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Islami.Mu'mina
08-10-2020, 03:35 PM
Hey im confused on this topic. If you are ranting/complaining to a friend about someone being annoying, is this backbiting? Or if you are basically talking behind their back about like things (for example, “ ____ is being very prideful and its annoying me because he thinks he’s the best”). I tend to have a problem with a certain person who is nice and we get along but he does many things out of his ego to me that bother me. I always tell my friends about how annoying he is. Is this backbiting?? I thought backbiting was on things like zina and private sins.
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Supernova
08-13-2020, 01:26 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Islami.mu'min
Hey im confused on this topic. If you are ranting/complaining to a friend about someone being annoying, is this backbiting? Or if you are basically talking behind their back about like things (for example, “ ____ is being very prideful and its annoying me because he thinks he’s the best”). I tend to have a problem with a certain person who is nice and we get along but he does many things out of his ego to me that bother me. I always tell my friends about how annoying he is. Is this backbiting?? I thought backbiting was on things like zina and private sins.
Asalaamualaykum : It's a very common misunderstood topic "Ghiba" Backbiting.

The fault lay both ways in the sense that Ulema don't take the time to explain it in detail with examples and the fault is ours that we don't ponder and ask the Ulema. It's very important for a Muslim to understand this concept taking into account the number of times it is discouraged in the Quran and the fact that his/her social network can be destroyed by not understanding this topic.

There is a huge difference between [1] getting something off your chest, [2] seeking advice and then backbiting. In [1] & [2] The intent is that at times names or personas will have to be revealed so as to get the best Advice. In certain cases one would have to reveal a name or else it would lead to bigger confusion and a greater Fitna in Society.

One of the wisdom's of avoiding backbiting is to keep the very social society moral and peaceful, however, sometimes a person has to reveal a name or incident for the very same objective.

Backbiting on the other hand is were one has no intention of seeking advice nor any intention to help the person they talking about. They simply backbiting with only one intention and that is harm comes to the other persons name or status or welfare. The perfect example here that comes to mind from the seerah of Rasool SAW and is actually from a topic that is discussed very rarely. (based on its sensitivity).

In the time when the Munafiqeen accused Ayesha RA, of "the incident" - you will find this saga went on for a long time (months). It came to time when our beloved Rasool SAW was sitting in the musjid and actually turned to a very very young Sahabi for advice or thoughts on the matter. Because the incident was by then very well known in Madina.

Around about the very same time, during this incident, The wife of Ayub Al Ansari, came into her home from outside. Ayub Al Ansari was sitting down and she asked him if he had what has happened and what people are talking about. Before she could continue - he stopped her and commanded her to stop this talk of backbiting.

If you now compare both the above stories in relation to Backbiting, you will understand where the red line is. In the first incident, it is clear that Rasool SAW was seeking advice or just wanted to open up about the topic and surfaced up a topic that the young sahabi did not even bring up himself. This is not backbiting. This is simply opening up. In the second incident, it is clear that the wife was going to say something that was unproductive to anyone at all. All it would have been was resurfacing whispers from outside and brought it into the home.

The way I personally do this in my life is I ask myself, that should I reveal an incident and names, How would this change anything in the future. If you can't see any positive change at all, then it was an unproductive meaningless tale which should not have been mentioned at all.

Please do ask an Aalim/a for the references of the two above stories.
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