Having doubts about Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)

[WesternMuslim]

Assalamu Alaikum, my brothers and sisters!

I've converted to Islam some months ago (Masha Allah), and have been overall excited about learning the Deen of Allah, azawajjal. And I've found great confort in the Noble Qu'ran and with feeling the mere presence of my Rabb wherever I am

:statisfie

However, it pains me to say this, but I've sadly not yet delevoped much love for our Prophet (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). When I study his Sunnah, my heart feels divided and overwhelmed: on one hand, I see compassion and noble character when dealing with (some) of the believers - but then any muslim sliping-up, out of ignorance of the correct Deen or a corrupted heart, would be enough for him (pbuh) to wish death and even Hellfire on the person. When I read about Jihad or dealing with Justice, almost everytime, I see my beloved Prophet mercilessly and without remorse, brutally torturing and killing infidels (and even fellow muslims) who didn't know any better. I believe that true submission to Allah, swt, can only be achieved by soothing the heart into it, not by terrorising the people by The Sword. Am I wrong? Because I feel that I... don't know it anymore. May Allah somehow forgive me.
This past months, I've learned to be compassionate and to love others, and I know that Allah is Ar-Rahman, Ar-Rahim. So isn't the envoy of Islam supposed to be a shinning example of compassion and the most perfect of human beings? - Why is he so cold-blooded and remorseless sometimes, doesn't Islam oppose that? Isn't Islam all about helping one another and guide people to the Holy Truth, instead of killing individuals who could well have become good Muslims, just because they made you angry? Sorry, forgive me, dear reader. I don't mean to offend anybody, but it's hard and painful to go on with this doubts.

Even though I do not ever wish ill, and only want the best of Allah's blessings for him, my heart sinks in, and I become fearful, because I feel myself closer to The Fire for not finding myself capable of incondiconally loving Our Prophet. I don't want my Leader, my Prophet, to despise me and to testify aganist me on the Day of Judgement, or deny me to be in his blessed presence (one of the things my heart yearns for the most).

I know Allah, provides a way out from every trial He, exalted be His Might, puts us in, but I would be very thankful for your help.

[Ümit]

Assalamu Alaikum, my brothers and sisters!

I've converted to Islam some months ago (Masha Allah), and have been overall excited about learning the Deen of Allah, azawajjal. And I've found great confort in the Noble Qu'ran and with feeling the mere presence of my Rabb wherever I am

:statisfie

However, it pains me to say this, but I've sadly not yet delevoped much love for our Prophet (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). When I study his Sunnah, my heart feels divided and overwhelmed: on one hand, I see compassion and noble character when dealing with (some) of the believers - but then any muslim sliping-up, out of ignorance of the correct Deen or a corrupted heart, would be enough for him (pbuh) to wish death and even Hellfire on the person. When I read about Jihad or dealing with Justice, almost everytime, I see my beloved Prophet mercilessly and without remorse, brutally torturing and killing infidels (and even fellow muslims) who didn't know any better. I believe that true submission to Allah, swt, can only be achieved by soothing the heart into it, not by terrorising the people by The Sword. Am I wrong? Because I feel that I... don't know it anymore. May Allah somehow forgive me.
This past months, I've learned to be compassionate and to love others, and I know that Allah is Ar-Rahman, Ar-Rahim. So isn't the envoy of Islam supposed to be a shinning example of compassion and the most perfect of human beings? - Why is he so cold-blooded and remorseless sometimes, doesn't Islam oppose that? Isn't Islam all about helping one another and guide people to the Holy Truth, instead of killing individuals who could well have become good Muslims, just because they made you angry? Sorry, forgive me, dear reader. I don't mean to offend anybody, but it's hard and painful to go on with this doubts.

Even though I do not ever wish ill, and only want the best of Allah's blessings for him, my heart sinks in, and I become fearful, because I feel myself closer to The Fire for not finding myself capable of incondiconally loving Our Prophet. I don't want my Leader, my Prophet, to despise me and to testify aganist me on the Day of Judgement, or deny me to be in his blessed presence (one of the things my heart yearns for the most).

I know Allah, provides a way out from every trial He, exalted be His Might, puts us in, but I would be very thankful for your help.

Selamun aleykum,

Welcome to Islaam.

