I need help with Emotional turbulence and Astrology.

[anonymous]

AOA Everyone,Hope everyone is well and is good health.

I am sure you get this a lot on these forums and I am not here to add my backstory to the mix, just need some advice and focus to help me find resolve.

I have managed to sort out a lot of things in my life from Career, Health, Faith/Islam and Personality I am still having issues related to my emotions.I'll keep things straight and simple as I have already pinpointed the problem I am facing and these are:

1 - Emotional imbalance - (sitting alone working on my computer I get feelings of Comparison, Jealousy, Envy, Hatred and feeling inferior to others as well as always feeling and being oppressed in decision making with my family and in general with people at large

2 - I have had an interest in Astrology for 15 years or so and have picked up quite a few thing in my research and it is difficult to imagine explaining this stuff to other people as I think people will never understand it the way its meant to be understood but anyway I feel it is very accurate representation of God, life and personal evolution.

I have stopped believing in it and have put a stop to any information gathering and putting my full faith in Allah from now. However the knowledge is still there and I i don;t care if you think i'm stupid but as soon as planet moves I feel its energy change have an effect on my soul.

Now I make sure I pray on time, read quran, do zikr and improve my dealings with others as well as staying away from major sins. I am also regular in working out at gym. I also do consistent istighfar and dua to Allah to repair my situation but the most important thing bugging me is my emotional fluctuation and feeling of fear and indecisiveness leading to fear suddenly when sitting alone or interacting with my family and others so I stay to my self now my siblings are 1 year and 9 years younger than me respectively. I'm 29 myself.

They have a house, lots of friends, are always inspired and motivated and full of life and excitement and they have this certainty that they will get the job, buying the thing they wanted and be confident in whatever situation. BUT I never have ever felt that way since birth. Things in my life have happened the way they have to make me inferior and lower to my siblings in career and life in general. I am simple and straight minded individual. I want to learn to stay content and I recite and beg Allah to give me that within my body as Allah has already blessed me with SO MUCH but I feelings are so intense and I want to stop them.

I also feel like life is miserable and I've been given a bad hand and I know its cliche to hear that but I've done everything in my power to improve upon all areas that i can but my feelings of Envy, Jealousy and Hatred, inferiority and belief in astrology doesn't go away.

I feel low and very confused as to where to go from here. I'll stop here for now and wait for your responses to elaborate further.