[QUOTE]Studentofdeed is right. Please share your doubt and we will try to provide the needed information.
We are here to help each other.[QUOTE]
Sister please share your doubts so we may clear them. Its okay to ask so you can clear and strengthen your faith
The reason why I deleted my post in the first place was because I thought it would be a confusing topic for anyone to answer. I starting bringing up a bunch of weird logic and analogies. I talked to someone personally about it and it never really helped even though they gave some good logical answers. i think its more about trust instead of logic.
I'm just trying to keep it away from my mind.
In a nutshell, I am a bit fearful of going to jannah because I believe that I'm not going to be the same person. My mindset is going to be different. It just makes me worry a lot because i have no idea what'll happen when we get purified and I feel like I'm not going to be the same person. It just makes me think that we will be similar to the angels in a way, but not completely.
Like itll be that we do have free will but our desires are programmed to wanting limited things and that we cannot think broadly like the way we do now.
On top of that, when we fufill our lustful (i dont mean sexual, I mean anything) desires on this earth, there is a different type of happiness that we feel from spiritual happiness.
Spiritual happiness is the type of permanent happiness you get and it takes one to master his mind to achieve that happiness.
The other type of happiness is the reward receiving happiness/temporary happiness (idk even know what type of name it has. Im just saying this off of experience and I think you guys know what I'm talking about). We get this temporary feeling when we fufill our lustful desires/addictions that we have been craving for. Its more of an evil feeling I guess. In reality, addictions are harmful to you and that is why we have so many restrictions placed on us by the law of Allah.
Im scared that I wont have that type of craving for those desires in jannah and jannah is all about spiritual happiness (which makes sense).. But I just want every specific thing on this dunya that I gave up. And I want it to be in jannah (if i get to jannah).. I dont want my desires to change and I dont want to forget about every pain.
Instead of getting excited, I get so much anxiety thinking about what happens if I make it into jannah. It sounds petty. I guess its something I have to accept and trust