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Studentofdeed
07-09-2020, 04:32 AM
I apologize. It was a moment of weakness. Please forgive me. I was not trying to cause fitna. Jazkhallah Khayran, May Allah bless you all
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HowManyMore
07-09-2020, 07:47 AM
You might use psychiatric help. Depression is a real thing.

Allah knows what is best for you.

We aren't prohibited from defending ourselves.

If people abuse you and they call themselves Muslims you can advise them as they are harming themselves. You can ask scholars about the impermissablity of the things they do or say, and provide the scholarly answer to those who abuse you.

If your parents are abusing you, you should also look for scholarly advice (in case you haven't yet) on how you should treat them.

When you obey Allah, you will be rewarded for your patience, in sha Allah.

https://youtu.be/D0ZAlsKtwew
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SoldierAmatUllah
07-09-2020, 11:58 AM
Can anyone post Ahadeeth on duhayma?,esp as it states a person will be momin in morning & kafir in evening & until people are divided into 2 camps .1 of nifaq & other of pure imaan

Listen bro,we got to go on hoping.I have had & still under much trials,I have had episodes of extreme illness,fears,heartbreak & played with my imaan
Horrible mess.But I know that it's a test thru duhayma fitan Ahadeeth.

Don't talk of Allah in any disrespectful way.I a hoping with confidence that you shouldn't give up.you're strong bro that's why such big tests


Hopefully you ask Allah for a sign thru day & night dua for motivation? MAYBE?

Allah wants us to read Quran &it will be very beneficial as it's shifa for both spiritual & physical diseases.InshaAllah,the doors will open
Reply

'Abdullah
07-09-2020, 02:51 PM
Wa Alaikum Assalam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu Brother,

I have been member of this forum for almost a year now and have been reading your posts. People have given you advices through Quran and Hadith several times and seems like the problems are still there and getting worse day by day. It appears the issue is deeper and you should seek a professional's help regarding your psychological issues as soon as possible.

And Allah knows the best & may Allah make things easy for you brother. Ameen!

Ma'aSalaam
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Hamza Asadullah
07-09-2020, 04:20 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
assalmu Alaykum...im back. Im going to say things that may be displeasing. Please forgive me but im really struggling.

I'm trying hard to keep faith but I'm losing it. I honestly do not feel like I can go any further. I have been disappointed and hurt. People have harmed me, in retaliation I stay quiet simply to please Allah. Idk if this a test or punishment. I remember making dua for something that I wanted since I was a little boy. It was literally almost within my grasp. I thought my dua was finally going to come true. A dua that I made in front of the kabah. It was everything I wanted, only it was ripped before I even got a chance. I was so let down and shocked. I made this dua in front of the kabah, I thought it would have been accepted. Instead my hopes were and dreams were played. I'm trying not to be angry with Allah, but how he can play with my wishes and dreams. Why should I even bother making dua? So many times I stayed away from haram for the sake of him and he doesnt even care?? People told me be grateful that Allah gave you second chance in life, but ever since I got my "second chance" my life is been so crappy. Mocked and humialted at every turn. Why didn't he just let me die when I was dying? Why let me live only for me to suffer more?

My family call me a hypocrtie on a consecutive daily basis based on every mistake I do.i can no longer give them their rights or control my anger. I have no hope or mercy in Allah. I have severally lost faith and no longer have any hope in the future. The only thing I can look for is my death. If im a hypocrite, why should I even try then? Why not kill myself so I can go to hell if thats what Allah wants for me? Why does he torture me like this? I used to to think all of this was a test but honestly there is no more hope for anything..
Assalaamu Alaikum,

My brother it is difficult to give specific advice if you don't expand on exactly what kind of issues you are facing from people and from family and what is it that you mentioned you desired most and it was not given to you? Surely Allah knows best in all matters and so he withheld it from you for a good reason either to test your patience or that it may have harmed you in the long run. Allah is all knowing and his knowledge is infinite whereas our knowledge is very narrow and limited and finite therefore what we perceive is good for us may not be.
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Avis
07-09-2020, 06:41 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
assalmu Alaykum...im back. Im going to say things that may be displeasing. Please forgive me but im really struggling.

I'm trying hard to keep faith but I'm losing it. I honestly do not feel like I can go any further. I have been disappointed and hurt. People have harmed me, in retaliation I stay quiet simply to please Allah. Idk if this a test or punishment. I remember making dua for something that I wanted since I was a little boy. It was literally almost within my grasp. I thought my dua was finally going to come true. A dua that I made in front of the kabah. It was everything I wanted, only it was ripped before I even got a chance. I was so let down and shocked. I made this dua in front of the kabah, I thought it would have been accepted. Instead my hopes were and dreams were played. I'm trying not to be angry with Allah, but how he can play with my wishes and dreams. Why should I even bother making dua? So many times I stayed away from haram for the sake of him and he doesnt even care?? People told me be grateful that Allah gave you second chance in life, but ever since I got my "second chance" my life is been so crappy. Mocked and humialted at every turn. Why didn't he just let me die when I was dying? Why let me live only for me to suffer more?

My family call me a hypocrtie on a consecutive daily basis based on every mistake I do.i can no longer give them their rights or control my anger. I have no hope or mercy in Allah. I have severally lost faith and no longer have any hope in the future. The only thing I can look for is my death. If im a hypocrite, why should I even try then? Why not kill myself so I can go to hell if thats what Allah wants for me? Why does he torture me like this? I used to to think all of this was a test but honestly there is no more hope for anything..
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
assalmu Alaykum...im back. Im going to say things that may be displeasing. Please forgive me but im really struggling.

I'm trying hard to keep faith but I'm losing it. I honestly do not feel like I can go any further. I have been disappointed and hurt. People have harmed me, in retaliation I stay quiet simply to please Allah. Idk if this a test or punishment. I remember making dua for something that I wanted since I was a little boy. It was literally almost within my grasp. I thought my dua was finally going to come true. A dua that I made in front of the kabah. It was everything I wanted, only it was ripped before I even got a chance. I was so let down and shocked. I made this dua in front of the kabah, I thought it would have been accepted. Instead my hopes were and dreams were played. I'm trying not to be angry with Allah, but how he can play with my wishes and dreams. Why should I even bother making dua? So many times I stayed away from haram for the sake of him and he doesnt even care?? People told me be grateful that Allah gave you second chance in life, but ever since I got my "second chance" my life is been so crappy. Mocked and humialted at every turn. Why didn't he just let me die when I was dying? Why let me live only for me to suffer more?

