Searching for a spouse

[kingfisher1]

Assalam Alaikum,

I'm a brother from the UK who was searching for a wife. You can message me if you would like to know more.

[Islami.Mu'mina]

Have you tried matrimonial websites? I mean the good ones. There is one made by naseeha sessions that is very good

[kingfisher1]

Yes I have tried many

[Imraan]

Walaikum salaam

Wherebouts in the UK are you from brother

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[xboxisdead]

Heheh, funny I was about to mention your name, Imraan - grin -. Lo and behold there you are, replying to this post. :) That being said, for the OP. Brother before you go ahead and seek out marriage look for brother Imraan's post when his marriage went into disaster. You will find his post here easily, read everything from page 1 to last page. Don't miss any of the details. There are great resources of essential advices about how to seek for a partner and what happens if you picked out the wrong one. Take all the advices in that post to heart and apply them. After you read Imraan's post and his failed marriage from page to 1 to last and got all the advices you need then continue on with paragraph two of this reply.

Don't be scared of offending women. If she generalizes your gender in a negative way such as, "All men are like this!" or "Male chauvinistic pig!" or "Typical male behavior!" or even throw the word "sexist" in any of her sentence, simply smile and leave. Don't even bother debate or proof your case. It is already a lost case. SHE IS UNFIT with any man, let a long with you and she WILL destroy you. if your method of questioning doesn't match her style or believe, that means she is not the right person for you. As for finding a partner, I am extremely against websites. But that is me. I maybe old now in my thinking, who knows. Only Allah knows. My suggestion find a good mosque and ask their help there.

[Islami.Mu'mina]

Yes I have tried many

I guess you'll just have to keep searching through friends as well. Maybe you can find men at the masjid who have connections

Sunnahmatch is also a really good website for those who want to get married the permissible way with meetings including the wali, etc..I think you may find more serious Muslims on here

[muslimah__]

Walaikum Salaam
Which marriage sites have you tried? I’ve heard good things about Pure Matrimony
Also, what are you looking for in a spouse?

[Imraan]

Heheh, funny I was about to mention your name, Imraan - grin -. Lo and behold there you are, replying to this post. :) That being said, for the OP. Brother before you go ahead and seek out marriage look for brother Imraan's post when his marriage went into disaster. You will find his post here easily, read everything from page 1 to last page. Don't miss any of the details. There are great resources of essential advices about how to seek for a partner and what happens if you picked out the wrong one. Take all the advices in that post to heart and apply them. After you read Imraan's post and his failed marriage from page to 1 to last and got all the advices you need then continue on with paragraph two of this reply.

Don't be scared of offending women. If she generalizes your gender in a negative way such as, "All men are like this!" or "Male chauvinistic pig!" or "Typical male behavior!" or even throw the word "sexist" in any of her sentence, simply smile and leave. Don't even bother debate or proof your case. It is already a lost case. SHE IS UNFIT with any man, let a long with you and she WILL destroy you. if your method of questioning doesn't match her style or believe, that means she is not the right person for you. As for finding a partner, I am extremely against websites. But that is me. I maybe old now in my thinking, who knows. Only Allah knows. My suggestion find a good mosque and ask their help there.

Yes do read my post brother, whatever you do, do not deviate too much. Stick to Sunnah all the way and put faith in it so that you find a god fearing righteous spouse. Take this opportunity to evaluate where you are with your own deen too. When you find a god fearing pious woman, most likely she will be looking be looking for a god fearing pious man.

There have been many posts on how to conduct your search on marriage apps / social media, take the advice, respect their space on the platform and respect yours too.

You should be basing the sanctity of your marriage in line with sunnah, insh Allah you will have a eternal fulfilling marriage... Insh Allah. So it is important to set the foundations right first. I realise that you are starting out looking to get married so finding someone and then getting married is the first hurdle. After which we all hope we are treated fairly so as long as we treat our better half fairly too. Reciprocity comes to mind. Give and take.

I would suggest treading carefully on marriage apps, mahrams involved from the start etc, use it as Introduction only and get families involved asap. Focus more on marriage bureau's within masjid, women normally have mahrams present with them when they attend.

Not really sure what your values are like. I.e. Liberal or traditional etc. I say this because your values somewhat determine how much you can conform to sunnah. I'm not judging, just saying it how it is.

Pray everyday and have faith.... You'll get there insh Allah.

Your opportunity can come at any time. Be willing and do your utmost to stay on the straight and narrow. Read my post and you'll see why I am saying all this.

My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightmare,

[kingfisher1]

I'm from Birmingham. Online doesn't work because most people are failing to get married and marriage sites have been around now for well over a decade. Mosques and the general community has failed to find solutions to this problem. The muslim community doesn't exist anymore, we are all disconnected from one another. Nobody calls or visits each other, so when you have no one else to help you, then you don't really have many options especially in a gender segregated muslim community, in which men and women don't socialise.

If family, relatives, neighbours don't help you find someone and also no free mixing takes place between the genders, then you're chances of finding a spouse are pretty much dead, unless you're one of a tiny minority of fortunate people who has either met someone online or just bumped into someone in the real world.

I don't have any friends, muslim men once married tend to dissapear and no longer keep in touch with you, so I really don't have anyone to help me find someone.

The men at the masjid don't care, most men these days take no responsibility for the problems facing their local community.

As for what do I look for in a spouse, some chemistry, humble, sincere, religiously inclined young muslima with good character.

[kingfisher1]

Imraan nobody hardly follows the Islamic ways of finding a spouse, most people don't even pray. Marriage is pretty much dead in our times.

[xboxisdead]

Imraan nobody hardly follows the Islamic ways of finding a spouse, most people don't even pray. Marriage is pretty much dead in our times.

LOL! Everyone think I am bleak. I guess someone beat me big time!! ;D

[xa_xa_ft]

Hey, ive also been struggling to find a spouse. I have been trying apps and know of people that have used them have got married. I agree with what you said nobody hardly follows the islamic ways of finding a spouse. I think we have to pray and maybe pray Tahujjud only Allah can help us. I have been talking to a guy from Bangla but im not sure about marrying a different ethnicity. @Imran i will read your pose maybe that will help me too.

[xboxisdead]

I was just talking with my brother about what @kingfisher1 just said and he agrees 100% with him. I am not married, my older brother is not married and my twin brother is not married. We are all in our 40's and single. Marriage is too complicated and too dangerous for a man if it fails. Marriage is ultra complicated and the interference of mother and father in-law and how society dictate how a father should raise his children and he cannot be a husband anymore, he have literally have to be submissive and obedient to his wife makes current marriage a dead institution. The current dajjal marriage is a failed marriage system. So the alternative now is Zina and sexual revolution. The system that feminist applied to non-Muslim world may become the reality to Muslim world. Expect as years pass by, homosexuality and lesbianism, child prostitution, prostitution, beastailty and zina will be the norm if not already the norm in Muslim world. It doesn't help, like my brother said, that traditional marriage is a failed marriage system. We no longer follow the prophet and his sahaba in how we get married. We need the person to be smart, book smart, have high education, having chink chank worth of dime in his pocket, power and fame and beauty is the hallmark. Having a falaah (a farmer) to want to get married to a non-farmer woman who is educated with high standard is unheard of. NO WAY! Yet, in sight of Allah there is nothing wrong and perhaps you don't know...Allah would have put great barakaah in such marriage. Allah does not look in IQ and education to determine your worth in afterlife. But we do here. What if a boy is born slow or not smart. He had no choice, Allah created his brain this way. You want that boy to feel resentment and hate Allah (Authobillah) or question Allah (Authobillah) why he created him like that. What sort of evil and dark energy you guys are going to produce this way. Even if he didn't or she didn't. They will believe in this new world that only poor marries poor and rich marries rich. High standard marries high standard. Low standard marries low standard. Alright. Let us separate society more into even more sectors. Let the white marry only white and black marry only black. Asian marry only Asian. Let us even go further. Only Arabs who are black marry Arabs who are black and only Arabs who are brown marry only Arabs who are brown. Ok, let us go even further. Only blue eye people marry blue eye people. No, I want red haired people only to marry red haired people. Alright, let us go even further. Only tall people who are only Arabs who are only white and who only have blue eyes and only have red hairs who have fine hairs and only have soft voice and only smooth skin marry that same type of people. Want me to go on? And even if you did that, is that Islam? No, that seems Jewish to me more than Islam. So you call yourself practicing Muslim when you practice everything against Islam? Who are you lying too?

Well, as funny as the above sentence is...THIS IS EXACTLY HOW COMPLICATED MARRIAGE have reached. So...I am guessing that in the future if this keeps going on this is what will happen to Muslim society worldwide:

A) Marriage and practicing marriage is extinct.
B) It seems majority of people find women getting married requiring the consent of Walli is oppressive to her. When marriage become extinct, so is walli become extinct. Women can pick and choose whoever she wishes. What end up happening is domestic violence, rape, child out of wedlock and women failing in relationship will become the hallmark. She will become the non-stop attack on men, saying men are immature, they cannot handle responsibilities, where are all the good men, articles and blogs and TV shows bashing men will become the norm. We are moving toward the same society that we have in America. Which in the end, it will become rare for any women to get married. Single mothers will become the norm.
C) When single mothers become norm, lineage is destroyed. When lineage is destroyed so is spreading Islam is destroyed with it. New generation of children will not take Islam seriously, half wouldn't even know how to pray correctly, other half wouldn't know how to recite Qura'an correctly and the other half wouldn't even know the meaning of shahada.
D) Newer generation will just become worse than others and Jahhillya will return full force in Muslim society.
E) Violence, suicide rate, guns and shootings and drug usage, dancing women, songs and sexual revolution in Muslim world WILL become the norm.

