head. I then had a revert friend who had complaints of racism. The imam said he was sensitive too. My friend is a revert and his family and him stopped going to the mosque as result of the harassment. I asked the imam if he could atleast give a khutba and tell the people it is against Islam. The imam refused and said he went through many khutbas talking of equality but never specifics. Even now when he gave a khutba about discrimination. It was only because of the protests not because it was needed. His khutba was not specific and short and did not tell the people to behave. Not making accusations but to make people aware that it is not a light issue. Not to mention, a known sex offender and pedophile came in the mosque where he manipulated one of the revert kids with him to go. When the he came back, the imam blamed the poor revert kid and said it was his fault. Alhamdullah nothing happened to him. But the imam again did not do anything and allowed that sex offender to come. I have forgiven him of all the offenses against me. But honestly how can my community thrive when there is a selfish corrupt man refusing to address the issues or fix them? He is afraid to offend the people because he is paid by them. Him being a hafiz and so called man of God. Should he not be.mpre scared and concerned? I'm disgusted and now I am in a dilemma. Every time I complain him of an issue, I'm gaslighted and he throws it under the rug. Should I speak to him again or should I go directly to the board? I fear the board may not take me seriously.
Asalaamualaykum:

I dont understand the story here, at times you referring to this as an individual victim, then other times you portraying this as others see it the same way you do.

If others are seeing the same thing as you then :
a) Why you approaching him alone ?
b) Why would you think the board will not take you seriously ?
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Studentofdeed
06-09-2020, 01:37 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Supernova
Asalaamualaykum:

I dont understand the story here, at times you referring to this as an individual victim, then other times you portraying this as others see it the same way you do.

If others are seeing the same thing as you then :
a) Why you approaching him alone ?
b) Why would you think the board will not take you seriously ?
I am saying he is complacent against racism and harassnent in the community. Which can be dangerous for the reverts and new Muslims. He refuses to also address many issues in the community in fear of offending the people. No majority of people do not see these issues because in my opinion, they are the majority race and do not realize or care about their actions. Board will not take me seriously because I am young. Young people are disregarded and seen as overexcited and hotheaded
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Studentofdeed
06-09-2020, 01:41 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by medico
Assalamualaikum
Listen, try all the ways by which you can stop this, if it doesn't work then it's better to hush down. As we people haven't observed the imam, we don't have any right to judge him but if YOU really think he's wrong, then know that it's the sign of qiyamah that power will be given in the hands of ignorants.
Prophet(pbuh) said "Whoever among you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand [by taking action]; if he cannot, then with his tongue [by speaking out]; and if he cannot, then with his heart [by at least hating it and believing that it is wrong], and that is the weakest of faith.” (MUSLIM).
Jazakallah Khayran. Do you think I'm being impatient or sensitive? So you think I should stay quiet then? I feel frustrated and angry. I mean I did not meant to judge but this was a serious issue. A community should have its issues addressed. Idk...
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Al-Ansariyah
06-09-2020, 02:08 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
Jazakallah Khayran. Do you think I'm being impatient or sensitive? So you think I should stay quiet then? I feel frustrated and angry. I mean I did not meant to judge but this was a serious issue. A community should have its issues addressed. Idk...
No you aren't. It's actually good that you dislike something which is wrong. You should take action against it. That's what Hadith says. Try to approach the authorities,if you aren't considered there then it's not your fault. After that you should speak up against that. If it doesn't work, then just leave the issue and know that it's wrong and keep hate for it in your heart.
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Supernova
06-09-2020, 03:13 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
I am saying he is complacent against racism and harassnent in the community. Which can be dangerous for the reverts and new Muslims. He refuses to also address many issues in the community in fear of offending the people. No majority of people do not see these issues because in my opinion, they are the majority race and do not realize or care about their actions. Board will not take me seriously because I am young. Young people are disregarded and seen as overexcited and hotheaded
You still never answer either question that i asked...
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Studentofdeed
06-09-2020, 04:46 PM
I did? I said they wouldn't see me seriously because I am young. Which question are you referring to?
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Supernova
06-09-2020, 05:17 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
I did? I said they wouldn't see me seriously because I am young. Which question are you referring to?
A and B , Scroll up and read it again then read your answer again - then put on your thinking cap and read it all over again for good measure.
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Studentofdeed
06-09-2020, 06:48 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Supernova
A and B , Scroll up and read it again then read your answer again - then put on your thinking cap and read it all over again for good measure.
a) Why you approaching him alone ?