My family call me a hypocrtie on a consecutive daily basis based on every mistake I do.i can no longer give them their rights or control my anger. I have no hope or mercy in Allah. I have severally lost faith and no longer have any hope in the future. The only thing I can look for is my death. If im a hypocrite, why should I even try then? Why not kill myself so I can go to hell if thats what Allah wants for me? Why does he torture me like this? I used to to think all of this was a test but honestly there is no more hope for anything..
:wasalamex

In the day and age we live in, holding on to faith can feel like holding on to hot coal for those who already have weak faith. You need to understand that Allah gave you the gift of Islam and you should appreciate it with every ounce of your being. Islam is the only thing that matters in this life and the next. NOTHING ELSE MATTERS!


I used to think like you, why should I obey Allah if He never gives me what I ask? Why should I perform Salat for Allah when He never responds? Why should I worship Allah when all He does is make me suffer? I was in a terrible and rebellious state and I passed the threshold of Islam and entered Kufr by ceasing to do my Salat. From there life never got better, I was empty on the inside, I had no good friends, actually, I was alone. I told myself that I don't need anyone, that if I worked hard, I would be able to do anything on my own. How wrong I was.

The truth is, no one can do anything without Allah's permission. Allah gave us life and a good chance at eternal happiness and the path to it is rather easy. Trust in Allah. During my days of kufr, somehow I stopped being angry all the time and slowly I started to realize that everything I earned wasn't through my own effort or intelligence, it was given to me by Allah's Mercy. I recently realized that Allah was guiding me back to Islam and I am forever thankful.

What is life without Islam? It is basically fleeting moments of joy with extended times of agony. It is even worse for those who know Islam is correct but refuse to follow it. How can the creation be happy to live by ignoring their Creator or being ungrateful to them and ending the gift of life that was granted to them? Why should Allah grant the request of anyone who doesn't obey Him? Heck, why should Allah grant the request of those who do obey Him? He is the Creator and doesn't owe us anything. We owe everything to Him.

He granted us life, which is a chance to go to Heaven. He granted us clean air to breath, eyes to see with, ears to hear with, skin to feel with, a tongue to taste with and limbs to move with. If He so chose, He could have created you with no arms or legs and you'd have no right to complain since you never did anything to deserve them in the first place.

You accuse Allah of playing with your wishes and dreams! That is a horrible way to think of Allah. He isn't playing games with you. He gives you what he decrees is best for you. It is the Shaytaan that is whispering into your ear, making you think ill of Allah and is trying to get you to give up and commit suicide. That is his ultimate victory! If you end your life, you doom yourself to Hell where you will continuously kill yourself and be remade over and over. The thought of you suffering in Hell brings the Shaytaan joy and you are letting him win by thinking ill of Allah. Don't let him win, always realize that Allah wants best for His slaves.

You are not a hypocrite. If you were, you wouldn't be here asking for advice. That alone is evidence that you still have hope and faith. Allah is not torturing you, He is just testing you. You are just failing the test by giving up. Tests are meant to make you stronger and bring you closer to Allah. They're meant to make you think of what is really important in life and to give you a chance to be patient and trust in your Creator. They are also a means for Allah to erase your sins and to increase your good deeds. You just need to realize that what you are going through is temporary and make it through to the end. Allah didn't send us to earth to give us an easy life, the whole purpose of all of this is to be tested, to act as evidence for why we go to Hell or Heaven.

Right now you are obsessing over the wrong things, who cares if your family call you a hypocrite, they don't know what is in your heart. The only thing you owe your family is respect and upholding familial ties with them while making sure your parents are okay, even if they don't appreciate it. People have harmed you, so what? What have they done that is so bad that you need to obsess about all the time. You seem to think about them more than you remember Allah. Maybe that is why you are struggling. You need to break ties to people who constantly harm up, hurt your feelings, back bite you, put you down, or just make you feel terrible. You need to remove yourself from all negative aspects in order to see an improvement in your life. If you see them at the Masjid, say Salam and walk past them and sit up front near the Imam to avoid talking to them. The second the Salah is over, leave right away. Don't let them suck you in, only to bring you down. Their opinion of you doesn't matter, in fact you will get more good deeds by ignoring them while they keep getting bad deeds.

As for the thing you wanted since you were a little boy, you are not entitled to it. Allah does not owe anything to you, it is the other way around, you owe everything to Allah. Maybe if Allah gave it to you now, you'd fall off the path of Islam? Did you think about that? Maybe giving you what you wanted would make your life more difficult in the long run, but you cannot see it yet since you can't tell the future? Maybe it just isn't the right time for it and Allah is holding it for a better time. Asking for it in front of the Kaaba doesn't make your request any more special than anyone else's request.

I have multiple requests since I was a child that I haven't gotten yet, and they were the reason why I left Islam. I still didn't get them when I did, instead, life just got worse. I now realize that I really don't need them. All I need is Allah's Love and Mercy and that is all you need as well. One of my requests was a big deal to me. I don't like discussing it because people would treat me or look at me differently , but since this is the internet, no one knows me so it's okay.I have had same sex attraction since I was a child, perhaps as young as being 8 or 9. I didn't understand it at the time, but I knew not to discuss it with anyone, yet people still made fun of me because my mannerisms wasn't the same as everyone else. As I grew up, I got better at hiding it by being a recluse. I understood how bad it was during my teens and asked Allah to take the feelings that I had away from me. Why couldn't I be normal? Why couldn't I have a life like everyone else? I'm 36 now and still have these attractions. I used to hate Allah (astaghfurallah) for creating me this way, but I learned that Allah didn't make me this way, He created me with a clean slate. It was my environment at home that has caused me to deviate. My mother used to walk around naked, which made me lose all attraction to girls. I was the middle child with 4 sisters, so I had no male counterparts to play with since my father was hardly ever home. Media and the internet didn't help.

How do you think I felt when I realized that I'd never be able to get married and have a proper relationship with a woman and have children while I have these corrupt feelings? I got rebellious and angry. Now I realize how stupid I was and how worthless all my anger has been. So what if I never marry! As long as Allah forgives me my sins and grants me His Mercy and permits me to Jannah, I can live alone forever. This is just my test and I hope to pass it, Inshallah. And don't think this test is easy, it isn't. You know how you have to lower your gaze when you see a woman? I have to do the same for men, even though I am a man. I have to control my thoughts when I shake hands with a man, I have to be careful when I go to the Masjid and lower my gaze so I don't look at any man that I may be attracted to and lose all concentration during worship. I have to keep men at a distance so I don't fall into sin with them, even if they don't have the same feelings, I just can't take the chance. So, basically, I am alone. I am 99% sure that my family suspects that I am this way, but thankfully they don't discuss it, which is what I'd prefer.