May I ask, how far the above is from the current reality we are now? Just curious. Well, that being said this is the direction we are going when marriage and it's current stage become impossible to achieve. You can try to change the nature of human male as much as you want, it will not work. Had it worked, Allah (Subhanu Wa Talaa) would have enforced that a man is ONLY allowed to marry one wife. Allah (Subhanu Wa Talaa) would have not pushed for marriage, as he did. In fact, if the nature of man is equal to a woman, inheritance of a man and woman would be the same. NO WAY would Allah (Subhanu Wa Talaa) put the shoulder of maintenance and protection on a man at all. in fact, Allah (Subhanu Wa Talaa) would have given men the same sexual private part as women so that men enjoy the pleasure of birth and not feel resentful that women can have it when he have the same brain as her and same hormone. That would be oppressive to men if he couldn't conceive like women and Allah (Subhanu Wa Talaa) swore on himself that he will not oppress any of his creations. IN fact, if men and women are the same...homosexuality is the norm not heterosexuality's. All prophets would have been female. Wouldn't you all agree? But all that didn't happen. Men are created different than women. It is seems we cannot understand this, but I will repeat it again. Men and women are different. They have different hormones. Different chromosomes. Different desires. Different needs. Different brain patterns. Women have two sides light up, a man have one side light up. Women excel in education better than men do. Men are stronger than women. Women have higher voice pitch than men do. I mean...are these not so duh obvious that I have to teach you guys something that is....uuuh....duuh? So why I am here? I am here, because when we complicate marriage so much so...we are oppressing both sexes and we are trying to make it hard for a man to fulfill his desires in halaal way. When you do that, HE WILL SEEK TO FULFILL HIS DESIRES NO MATTER WHAT. To him....sex is like consuming food. He needs it. He will masturbate. He will watch pornography to fulfill it. In the end he fulfilled his desires. Or, he may see haraam relationship (Zina), girlfriend...and he will have sexual conquest that way. The girl gets pregnant and the above scenario is open for you. Now multiply that disaster by millons and thousands and society collapsed. Is that what Muslim community wants. Wil you can have what you sowed for. Just don't weep when hellfire is in front of you, ok?

[Islami.Mu'mina]

Just keep trying and inshaAllah maybe one day you'll find someone

[muslimah__]

Do you have relatives back home? Have you considered marrying someone from there?

[bint e aisha]

Xboxisdead comes across as a seriously misogynistic person..

[BeTheChange]

Walaikumasalaam

Try this masjid insha Allah

https://centralmosque.org.uk/services/marriage-bureau/

Ask family members to spread the word insha Allah in your local community. Usually you can find aunties within the community who have this job for a living. Some do it free for the sake of Allah swt and others charge.

Keep making lots of dua and insha Allah you will find someone.

Marriage Bureau - Birmingham Central Mosque ...

[keiv]

Xboxisdead comes across as a seriously misogynistic person..

I will note that having extreme views on any subject isn't good, but there is truth to what he says. If there are specific points you don't agree with, maybe you can point them out to get clarification on his views.

[Revert alYunani]

No, I want red haired people only to marry red haired people. Alright, let us go even further. Only tall people who are only Arabs who are only white and who only have blue eyes and only have red hairs who have fine hairs and only have soft voice and only smooth skin marry that same type of people. Want me to go on?

looool...though it aint so extreme,you are right,and i see your point.The families are all to blame that they dont educate themselves and the children in the proper way,or that they have allowed islam to be their culture not their religion.If they really care about islam they would have learnt everything what islam says about marriage and would have known you should accept the one who proposes to your daughter if he is of good character and good iman,otherwise they would be fitnah on earth.And then they blame it all on the ummah,and the society,when they themselves are part of the ummah spreading fitnah.
Arabs are starting to suffer from what jews suffer.The feeling of being superior and that islam belong to them,so everybody else is seen as an outsider,or us converts are seen as if we lack faith and we can never be full muslims.

[kingfisher1]

@Muslimah I do have relatives back home who I have no communication with, I don't like inbreeding with cousins. I don't like marrying someone from a poor country because they will marry me for getting a british passport and access to greater wealth and I don't want to be used as a passport/wealth mule. As far as I know, no woman in Pakistan has fallen in love with me and will marry me for the right reasons :)
@BeTheChange I've tried central mosque and they are very unprofessional and a waste of time. Family don't care about me, aunties don't care either. The social fabric of british society has been destroyed and nobody cares about each other so I'm all alone. Smartphone addiction has destroyed pretty much all natural bonds between people, nobody greets each other anymore or makes and effort to visit each other and build real friendships/relationships.

The only natural creatures left are the birds and squirrels in the parks. I wonder what would happen if they too started using smartphones and the internet :)

[xboxisdead]

looool...though it aint so extreme,you are right,and i see your point.The families are all to blame that they dont educate themselves and the children in the proper way,or that they have allowed islam to be their culture not their religion.If they really care about islam they would have learnt everything what islam says about marriage and would have known you should accept the one who proposes to your daughter if he is of good character and good iman,otherwise they would be fitnah on earth.And then they blame it all on the ummah,and the society,when they themselves are part of the ummah spreading fitnah.
Arabs are starting to suffer from what jews suffer.The feeling of being superior and that islam belong to them,so everybody else is seen as an outsider,or us converts are seen as if we lack faith and we can never be full muslims.

Another reason why my older brother refuses to marry Arabs.

[muslimah__]

@Muslimah I do have relatives back home who I have no communication with, I don't like inbreeding with cousins.I don't like marrying someone from a poor country because they will marry me for getting a british passport and access to greater wealth and I don't want to be used as a passport/wealth mule. As far as I know, no woman in Pakistan has fallen in love with me and will marry me for the right reasons :)
@BeTheChange I've tried central mosque and they are very unprofessional and a waste of time. Family don't care about me, aunties don't care either. The social fabric of british society has been destroyed and nobody cares about each other so I'm all alone. Smartphone addiction has destroyed pretty much all natural bonds between people, nobody greets each other anymore or makes and effort to visit each other and build real friendships/relationships.

The only natural creatures left are the birds and squirrels in the parks. I wonder what would happen if they too started using smartphones and the internet :)

Woah what a sweeping generalisation. I know that is a stereotype for people back home and it is true to an extent but you can’t paint everyone with the same brush. I’m sure there are exceptions.

Birmingham is full of Asians so there isn’t a shortage of women.
Have you not met ANYONE compatible or maybe you have some very high standards :)

[Imraan]

@Muslimah I do have relatives back home who I have no communication with, I don't like inbreeding with cousins. I don't like marrying someone from a poor country because they will marry me for getting a british passport and access to greater wealth and I don't want to be used as a passport/wealth mule. As far as I know, no woman in Pakistan has fallen in love with me and will marry me for the right reasons :)
@BeTheChange I've tried central mosque and they are very unprofessional and a waste of time. Family don't care about me, aunties don't care either. The social fabric of british society has been destroyed and nobody cares about each other so I'm all alone. Smartphone addiction has destroyed pretty much all natural bonds between people, nobody greets each other anymore or makes and effort to visit each other and build real friendships/relationships.

The only natural creatures left are the birds and squirrels in the parks. I wonder what would happen if they too started using smartphones and the internet :)

Don't lose hope brother, not everyone is drowning in their own smartphone on insta or tik tok!, Some good people are out there, i know it feels like a 'needle in a haystack', i mean i feel like i'm in denial sometimes, i have to remember the good times, the good actions of people, good people that i have met throughout my life just to tell myself, not everyone is bad! I maintain my faith and pray everyday. Yes its a hard life, but i'm not giving up!

[kingfisher1]

@Muslimah explain to me what motivates a person from a poorer country want to marry someone from a richer western country. Why would a person leave their country, family, friends and marry a stranger from a far away richer country? Why would they not marry a local person instead with whom they have a lot more in common with? Please explain the driving force behind the reason for marrying someone from a western country?

In Pakistan I think there are 300 million people, why would someone from Pakistan reject so many people in order to marry a foreigner?

You are right Birmingham is full of asian women but sadly most of these women are not religious and have excessive love of money/material. I have met many women but pretty much most of them with the exception of a few are only after a guy with loads of money. They are not interested in a non materialistic man like me. These women were raised in a materialistic capitalistic society and in which money is the god which people worship, even their families are not all that religious. Most asian families have no shame in dealing in riba based mortgages just to buy a house.

When non religious, materialistic families raise children in the capitalist western secular societies, the children for the most part don't end up with good values and principles.

When it comes to standards, it's women in general who have much higher standards than men. If you would like to know the reason why, then please study female hypergamy.

This is a big reason why marriage is dead in the west because women will reject most men because they earn less money than her. This is why a lot of men tend to marry from a poorer country like Pakistan because women are attracted to the higher wealth status of a western man. Women tend to in general marry up the wealth status ladder.

Women in the west are financially well off and independent, therefore they don't need a man to provide for them, and so don't value a man as much as a woman who lives in a poorer country and doesn't have a lot going for her. Women in the west tend to have better paid jobs then most men, therefore they will reject most men who earn less than them.

One of the first questions a woman will always ask a guy, is what he does for a living? She does this to ascertain his wealth status.

The reason why I'm still single is not because I have high standards, it's because sadly most women don't find me financially attractive, I just don't have a big enough bank balance to fund their luxurious lifestyle.

Western feminism and female empowerment has destroyed the value of a man and the family unit. This is one of the biggest reasons that marriage is dead in the west. When gender roles are reversed, then marriage and family dies.

The other reason why it's hard to marry an asian woman in the UK is because most are secular and prefer haram relationships rather than taking on the responsibilities of marriage. Unfortunately are lot of asian women tend to have fun in the best years of their lives, late teens and 20's and then once they have wasted their youth, they tend to look for a nice guy to marry, when she has little to offer a man. We men marry women who are young, youthful and fertile to build families and we don't like women who have slept around. Unfortunately a lot of women will have fun with the badboys during their best years of their life and then once they are middle aged will tend to look for a nice guy to settle down with who can pay for a comfy life.
@Imraan truth has to be told that for most people, there is no hope. Let's be honest, you really think that most people are intelligent and rightly guided? Most people who I have come across, to put it politely are not all that bright and can think for themselves.

