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Flos
07-27-2021, 10:48 AM
Assalamu alaikum,

Some people here are unhappy for their duas are not being answered. In my case, I have another problem.

Maybe you remember few months ago I posted that I feel like my heart is dead. I did a lot of prayer, dhikr, Quran, other deeds but hadn't felt anything. So I made a risky dua in order to get my heart beat for Allah or beat at all, with a final goal to get my heart filled only with Allah in the end.

I wanted to fall in love with someone I can't be with and then get my heart broken which results with void and then the void I can fill with love for Allah. The dua got accepted. Allah sent me a love storm in my life. When it started, I was firm and determined and ready for broken heart. And it did lead me to submit more to Allah, to pray more, get closer, need Allah more than before and my heart is definitely not dead, I'm even changing my formal deen life into better, more submissive. But, I'm hurt and very depressed. I have no energy for anything in life.

I know that Allah knows what He's doing and that He is leading me to the best... the problem is my patience. He said with patience and prayer everything is going to be good. But, this depression is so hard.

As I'm still in love with this impossible person, I'm afraid it's not over and that I might get even harder time. I'm super scared.

Now, do you think if I reverse my dua it's gonna be ok? With possibility that my heart goes back to dead state? Just submissive lifestyle with no feelings? Or? Do you think there's something I could do with my patience instead?

Are there any patience tips?
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Sunshineday
07-29-2021, 01:40 AM
I don't accept this, rather that Shaytaan has led you astray. Just because Allah is able to do anything, doesn't mean he will and to for people to pray to him for such a thing, does mean that they are not respecting Allah, Lord of the Worlds. who on earth do people think he is to run things on people's whims?? There was even a previous post of someone who wished to pray to Allah to change the sex of the baby -can you see how are they treating Allah. It is being disrespectful. In Islam lower your gaze, it is not for you to decide your test, you already had one, instead of dealing with it, it was the Shaytaan who caused you to go astray with your thinking, to come up with another "test". Being a Muslim means being a servant, which means being patience-what does this mean -struggling on and trying and working your best, this is why we ask people to respect their parents first as they learn being in service. Allah wishes people who are responsible and dutiful, how have you proven that if you can't carry on with what you're able to do in life. If your manager left you to do your job, you would need to do it-this is were no matter were you in this world, its not about spending time attacking people, complaining of the sins of leaders or anyone, but learning to be content with what you have. No matter how long your Manager leaves you, should be content to do your job. If your saying that you won't be happy with doing your job, then you are not good enough for it. No Allah has provided his message -he doesn't need to repeat the Quran again, he has provided you with a life, then you should get on with it, if you are not content with what you have-why are you asking Allah to give you something else?? Why should Allah give you something else?? That is bizarre, so if you had a home, something to be getting on with, not happy, you think you should be asking your parents to provide you with another life?? I think the problem here is maturity and behaving as an adult, people don't learn all that they need to if they are just fixated with getting attention and love instead of focusing on being pleased that they are able to function and that Allah has already given them life and should be pleased to get on. This is were people in the past were even content with what little they had.
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iammuslim98
07-29-2021, 06:03 AM
Aoa
I think you shouldn't worry much about it.its a good thing that your dua got accepted and now use ur strong fsith to remain closer to allah ask him to give u sabr.everyrhing will be alright
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Flos
07-29-2021, 09:29 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by iammuslim98
Aoa
I think you shouldn't worry much about it.its a good thing that your dua got accepted and now use ur strong fsith to remain closer to allah ask him to give u sabr.everyrhing will be alright
But I'm a bit losing it...It's hard to handle and I became weakened :(
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Eric H
07-29-2021, 03:45 PM
Greetings and peace be with you Flos;

format_quote Originally Posted by Flos
Are there any patience tips?
You made duas that you wanted to fall in love with someone you can't be with and then get your heart broken. This means that if you live another seventy years, you will never be with this person for the next seventy years. In seventy years time you will have learned about patience, you probably have very little at the moment. I am talking more from personal experience rather than what you are going through.