I used to worry so much about not being like everyone else. All of my classmates have gotten married, had kids, and successful careers while I am stuck alone and in poverty. I would get so jealous when I'd see others living their lives and I'd beg Allah to change mine, yet He didn't. I'm close to 40 which is considered old where I am from, so people are naturally suspicious about why I am not married. So I avoid all social gatherings in order to not deal with their inquiries of me and marriage. In the end, Allah gave me something better than what I had asked for, He gave me understanding.

I now understand that Allah is the Best of Planners. That I wanted all the wrong things in life and never focused on what is truly important. Maybe if I didn't have these feelings, I would have done haram things with a girl and gotten her pregnant out of wedlock? Maybe I would have gotten a disease that would have made my life much worse? Maybe everything I went through in life was only to make me smarter and to realize that all of it is only temporary. I realize now that love for Allah and Jannah is all I really want. I realized that Allah has actually protected me many, many times in my past, when He could have easily led me to suffer much more than I did. For some of the stuff I did, if He didn't hide it for me, I could have went to prison or just ostracized by my community. Yes, I'd like some nice things here, but it's okay if I don't get them, I'll get better things in the next life. My Iman is still not where I want it to be, but I'm taking it one step at a time.

Think about it this way, if Allah sent you an Angel with two options- Option "A" being the thing you wanted since you were a boy, and option "B" is Jannah, which one would you want? Is option "A" really worth throwing your whole life away for?
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Studentofdeed
07-09-2020, 06:52 PM
I apologize. It was a moment of weakness. Please forgive me. I was not trying to cause fitna. Jazkhallah Khayran, May Allah bless you all


Last edited by Studentofdeed; 1 Minute Ago at 06:52 PM.
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Studentofdeed
07-09-2020, 07:10 PM
Jazkhallah Khayran Brother. Your words were powerful. I apologize, again. I realyl am sorry. Your words have moved me and helped. I realize I shouldn't have complained. May Allah bless you and make it easy for you. Please forgive me brother
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'Abdullah
07-09-2020, 07:20 PM
Abu Hurairah said; His companion came to him and said; Messenger of Allah! We have thoughts which we cannot dare talk about and we do not like that we have them or talk about them. He said:
Have you experienced that? They replied: yes. He said : that is clear faith.

حَدَّثَنَا أَحْمَدُ بْنُ يُونُسَ، حَدَّثَنَا زُهَيْرٌ، حَدَّثَنَا سُهَيْلٌ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ جَاءَهُ نَاسٌ مِنْ أَصْحَابِهِ فَقَالُوا يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ نَجِدُ فِي أَنْفُسِنَا الشَّىْءَ نُعْظِمُ أَنْ نَتَكَلَّمَ بِهِ أَوِ الْكَلاَمَ بِهِ مَا نُحِبُّ أَنَّ لَنَا وَأَنَّا تَكَلَّمْنَا بِهِ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ أَوَقَدْ وَجَدْتُمُوهُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالُوا نَعَمْ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ ذَاكَ صَرِيحُ الإِيمَانِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏
Grade: Sahih (Al-Albani)
Reference: Sunan Abi Dawud 5111
In-book reference: Book 43, Hadith 339
English translation: Book 42, Hadith 5092
https://sunnah.com/abudawud/43/339

It is narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira that some people from amongst the Companions of the Apostle (ﷺ) came to him and said:
Verily we perceive in our minds that which every one of us considers it too grave to express. He (the Holy Prophet) said: Do you really perceive it? They said: Yes. Upon this he remarked: That is the faith manifest.

حَدَّثَنِي زُهَيْرُ بْنُ حَرْبٍ، حَدَّثَنَا جَرِيرٌ، عَنْ سُهَيْلٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ جَاءَ نَاسٌ مِنْ أَصْحَابِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَسَأَلُوهُ إِنَّا نَجِدُ فِي أَنْفُسِنَا مَا يَتَعَاظَمُ أَحَدُنَا أَنْ يَتَكَلَّمَ بِهِ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ وَقَدْ وَجَدْتُمُوهُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالُوا نَعَمْ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ ذَاكَ صَرِيحُ الإِيمَانِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏
Reference: Sahih Muslim 132 a
In-book reference: Book 1, Hadith 247
USC-MSA web (English) reference: Book 1, Hadith 239
https://sunnah.com/muslim/1/247

Imam Al-Nawawi said in his commentary on above hadeeth:
The Prophet’s words, ‘That is a clear sign of faith’ means, the fact they think of this waswaas as something terrible is a clear sign of faith, for if you dare not utter it and you are so afraid of it and of speaking of it, let alone believing it, this is the sign of one who has achieved perfect faith and who is free of doubt.
Shaytaan only whispers to those whom he despairs of tempting, because he is unable to tempt them. As for the non-Muslims, he can approach them in any manner he wants and is not restricted to waswaas, rather he can play with them however he wants. Based on this, what the hadeeth means is that the cause of waswaas is pure faith, or that waswaas is a sign of pure faith.
The fact that one hates waswasas and that one's heart recoils from it is a clear sign of faith. Waswaas happens to everyone who turns to Allah by reciting dhikr etc. It is inevitable, but you have to be steadfast and patient, and persevere with your dhikr and prayer, and not give up, because in this way you will ward off the plot of the Shaytaan.
Indeed, the plot of Satan has ever been weak[Quran 4:76]
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Avis
07-09-2020, 08:09 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
Jazkhallah Khayran Brother. Your words were powerful. I apologize, again. I realyl am sorry. Your words have moved me and helped. I realize I shouldn't have complained. May Allah bless you and make it easy for you. Please forgive me brother
Brother, don't be sorry for seeking advice and support. We are Muslims, we are supposed to want the best for each other and prop up each other during the good and bad times. There is nothing to forgive, you did a good thing by coming here and sharing your troubles.

I meant to ask you in my earlier post but I got caught up in sharing my own issues and forgot but, how practicing are you?

Do you pray all of you Salat, especially Fajr, on time?

Do you make sure to be on proper wudu?

Do you fast all of Ramadan?

Do you stay away from Major Haram things such as Riba or Zina?

Do you pay Zakat?

Do you read Quran every day? Do you try to memorize it?

Do you remember Allah during good times?

Do you remember that Allah is with you in bad times and is only testing your patience and reliance on him?

Are you watching movies or shows that contain music, uncovered women and men that contain haram stories and lewd scenes?

