format_quote Originally Posted by
Questioner123
There are some things that confuses me regarding Islam..
I dont know what and how am i supposed to think....
For example, how long are we supposed to do Sabr? Especially for a woman, it is very crucial. And what if something seemingly unislamic (example, a song, or a band) helps your soul be in a good space? Its been 2 years, I have been praying extensively, doing tahajjud for the majority part of that time. Yet, it seems like things just going down. So HOW am i supposed to think of Allah subhanAllahu Ta'la as the most merciful with 99% mercy and 99% of love, and 99% of kindness and generosity? My mind automatically goes in autodrive thinking " He is nothing but all that i mentioned, to me" "He is cruel"... and guess.. what..? It scares me, and makes me feel like I should end my life.. because, Allah sunhanAllahu Ta'la says, "I am how my servants think of me towards them"
So if i Feel He is being cruel, so I would get more cruelty? So what is the end do it?
First when you have the feeling "I have no more Sabr", the real Sabr starts. Before that was just giving it some time and waiting...that was no Sabr.
Allah is not cruel...you know that just as good as I and everyone else here. The only reason you think that Allah is cruel, is because you do not see the whole picture...no one does...we only see our own perspectives...but we have to trust Allah that everything that happens, happens for a reason.
A good clue for me that you are not seeing the whole picture, or dont want to see the whole picture is that you want to end your life.
That is a crystal clear example that you are not thinking straight....because, what happens when you end your life? are your sufferings then finally over? can you finally have peace when you are dead? are you then freed from the heavy burden you have on this Earth?
NO...NO...and NO....much much greater sufferings and pain awaits you in the afterlife when you just quit on this earth and end your life. you would regret it every second for the rest of eternity...but you cannot undo that anymore.