I am trying to give him the benefit of doubt and because I respect him. It would be highly disrespectful going over his head without atleast confronting him or giving him a chance to fix it.


b) Why would you think the board will not take you seriously ?

The board is mostly older men of that majority race. Because I am a minority and still young, people will push me away. A young person's words are never given much thought to.
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Iceee
06-10-2020, 12:45 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
Not to mention, a known sex offender and pedophile came in the mosque where he manipulated one of the revert kids with him to go. When the he came back, the imam blamed the poor revert kid and said it was his fault. Alhamdullah nothing happened to him. But the imam again did not do anything and allowed that sex offender to come.
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
b) Why would you think the board will not take you seriously ?

The board is mostly older men of that majority race. Because I am a minority and still young, people will push me away. A young person's words are never given much thought to.
Salaam Brother,

Again, you asked. And we are here to listen and help as much as we could.

1. When you see a crime, we should find the courage to report it, no matter how small or little it is or it seems, it's best to tell someone. If you would like, you are always welcome to call the police, or more specifically, the non-emergency number to report the sex offender incident. It might seem too late, but it's clearly bothering you, and best to do it sooner rather than later and continue to regret these decisions. If you don't, something terribly worst can happen.

2. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. You went to the Imam and tried to talk, it didn't work, so you must go for the next option. Go to the board as soon as possible and inform them of your experiences. It might seem to be a waste of time, but again, this is clearly bothering you, enough for you to make a thread about this. So go for it! Don't let anyone stop you. It doesn't matter how young, weak, sad you are. Don''t let that get in your way to bring justice. GO NOW.

3. I've read many of your threads brother. If all of these incidents are from this same particular masjid, it seems to be causing you many problems. Firstly, make lots of dua that things change in this masjid. But rather than posting about this mosque, it's best to leave it. If there's another mosque, go to that one even if it's further away. DO NOT contact the Imam, do not go near that mosque, do not volunteer and leave the thoughts in your mind. It's better to stay at home and make dua, pray 5 times a day and read Quran at home rather than go to a place that is causing you so much mental health problems.

Do not ignore this, it's hurting your mind! You keep writing about this masjid and Imam. Allah Subhanahuwatallah will help you Inshallah. But you must help yourself. So do the things I mentioned, Inshallah your mental health will slowly get better. Remember to exercise daily, diet, and drink lots of water.
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Studentofdeed
06-10-2020, 01:10 AM
Jazakallah Khayran. I am glad you see where alot of my frustration stems from. May Allah bless you in both worlds. I will heed your advice
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whitedove
06-15-2020, 06:30 AM
Iceee, gave the perfect and best response and mirrored exactly what I was thinking. I have been meaning to participate but haven't had the time. You have done all you can, speak to the board, make sure you are heard for the sake of perhaps others not going through the same and then look elsewhere. Don't let this experience with the Muslim community dishearten you. When I was 11 years old I was molested in a mosque, by an Islamic teacher, who also substituted for the Imam sometimes. I was just a kid. It was very awkward for me to tell my parents, and being just a kid it was an embarrassing subject that I had no clue how to approach. I ended up confiding in a lady there at the mosque who helped me. This could have tarnished my eagerness to ever step foot in a mosque again, but luckily it didn't as Iove my religion and I understood that it was 1 bad man. Once I was older and when I began my journey in practising at 21, the mosques I went to all were all amazing, I met nothing but the kindest, most lovely sisters, all so willing to help, went out of their way for each other, the encouragement to help each other learn both in the mosque and out of the mosque. It really shaped my love for the deen. I was very lucky in having had really really good experiences and for me anytime I'm at mosque I feel nothing but pure peace and closeness to Allah but it's even more empowering when you are around good Muslims. I highly recommend Regents Park mosque in central London, Al Muntada in Parsons Green. I know Finsbury Park has mixed reviews but my experiences there have all been very good. Anyway please go to a mosque that you feel happy and supported in. What that mosque is doing ( you mention favouritism in race) is wrong and that is not Islam, rather they seem to be acting culturally. Real Islam is being welcomed and celebrating together in unity of our worshipping, irrespective of any other factors such as race. As you can see here, everyone here is offers genuine and caring advice toward one another and I do have to say this app is such a great idea, I really admire and commend the creators. It is nice to have a platform where positivity for Muslims can be shared all in one place.
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whitedove
06-15-2020, 06:37 AM
To conclude - say something to board so you have peace of mind and in your conscious you are free from any guilt in not having stood up for your feelings. And then wipe the slate clean in moving forward ; find a mosque which you find more supportive. In fact the good mosques will be happy to have your feedback especially from the youth because it portrays that you care. The youth of course is the future so they should be and usually are willing to listen to the topics that affect you. Good luck. Inchallah will work out better for you.
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Studentofdeed
06-15-2020, 12:04 PM
Jazakallah Khayran sister
Your advice means alot. And I m truly sorry to hear about what happened to you. No one deserves that. May Allah bless you sith the best of both worlds
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Eric H
06-15-2020, 07:26 PM
Greetings and peace be with you whitedove, thanks for sharing your story,