Are you staying away from pornography?

Do you gossip or backbite anyone?

Is your job Halal?

Are you wasting time with video games, where most are life movies and shows and depict haram things such as uncovered people, violence and shirk?

Do you surround yourself with bad people who don't practice Islam properly and cause you to lose faith? I know from a past post of yours that you have two people who put you down, you need to get rid of them since friends don't put friends down, they're supposed to help and encourage you.

Ask these questions to yourself, you don't have to share the answers to us. It is just for you to reflect on how you can improve who you are and realize what is important in life.

Remember that this world and everything in it is worth less than a mosquito's wing to Allah. That everything you go through here is temporary. That even if you have gotten everything you wanted, you will never be truly happy until you fix your Iman and love Allah more than you love anyone or anything else. Don't expect your faith to get better overnight, only really special people get that. For the majority of mankind, it is a life long journey. Take it one step at a time. Start with your Salah. Make sure that you pray it on time and make sure you do a good and proper wudu. Once you get good with it and start feeling a connection with Allah, start fasting once or twice a week on Monday and Thursdays to help increase in your good deeds, to strengthen your patience, and to bring you closer to Allah. Make sure you stay away from Major Sins such as Riba and Zina to the best of your ability. Even if you slip up, immediately repent to Allah and ask for forgiveness.

I also recommend a YouTube channel called FreeQuranEducation. It is really good to watch and slowly increase your Iman.
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Studentofdeed
07-09-2020, 09:25 PM
Jazakallah Khayran brother i will apply your advice for sure. May Allah bless you in both worlds
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Avis
07-10-2020, 01:37 AM
I just found this video from my daily YouTubing and figured that it would be good for you. The speaker discusses why we go through hardships and makes a lot of sense. May it help strengthen your Iman.

Reply

Iceee
07-10-2020, 02:27 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
assalmu Alaykum...im back. Im going to say things that may be displeasing. Please forgive me but im really struggling.

I'm trying hard to keep faith but I'm losing it. I honestly do not feel like I can go any further. I have been disappointed and hurt. People have harmed me, in retaliation I stay quiet simply to please Allah. Idk if this a test or punishment. I remember making dua for something that I wanted since I was a little boy. It was literally almost within my grasp. I thought my dua was finally going to come true. A dua that I made in front of the kabah. It was everything I wanted, only it was ripped before I even got a chance. I was so let down and shocked. I made this dua in front of the kabah, I thought it would have been accepted. Instead my hopes were and dreams were played. I'm trying not to be angry with Allah, but how he can play with my wishes and dreams. Why should I even bother making dua? So many times I stayed away from haram for the sake of him and he doesnt even care?? People told me be grateful that Allah gave you second chance in life, but ever since I got my "second chance" my life is been so crappy. Mocked and humialted at every turn. Why didn't he just let me die when I was dying? Why let me live only for me to suffer more?

My family call me a hypocrtie on a consecutive daily basis based on every mistake I do.i can no longer give them their rights or control my anger. I have no hope or mercy in Allah. I have severally lost faith and no longer have any hope in the future. The only thing I can look for is my death. If im a hypocrite, why should I even try then? Why not kill myself so I can go to hell if thats what Allah wants for me? Why does he torture me like this? I used to to think all of this was a test but honestly there is no more hope for anything..
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
It was a moment of weakness.
Salaam brother,

Firstly, I want you to read what YOU wrote down. Read it twice. It's important that this stays and you, as well as many others read it. Because many people, which includes yourself, are suffering through depression, a mental health issue. You are at the highest stage of depression, so close to suicide, and trying to die. Alhumdulillah, something stopped you from committing suicide.

Secondly, I wrote this on a former post you started. That you must seek professional help right away! You are at a severely high phase of depression. I asked you to see a therapist, counselor, someone skilled,, educated and knowledgeable about mental health issues to speak to. Tell me where you live, I will seek someone out for you! Because if you don't, this is what happens. Your emotions will come out hard, which has happened. You were vulnerable and almost lost your life.

And lastly, I ask you to first turn to Allah Subhanahuwatallah and pray for forgiveness. But also pray and make dua that you beat this depression that is causing you so much harm for the past few years of your life. Then please brother, seek professional help such as therapy, group therapy, and/or counselling. You need to sit down and talk to an expert right now! You were at the point of suicide, which is the most fatal. Please brother, seek help! Mental health issues need to be taken seriously and we need to combat the stigma around it. It's OKAY to seek help. Read below:

Medical treatment or seeking a cure is allowed, because of the report of Abu’l-Darda’ (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Allaah has sent down the disease and the cure, and has made for every disease the cure. So treat sickness, but do not use anything haraam’” (Reported by Abu Dawood, 3376),

“O Messenger of Allaah, should we not treat sickness?” He said: “Treat sickness, for Allaah has not created any disease except He has also created the cure, except for one disease.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, what is it?” He said: “Old age.”’” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi)
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Studentofdeed
07-10-2020, 03:34 AM
Jazakallah Khayran brother, but right now there is not good time due to the pandemic. My university has a health clinic for mental but its closed due to the virus. Coming here, helps alhamdullah. I never attempted alhamdullah but it was a health issue that resulted in my almost losing my life. But Alhamdullah im here. I apologize again. Jazakallah Khayran may Allah bless you in both worlds. Please keep me in your duas brother. Your words mean alot to me
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HowManyMore
07-10-2020, 10:40 AM
They don't wait for a good time to call an ambulance either.
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Iceee
07-10-2020, 07:25 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
My university has a health clinic
Salaam,

Not many people are sure how long it will take for schools to open up, with the pandemic still about. And even then, the amount of people who will flood this health clinic when it opens will be staggering. Many people, majority being students are suffering mentally and physically during this time. It's probably best to seek help from an open source as soon as possible. Look for places that are open and book an appointment as soon as possible. Before you hit your next low.

Depression comes in waves, you may seem fine right now, but you will continue to suffer without proper diagnosis and medication. I personally knew that this would happen, where the depression inside of you would manifest and come out, which it did when you created this post. Seek help immediately. If you cannot seek help, look up your city/countries Crisis Helpline and call them right away, Inshallah they may be able to help. Create a daily schedule and stick with it. Wake up early in the morning same time everyday, pray Fajr, eat breakfast, go outside for a walk, spend time cleaning your home, focus on praying 5 times a day and reciting Quran. Take a nap if needed. Stop spending time on social media, help family out, don't talk too much, and do many good deeds for your family and your community. Drink water only, exercise and create a natural diet.

