format_quote Originally Posted by
ZaforSadik
Assalamu alaikum, well as I said, I want to get married and I like a girl, she is also very islamic and her family has agreed to let her marry me and my mother has also agreed.Because I am just a student now although I have a small online business we agreed that we will just get married in the simplest way possible but my father is not giving permission he is saying that lateron the girls family would say a lot of things to me, because if i get married now I wouldnt be able to give jewelry or have the tradiotional wedding, but both the girl parents and the girl is saying that they dont want to do this things they just wants us to be happy, also my father told me that he dosent like the peoples from her hometown like her entire town he dislikes that whole area, he is also saying that we are blind on love and after a few months we would start having problem, And I know that obviously in a married life there is going to be problem and I keep telling my father everything I can to make him understand but he is not listening. he is just stuck on his theory what should I do?
Walaikum Assalaam,
If you plan on having a close relationship with your family, or even living with them after marriage, then consider how difficult it would be on your potential wife to be around a family that does not fully accept her. How would you be able to handle the difficulties balancing the tension between the two? Trust me, it would be very difficult. You don't necessarily need the permission of your family to marry any girl, but it would be nice to have their blessings and support. Unless you are going to be living away from them and have your own financial means to pay for the wedding, dowry, etc. then you would be putting yourself in a difficult situation. If you can pay for everything on your own and will not be living near or with your family, then you can make your own decisions. Keep trying with your father, show some sincerity and seriousness without being unkind, and inshallah your father's heart will soften and he will take you seriously and support you. If the girl is from a good family and is a good muslimah, and he is still not approving, then do as you wish as long as it is within the means of Islam. Whatever you decide to do, don't disrespect your parents.