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Teenie
05-16-2021, 11:32 PM
I’m 15 and my brother is 11.
I started my day staying up all night and relaxing my brother was very cranky and was mad at something me being my cautious self didn’t realize no matter the time and place I could have a face full of fist. I was talking with my parents and discussing what we’d be doing that day my brother came walking up to the door and me BEING CAUTIOUS moved out of the way from the door and said you may go in VERY POLITELY MAY I ADD and you know what he does he slaps me as if he was putting me In My place and my parents said we’re you mistaken maybe it’s wasn’t that hard like I cried and I don’t cry for stuff like this. How do I make it stop? To add he has shocked me and abused me before too.
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xboxisdead
05-18-2021, 05:38 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Teenie
I’m 15 and my brother is 11.
I started my day staying up all night and relaxing my brother was very cranky and was mad at something me being my cautious self didn’t realize no matter the time and place I could have a face full of fist. I was talking with my parents and discussing what we’d be doing that day my brother came walking up to the door and me BEING CAUTIOUS moved out of the way from the door and said you may go in VERY POLITELY MAY I ADD and you know what he does he slaps me as if he was putting me In My place and my parents said we’re you mistaken maybe it’s wasn’t that hard like I cried and I don’t cry for stuff like this. How do I make it stop? To add he has shocked me and abused me before too.
Sister, your brother is 11 years old his misbehaver is the result of his bad upbringing. The blame should go exclusive to the parents first and at most. Slapping on the face is hara'am, for both male or female regardless of the age period. Two areas of the body that is forbidden to hit in the human body, above the torso and below the torso. Hara'am, har'am, hara'am. Even slapping on the back of the head should be avoided to avoid the brain hitting the wall of the skull and cause internal bleeding. Now I am not so sure what you say 100% is true that he slapped you out of the blue, it is best to see from two point of view, but regardless of that I suggest you seek (with your parent) a Muslim therapy and professional help. No family is free from issues, all families have imperfection and issues. All, all, all! In Islam if someone hits you, you hit them back to stop the action and not to seek revenge but it is better for you to be forgiving (but not forget) so that Allah rewards you and raise you higher level in paradise.

You are just learning that in this world there are hardships and difficulties and for every hardship and difficulties there is ease. Take this opportunity to get closer to Allah and get reward from it and be patient, your brother is only 11 years old, his brain neurons are still connecting and developing, even the angels have the pens lifted and his deeds are not recorded. Wait till he grows older and mature in age, Insha"Allah things will be better for you. That being said, if your parents are not backing you up when things are done wrong to you by your brother then know it is 100% the fault of your parents for how your brother treats you and in the end, both of you are been oppressed and being abused by your parents. If your parents don't discipline him at this age and show him the difference between right and wrong and let him do whatever he likes (I call this major child abuse) they will destroy him when he grows older and he will have a destroyed life. I feel sorry for your brother, as well.
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MazharShafiq
05-18-2021, 02:00 PM
It may be your parents' fault that when your brother slapped you, your parents should have Scold him.now they should be Tighten him a bit.
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SoldierAmatUllah
05-20-2021, 03:00 AM
Seriously it's a kid not grown up.

Forgive & forget- life gives us many slaps so digest one for now
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IslamLife00
05-20-2021, 09:52 PM
How did he abuse you before? did you tell your parents about that too? If no one disciplines him well now, he may end up doing much worse as he grows up.
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xboxisdead
05-21-2021, 04:23 PM
Both @MazharShafiq and IslamLife00 repeated exactly what I said in the last sentences of my paragraph :) One warning for the OP, you cannot do like typical female syndrome do and be an enabler. Non-Muslim women have earned the reward of the world for been an abuser enabler. Like frogs, they jump lily pad to lily pad. I am not saying your brother is evil and your victim, far be it. Your brother is a good person, he just need guidance and he is a victim too (because the parents are not doing their job). I am saying that this scenario could be repeated with a spouse WHO MAY BE AN ABUSER and you have been trained now in this condition to accept this abuse, you may repeat this with your real relationship. NOW HERE you are in trouble. If you allow your future husband to abuse you and you accept it, you are not a victim you ARE AN ENABLER. In Islam anyone who accept been abused goes to hellfire. There is no victimhood here allowed. No been weak and take it. There is no place for that in Islam. This goes for both sexes. If you are a woman get abused by another woman or a man and take it, YOU WILL BE THROWN IN HELLFIRE. If you are a man who get abused by another man or woman and take it, YOU WILL BE THROWN IN HELLFIRE.

That is right, you will be thrown in hellfire for been abused. So for the OP, take this as a training ground for your future. Learn now at this age to defend yourself and get your rights, CORRECTLY, because Allah is training you for the future. We are all been trained young for the future. I think, I know others may disagree, it is great that your brother slapped you. Allah made it easy for you and the person who slapped you is only 11. At this age he is soft and weak, no muscles (usually). Now the training begins...are you going to be victim, woes me, I am a female in distress, I am enabler and women are victim and men are wolves...mantra or scenario....OR.................................... ..

By the way, I don't think it is one sided. I believe the OP is at fault too. You also trained him like that. By the time he reached age 11 you had all the power to train him to respect you as an older sister. Where is your role on that?
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Revert alYunani
05-21-2021, 04:42 PM
11 years old and abuses and slaps his sisters.He really needs to be educated hard or we gonna have a muslim Joker
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xboxisdead
05-21-2021, 04:57 PM
All confirming what I said - grin -. Now it is up to her, the OP to do something about it. Is she going to be an enabler to further train him wrong? Is she planning to be a victim calling for her knight and shining armor to rescue her from the evil dragon? Or will she be an example for us all and not accept this bad behavior? She still can do something before it is too late. If all she wants are attention and people have sympathy for her then please go away!! By the way, I would say the same thing if it is sister hitting sister or brother hitting brother. If a 15 year old brother slaps an 11 year old brother I would say the same thing. Oppression have no limitation based on gender and age. Oppression much like death does not discriminate and we need to have the same hate to it regardless the victims age and gender.
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