I just returned from Jumah and the Imam did a quick lecture about the mental health issues people are suffering. Remember that you are loved by Allah and do not waver or turn away from Islam. Know that there's good things that happen in to you, and bad, it is all Allah's will. Appreciate the short life that we have in this world, don't take things for granted, love yourself and love Allah. Depression can affect anyone; young, old, single, married, non-muslims and even Muslims! We love you on this board, and we will miss you if you choose to leave, remember that!
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Studentofdeed
07-10-2020, 08:00 PM
Jazakallah Khayran brother, May Allah bless you all!
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589
07-10-2020, 10:22 PM
Salam
Although i am a new member, but i have been reading your posts for a quiet while now. Are you facing ALL the symptoms of Depression CONTINOUSLY for 2-3 weeks or it happens for few days,then you get normal,then again it starts? Because if you are facing the symptoms in days with a much interval,then it isn't Depression. And from whatever i read in your previous posts, you got better after getting advice or naturally ,stating it was a moment of weakness. So from my observations, i think there are times when we all get vulnerable and feel that we need someone to talk to and when we lose hope for a short time, so that's what we can relate to the OP. Whenever he felt weak, he chose to come here seeking advice or solution. The level of faith keeps on increasing and decreasing. Whenever it decreases, it's natural to feel vulnerable and that's what OP felt. He is courageous enough to come here to seek advice when he feels weak, Alhamdulillah.I could be wrong, correct me.
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HowManyMore
07-10-2020, 10:46 PM
I just hate it when people correlate depression and lack of faith.
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589
07-10-2020, 11:22 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by HowManyMore
I just hate it when people correlate depression and lack of faith.
Exactly. That's what i meant. But it's not lack of faith he has. It's just one of those times when the faith is at low level which is very natural.
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Studentofdeed
07-11-2020, 02:16 AM
Too be honest, it could be my lack of support and constant attacks from everyone that pushes my faith down. Im starting to realize is that I have no support system other than Islamicboard. Alot of it is due to my family making it impossible for me. I honestly do not know if this a punishment because I am not passing his test and reacting to my family's behavior or if it is test. My family are making it hard for me to practice. I explained that I wanted to go out further to maybe Canada for a good schools. They also have good health care plans. I am old enough to make my own decisions but out of respect I tell them. My mother istead was horrified with the idea. I am going to be the one paying for my education, not her. On top of that she always complains about my health issues blaming it on me for having them. Not realizing that I am the one is in "actual suffering" because I am the one who has it. Today she called me names and swore with lots of bad words. It honestly took every fiber in me not to make dua against her and my family. They arent practing, I understand but they should not stop me from practicing or atleast letting me emirgrant so I can survive and live out of my own life. Nonstop she called me spoiled bratt and you will fail. No job, noo success, all the psychological attacks and threats. First she tells me not to get a job because of my illness, then she blames me and says im lazy and she pays for me all the time. Now she is telling me to find a jb, after I turned down many people who offered to higher me. Right now I am studying for my medical exam and plan to leave so I can practice Islam in peace without attacks.

I thought maybe all of this low was coming because I stopped going to the mosque, My mother again said No and made a bunch of excuses of health threats and etc. Again I complied. I am not going anywhere but staying at home, but its taking toll on my health. I once complained my situation to the imam, and he didn't take it seriously and as a result he and any others in the mosque crack jokes at my expense. My mother then uses this perfect opportunity saying, "See! I told you. The people in the mosque are not to be trusted. This is what happens when you dont't listen to me!" She then continutsly uses ways and attacks to turn me against the people of the mosque. I understand they may not like me due to my race or have a stupid superiority race complex, but the mosque would atleast temporarily keep me busy and filter the bad thoughts. Instead I am berated and attacked nonstop. These days its hard not to react back to them. Sometimes yes, I do want to harm myself, so I can expose my family's double standards. But instead i'm trying to hold firm. However when they say Allah doesnt love you because you are bad son and etc, they turn my religion against me, i Cannot honeslty but think if it is true. Hence why i feel like the whole universe is just against me or if im cursed by Allah because of family. Apologize, its one my reasons for low faith
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Al-Ansariyah
07-11-2020, 05:52 AM
Assalamualaikum
May Allah make it easy for you. Ameen! I don't know if you'll take my words seriously because you too would think i'm not mature enough. But just let it be, see if you get anything useful in it.
It's understandable that constant remarks from family due to practice may let the faith down. And you already know the hadith that practicing islam would be like holding a coal in hand in the end times and reward will be much greater. And i personally think your decision of making hijrah is cool enough. And I too am gonna move out in 11th grade to the hostel of my university.
Whenever you get those comments from mother, either stay silent or leave that place. Sometimes, it can get too much and your anger is valid but you can't do it all the time. I told you before as well ,you will slip MANY times,but don't give up,just repent and keep going. I also get those stupid remarks from family. ...........cut[emoji3574]...............cut[emoji3574]................
Anyways, I just want you to realise you aren't in this alone. And if you ever make hijrah,do istikhara beforehand. And also try to be silent or leave the place when you get angry. I too have to act upon it. And i guess, most of the mothers have this in common to blame the sick person for their health issue. Regarding mosque, IF you are able to, then go to other one, even if it's of longer distance. From hadith, the one who covers long distances from home to mosque will get more reward, Insha Allah. I won't say if it's 'depression' or no, I already hate this word and I guess, you already know the reason :)And take all of this as a test because it was your choice to practice islam in the first place, Alhamdulillah, and do you think Allah would ever punish you for choosing the right path?
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Studentofdeed
07-11-2020, 06:54 AM
Jazakallah Khayran sister! May Allah bless you. I wish they were supportive but I have to keep making dua for them instead so Allah will be pleased. But please keep me in ur dua as I think this is the only way I can practice peacefully. Jazakallah Khayran for sharing your story sister. I do not think your immature and your words have helped me immensely. May Allah bless you in both worlds! AMEEN
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Studentofdeed
07-11-2020, 08:14 AM
I feel so weak...i honestly do not think I can out up with it. I switched my career paths so that I can pursue my life and start career, I have turn down marriage purposals because my mother promised she would help me find the perfect one. Instead she lied and now she taunts me saying no one will ever marry me because I'm crazy and everyone has the right to make fun of me. I honestly feel like once I'm done with my education, I will move far away and boycott them. I know in Islam boycotting is haram but I need to or I will either kill myself or they will drive me insane. They destroyed me so much and I have no support system. No friends and no family. I wish Allah would do something about the abuse, but unfortunately I am trying to stay patient. I'm making dua for them and forgiving them but I want Allah to see what they are doing. I just want to flee or escape! My head hurts and they ruined me so much. They are intentionally sabtoging my life and goals. They said my life isn't my own and I have no right to make my own decisions. For God sakes, I'm in mid 20s and man. If they keep doing this, I will seriously either kill myself or curse them and make dua against them. I wish it would just stop
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HowManyMore
07-11-2020, 08:53 AM
Is your mother a narcissist by any chance?
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Studentofdeed
07-11-2020, 08:58 AM
Father is definitely. Pure textbook and mother is a product of his abuse and agrees with everything he says
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Imraan
07-11-2020, 10:27 AM
@Studentofdeed .