Patience is not just about waiting, it is about waiting with a good attitude. So you have the next seventy years trying to put Allah first, this is the struggle about waiting with a good attitude.

May Allah bless you with the wisdom, strength and the peace to do his will.
Eric
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Flos
07-29-2021, 03:54 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Eric H
Greetings and peace be with you Flos;



You made duas that you wanted to fall in love with someone you can't be with and then get your heart broken. This means that if you live another seventy years, you will never be with this person for the next seventy years. In seventy years time you will have learned about patience, you probably have very little at the moment. I am talking more from personal experience rather than what you are going through.

Patience is not just about waiting, it is about waiting with a good attitude. So you have the next seventy years trying to put Allah first, this is the struggle about waiting with a good attitude.

May Allah bless you with the wisdom, strength and the peace to do his will.
Eric
70? Why 70? I probably won't live that long and I'll be fine in 70 days, inshaAllah...
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Eric H
07-29-2021, 05:27 PM
Greetings and peace be with you Flos;

format_quote Originally Posted by Flos
70? Why 70?
70 years is a kind of random big number, I am 72 so I have some small understanding of struggling for 70 years.

format_quote Originally Posted by Flos
I'll be fine in 70 days, inshaAllah
inshaAllah you will be fine in 70 days. But your struggle could go on well beyond the 70 days - patience.

May Allah bless you with the wisdom, strength and the peace to do his will,
Eric
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Flos
07-29-2021, 05:29 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Eric H
Greetings and peace be with you Flos;



70 years is a kind of random big number, I am 72 so I have some small understanding of struggling for 70 years.



inshaAllah you will be fine in 70 days. But your struggle could go on well beyond the 70 days - patience.

May Allah bless you with the wisdom, strength and the peace to do his will,
Eric
I don't believe I can reach 100+ years and I wouldn't love to live that long. It's like a curse. One thing is experience, another thing is Allah's plan for each of us.
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Labayk
07-31-2021, 05:53 PM
Imam Ahmad reported that Anas said, "Allah's Messenger visited a Muslim man who had become as weak as a sick small bird. Allah's Messenger said to him, `Were you asking or supplicating to Allah about something' He said, `Yes. I used to say: O Allah! Whatever punishment you saved for me in the Hereafter, give it to me in this life.' Allah's Messenger said: All praise is due to Allah! You cannot bear it -or stand it-. You should have said: 'Our Lord! Give us in this world that which is good and in the Hereafter that which is good, and save us from the torment of the Fire!' " The man began reciting this Du`a and he was cured.'' (Ahmed and Muslim)


"And fear a Fitnah which will not strike those who have wronged among you exclusively, and know that Allah is severe in penalty." (al-Anfal: 25)


@Flos Don't pray for a fitnah. Tests and trials of course will happen but don't call upon Allah to make these happen. When you are not being tested prepare for the test to come by doing whatever you can of good deeds.


Now, do you think if I reverse my dua it's gonna be ok?

Yes, and make your dua more general and leave the details to Allah. If you want to get closer to Allah, then ask Him to bring you close and to show you how to do so. Don't come up with elaborate detail-oriented plans that restrict the way in which Allah will answer. Ask what you want and need and leave it to Allah to work out the details. Ask for more Iman, to be closer to Him and for forgiveness for anything you may have done knowingly or unknowingly.


A seemingly unrelated piece of advice which may or may not be of benefit: use self-care to make yourself more refreshed and more energetic in worshipping Allah (Subhana wa ta Ala). Eat well and get a good amount and quality of sleep. I know that when I don't get enough sleep I feel very unenthusiastic in servitude, but it's because I'm walking around like a zombie. When I sleep it's easier to be more enthused.