[kingfisher1]

@Muslimah it's the quality of people not the quantity. Muslim number over 1 billion but because they are like the dirt that collects on top of the sea and have weak belief and lack substance, sadly we are a down trodden nation, we have no honour because we sacrificed Islam for worldly comfort and pleasure. We have turned our backs on Allah and therefore we are now paying the price for our sins, part of which is that we are leading unhappy lonely lives.

[Islami.Mu'mina]

When it comes to standards, it's women in general who have much higher standards than men. If you would like to know the reason why, then please study female hypergamy

Yeah this is true that women are more selective due to their hypergamous nature but you don't understand that it's not always with money. People have their different preferences. It isn't good to keep thinking negatively, keep having hope. And for money, some people don't even have high standards. I know a lady who married a poor man because he has so many other good traits that was perfect in her eyes. Some people care more for beauty, money, or character and religiosity.. Definitely many people may want a mix, but nothing extreme. And those who have extreme standards.. Whatever

Unfortunately are lot of asian women tend to have fun in the best years of their lives, late teens and 20's and then once they have wasted their youth, they tend to look for a nice guy to marry, when she has little to offer a man. We men marry women who are young, youthful and fertile to build families and we don't like women who have slept around. Unfortunately a lot of women will have fun with the badboys during their best years of their life and then once they are middle aged will tend to look for a nice guy to settle down with who can pay for a comfy life

This is a very bad example to use. Yes there are many women who commit haram and love sleeping around with bad boys. It works the same way around as well. Men do the same and waste their life along with these women. No one wants a spouse who enjoyingly sleeps around. They both don't have much to offer. Why? Not because they may not have the skills of a good wife or husband.. Not because they aged.. But because they are wasting their life in the ways Allah has completely forbidden. These are such disgraceful acts

We don't even need to be talking about the men and women who are constantly sinning and imitating their lives like the kufr. It's out of the question. We are talking about the average Muslim. Your average Muslim nowadays isn't too good, but there are still plenty average muslims that don't go that low. And if you keep searching harder and more beyond, you will find a devout Muslim.

It's irritating when people are constantly being negative about finding a spouse. That attitude won't get you anywhere. Brother, just keep staying positive. Use your energy on more useful things like connecting with Allah and asking Him to help you.

[kingfisher1]

I will share one incident from my life. I got introduced to 2 religious practicing brothers through another muslim brother who knew me. At that time I was searching for work. These 2 brothers had a mature sister who they were seeking a husband for. They rejected me saying I'm not compatible. I did not even get to see or meet their sister. These are asian muslim brothers with beards. It's clear that they wanted someone with a good job status earning good money. This is just one example amongst countless others.

[xboxisdead]

@Muslimah explain to me what motivates a person from a poorer country want to marry someone from a richer western country. Why would a person leave their country, family, friends and marry a stranger from a far away richer country? Why would they not marry a local person instead with whom they have a lot more in common with? Please explain the driving force behind the reason for marrying someone from a western country?

In Pakistan I think there are 300 million people, why would someone from Pakistan reject so many people in order to marry a foreigner?

You are right Birmingham is full of asian women but sadly most of these women are not religious and have excessive love of money/material. I have met many women but pretty much most of them with the exception of a few are only after a guy with loads of money. They are not interested in a non materialistic man like me. These women were raised in a materialistic capitalistic society and in which money is the god which people worship, even their families are not all that religious. Most asian families have no shame in dealing in riba based mortgages just to buy a house.

When non religious, materialistic families raise children in the capitalist western secular societies, the children for the most part don't end up with good values and principles.

When it comes to standards, it's women in general who have much higher standards than men. If you would like to know the reason why, then please study female hypergamy.

This is a big reason why marriage is dead in the west because women will reject most men because they earn less money than her. This is why a lot of men tend to marry from a poorer country like Pakistan because women are attracted to the higher wealth status of a western man. Women tend to in general marry up the wealth status ladder.

Women in the west are financially well off and independent, therefore they don't need a man to provide for them, and so don't value a man as much as a woman who lives in a poorer country and doesn't have a lot going for her. Women in the west tend to have better paid jobs then most men, therefore they will reject most men who earn less than them.

One of the first questions a woman will always ask a guy, is what he does for a living? She does this to ascertain his wealth status.

The reason why I'm still single is not because I have high standards, it's because sadly most women don't find me financially attractive, I just don't have a big enough bank balance to fund their luxurious lifestyle.

Western feminism and female empowerment has destroyed the value of a man and the family unit. This is one of the biggest reasons that marriage is dead in the west. When gender roles are reversed, then marriage and family dies.

The other reason why it's hard to marry an asian woman in the UK is because most are secular and prefer haram relationships rather than taking on the responsibilities of marriage. Unfortunately are lot of asian women tend to have fun in the best years of their lives, late teens and 20's and then once they have wasted their youth, they tend to look for a nice guy to marry, when she has little to offer a man. We men marry women who are young, youthful and fertile to build families and we don't like women who have slept around. Unfortunately a lot of women will have fun with the badboys during their best years of their life and then once they are middle aged will tend to look for a nice guy to settle down with who can pay for a comfy life.
@Imraan truth has to be told that for most people, there is no hope. Let's be honest, you really think that most people are intelligent and rightly guided? Most people who I have come across, to put it politely are not all that bright and can think for themselves.

I agree 100% to what you said here. Wait until someone call you misogynists' for expressing your opinion like that. IN English class, I was asked to write an assignment that opens discussion and when the topic of single mothers and deadbeat dad was brought up....the female teacher dismissed it as hate speech and demanded that I change the topic or else be expelled from class. I was not political correct in her eyes. So talked about cat and dogs and she graded me with 84%. This is the new society we live in my friend. Like I said, if you want to live in the world of Dajjal and Dajjal marriage then the institution of marriage is dead. Anyone who do not want to apply Sharia Law as an institution of marriage where husband rights are protected first and outmost then the only other alternative is either not get married at all and wait for your wife in paradise or commit Zina left and right and have full blown sexual revolution and extermination. Isn't that what is happening now in Dubia? Last I check, they even have sex with little boys and girls and their sexual perversion reached such a level that EVEN THE JEWS themselves...THE SHAITAIN HIMSELF...want nothing to do with such society. If this is what pleases women and men alike, it is yours. This dunaya IS YOUR PARADISE. Enjoy it as much as you can, because once that heart beat stop beating and your lungs no longer inhale and exhale and that blood no longer circulate through your blood stream.....your reckoning will start before even the angel blows the horn (end of time).

[Islami.Mu'mina]

I will share one incident from my life. I got introduced to 2 religious practicing brothers through another muslim brother who knew me. At that time I was searching for work. These 2 brothers had a mature sister who they were seeking a husband for. They rejected me saying I'm not compatible. I did not even get to see or meet their sister. These are asian muslim brothers with beards. It's clear that they wanted someone with a good job status earning good money. This is just one example amongst countless others.

Yes it'll happen sometimes. You cannot automatically assume it was for money reasons.

In this case it since it were the brothers that rejected, I wouldn't come to conclusions. I've noticed many middle eastern parents rejecting suitors for their sons and daughters for very stupid things such as their race, etc.. Perhaps it were better that you got rejected

[kingfisher1]

@Islami na Mu'mina I've been searching for over 13 years now and I have even travelled 1000's of miles as part of that journey. How much harder do you want me to try?

You know why it's irritating because women tend to go by feelings and they don't like anything which hurts their feelings, even if it's the truth. Something I learnt about women is that, they would much rather be comforted by lies, then have their feelings hurt by truth. This is why women constantly fall for liars because lying to them actually keeps them happy.

[kingfisher1]

@Islami Mu'mina it is for money reasons because I have been rejected countless times and it's over money. I'm a mature guy and I have spoken with loads of women and know them like the back of my hand. It's called life experience. Once you have spoken to lots of women, and millions of other men have shared similar experiences with women, you figure out how they operate and what drives them and boy do they love money :D

[xboxisdead]

Yes it'll happen sometimes. You cannot automatically assume it was for money reasons.

In this case it since it were the brothers that rejected, I wouldn't come to conclusions. I've noticed many middle eastern parents rejecting suitors for their sons and daughters for very stupid things such as their race, etc.. Perhaps it were better that you got rejected

I might even go one step up. Sometimes it is better you are not married either. Think of it like that! For an example, what Imraan went through with his marriage. Ever thought brother (even though I quoted the sister, I am still talking to brother kingfisher1) that Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) knows the sea of contaminated water and is protecting you from going through the same experience as Imraan went through, with his marriage? Imraan is stronger than me, I am unsure about you, had I went through what he went through I am unsure what I will do. I am not telling you think positive like Islami. Mu'mina is telling you, or say things like not all women are like that and you will find that fish in that large ocean, and all the classical cliche replies out there. I am saying, think bigger than that. Think that you are being protected from that large smelly contaminated ocean and you should put your in trust in Allah alone, that he will give you that pure water from the ocean eventually. Just exercise patience. Worst case, you die unmarried. So what? I still wish more brothers sponsor those orphanage boys out there who have no mother, father, family and take care of them in their own homes. Experience the parenting by sponsoring those boys and give them proper education, health, etc. The reward for doing that is enormous.

[Islami.Mu'mina]

@Islamina Mu'mina I've been searching for over 13 years now and I have even travelled 1000's of miles as part of that journey. How much harder do you want me to try?