This situation you are in won't last forever. You are in your mid twenties nearing graduation. Soon you will get a job insh Allah. If I were you (having gone through the stuff you have in your home and in your community), I would personally have moved state like get a job in the medical field and temporarily settle there. I would select a location that does have a strong muslim community and various mosques.

There is also the issue of marriage, I would put that on the back burner for now, wait till you have financial stability like a job and a place to stay and wait for the stuff goin on in your family life to stabilise. The way you describe it, your family life in your home is causing a lot of distress.

It cant be easy in your situation. That's why you have to help yourself.

Just remember that there is an end to everything. We will not live forever. Those that upset you wont live forever either. There will be a point where those that are close to you and including your enemies will eventually face a final hour and that their actions and behaviours right now are temporary.

When we make dua generally things dont come on time. But we have to keep trying.

Now to help yourself:

There are some signs of depression. If it consumes you daily you need to see a doctor. Do you get any headaches? They may prescribe something. Personally I was suffering from tension headaches, four weeks ago I went to the doctor and got some medicine. I am so against medicine so I've kept it to one side just in case. The tension headaches have gotten better however the trauma hasn't. For as long as I have memories of the past 10 months I think the trauma will remain.

With masjids being closed the past 3 months, I have been praying a lot at home. Praying my salaah and tahajjud, reading quran, making dua and learning new invocations which I repeat throughout the day. You say there arent many masjids in your vicinity which is a shame and you dont feel welcome in your local one. I would pray at home in your own quarters with a hope some personal contentment can be found there, insh Allah it will.

Do you offer all 5 salaah and read quran everyday if not every other day?

Me at your age I was bad, didn't do the daily prayers. Carefree life, work n pay Bill's, chill with friends, look after mum and sisters and our house, wasnt really content with my job 15 years ago but I had to stick with it. Wasnt very religiously inclined in terms of worship but did observe the limits halal and haram etc, however I knew of my duties to my family.

In your situation you have to exercise patience too and there will eventually be a better way out insh Allah. Dont think though that after you get out of this situation you are home free. Life is filled with one hurdle after another for some people. The day you get out of a situation treat it as if you would do on Eid day. Alhamdulillah a day where not a bad memory is recalled or a calamity is not in progress.

You have to help yourself and even maintain the willpower to do so. The more you pray the more you remember Allah swt. The more you fear him, the more you absorb the wisdom of how to handle life better insh Allah. This will Inspire you to stay on a better righteous path.

In regards to those who cause you distress be it people in the mosque or people in your home. Take it as human nature. Eventually one day most people realise what theyve done in the past, we dont know what the one day is but it will come insh Allah. Like i said everyone faces the last hour. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon. Most muslims by identity have a vague idea what comes after. As humans we all make errors, some bigger than others, just have to accept that and focus on how you do not let the actions of others affect you.

You can help yourself seriously, commit yourself to daily prayer and maintain the pattern, let go of social media, watching tv and movies etc and see how you get on.

Constantly I am reminded by my family not to doubt our religion even an atoms worth. Previously I complained to my family that even though I prayed and we prayed and done x y z deeds, they still continue. My family say not to ever doubt our beliefs and our faith.

Now it is just pure supplication filled with tears on occasion. The amount of khushu achieved moreso the past two years, especially the past 10 months is immense.

Now I accept that the last hour will come to me and I'm better prepared for it now than before and anything nice I get between now and then is a blessing. Begin to accept qadr more and put more trust in Allah swt more. Despite it being good or bad coming my way.

Everything = Bi idnillah.....
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'Abd-al Latif
07-11-2020, 11:10 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
I apologize. It was a moment of weakness. Please forgive me. I was not trying to cause fitna. Jazkhallah Khayran, May Allah bless you all
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said that everyone’s iman will go up and down. He also said that iman starts to wear out just like ones clothes and we should make an effort to renew our iman by being consistent in remembering Allah.

The scholars say that there is one category of people who’s iman won’t wear out: the people of the Quran. If you’re iman is wavering, spend time reciting Quran and reflect on its meanings.

If you find yourself procrastinating and you delay reciting Quran then focus on just making a start on reciting, even if you do less than you had planned. Do this consistently every day, even if it’s only for a few minutes.

Make dua and ask Allah to keep you firm in your iman.
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HowManyMore
07-11-2020, 11:25 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
Father is definitely. Pure textbook and mother is a product of his abuse and agrees with everything he says
Then you need to get out. And I guess you know what a narcissist is then. If you didn't or if you feel you don't know much or understand them well, I've found dealing with their abuse is 10000000× easier when you truly understand their behaviour and what is behind it. It takes much of the toxicity away.
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Studentofdeed
07-11-2020, 11:58 AM
I understand completely what a narcissist is and their flying monkeys. However im stuck now. All I can do is ask for Allah's help. I want to make dua however they say in islam keep forgiving family. I will keep makign dua for them however I don't like how thats a free get out a jail of card for them to abuse me.

Yes alhamdullah I pray 5 times, little negligent on the quran but now am getting back on it.

My family does know I have depression however they poke and make fun of me for having it. Telling me its because I'm lazy and don't do anything. I used to be able to avoid them by staying in the university library stuyding all day, now they won't let me leave the house but at the same time abuse me. My brother in law was also making fun of me. The same guy who I defended and helped when my sister was rude to him. Maybe because I'm a easy target or a distraction, or to please my parents he thinks its okay to join along? Idk, not taking it personally but was a bit hurt by that.

My faith is tore down by them then they question me saying why I am pessimistic? Seriously?

Yea I'm learned marriage is not a reality anytime soon. Im a bit bummed. That to please my mother and I trusted her to find me someone suitable, that I declined the few proposals I gotten. Now I feel like my mother cheated me. Don't exactly have any other support in my family from any sides. Both sides are concerned with themselves. Im going to keep trying but I really hope Allah is watching that im suffering snd what they are doing to me.

