format_quote Originally Posted by
anonymous
My mother after some convincing finally asked one of her friends for potential spouses. They gave me one option. I did not find the girl attractive. She said you have to talk to her or I will not looking for more options.
I told her then no. A friend invited me to go to his home country and he will help me look for girls. Im looking for Religious good shy girl. My mother said if you go, I will take your car away. I will curse you. I will make sure you never get any money for your education. You will never enter our house. You will enter hellfire and burn. Your a hypocrite and etc.
I said my mom ur crazy. I' have tried to be patient. You have no idea how beautiful kafir girls come on to me. Want to talk to me or commit zina with me. I reject for the sake of Allah. This is the fruit of my efforts?????
My mother is threatening to cut me off because I'm going to look for a spouse? I'm desperate and have no option. She is a known liar and lies consecutively. I do not trust her at all. She is Cursing me nonstop. She is saying what ever islam your following is wrong and if it is true , I would rather be a kafir.
I'm not following any bad islam but the right one where I have a right to marry who I like and have to be attracted to her. I want to marry out of culture so I can protect my wife from my family. My sister married someone of a different culture and my family cannot interfere because of that.
I'm sick and tired of this abuse. I'm thinking to put my trust in Allah and just buy the ticket and go. I cannot handle this and I'm doing this to protect myself from zina. Please tell me if I should go with my friend or should stay? My mother is liar and father is another level of liar.
My friend , i know that you are frustrated because of your parents but you have no right to talk bad about them . Allah said : " Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. " .
If you are looking to save yourself from Al-Zina then why commit a bigger sin that Zina ? that doesn't make any sense right ? . The prophet PBUH cursed those .
Most importantly your mother has stepped the red line with her words by saying " she rather be a kafir " . give her an advice to stop these words or the end won't be good , tell her it's not worth it to lose your eternal life for such words ! of-course you have to be nice while saying this and tell her that you love her ... etc .
Now coming to your problem i advice you to do the following :
1. Tell your parents that this is injustice and Allah has given you the right to choose your spouse and they have no right to force you into marrying a spouse . Ibn Taimiah said : " Parents have no right to force their son to marry whom he doesn't want , if he refused then no he has committed no sin , just like refusing to eat what he doesn't like " .
2. They have no right to refuse a girl that you like if she has a good faith and nothing is wrong with her deen .
If they refuse the advice then you can get help from their closest friends or people who they listen to and ask them to give your paretns an advice and convince them . And if they still refuse after that you and go with your friend to get married then it's completely OK and no sin is commited and even if they curse you , Allah of-course will not answer their calling , that's what the prophet said Allah doesn't answer a sin calling .
But , you have to be smart and be wise while solving your problem , will going with your friend completely destroy your relationship with them ? or you can fix it later with nice words ? is this more important than your education and your car ? and can you work alone to afford costs ? . I'm not saying go marry that girl that you don't like of-course i'm just asking you to look beyond the problem so that you do not do something you might regret later .
May Allah guide your parents and give you the girl of a strong deen .