You know why it's irritating because women tend to go by feelings and they don't like anything which hurts their feelings, even if it's the truth. Something I learnt about women is that, they would much rather be comforted by lies, then have their feelings hurt by truth. This is why women constantly fall for liars because lying to them actually keeps them happy.

Look I'm sorry you have to go through 13 years of searching, yes I know it sucks.. and I understand that you're stressed in your position

But I am not lying to myself nor do am I acting on my emotions. I'm telling you the truth that needs to be accepted as well. Much of what you said, I agree is true. But I'm telling you that you should NOT focus on those things because there is still MUCH good out there. It's pointless to keep focusing on the big crowd of people who have lost the true meaning of life.. Because if you keep focusing on that big crowd, you won't notice the good people who are hidden in the cracks of society.. .

I have seen people who end up becoming crazy due to their constant anger over not finding the right person thinking "ohh all these men are bad now!", "All these women nowadays are bad!!"

If you keep thinking negatively and looking down at these things, you're only going to make things harder on yourself

You have still been searching for 13 years but be thankful that you haven't had to get married to the wrong person and become abused!! Some people have to learn it the hard way!

Everything happens for a reason.. Whether you marry a person or not.. when you will.. who you will... It's all on your decree. Perhaps your patience is being tested.. . Maybe you need to learn a lesson.. Maybe you need to take this as a moment to change mentality or yourself as a Muslim... Maybe it isn't best for you at this time..

I was just letting you know, take it as a moment to connect with Allah, because it's a struggle. We need to be optimistic rather than negative.


If me saying that ^^^^^^ is failing to accept the truth... Yeesh, then what does truth even mean??


To forget about what our goal is as Muslims??????

Ponder about it.


There is a very good Muslimah I know.. A convert/revert. Very beautiful, pious.. Not your average Muslim... Went through 6 years of struggle through her first marriage. her husband was constantly gone, cheating on her.. She was tricked and manipulated into a marriage.. Then she was confused.. With patience

she got remarried.. Her words went something like "After all of that, I finally got it.. He was everything I asked for"

[Islami.Mu'mina]

@Islami Mu'mina it is for money reasons because I have been rejected countless times and it's over money. I'm a mature guy and I have spoken with loads of women and know them like the back of my hand. It's called life experience. Once you have spoken to lots of women, and millions of other men have shared similar experiences with women, you figure out how they operate and what drives them and boy do they love money :D

Yes and I never claimed that you weren't rejected countless times over money. I just claimed with the one story you brought up that you cannot automatically assume someone's reasons and intentions because there are many factors that go into it. I did also claim that not all women care about money. So if you disagree with that and believe that all women are driven by money, then go save up more money so you can "attract" more women.


And btw brother. Im curious on this because it could also possibly be a factor. Since you said you've been searching for 13 years, I'm assuming your older. Have you tried looking for women around the same age? Or have you been trying to look for younger women. Because if you've been looking for younger women, that could be another reason why your having more trouble. Although you may desire this choice, it may be an unrealistic goal. Try to modify some things and work with what's best. You can try marrying widows if you can't find other women

And if you've already tried that. Maybe you can try finding older women.. Even if it may not be as desirable, you can still try and meet some ladies. And if you don't feel attracted/comfortable with them, just reject and move on/keep searching. Older women can still look pretty as well in some people's eyes so its worth a try since you've been searching for so long

[Islami.Mu'mina]

Try using sunnahmatch, they do it the islamic way.. I believe there may be better quality people there

[xboxisdead]

Yes and I never claimed that you weren't rejected countless times over money. I just claimed with the one story you brought up that you cannot automatically assume someone's reasons and intentions because there are many factors that go into it. I did also claim that not all women care about money. So if you disagree with that and believe that all women are driven by money, then go save up more money so you can "attract" more women.


And btw brother. Im curious on this because it could also possibly be a factor. Since you said you've been searching for 13 years, I'm assuming your older. Have you tried looking for women around the same age? Or have you been trying to look for younger women. Because if you've been looking for younger women, that could be another reason why your having more trouble. Although you may desire this choice, it may be an unrealistic goal. Try to modify some things and work with what's best. You can try marrying widows if you can't find other women

And if you've already tried that. Maybe you can try finding old women.. Even if it's undesirable, you can still try and meet some ladies. And if you don't feel attracted/comfortable with them, just reject and move on/keep searching. Older women can still look pretty as well in some people's eyes so its worth a try since you've been searching for so long

But what if he wants to have children. It is preferred the woman to be young for that reason. Even it is advised to marry young woman to have healthy children.

[kingfisher1]

@Islami Mu'mina we men are rational and we don't marry for irrational reasons. Why would anyone marry someone they find undesirable. Women have most value when they are young. The older women who can no longer have lots of children can marry men who have already been married and have had children. As for men who have never been married , nor have children, it doesn't make sense to marry older women, even more so when most women today don't accept polygamy.

Previously unmarried men should marry fertile young women and have many children and this is the best way. As a man as long as we take good care of ourselves we remain fertile into our old age.

[xboxisdead]

Not only that, but they have proven that the older the man he is the better his sperm is when conceiving children and the smarter the children become. You can have a five year old boy talking like he is a 13 year old boy both in intelligence and memory by having an older father (as an example of course). In the other hand, for a woman....the younger she is the healthier the child comes out with least birth defects. If you can marry her at age 13 or 14...that is great. Lo and behold, another example of gender difference...once again. Man I am good!

[kingfisher1]

@xbox I can't see your posts for some reason

[Islami.Mu'mina]

@Islami Mu'mina we men are rational and we don't marry for irrational reasons. Why would anyone marry someone they find undesirable. Women have most value when they are young. The older women who can no longer have lots of children can marry men who have already been married and have had children. As for men who have never been married , nor have children, it doesn't make sense to marry older women, even more so when most women today don't accept polygamy.

Previously unmarried men should marry fertile young women and have many children and this is the best way. As a man as long as we take good care of ourselves we remain fertile into our old age.

Let me correct my mistake.

And if you've already tried that. Maybe you can try finding old women.. Even if it's undesirable

I meant to say even if it is not as desirable.

You can still find an older woman who is attractive in your eyes and a woman who can have babies. Look, I'm tossing out ideas since you're struggling and it seems like you don't really appreciate them which is fine. I didn't say marry someone extremely older to the point where they are infertile

As for men who have never been married , nor have children, it doesn't make sense to marry older women,

In some cases, it does. Which is why some men do it. And that is why I gave you the idea. I think some men would take advantage of getting married to an older woman who he finds attractive if he fears that he will stay single. They'll get benefits: Companionship, being able to release sexual desires and stay chaste, following the suunnah of marriage, woman is probably fertile as long as she isn't extremely old, someone to help him be a better muslim.

Some even do it out of preference when they have the choice to get married to someone younger

I guess it was just a sign of irrationality to you.

May Allah make things easy on you and grant you a spouse. I don't have any other advice I can give other than my "irrational" advice

- - - Updated - - -

@xbox I can't see your posts for some reason

The moderators have to check his post before it gets allowed to be seen by us

[kingfisher1]

In case you didn't know men and women who are unmarried are already releasing their sexual desires :D

We copy the non muslims, that's the norm for most muslims

[BeTheChange]

@xbox I can't see your posts for some reason

Asalamualykum

You should be able to now. It was waiting for moderation.

Jazaka Allah.

[muslimah__]

@Muslimah explain to me what motivates a person from a poorer country want to marry someone from a richer western country. Why would a person leave their country, family, friends and marry a stranger from a far away richer country? Why would they not marry a local person instead with whom they have a lot more in common with? Please explain the driving force behind the reason for marrying someone from a western country?

In Pakistan I think there are 300 million people, why would someone from Pakistan reject so many people in order to marry a foreigner?

You are right Birmingham is full of asian women but sadly most of these women are not religious and have excessive love of money/material. I have met many women but pretty much most of them with the exception of a few are only after a guy with loads of money. They are not interested in a non materialistic man like me. These women were raised in a materialistic capitalistic society and in which money is the god which people worship, even their families are not all that religious. Most asian families have no shame in dealing in riba based mortgages just to buy a house.

When non religious, materialistic families raise children in the capitalist western secular societies, the children for the most part don't end up with good values and principles.

When it comes to standards, it's women in general who have much higher standards than men. If you would like to know the reason why, then please study female hypergamy.

This is a big reason why marriage is dead in the west because women will reject most men because they earn less money than her. This is why a lot of men tend to marry from a poorer country like Pakistan because women are attracted to the higher wealth status of a western man. Women tend to in general marry up the wealth status ladder.

Women in the west are financially well off and independent, therefore they don't need a man to provide for them, and so don't value a man as much as a woman who lives in a poorer country and doesn't have a lot going for her. Women in the west tend to have better paid jobs then most men, therefore they will reject most men who earn less than them.

One of the first questions a woman will always ask a guy, is what he does for a living? She does this to ascertain his wealth status.

The reason why I'm still single is not because I have high standards, it's because sadly most women don't find me financially attractive, I just don't have a big enough bank balance to fund their luxurious lifestyle.

Western feminism and female empowerment has destroyed the value of a man and the family unit. This is one of the biggest reasons that marriage is dead in the west. When gender roles are reversed, then marriage and family dies.

The other reason why it's hard to marry an asian woman in the UK is because most are secular and prefer haram relationships rather than taking on the responsibilities of marriage. Unfortunately are lot of asian women tend to have fun in the best years of their lives, late teens and 20's and then once they have wasted their youth, they tend to look for a nice guy to marry, when she has little to offer a man. We men marry women who are young, youthful and fertile to build families and we don't like women who have slept around. Unfortunately a lot of women will have fun with the badboys during their best years of their life and then once they are middle aged will tend to look for a nice guy to settle down with who can pay for a comfy life.
@Imraan truth has to be told that for most people, there is no hope. Let's be honest, you really think that most people are intelligent and rightly guided? Most people who I have come across, to put it politely are not all that bright and can think for themselves.