I feel like i should at least have the right to boycott them so I can breath and feel safe?
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Al-Ansariyah
07-11-2020, 11:58 AM
Until you leave your home , there's nothing you can do literally except being patient and tolerating the abuse. Let's not forget all this will actually END soon. It's okay, you aren't feeling well right now but hopefully after some time you'll get better by the will of Allah SWT. Even if you move away, don't break the ties with your family. No matter how much they abuse you,they are still your parents. Keep in good relations for the sake of Allah SWT and everything will be alright. For now, may be you can reduce the contact with them. Talk to them politely when there's any need otherwise keep to yourself. BUT do not make them feel as if you are ignoring them deliberately. And try to memorize AT LEAST one ayah/day, you'll feel much better. I know medical field can be stressing and needs a lot of time but just TRY. I don't think I have to mention the prayer at the time when almost half of the world is asleep. You already know its importance. Hope you'll feel better soon, inshAllah.
Try this site, I haven't used this much nor do I know so much about it,but it seems nice.
https://www.7cups.com
Web result with site links
7 Cups
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Studentofdeed
07-11-2020, 12:02 PM
I will try sister. But to let alone not make dua agaisnt them id hard enough. To keep forgiving is painful. Plesse keep me in your duas everyone. Make dua im successful and that I go far away from family so that I can practice in peace and then finally meet a good spouse
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Avis
07-11-2020, 01:48 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
I will try sister. But to let alone not make dua agaisnt them id hard enough. To keep forgiving is painful. Plesse keep me in your duas everyone. Make dua im successful and that I go far away from family so that I can practice in peace and then finally meet a good spouse
May Allah make things easy for you. Don't make dua against your family, make dua to Allah that He guides them and corrects their faults. That is better for everyone. You are a grown man, don't let anyone make you feel bad for wanting to move out and starting your own life. Your parents don't have a right to keep you at home. It may anger them at first, but inshallah they will get over it. With what I have read from your posts, you really need to relocate, you just have too much toxicity in your current environment. Just don't think everything will be come much easier and better when you do. We are meant to struggle one way or another in life, it wouldn't be a test if we didn't struggle. I read that you are in school, what are you studying? Also, how old are you if you don't mind answering?

As others have stated, try to get some therapy if you can. Just talking out loud to someone can help clear up your mind. Just don't forget to keep doing your Salah and make dua to Allah.
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Studentofdeed
07-11-2020, 05:05 PM
I'm 24 years old. I'm trying to study for the health field. So I'm done with bachelor's but grad school will take another 4 years
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Studentofdeed
07-11-2020, 05:36 PM
I really want them to be held accountable for what they did and do to me. I honestly will boycott them in the future. Being near them affects my faith and mental health. There should be some understanding or choice to stay away from family that harms you. No point staying in touch with people who destroy your life with their poison. They deserve to be abandoned and exposed for their evil
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Al-Ansariyah
07-11-2020, 05:43 PM
Did they do something to you today? Or this anger is just for the past events? Also i want to ask WHY don't they let you stay in library? Isn't that a good thing if they don't like you
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
I used to be able to avoid them by staying in the university library stuyding all day, now they won't let me leave the house but at the same time abuse me
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Studentofdeed
07-11-2020, 06:26 PM
It happened recently when I told them of my choice to leave America. Its like I dnt even I have the right to make my own decisions. Mother emotionally blackmails me saying never good son, I swear my Allah your not a good muslim and you are wrong. You are mistake and dead to me.etc, etc, etc

They have been rude to me but it usually happens when ever I try to make my own choices or trying being independent

Its not like I'm doing sinful things then they threaten cut me off and disown me. Every day nonstop, I kid you not, father threatens to throw me out od the house over any small thing that irrates him or if im stand up. If dont say anything , he will insult me but won't go further than that. It gets worse when I stand up or make my own decisions. I thought abuse wasn't allowed. How am I not allowed to boycott them for my own safety?

- - - Updated - - -

Constantly using profanity and saying I don't do anythimg in the house. Honestly am I doing something wrong? Am I wrong? Are you family right? Because I'm losing my mind. They will either kill me or I will kill myself
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Al-Ansariyah
07-12-2020, 12:40 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by medico
Also i want to ask WHY don't they let you stay in library? Isn't that a good thing if they don't like you
This one??
The anger must have gone down by now,i guess. Anyways, once you go away from there, YOU WILL MISS YOUR FAMILY,mark my words,You really will. They say we can't know the value of one until they go far from us. Same is applied to your parents as well, they too will know your importance. Have you checked online therapy? Don't wait for the uni's clinic to open, check any muslim therapist online. IT IS affecting your mental health. You should do something rather than just being upset about it.
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Studentofdeed
07-12-2020, 12:50 AM
My mother believes il get sick for corona. So she insists I stay indoor. Im staying indoors but idk. Jazakallah Khayran sister. I will check out the 7cups thing. Please keep me in your duas. I wish my family would appreciate me now. Im trying to be religious, don't do drugs, I'm top of my class. Yet I'm still the black sheep and disappointment