format_quote Originally Posted by whitedove
When I was 11 years old I was molested in a mosque, by an Islamic teacher,
You have every right to feel angry, especially if the abuser has not been punished. But anger eats away at your soul, it stops you being the kind and caring person that you want to be. The person who angers you, controls you. It is like they have a remote control that makes you feel and do things that you do not want to do, they keep pressing your buttons every day. You are continuing to give your abuser power to keep hurting you

I listened to Glen tell his story. He had grown up with David Beckham, and they had both been signed up to play football with Leighton Orient. He had a life of fame and fortune ahead of him. Shortly after he went to a night club and was stabbed in the back and beaten up. He spent a year in hospital and has been paralysed from the waist down; he has been in a wheelchair for the last 27 years. They caught the man who did this, he served four years in prison, he was then able to walk out of prison on his own two feet, and justice had been served.

By this time, Glen had learned to drive a disabled taxi, he tracked down his assailant, and then stalked him with the intention of running him over. Glen saw an opportunity to run his attacker down, but something stopped him. He said he came to understand that true justice could not happen. Justice is not that two people should be crippled, rather, it is that neither of them should be crippled. He knew he could never turn back time. He came to understand that he had to let go of his hatred; if not, he would become worse than his assailant.

He said he has to live with two diseases, being crippled, and the greater disease was the hate burning away inside him. Forgiveness and letting go of the hatred was a gradual process for his own benefit, his wheelchair has been a daily reminder of the past injustice.

Glen goes round the country talking about the need to forgive and let go of anger, and striving to be the kind and caring person that you want to be.

May Allah bless you with a peace that surpasses all understanding,
Eric
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whitedove
06-17-2020, 01:30 AM
Thankyou for that story and it can be useful to all of us ; at some point we will all experience that feeling of wanting justice to be served whether on a small or larger scale. In my particular case, I was just a child and I do not feel anger because it is now such a vague and distant snippet. Hamdullah it didn't go far ( perhaps due to him being exposed early on). But I do feel disappointment with myself that later on as an adult when I had found out he had gone on to open his own Arabic school, I did nothing. I had the intention of doing something about it, but ultimately in the end I didn't. So I feel that responsibility was on my shoulders. I am referring to being responsible for other victims. I would hold some blame for that and that is the truth. So that is more an emotion toward myself, not him. However I appreciate your story for separate circumstance because at one point I struggled with forgiveness ( in forgiving those say who are close to us, because betrayal coming from family or our dearest friends for example affect us more and it can be harder to let that go ) and it is a topic in Islam I was trying to read about in order that I can try to apply. I know that we must forgive as Muslims or that it is best to ( in the same manner that we would want to be forgiven by Allah for our sins). But with maturity comes the ability to do that more easily. So Jazakallah khayran for the input. Anyway I only brought up that example up to point out that a bad experience at one mosque shouldn't deter us, every other mosque I have ever been to has been amazing with sincere and good Muslims. Those offering advice to the opening post are right, say something to the board, so you have no regrets which is harder to live with, but then move onto another mosque where your experience will be better and more cherished.
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