The things you say about our Prophet sas...you really should realize that the things you see as "wrong" or "harsch" or whatever is the direct result of having a lack of knowledge about the situation. You do not have the whole picture yet, so read more about the topic, ask your sheikh or whatever you do to gain knowledge and you will understand why he reacted in the way he reacted.

All of Allahs prophets were honoust, respectable, trustworthy, reliable, mercifull people...with no exceptions.

So the next time you think one of Allahs prophets was cruel...you should immediately think, "probably I am missing some information, lets look deeper into the situation".

[WesternMuslim]

Assalamu Alaikum, brother.
Thanks!
And thank you for the reply. It was just what I needed.
Earlier, I was praying to Allah for guidance and peace. Alhamdullilah, He, swt, listened and helped me!
You have no idea how happy you made me.

Nevertheless, my deepest apologies if I made you angry (that's the motive I got from your reply). I'll try my best to heed your advice.

[keiv]

I agree with Umit

Do you have any specific examples of the things that disturbed you? Maybe we can try to help you understand them a little better.

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[WesternMuslim]

Hello there,
Sorry for the delayed reply, I was busy with some things.
'Appreciate your concern. But, by the mercy of Allah, I couldn't find the hadith that trigered that feeling inside of me.

Update: I have spent around 10-20 minutes searching for those hadices, and I know this might sound dumb, but like a miracle, all of the ones I read only gave me confort and positive thoughts about the Prophet (pbuh). I now understand better this amazing person and role-model and I'm really happy that Allah, azawajjal, blessed us with his existence! I'm being serious here, the heavy weight on my chest has been lifted... Alhamdullilah

Update: My mom decided to use my computer for this past hours, so I'm taking even more time to post this. Besides that, everytime I hit 'send' the post gets automatically deleted (with the moderated tag on it). May Allah have mercy on me.

[Ümit]

Hello there,
Sorry for the delayed reply, I was busy with some things.
'Appreciate your concern. But, by the mercy of Allah, I couldn't find the hadith that trigered that feeling inside of me.

Update: I have spent around 10-20 minutes searching for those hadices, and I know this might sound dumb, but like a miracle, all of the ones I read only gave me confort and positive thoughts about the Prophet (pbuh). I now understand better this amazing person and role-model and I'm really happy that Allah, azawajjal, blessed us with his existence! I'm being serious here, the heavy weight on my chest has been lifted... Alhamdullilah

Update: My mom decided to use my computer for this past hours, so I'm taking even more time to post this. Besides that, everytime I hit 'send' the post gets automatically deleted (with the moderated tag on it). May Allah have mercy on me.

Look up the story of Musa as and al-khidr (Surah al-Kahf if I remember correctly)
in short:
Musa as asked al-Khidr to teach him and al-Khidr warned him that he may not have the patience for that.
after agreed upon al Khidr did several stuff that appeared wrong.
he damaged the boat of a poor fisherman, he killed a boy, and repaired a wall that belonged to bad people.
Everytime Musa as got angry with al-Khidr why he could do such bad stuff.

Later on al-Khidr explained Musa that
he damaged the boat to prevent it from getting stolen (if it looks bad, it is not worth stealing)
he killed the boy because he would oppress and disobey his parents out of disbelief
he repaired the wall because there was a treasure hidden in it which belonged to some orphan kids which should not be exposed.
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This was just a brief summary from the back of my head, you should look it up, but the situation of Musa as here is similar with your situation now.
He got angry because he missed some information in the same way you do.

[WesternMuslim]

Thank you, my muslim brother.
I'll look into it.

[Muhammad]

Wa alaykum assalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

I've converted to Islam some months ago (Masha Allah), and have been overall excited about learning the Deen of Allah, azawajjal. And I've found great confort in the Noble Qu'ran and with feeling the mere presence of my Rabb wherever I am

It's really great to hear of your conversion to Islam, Alhamdulillah. As brother Umit said, as you gradually increase in your knowledge of Islam, you will realise more and more how beautiful the character of our beloved Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was. It is important to have a teacher to study with because he will be able to explain the meaning and context behind verses of the Qur'an/Hadith of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم .

Here are some links to highlight the mercy and compassion of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم:
The Prophet Muhammad A Mercy for all Creation (islamweb.net)
Prophet Muhammad (islamweb.net)
Muhammad(s): A mercy to mankind (islamicboard.com)


May Allah keep you steadfast and increase you in guidance, Aameen.