There is another seemingly unrelated issue that needs to be kept in mind: Right now, the way that most of us are living is incredibly alien to the Fitrah. There may be truly nothing we can do about it at the moment but it is against the fitrah nonetheless. For example, we're supposed to be actively engaged in supportive communities all the while establishing solid meaningful relationships with people. This is a big part of the Sunnah and in accordance with our fitrah but because many/most masajid are dead/inactive and riddled with conflict/strife amongst Muslims due to different races or economic statuses or very wrong ideas about what Islam is or isn’t or what the course of action for the community should be.


Not to mention the utter darkness that the world is in right now, with dark clouds of gloom and doom and utter misguidance that would depress even the most hardened enthusiast.


The point is this: our Fitrah has needs that are not being met right now which is not the way it's supposed to be and not even what Allah prescribed but there truly isn't much we can do about it in many cases. One will still inevitably feel the effects of such a situation and one shouldn't necessarily feel guilty because their fitrah isn't getting what it needs. We will, of course, have to remain patient, but we don’t have to be happy-go-lucky about it.


I may of missed the mark with this Naseeha completely, but I do hope it’s of at least some benefit.


May Allah Grant us all a sound heart. Ameen


Reply

Ümit
07-31-2021, 11:49 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Labayk
Imam Ahmad reported that Anas said, "Allah's Messenger visited a Muslim man who had become as weak as a sick small bird. Allah's Messenger said to him, `Were you asking or supplicating to Allah about something' He said, `Yes. I used to say: O Allah! Whatever punishment you saved for me in the Hereafter, give it to me in this life.' Allah's Messenger said: All praise is due to Allah! You cannot bear it -or stand it-. You should have said: 'Our Lord! Give us in this world that which is good and in the Hereafter that which is good, and save us from the torment of the Fire!' " The man began reciting this Du`a and he was cured.'' (Ahmed and Muslim)


"And fear a Fitnah which will not strike those who have wronged among you exclusively, and know that Allah is severe in penalty." (al-Anfal: 25)


@Flos Don't pray for a fitnah. Tests and trials of course will happen but don't call upon Allah to make these happen. When you are not being tested prepare for the test to come by doing whatever you can of good deeds.





Yes, and make your dua more general and leave the details to Allah. If you want to get closer to Allah, then ask Him to bring you close and to show you how to do so. Don't come up with elaborate detail-oriented plans that restrict the way in which Allah will answer. Ask what you want and need and leave it to Allah to work out the details. Ask for more Iman, to be closer to Him and for forgiveness for anything you may have done knowingly or unknowingly.


A seemingly unrelated piece of advice which may or may not be of benefit: use self-care to make yourself more refreshed and more energetic in worshipping Allah (Subhana wa ta Ala). Eat well and get a good amount and quality of sleep. I know that when I don't get enough sleep I feel very unenthusiastic in servitude, but it's because I'm walking around like a zombie. When I sleep it's easier to be more enthused.


There is another seemingly unrelated issue that needs to be kept in mind: Right now, the way that most of us are living is incredibly alien to the Fitrah. There may be truly nothing we can do about it at the moment but it is against the fitrah nonetheless. For example, we're supposed to be actively engaged in supportive communities all the while establishing solid meaningful relationships with people. This is a big part of the Sunnah and in accordance with our fitrah but because many/most masajid are dead/inactive and riddled with conflict/strife amongst Muslims due to different races or economic statuses or very wrong ideas about what Islam is or isn’t or what the course of action for the community should be.


Not to mention the utter darkness that the world is in right now, with dark clouds of gloom and doom and utter misguidance that would depress even the most hardened enthusiast.


The point is this: our Fitrah has needs that are not being met right now which is not the way it's supposed to be and not even what Allah prescribed but there truly isn't much we can do about it in many cases. One will still inevitably feel the effects of such a situation and one shouldn't necessarily feel guilty because their fitrah isn't getting what it needs. We will, of course, have to remain patient, but we don’t have to be happy-go-lucky about it.


I may of missed the mark with this Naseeha completely, but I do hope it’s of at least some benefit.


May Allah Grant us all a sound heart. Ameen

Wow...great answer...İ totally agree!
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