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Mbah8961
01-16-2021, 11:53 PM
Hello and thank you
I am from Denmark and Christian. My boyfriend is Muslim and lives in Turkey. I visited his family and stayed with them for some time while my boyfriend and I travelled through Turkey.
Now my boyfriend told me that his father will not let us get married even though all family members in his family expected it. His mum even talked wedding with me. my boyfriend doesn’t know why his father suddenly said no to us marrying. He asked him but the father doesn’t want to answer. I suspect it’s because I’m not Muslim and maybe cultural differences. So we are confused. My boyfriend said he is ready to stand up for me and fight for me. I also think that it would be a good idea to give his father some time. He is sick and had a tumour removed last year – Some days he doesn’t remember my boyfriend, siblings and the mum. So I think he gets overwhelmed by news and new people
My question: what can I do to make his father change this opinion/is there something I can do?
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Revert alYunani
01-17-2021, 03:41 AM
Well i am gonna be blunt,im sorry.But things should be said as they are.Muslim men are allowed to marry christians but those christians should be virgin (unless they truly repent) and should be practising christians,aka following the bible and the rules etc,not just going to church once in a while or carrying a cross.So if you are not this kind of christian,please dont try to change the fathers opinion.Today is very hard to find a real christian,i met one from a village in syria who could still speak aramaic.She was the kind of christian who would not have relationship with boys or not even touch boys,no alcohol no parties no provocative clothes no things like that,cuz thats what the bible says no.So you get what im saying.

I am sorry if my answer makes you sad.I know how you feel because i was in love with an atheist girl and i couldnt marry her because islam doesnt allow marriage with an atheist.But you will eventually feel good after a while and will find your path in life and someone who fits you better and make you happier.

Another option is converting to islam.I know its a very heavy decision to make and it can sometimes take years. But its your only way foward,to explore Islam deeply and find out whether a chance you could convert or not.

I wish you all the best.
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Islami.Mu'mina
01-22-2021, 02:58 AM
Muslim men are allowed to marry christians but those christians should be virgin (unless they truly repent)
Assalamu alaykum, I've heard of this. Did you say this because of this verse? I'm just trying to clarify

"Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure, and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness, and a provision honorable." an nur, aya 26

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Islami.Mu'mina
01-22-2021, 03:02 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Mbah8961
Hello and thank you
I am from Denmark and Christian. My boyfriend is Muslim and lives in Turkey. I visited his family and stayed with them for some time while my boyfriend and I travelled through Turkey.
Now my boyfriend told me that his father will not let us get married even though all family members in his family expected it. His mum even talked wedding with me. my boyfriend doesn’t know why his father suddenly said no to us marrying. He asked him but the father doesn’t want to answer. I suspect it’s because I’m not Muslim and maybe cultural differences. So we are confused. My boyfriend said he is ready to stand up for me and fight for me. I also think that it would be a good idea to give his father some time. He is sick and had a tumour removed last year – Some days he doesn’t remember my boyfriend, siblings and the mum. So I think he gets overwhelmed by news and new people
My question: what can I do to make his father change this opinion/is there something I can do?
As @Revert alYunani said, it is permissible for him to marry a DEVOUTLY practicing Christian. Even then, its just not the best ideal. Muslims should be striving to marry pious people who will bring them towards Allah FOR the sake of ALlah till death.

He should be listening to his parents when it comes to marriage if they have a legitimate reason. His father is probably worried for his son, maybe he doesn't want his son to fall away from Allah. Interfaith marriage is hard
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Revert alYunani
01-22-2021, 06:06 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Islami.Mu'mina
Assalamu alaykum, I've heard of this. Did you say this because of this verse? I'm just trying to clarify

"Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure, and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness, and a provision honorable." an nur, aya 26

Could be,but well pure means many things,it doesnt just mean a virgin.This verse applies really well to the story of the sahaba who wanted to marry a prostitute.Prostitution was a profession,so she would continue making zinnah.And the prophet saws didnt allow him.
So a christian who isnt a virgin,she doesnt follow her religion well enough to refrain from this,because in christianity,even in todays christianity premarital sex is a big sin.But if she really repents,then repentance takes priority and it is as if she didnt do it and is again a practicing christian.
I dont remember the exact verse but i have read an answer once in islamqa and i read that you could marry a christian if she really repented,but yes again should be a christian and not so called todays christian.Allahu Alem though.
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