The impression I’m getting is that you think most women back home are gold diggers. The assumption you’re making may apply to the the typical village women that has no qualifications and looking for a foreigner to marry so she can have a better standard of living.

But if you think about the women from the cities in Pakistan, there is no need from them to marry a person from abroad solely for money as they are looking for other important factors that people take into account besides money such as piety, akhlaaq, hayaa, compatibility etc

What kind of women are you meeting? You seem to be attracting the career women, money hoarding, liberal women that are high maintenance and only have money on their mind. Most sincere and practising women would rank piety/religiosity as the one of the most important factors and if they are practising the Deen properly, money should not take precedence over worldly needs such as money.

Good values and principles come from good parenting that encompass teaching the Deen and implementing it in the household from a young age. If the parents aren’t very religious themselves, then society can’t be blamed when kids go off the rails.

The way you’ve described Asian women as promiscuous and living a free lifestyle and indulging in haram, then I can say the same can be said of men. Irreligious men and women couldn’t care less about religious morals and values. They just want to fit in and be like the non believers. Both genders are as bad as each other.

[xboxisdead]

Alright, so we did the men vs women and both are as bad as each other. I am unsure how that solves his problem still - scratches his hairs - He is still single, he still cannot find a good woman, he still have problems finding his mate.

You know, people who hate WALLI which is a command from Allah himself. Again, sign of kufir to hate anything that is commanded by Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa). But this is what we have here. Another ingredients of the many reasons why we are here. Yeah, sure...it is all women's fault. Yeah, sure...it is all men's fault. Yeah, sure...it is both men and women fault, etc, etc, etc.

Now that...is out of the way. What are we going to do about it? What are you plans to fix things about? Are we going to bring Sharia Law back or are we going to still call ourselves, "MODERN MUSLIM' which is a religion in it's own. Because Islam is Islam is Islam is Islam since the time of the prophet. It have not changed and will not change and will never change.

Sharia Law NEED TO BE IMPLEMENTED 100% in your lives just to call yourself Muslim...I didn't even go and say Mumeneen...I said Muslim. Do we hate the concept of women main role at home? Do we hate the concept of the sharing of wealth written in the Qura'an? Do we hate the concept of Walli? Do we hate the concept of men as the head of the household? Do we hate the concept of patriarchy? Because matriarchy doesn't work...had it worked...Islam would have been matriarch in a heart beat.

Don't follow the Western ways, follow the prophet Mohammad. Become real true Muslim again. Allah will make you successful then and only then in this world and in the afterlife. Stray away from the path of Allah, and Allah will humilate you in this world before the afterlife and he will make your world empty, dark, depressed. You think you have it bad now with relationships and between the sexes, you have not seen nothing yet. You think COVID-19 is bad? You have not seen nothing yet. The more you want to go astray, the more you will see what happens if you do.

[BeTheChange]

Asalamualykum

This thread is seriously getting off topic and not helpful to the original poster. Lets not turn this into a battle between the sexes and be respectful to each other. A gentle reminder to stay on topic.

Jazaka Allah.

[kingfisher1]

@Muslimah it's not just women in poorer countries, women in general love material wealth, most women today are gold diggers to varying degrees and it's not strictly related to her socio economic status, even women here in the west with well paid jobs seek rich men. This is a universal trait.
Even men from poorer countries if given the opportunity will marry a richer woman from the west to improve their socio economic status. The son of Adam is greedy.

Women from middle class and upper middle class families, living comfortable lives in the cities of Pakistan will be a lot less motivated to marry a foreigner because her life is very comfortable, she lives in a nice house with her family, she eats good food, wears nice clothes, drives a nice car, has a good circle of close friends. She is not gonna sacrifice her good standard of living just for some foreign guy from the west. These women are very hard to marry for a western guy. This is why most men marry the poorer village women because the attraction is based on the wealth difference between the man and the woman, the greater the difference, the greater the attraction and vice versa.

Only a minority of people marry for piety and good character because most muslims are very secular and just cultural muslims. The main motivation for marriage is usually sex and wealth for most people.

I meet liberal secular, materialistic women not because I attract them but because those women are the norm of western secular liberal society. We humans are greatly influenced by our environment and it's values. In the west, there is only a very tiny minority of conservative religious men and women. The chances of meeting these religious people are pretty slim.

I've given an accurate description of most women and yes most men are corrupt too but as a rational guy I can accept honest criticism of my gender because I like truth weather it is is for me or against me. In the end truth is the only thing that matters in this universe, my feelings come secondary to truth. I understand that women due to being more sensitive when it comes to their feelings don't like criticism :)

In terms of corruption, it is fundamentally the system which corrupts people. When humans divorce Allah from their life and become slaves to their own desires and the desires of other humans, then darkness descends upon them and the light of Allah gets extinguished from their lives and satan becomes their leader and friend.

The solution is for men (and women) to return back to their religion with sincerity and take responsibility for leading society in the way that Allah wants us to. Men have to take the overall power back, men are the stronger sex and are better at handling power. Women need to be respected and their rights as given to them by Allah need to be upheld and honored. Every living creature needs to be respected and honored in the way in which Allah wants us to.

In the modern era most men have turned into soft women, the system has castrated them through indoctrination and the chemicals in water and food. There needs to be a reversal and humans need to return back to the natural order of things for harmony to be established on earth.

[xboxisdead]

I love this ending!! I believe we should close this post with @kingfisher1 ending!! :D

[Islami.Mu'mina]

In case you didn't know men and women who are unmarried are already releasing their sexual desires :D

We copy the non muslims, that's the norm for most muslims

Is that something to be smiling about?

[kingfisher1]

@Islami Mu'mina it's amusing you thinking that somehow people live like chaste nuns and monks all of their lives

[Islami.Mu'mina]

you thinking that somehow people live like chaste nuns and monks all of their lives

Did I say this? Can you show me where I said that?

[xboxisdead]

Is that something to be smiling about?

Now, no? But wait couple of more generation and then yes the new generation will be smiling about that. Wait couple of more new generations and even in Muslim community they no longer believe in marriage. I do believe in marriage, but the new generation may not. I don't believe in Dajjal marriage, I don't believe in marriage that follows Dajjal law. I believe in marriage that follows Sharia Law, Allah's law, only. New generation however and the next and next will find marriage an outdated institution. Many will believe in love. Many others believe no woman should be in the same house as a man. Give it a long way route in the direction we are headed, men no longer want to conceive with women. They will buy her womb and many will order babies online with is DNA. He will hire maid and nanny for his kids. Many women don't want men anymore and will go the route of sperm banks, they will be independent, masculine, and live in their own as well. Men and women will meet for just sexual gratifications.

Don't worry Islami.Mu'mina, the scenario I mentioned above will be the norm and YOU will look outdated in your thinking.

[xboxisdead]

The only REASON I didn't go this route myself, buying a baby online, is because I fear Allah. Fearing Allah is the reason why I don't do drugs. Fearing Allah is the reason why I did not do sexual experimentation. Fearing Allah is the reason why I am virgin. But new generations may not even fear Allah anymore and thus their door is open. Your mouth or action will not be able to stop it.

[Studentofdeed]

I will share one incident from my life. I got introduced to 2 religious practicing brothers through another muslim brother who knew me. At that time I was searching for work. These 2 brothers had a mature sister who they were seeking a husband for. They rejected me saying I'm not compatible. I did not even get to see or meet their sister. These are asian muslim brothers with beards. It's clear that they wanted someone with a good job status earning good money. This is just one example amongst countless others.

It sounds like they truly weren't religious. If they were, they would not have focused on income.

[Studentofdeed]

@Islami Mu'mina it's amusing you thinking that somehow people live like chaste nuns and monks all of their lives

There are some chaste people put there. Just buried under a those promiscuous people and so called Muslims. I despise these people who ruin the lives others.

I personally wouldn't mind marrying a divorced woman or an older as long as she cna have kids. But people reject for no reason...either race or im extreme....Subahanallah. I tend to get pessimistic when looking for a spouse

[Islami.Mu'mina]

There are some chaste people put there. Just buried under a those promiscuous people and so called Muslims. I despise these people who ruin the lives others.

I personally wouldn't mind marrying a divorced woman or an older as long as she cna have kids. But people reject for no reason...either race or im extreme....Subahanallah. I tend to get pessimistic when looking for a spouse

Yeah I think the most important thing is not age, but whether you feel like you are physically attracted to this person and you know you can have a good time with this person. (of course, the person's piety is important but thats a given).. And obviously if you want children, just as long as the lady isn't extremely older than you it'll be good

My brother himself is a little more on the shallow sides but he could say the same as well

I honestly could say the same. I'm not trying to generalize but I have noticed many Muslim families tend to reject and not allow their daughters to marry someone she wants because of race or nationality. If they had the true Muslim mindset, they wouldn't do so.

[kingfisher1]

@Islami Mu'mina you didn't directly say that but I just got the impression from some of what you wrote, I could be wrong.
@Studentofdeed nobody is going to do everything perfectly, we all have our shortcomings. The love of this world is present in most people to varying degrees.
@Islami Mu'mina there is nothing wrong in generalising, I don't understand why people think it is wrong to generalise, as long as it's true, that is all that matters. Humans are tribal and there will be some racism present in a good amount of people. People tend to like to stick to their own kind, maybe they feel more comfortable being around similar people.