- - - Updated - - -

may Allah bless you all for your support. Please keep me in your duas. I apologize if I ranted a bit. I felt cooped up and no where to go. I really am sorry. Did not mean to get annoying
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Al-Ansariyah
07-12-2020, 12:57 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
My mother believes il get sick for corona.
I already knew the answer but wanted to hear it from you so that you may reflect on it. So can i say they actually care about you?
- - - Updated - - -
To conclude,you have to focus on this very statement you made, look at the concern behind it.
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Studentofdeed
07-12-2020, 01:20 AM
Yes but are trying to prevent me from leaving. Beating and name-calling is not helping. Over possessiveness is killing me
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Al-Ansariyah
07-12-2020, 10:01 AM
Gosh, no!! It's not over possesiveness. This is "care" in disguise. Well what mother would let her child go away from her especially the one who has health issues? As it's already stated 'they care about you', so it's hard to believe that when they say bad things to you, they actually mean it.
You know, abuse and care can't exist together. It's either total care or total abuse. Yes, sometimes parents may curse the child, swear,scold them for small things BUT they hardly mean it. What parents would want their child to be unsuccessful? What parents would want their child to remain celibate? You have anger issues right? If your child does some mistake, won't you scold them? I agree parents should be polite while correcting the mistake of the child but there are different kinds of parents. Some are mixture of anger and love. And if your child decides to go far from you, won't you get upset? Won't you try to stop them? That's what YOUR parents are doing. Whatever you do, just pray istikhara before. You know, what really helps is reading about the importance of parents in islam. It surely softens the heart. If you get free time, read about it. • Ibn Umar(r.a) saw a yemeni man performing tawaf while carrying his mother on his back. This man said to ibn umar " I am like a tame camel for her. I have carried her more than she carried me. Do you think i have paid her back?" Ibn umar replied" No, not even for a single pang of pregnancy" _________ Prophet(pbuh) said"A child cannot repay his father unless he finds him as a slave and buys him and sets him free"(Sahih)
I am sure every parent at one time or the other gets angry at the child. But we don't have to take it seriously because they really don't mean any harm from it so why think so much about it. My mother scolds me so much despite the respect and help i offer. My father doesn't scold me, only mother does but i am pretty sure mother loves me more than the father and cares much more. That mood swing problem she has. If i had taken her scolds seriously, i would have surely isolated myself in Antarctica. Anyways, you don't take the comments (not abuse, if i may say) seriously. If you really want to leave, assure them that you can take care of yourself and live independently and will keep meeting them. That's it!!
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Studentofdeed
07-12-2020, 10:22 AM
Inshallah jazakallah Khayran sister. I will try my best
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HowManyMore
07-12-2020, 12:20 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by medico
You know, abuse and care can't exist together. It's either total care or total abuse.
That's rubbish. Many personality disorders show as abuse but that doesn't mean they don't really care. Few people actually abuse someone without caring, like psychopaths. And even if the abuser cares, it on no way excuses the abuse or makes it okay. It also doesn't necessarily help the victim in coping with it.
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Studentofdeed
07-12-2020, 08:38 PM
I actually agree with medico. My mother does care about me but the way she is going about it wrong. Its my father who makes an issue of it. I know my father doesn't care about it. He was never present in my life when I was child and was out traveling the world. Rubbing it in my face, I went to Paris and this place and this place. Knowing we never go anywhere. He know lives with us because he is retired and has no where else to go. He is a narcissist and was the reason why my family are not religious. Because he preaches islam when it suits him and plays the quran really loud and then hits and swears his children. Does this seem likely to attract people to Islam? He used to criticize my sister for listening to Indian music. Now he himself listens to music every now and then. Based off all these facts l, he doesnt care. But I understood with what the sister was saying. My mothwr may be mistreating me as way to cope with the indifference of her husband and overpossessivness and overprotectiveness
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Hamza Asadullah
07-13-2020, 12:55 AM
Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe" and they will not be tried? [29;2]

Everyone of us is going through a unique set of tests, hardships, trials, adversities. However even those who are going through comfort are also being tested because comfort can make us negligent towards fulfilling our obligations unto Allah.

It is these tests which force many of our heads to the ground. There is a great wisdom in what we are going through in life although we may see it not.

It is through these very tests that we can gain unimaginable, incomprehensible rewards. Only in the Hereafter will we finally see the immense rewards without measure promised for those who patiently persevered through life's tests. It is only then will we wish that we endured far more greater trials just so that we can gain the immense rewards available for those who patiently persevered through the hardest trials and hardships:

The Prophet (Sallalahu alaihi Wasallam) said: "On the Day of Judgment, when the people who were tried (in this world) are given their rewards, the people who were pardoned (in life), will wish that their skins had been cut off with scissors while they were in the world."[Tirmidhi 2402]

So we must change our mindsets with regards to the tests we are going through. We must not look at our tests as Allah is wanting to see how we will react, how patiently we will persevere and our resolve on whether we will respond to negativity with good in order to please Allah.

Family come with huge tests but also immeasurable rewards. Therefore change your perception from that of feeling injustice to feeling that this is an opportunity to invest huge good deeds into your account of the Hereafter. You may not get these opportunities again in your life. Just ask those whose parents have passed. SubhanAllah we are at great loss if we look upon our families as a burden.

Instead we should look upon them as an opportunity to please Allah in ways that would be very difficult otherwise. So honour them no matter how they treat you. There is nothing wrong with telling them how you feel and standing up for yourself but do it in a respectful tone and do not get angry with them. Use wisdom and tact in your approach in a way that is most pleasing to Allah.

So everytime you come across a difficult situation then straight away think "this is a test". You response will surely change. Never listen to the whispers of your enemy shaythan and abandon your parents. As long as they are on this Earth you have an opportunity to please Allah and gain immeasurable rewards for being patient and wanting to please Allah thereby. Otherwise it will be a source of huge regret in the Hereafter. I am not saying any if this is easy. But then again nor is getting to Jannah. The oath is full of thorns, but we can make it if we push hard and put our trust, faith, hopes and reliance in Allah.

So beg and ask of him every night at Tahajjud, cry unto him and ask of him for assistance and know that he hears your every call and will give comfort to your heart. Know that victory comes after hardship. So keep going, don't give up. I'd you fall then keep getting back up. Connect to the Masjid and the Qur'an and Dua's in the night prayer. These are your sources of help and comfort through any adversity in life!
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Studentofdeed
07-13-2020, 02:06 AM
I will try brother. Please keep me in ur duas. Jazakallah Khayran
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Studentofdeed
07-13-2020, 07:24 AM
I want to apologize again for taking so much of everyone's time. I know i should know better and of all people be more knowledgeable. It was stupid and silly of me to get upset with Allah. Allah is most best and wise and knows what's best for us. I really am sorry and see much more clearly. Unfortunately as you can tell, i am very impatient and impulsive and get carried away with emotions. Please forgive me. I apologized to my father and my mother. Things are not rocky now. But I was wrong to complain abt them. Yes they may do bad ways to show they care, but they still care. It was HIGHLY immature and inappropriate of me. Please forgive me and don't think bad of me. My father was the one who initiated the contact and for that I felt bad and apologized. Again I'm so sorry for wasting your time. My mind is a war zone. Jazakallah Khayran and May Allah bless you all for taking your time and helping me
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MazharShafiq
07-13-2020, 08:35 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed
I want to apologize again for taking so much of everyone's time. I know i should know better and of all people be more knowledgeable. It was stupid and silly of me to get upset with Allah. Allah is most best and wise and knows what's best for us. I really am sorry and see much more clearly. Unfortunately as you can tell, i am very impatient and impulsive and get carried away with emotions. Please forgive me. I apologized to my father and my mother. Things are not rocky now. But I was wrong to complain abt them. Yes they may do bad ways to show they care, but they still care. It was HIGHLY immature and inappropriate of me. Please forgive me and don't think bad of me. My father was the one who initiated the contact and for that I felt bad and apologized. Again I'm so sorry for wasting your time. My mind is a war zone. Jazakallah Khayran and May Allah bless you all for taking your time and helping me
Ameen
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