Do I have to listen to him for this?

[anonymous]

Salam

My husband can be nice and annoying. I want to know how far we have to listen to our husbands. Like is it in ABSOLUTELY everything unless it requires us to disobey Allah. If it is, I don't think I can do this anymore. Don't I have my own rights? He always makes stupid commands/demands that interrupt me from doing my own things. I already clean and cook but sometimes he'll make me go out of my way to work on his schedule and make what he wants. It isn't even with just cleaning and cooking affairs. He also goes into tinier things and I just listen instead of arguing. And when I'm taking naps too. Do I have to wake up from my sleep to give him intercourse or do random house chores for him if he orders me to? This happens sometimes.

So I would like to know what is required of me. I know it is wrong for him to do all this, so doesn't that give me a right to disobey him? Husbands have to treat their wives with kindness which is their right so if he is violating that, I dont need to listen. I have my own rights too. I dont think I need to obey him and violate my own rights. Its not like im going out without his permission. I just dont want to feel like a little child in this house.

[Studentofdeed]

Sister if he provides for you and takes care for you...then there is no need for you to be annoyed. You have to stay patient. However if he name calls you, abuses in any shape or form, or neglects you, or doesn't go out of the waynfoe you, then talk to him and try to compromise. But if he is nice, then talk with him and hopefully by Allah's will it should smooth over

[anonymous]

Sister if he provides for you and takes care for you...then there is no need for you to be annoyed. You have to stay patient. However if he name calls you, abuses in any shape or form, or neglects you, or doesn't go out of the waynfoe you, then talk to him and try to compromise. But if he is nice, then talk with him and hopefully by Allah's will it should smooth over

Yeah I understand he provides for me which I appreciate, but he is quite lazy often and not very engaging in the family. Shouldn't he at least be helping around and caring? I'm not trying to expect too much but he himself has high expectations of me and it is very agitating. And then he expects me to do what he wants. He'll often command me or order me around like a child and I get tired from it too. You know, its not just tiring working outside the house, it goes the same way for mothers who work inside too. As soon as he comes home, he gets all the time to himself. I have to keep serving him though.

[wayfarer91]

Why dont u post this question on assim al hakeem's website

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[Studentofdeed]

Sister have you tried voicing your concern? Or atleast talking it out?

[keiv]

Sister have you tried voicing your concern? Or atleast talking it out?

I didn't see it mentioned but, communication can go a long way in any relationship. I would try doing that first if you haven't already. He will only continue doing what he feels is normal if he doesn't know it bothers you.