[Islami.Mu'mina]

@Islami Mu'mina you didn't directly say that but I just got the impression from some of what you wrote, I could be wrong.
@Studentofdeed nobody is going to do everything perfectly, we all have our shortcomings. The love of this world is present in most people to varying degrees.
@Islami Mu'mina there is nothing wrong in generalising, I don't understand why people think it is wrong to generalise, as long as it's true, that is all that matters. Humans are tribal and there will be some racism present in a good amount of people. People tend to like to stick to their own kind, maybe they feel more comfortable being around similar people.

internally people do generalize which is fine but it can get too extreme such as some wali's who don't allow their daughter to marry a man due to his nationality/race

Or being prideful/arrogant and adding bad stereotypes to a race as a whole

[xboxisdead]

But if a certain race have very bad reputation for hundreds of years and the people of that race refuse to do anything to change it, even if stats are bombarded in their face. I see nothing wrong what so ever to be racist toward that group in terms of hiring and marrying. Not because of skin color, but because what is attached to that skin color in terms of attitude, thinking, believe and lack of improving oneself and how they interact with family members. I mean if there is a race and there is a race right now with that stats in America and worldwide where only 24%, look at that number...only 24% of WOMEN not men but WOMEN who get married and from that 24% high percentage of these women kill their husbands and their children and from that race the remaining percentage are prostituting themselves and acting like wild animals both men and women and from that race majority of children are raised by single moms and so forth...forget the saying, "What man!?". Me, myself...I aint going to marry from that race no matter how much you slap on the table worth of money. Even if it is 8 trillion legit, halaal, pound not even USA dollar, but pound and not even in cash where the currency rate goes up and down...but in gold worth. I will refuse the money. No. Thanks. Racisms is a mechanics if done correctly, designed to protect one from harm. Now, if such said race of people do change and become the women and men that Allah talks about in Qura'an, who cares about skin color...I will marry that group of race. But alas, we have went so far gone to even want to improve ourselves.

[Islami.Mu'mina]

Nvm, forget I even said anything.. It wouldn't get anywhere anyway


lol

[xboxisdead]

Nvm, forget I even said anything.. It wouldn't get anywhere anyway


lol

It wouldn't get anywhere now because it is like a man who came from 1750 and teleported to 2021 in the center of democratic, liberal, feminist, and political correctness world. His ideologies will clash and both men and women will throw rocks at him. In order for his ideas to work, he first need to reshape the political and social world around him. Else he is an alien in an alien world. For yours to work, we need to first fix both the political and social Muslim world by having a "Muslim village", meaning a country that enforces 100% Sharia Law where even the means of using your money is what Allah (Subhanahu Wa Talaa) commanded us to use, in the Holly Qura'an, and not this cash money or digital online money where currencies fluctuate up or down. Again, if we cannot even fix this...if we cannot even do that...your ideas is a nice sweet ones...but it aint going to work. Like telling a Mushrish woman to wear Hijjab and pray to Allah when she doesn't even know him or even believe in him O_o. How does that even work?

I am not saying that to indicate no one should marry and there is no good person out there. Nope. I am just saying, it very rare to achieve what you are asking for and not lots of men have this well and determination and willing to climb mountains to achieve it. This is why Allah himself made marriage very easy, because he knows his creations. We went and made it impossible now and throw stones at a man for not achieving the impossible or calling him weak. Like Obelix once said, "These romans are crazy!!"

[Revert alYunani]

Even men from poorer countries if given the opportunity will marry a richer woman from the west to improve their socio economic status. The son of Adam is greedy.

Did prophet saws not marry khadija? There is nothing wrong in wanting to improve your socio economic status.It is only wrong if that is the only reason you marry.If I were to choose between two women who are the same,i would choose the one who is richer,and that does not mean that im greedy i dont care for this world,but i dont know how much time i will be here and i have to think of my future and children.
Now imagine a woman who is dependent on her husband,she wants security,smn who can provide for her and her children,so ofc she would want someone who is wealthy and can give her more opportunities.I see nothing wrong with it if that is not the only reason to marry,and if it is the only reason,then that girl is such a weak muslim that is not worth marrying.

And you said that men and women are already releasing their sexual desires,and ''We copy the non muslims, that's the norm for most muslims''.That is the norm for most muslims who dont pray,who i dont know how i can even call them muslim.And i dont know who is We,but whoever that We is,if they do zinnah they are not ready at all for marriage.A person who cant control himself cant control a family.And this We is far worst than a chaste gold digger.

Fearing Allah is the reason why I am virgin.

No offense brother.I am not trying to bring you down or smth.But what if you continue being a virgin and you die as a virgin? Would that be fearing Allah? dieing without completing the deen? as we know that marriage is half of the deen.You say you are 40 years and virgin,in all these years if you really wanted a very pious girl who would have with you a marriage that follows sharia law,you would have found her.That is the easiest thing you can find,a very pious muslim woman.This forum here is full of pious women for example,why dont you try,but you exaggerate things,you search for the right person in the wrong place and you have these ideas lol that prevents you seeing the good in people.And if she has all the good qualities,who cares if she is a little ''gold digger'' and wants to escape her situation.She has to benefit too.Marriage should be a win-win for both.We want women to understand us and our needs but we dont understand women.I also see hijabis always who behave in such a way that i wish i could spit on their face,but i also see good ones,its not so exaggerated as you make it.
Anyway i am sorry if i prejudged you or if i am wrong,just stating my opinion from what i could understand.

[kingfisher1]

@revert al yunani if you see nothing wrong in women marrying for money (which is prostitution, eating a mans money in return for sex) then men should only pay for very attractive feminine size 8 virgin women who will make them very happy, at least that way a man is getting his moneys worth. This is your logic of defending gold diggers. As women ages her beauty fades so why should a man keep paying for a woman who has less to offer as time goes by, he might aswell trade her in for a younger more beautiful model.

By your logic if women want security, which is another way of saying lots of money then we men want beautiful untouched young women to enjoy. Any woman who needs to put on makeup, need not apply, only naturally good looking women.

The reality is that a lot of men are not rich, neither are most women very beautiful. If we went by your reasoning in choosing marriage partners, most of humanity would end up alone and falling into sins.

In a poor country like bangladesh in which most people are poor, what solution do you offer for men? these men are too poor for marriage so how should they fulfil their needs?

Prophet peace be upon him married lots of women, old and young. Your modern woman does not accept polygamy so we can't equate these women with Khadija. Back in them days men had multiple women, some as wives and others as slaves, so a mans and womans needs were taken care of. Today men get screwed over by corrupt women and the corrupt system that empowers these women, through no fault divorce, child custody given to women, forcing the man to pay child support for a his kids who were taken away from him by his wife and she also takes a good portion of his material assets through divorce.

Now if you want to still be the Mr nice guy for these corrupt women and let them use and abuse you, then go ahead. For those men who are intelligent, and have self respect and integrity, we don't worship women and become their poodles.

[kingfisher1]

@revert al yunani the Prophet peace be upon him was a poor man, but he still was able to marry lots of women. So if we really wanna follow his example then todays women should seek out poor pious men and become co wives and keep the sunnah alive

[Islami.Mu'mina]

@revert al yunani the Prophet peace be upon him was a poor man, but he still was able to marry lots of women. So if we really wanna follow his example then todays women should seek out poor pious men and become co wives and keep the sunnah alive

Khadija r.a. was Muhammad's (phub) only wife.. Until she died. So he was married to only her, and he enjoyed the marriage. You can still be following the sunnah while marrying 1 older woman. Or having co-wives.. Either way, it is following the sunnah.

You say only rational men will not marry older women unless she has co-wives for the man.. Last time I recall.. Muhammad pbuh is a very rational person.. Maybe you should change your mind now...

[kingfisher1]

@Islami Mu'mina why would a man who has never been married before and doesn't have children marry an old woman? especially in a feminist society which does not accept polygamy.

Its a big loss for a man who marries a woman who is past her prime years, he will not really be attracted to her because her beauty has faded, he will struggle to have many kids from her because her fertility has declined considerably. We men like young attractive fertile women, this is why younger women get more male attention. A woman's peak years are her late teens and up to mid 20's. If a man wants to enjoy a womans beauty and wants to have lots of children then 18 to 25 years of age is the best for him. After 30 a woman is past her prime years. If you asked 1000's of men of different ages which age range of women they would prefer to marry, I can guarantee you that most of them will want a woman between 18 to late 20's. If you think I'm lying, then please go and ask 1000 men this question.

[Revert alYunani]

@revert al yunani the Prophet peace be upon him was a poor man, but he still was able to marry lots of women. So if we really wanna follow his example then todays women should seek out poor pious men and become co wives and keep the sunnah alive

He wasnt a prophet yet when he married khadija as far as i know.She married him cuz she loved him. And the sahabas were poor but by today standarts they were rich,or middle class.I mean idk about you but i dont own a house.They had houses, camels, land,were able to travel etc.We are more poor than them.
I am in the same shoes as you, im also looking to get married but i have no connections, or was rejected before because i wasnt rich without even having a chance to intruduce myself.But i understand them, times are hard and everybody wants security.If we expect them to seek to marry pious poor men then we should expect ourselves to seek to marry poor divorcees and widows.

[kingfisher1]

@revert these women have their own jobs and are financially independent. They don't need a man to provide for them, they are greedy. It's got nothing to do with security, that is a code word they use to hide their lust for a man's wealth. Use your logic, she is single and surviving without a man providing for her, so if she can survive financially without the support of a husband, then why does she still insist on having more money?
If these women were religious they would place their trust upon Allah and marry a good man because she would know that Allah is the provider/sustainer but most of them have little to no faith, most don't even pray. A lot of muslim women today prefer having a boyfriend rather than marrying a religious man because the boyfriend takes her out on dates and in return she is happy to sleep with him.

[kingfisher1]

The modern woman does not love you, she only loves what you can do for her. These women just manipulate weak men just so they can devour his resources. They don't care about you at all, they have little to no humanity, they are selfish self centered, egotistic women. I'll be honest with you, realistically speaking the only women who will accept you for marriage are single mothers with lots of kids for you to help provide for them, women who are out of shape and very unattractive that no guy even looks at them or a cougar. A cougar is a much older woman who has a lust for young hot men.

