I am a young male who works in the hospital. Many female nurses or employees show interest like prolonged stares. Some of these girls are beautiful. In my mind I have thoughts of engaging in conversations and asking for their phone number.
Yet my insides are screaming not yo do that. I'm so distracted at work because my insides are at war. I'm purposely stay quiet and avoid areas where women are. My work space is surrounded by girls. One Is very friendly but I still fear foulplay. So I purposely never go to my work area. In my lunch hour I sit in an empty office.
I'm constantly making istigfar so Allah forgives me for my evil thoughts and inclinations. I keep failing to stop myself looking at these girls.
I do not shake hands with them, but I keep purposely tell myself ...that no point being a relationship with this girl because she will be a horrible wife or mother. I give giving excuses and have to continuously remind myself that I am muslim and cannot act on my desires.
I hope Allah will accept my efforts and see that I could have easily done zina million times but im trying. Its scary and my heart is inclined towards it but I still feel desire for them.
I am not like other muslim pious men who do not feel anything when women are nearby. I hope Allah accepts my efforts even if regardless I wish to be with them. Astugferillah. May Allah forgive me
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