All of these options are a massive loss for you and a big gain for the women. That in a nutshell is modern marriage for most men.

[Revert alYunani]

A lot of muslim women today prefer having a boyfriend rather than marrying a religious man because the boyfriend takes her out on dates and in return she is happy to sleep with him.

I agree,we were talking about diff women but this is true,i see that a lot.But i dont think it is because he takes her on dates because a religious man would take her wife on dates too and give her romance etc.I think it is because they want to feel desired and wanted,they want to fill their ego,and all this comes from lack of faith.You are right.

In my opinion these women want a rich man because society today sees poor men as worthless,unintelligent,uncapable men etc while the rich is seen as the alpha male because of his success.So she thinks look how successful i am,he is nowhere near me,thats a big turn off,they are too blinded to see that that maybe that guy is poor because he has been through tests where she would break the first second.Battling shaytan is harder than studying engenieering.

realistically speaking the only women who will accept you for marriage are single mothers with lots of kids for you to help provide for them, women who are out of shape and very unattractive that no guy even looks at them or a cougar.

I dont think so,many young women in good shape are attracted to me,and i am sure there are marry attracted to you too and would accept you.You shouldnt exaggerate so much and go with this mindset.I have two friends 30 and 36 years old,they are not richer than me nor more good looking than me,and they got married to a 18 and 25 year old,really good looking,who study in uni.So the reality is not like this,and im sure if we keep searching and try to assume the best then we will find really good ones in shaa Allah.

[xboxisdead]

Did prophet saws not marry khadija? There is nothing wrong in wanting to improve your socio economic status.It is only wrong if that is the only reason you marry.If I were to choose between two women who are the same,i would choose the one who is richer,and that does not mean that im greedy i dont care for this world,but i dont know how much time i will be here and i have to think of my future and children.
Now imagine a woman who is dependent on her husband,she wants security,smn who can provide for her and her children,so ofc she would want someone who is wealthy and can give her more opportunities.I see nothing wrong with it if that is not the only reason to marry,and if it is the only reason,then that girl is such a weak muslim that is not worth marrying.

And you said that men and women are already releasing their sexual desires,and ''We copy the non muslims, that's the norm for most muslims''.That is the norm for most muslims who dont pray,who i dont know how i can even call them muslim.And i dont know who is We,but whoever that We is,if they do zinnah they are not ready at all for marriage.A person who cant control himself cant control a family.And this We is far worst than a chaste gold digger.


No offense brother.I am not trying to bring you down or smth.But what if you continue being a virgin and you die as a virgin? Would that be fearing Allah? dieing without completing the deen? as we know that marriage is half of the deen.You say you are 40 years and virgin,in all these years if you really wanted a very pious girl who would have with you a marriage that follows sharia law,you would have found her.That is the easiest thing you can find,a very pious muslim woman.This forum here is full of pious women for example,why dont you try,but you exaggerate things,you search for the right person in the wrong place and you have these ideas lol that prevents you seeing the good in people.And if she has all the good qualities,who cares if she is a little ''gold digger'' and wants to escape her situation.She has to benefit too.Marriage should be a win-win for both.We want women to understand us and our needs but we dont understand women.I also see hijabis always who behave in such a way that i wish i could spit on their face,but i also see good ones,its not so exaggerated as you make it.
Anyway i am sorry if i prejudged you or if i am wrong,just stating my opinion from what i could understand.

That is ok brother :D I am happy :) Besides I need to first finish improving my English and Math classes in high school, then take courses in technical institution and that takes me a good two years worse case three years. Then I need to build some experience, couple of years at least (make money) if not more, say worse case four years. Then I need to open my own business and that may take at least two to three years to be successful. Then I need to save up enough money which could take another five years.

So, let us see do the math here: three years plus four years plus three years then plus five years, so ...so far I need to wait at least fifteen years. That should make me fifty-five years. Then I need to find that partner, I need at least one to two years of knowing that person that should make it...till age fifty-seven years old before I can get married. Yeah!!! I aint in a hurry LOL!! :D:D:D:D:D;D;D;D

[Studentofdeed]

Marriage is just blessing from Allah. If you are married. You are blessed. If you sre getting proposals, you are blessed. Some people have no way of getting married.

My example, I get so few proposals, and they always reject me. It's so easy to get a girlfriend and all that but that is haram and it would destroy one spiritually. The sad thing is, my family would rather me have a gf or study in college 24/7. I just graduated with a near perfect g.p.a. and a top 2 percent on my admission exam. I even got a job now Alhamdullah.

My despecicable family breaking all their promises are now literally making excuses. Telling me to go back to school for no stupid reason. Telling me I will fail medical school or no girl wouldn't marry me. Even with a job, I still can't provide for her. I fulfilled all my promises, and they still lied and insist on me not getting married.

They called me names and hurled abuses and say my brother is better than me because he didn't bother getting married and is focused on school. My stupid grandmother always says, your crazy for wanting to get married. Only a crazy family and crazy girl would want to marry you.

My father calls me a psycho nonstop, and he called me a psycho because now I refuse to eat with them...
Why you ask?

Because I prefer sitting alone in my room then hearing abuse and swear words or how I am horrible som and the most useless hungry mouth.

I hope they burn in the deepest part of hell and they choke on those words

- - - Updated - - -

I'm still trying to seek marriage...yet sadly no girl wants to marry me....not sure what to do anymore ...

[Islami.Mu'mina]

@Islami Mu'mina why would a man who has never been married before and doesn't have children marry an old woman? especially in a feminist society which does not accept polygamy.

Its a big loss for a man who marries a woman who is past her prime years, he will not really be attracted to her because her beauty has faded, he will struggle to have many kids from her because her fertility has declined considerably. We men like young attractive fertile women, this is why younger women get more male attention. A woman's peak years are her late teens and up to mid 20's. If a man wants to enjoy a womans beauty and wants to have lots of children then 18 to 25 years of age is the best for him. After 30 a woman is past her prime years. If you asked 1000's of men of different ages which age range of women they would prefer to marry, I can guarantee you that most of them will want a woman between 18 to late 20's. If you think I'm lying, then please go and ask 1000 men this question.

So why did Muhammad pbuh do it? He never married multiple wives UNTIL khadija died.

Look, I gave you advice, you've been looking for marraige for a long time.

The answer is simple: some people like marrying older women, while others do not.

There are some men who feel attracted to a particular woman who is older. Some don't. Some older women can look very young. While others may not

Is it really that hard to get the concept in your head? I never said men didn't prefer to marry younger women. In fact, it is biologically part of men to prefer younger women. But that doesn't mean all men don't prefer older women. It's called *preference*. Most men nowadays care for women as long as they are good people and they still look good in the man's eyes. And as long as she isn't extremely old, she can still have kids.

I'm sure most men would rather marry an older woman who they are ATTRACTED to, rather than having to worry about being single for the rest of their lives. There are some men who notice that they keep getting reject by younger women... What do they do? They look for older ones. At this point, if you keep looking for younger women... for years.. And you notice that you keep getting rejected.. Maybe you should understand there is a pattern so you can compromise..

I'm trying to give you advice but you keep saying the same things over and over again as some kind of refutation which is not relevant to what I said and the situation we are talking about over here.

[xboxisdead]

So why did Muhammad pbuh do it? He never married multiple wives UNTIL khadija died.

Look, I gave you advice, you've been looking for marraige for a long time.

The answer is simple: some people like marrying older women, while others do not.

There are some men who feel attracted to a particular woman who is older. Some don't. Some older women can look very young. While others may not

Is it really that hard to get the concept in your head? I never said men didn't prefer to marry younger women

I'm sure most men would rather marry an older woman who they are ATTRACTED to, rather than having to worry about being single for the rest of their lives. There are some men who notice that they keep getting reject by younger women... What do they do? They look for older ones. At this point, if you keep looking for younger women... for years.. And you notice that you keep getting rejected.. Maybe you should understand there is a pattern so you can compromise..

I'm trying to give you advice but you keep saying the same things over and over again as some kind of refutation which is not relevant to what I said and the situation we are talking about over here.

He doesn't have to compromise his principles and marry an older women. I am sure if he fixes his imaan and his relationship with Allah, he will get his younger woman and still give him his rights in full. There are teachings that prophet peace be upon him did for us to show us, it is ok to marry an older women, as long as she have good characters, etc. But he also told us to marry younger women so we have healthy children and have many of them. Women could conspire to work together to force a man to marry an older women, but that is haraam and no woman have right to do that. That being said, his situation can be fixed if he improves his relationship with Allah first.

[kingfisher1]

@revert this is the reality for most men unless a man learns game and spends 100's of hours hustling women, he has very little chance of attracting a young attractive woman. Weather he ends up marrying her, that's a different story. Todays women are corrupt so it's very hard attracting them by just being a simple humble religious guy. Women today love confident, bold men who can look at them straight in the eye.

And if you want to strictly find a woman in accordance with Islam, then you need to ask for a miracle from Allah because that's like climbing mount Everest.

I'm speaking from life experience as a mature guy who has interacted with probably hundreds if not over 1000's of women.

You really have to be a bit of a devil to attract modern women.

You say so many young women in good shape are attracted to you, then what has stopped you from marrying these women?
@student well to start off with don't curse your family or make supplications against them. Pray something good for them. Finding a wife in the west in the halal way is extremely difficult especially if you're a young guy in his early 20's because women in their 20's are too busy building careers, travelling, having fun, they don't have time to be a wife and mother, that's old fashioned and backwards. You can try networking and reaching out to religious people in your area, to Imams of local masjids. See if you find someone that way. Long term it's probably best to move away to a more religious and conservative traditional society in which people still value and respect marriage and family.

You just gotta keep trying and whatever is written for you, will reach you.

[Islami.Mu'mina]

Marriage is just blessing from Allah. If you are married. You are blessed. If you sre getting proposals, you are blessed. Some people have no way of getting married.

My example, I get so few proposals, and they always reject me. It's so easy to get a girlfriend and all that but that is haram and it would destroy one spiritually. The sad thing is, my family would rather me have a gf or study in college 24/7. I just graduated with a near perfect g.p.a. and a top 2 percent on my admission exam. I even got a job now Alhamdullah.

My despecicable family breaking all their promises are now literally making excuses. Telling me to go back to school for no stupid reason. Telling me I will fail medical school or no girl wouldn't marry me. Even with a job, I still can't provide for her. I fulfilled all my promises, and they still lied and insist on me not getting married.

They called me names and hurled abuses and say my brother is better than me because he didn't bother getting married and is focused on school. My stupid grandmother always says, your crazy for wanting to get married. Only a crazy family and crazy girl would want to marry you.

My father calls me a psycho nonstop, and he called me a psycho because now I refuse to eat with them...
Why you ask?

Because I prefer sitting alone in my room then hearing abuse and swear words or how I am horrible som and the most useless hungry mouth.

I hope they burn in the deepest part of hell and they choke on those words

- - - Updated - - -

I'm still trying to seek marriage...yet sadly no girl wants to marry me....not sure what to do anymore ...

Brother, try not to curse your family like that. I know it's hard but we need to hold in anger because I'm pretty sure I heard something bad about cursing family.

Also, try to focus on your mental health and improve yourself in the meantime. Many people try getting married thinking it'll help their depression issues. This is not entirely true. Of course it will help, but you need to work on helping yourself first inshaAllah so that you will be more stable and happy.

Keep looking and inshaAllah you will find someone. It seems like you've been searching for long as well, where are you finding women? Is it just through connections and the masjid? Have you tried online websites?

[kingfisher1]

Islami Mu'mina is it hard for you to understand that I'm not interested in old women. You should learn to stop when someone disagrees with you. I live my life on my own terms.

[Islami.Mu'mina]

Islami Mu'mina is it hard for you to understand that I'm not interested in old women. You should learn to stop when someone disagrees with you. I live my life on my own terms.

See, you could have said that from the start. Thats literally all I needed to hear rather than you starting to make a claim about men irrational for making their own choice

[xboxisdead]

See, you could have said that from the start. Thats literally all I needed to hear rather than you starting to make a claim about men irrational for making their own choice

- slaps forehead - He already said that ten times lol

[Islami.Mu'mina]

- slaps forehead - He already said that ten times lol

Yeah which is why I was replying to his other claim. I never kept repeating that he should go marry an older woman

[Studentofdeed]

Brother, try not to curse your family like that. I know it's hard but we need to hold in anger because I'm pretty sure I heard something bad about cursing family.

Also, try to focus on your mental health and improve yourself in the meantime. Many people try getting married thinking it'll help their depression issues. This is not entirely true. Of course it will help, but you need to work on helping yourself first inshaAllah so that you will be more stable and happy.

Keep looking and inshaAllah you will find someone. It seems like you've been searching for long as well, where are you finding women? Is it just through connections and the masjid? Have you tried online websites?

Online the people are greedy and looking for money. Connections have failed. I just my family to be held accountable. I have lost patience.

[xboxisdead]

Can I say that I actually enjoy having this discussions back and forth and reading new generations issues over actually getting married and having my own kids!

[Islami.Mu'mina]

Online the people are greedy and looking for money. Connections have failed. I just my family to be held accountable. I have lost patience.

May Allah you ease with your family

Have you heard of sunnahmatch? I don't know how the people on there are like but it actually seems very good and it is the sunnah way. I have seen on their insta page of posting descriptions of some pious women I've noticed

Maybe you should hold off on giving them hints about your finance and that you are stable.. So that they may think you aren't some rich man they can dig off. Then after inshaAllah when you see she is pious, you can tell her the rest

Best wishes to you finding someone inshaAllah and may Allah make it easy

[kingfisher1]

@student most people are greedy. I'm a mature guy and from my life experience I've learnt that you'll be fortunate if you can find even one person who actually genuinely cares about you. Most people don't wanna know you, unless you have something to offer them. People just exploit each other for their own personal gain.

[Revert alYunani]

@revert this is the reality for most men unless a man learns game and spends 100's of hours hustling women, he has very little chance of attracting a young attractive woman. Weather he ends up marrying her, that's a different story. Todays women are corrupt so it's very hard attracting them by just being a simple humble religious guy. Women today love confident, bold men who can look at them straight in the eye.

And if you want to strictly find a woman in accordance with Islam, then you need to ask for a miracle from Allah because that's like climbing mount Everest.

I'm speaking from life experience as a mature guy who has interacted with probably hundreds if not over 1000's of women.

You really have to be a bit of a devil to attract modern women.

You say so many young women in good shape are attracted to you, then what has stopped you from marrying these women?
@student well to start off with don't curse your family or make supplications against them. Pray something good for them. Finding a wife in the west in the halal way is extremely difficult especially if you're a young guy in his early 20's because women in their 20's are too busy building careers, travelling, having fun, they don't have time to be a wife and mother, that's old fashioned and backwards. You can try networking and reaching out to religious people in your area, to Imams of local masjids. See if you find someone that way. Long term it's probably best to move away to a more religious and conservative traditional society in which people still value and respect marriage and family.

You just gotta keep trying and whatever is written for you, will reach you.

Whats stopping me from marrying these women? The fact that age and looks are not my priority.I had to put my life on the line first,as i was not ready for marriage,and now that I am ready almost all the women who get attracted to me are nonmuslims from work,and the few who were muslims we couldnt fit when it comes to religion...they are either too religious,or not religious enough,or immature,or want a rich man.I am searching in shaa Allah but without connections its so hard,i dont have many options.I like one,but her sisters told me to not even think of it lol,her parents dont want a nonarab.So yeah things like this stop me.But its not like climbing mount Everest at all,im sure if i were to interact with 1000 muslim women id find a lot of suitable ones in shaa Allah.Maybe you are looking at the wrong place,or maybe your ''game'' isnt the right one for them.You can be bold and confident while being simple humble religious guy.There is nothing more bold and confident than a guy who has ideals and principles and knows what he wants and says it straight ahead.Sahabas were simple and humble yet confident.Look at this part of the hadith.

"O Messenger of Allah, I have come to offer myself to you (in marriage)." The Messenger of Allah looked her up and down then lowered his head. When the woman saw that he was not saying anything about her, she sat down. A man among his Companions stood up and said: "O Messenger of Allah, if you do not want to marry her, then marry me to her."

I dont know why you wouldnt want to see smn in the eye when you talk to them.Dont scholars and imams look at women when they ask them questions or discuss? even non muslim women.But if you are that religious that you dont look at a woman even when you talk,then dont waste time searching in uk or europe.

[kingfisher1]

@revert what wrong place am I looking at? What is the right game for them?
You reject women because they are too religious? That doesn't sound good

[kingfisher1]

@revert why don't you follow your own advice and marry an old woman? why waste your life single when you could easily be married to a much older woman?

[Revert alYunani]

@revert what wrong place am I looking at? What is the right game for them?
You reject women because they are too religious? That doesn't sound good

well whats wrong with the place is that in 1000+ women there is no woman who is good enough for you.....i dont know,its your game,but i dont think not looking a woman in the eye when you talk to her is helpful,especially when you are interacting with muslims who are raised in the west...unless she is super religious and knowledgeable...she gets hit by muslims and nonmuslims everyday,then she meet a guy who cant even look at her in the eye,she takes it as if you are insecure or smth...im not defending them or smth,just saying how things might be from her prespective

yeah i do because its nothing smart to marry a woman whos level of iman is super higher than yours,you will either lower her to your level or she will be a burden for me.I am considered very religious from my friends,but it cant be 24/7 only religion talk.

@revert why don't you follow your own advice and marry an old woman?

where did i advise to marry an old woman? and if i met an older woman who fit with me than id marry her yeah why not.Until 3 years older i would.

[kingfisher1]

@revert can you give me the name and address of this place which has 1000+ women? What is my game since you seem to magically know me?

How do you know how I look at a woman? have you ever seen me interact with women in real life?

You seem to just make things up about me.

You mentioned Khadija and you also said age is not a concern for you, hence why I asked why not marry an older woman

[Revert alYunani]

@revert can you give me the name and address of this place which has 1000+ women? What is my game since you seem to magically know me?

How do you know how I look at a woman? have you ever seen me interact with women in real life?

You seem to just make things up about me.

You mentioned Khadija and you also said age is not a concern for you, hence why I asked why not marry an older woman

Man i only said that based on what you said.It was my mistake for trying to give advice.I only wanted to say that things arent as exaggerated as you guys make it but you wanna go with that mindset ok. Your choice. May Allah make you way better than others and you think of you and may Allah marry you with an amazing muslim girl.Ameen
I didnt say age is not a concern for me but ok.

[xboxisdead]

Man i only said that based on what you said.It was my mistake for trying to give advice.I only wanted to say that things arent as exaggerated as you guys make it but you wanna go with that mindset ok. Your choice. May Allah make you way better than others and you think of you and may Allah marry you with an amazing muslim girl.Ameen
I didnt say age is not a concern for me but ok.

I think from what I just read here, before we even try to find relationship with the opposite sex...we may need to start first making a healthy relationship with the same sex first. I don't mean haraam homosexual relationship...I mean...a healthy brotherly bound where we don't reach like this in argument, where we don't fight each other, kill each other, want nothing to do with each other. How do we even form a healthy relationship with the opposite sex when we cannot stand each other of the same sex!? O_o

[Revert alYunani]

I don't mean haraam homosexual relationship

i love your sense of humor ma shaa Allah ... there is smth in every post you make that makes me laugh,thank you :D