Parents who are abusive

[Blu]

What do you think about parents who think it's okay to hit their adult (children)?
Parents who can't solve issues with a normal conversation?
Not that it's okay to hit actual children either.

[xboxisdead]

This answers your questions in four minute clip video. if the answer is for the father what do you think then it is for the mother? Just picture this, he is talking about a girl who have issues with her father then think how much more is it for the mother.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_UP1_rGYrU

Now picture this: both parents. You are not just dealing with one parent, you are dealing with both parents.

That being said...you are a female. Meaning, as a female you are not allowed to live alone without a mahram. Have you got married? Did you find a husband who will take you away from your parent(s) who are abusive? It doesn't mean that you are liberated from your abusive parents you can now hurl abuse at your husband, be the award winning wife for being the worst wife of mankind and you make your husband cry blood because of your mental and physical abuse either. Your husband have taken the throne of parents from your parents all to himself when he marries you. So much so...that if he asks you not to leave the house and leaving the house means you will be the richest women on Earth and this is the only opportunity to get by leaving that house you will obey your husband and stay in that house. Not nag him or brainwash him or keep making a fuss that he gives up and says, "Do whatever you want." Nope. That doesn't go that way. That being said, if you find a good saleh husband, who treat his wife with kindness and love her then jump with all force and marry him. Give him his rights 100% and you can exchange the authority over you from your parents to your good, saleh, Allah fearing husband you win. AND your husband can demand that your parents don't visit his house, just to be clear for everyone...it is HIS house.....NOT our house...but his house and this way you don't have to deal with physical or verbal abusive parent(s). But as long as you are living in that house, under the same roof as your parent(s), abusive or not...that video applies to you.

[iammuslim98]

Aoa..parents who abuse their child should be punished harshly. They can cause severe psychological damage to the victim. Its really sad.i will pray for you.

[xboxisdead]

Aoa..parents who abuse their child should be punished harshly. They can cause severe psychological damage to the victim. Its really sad.i will pray for you.

That is not the POINT of the topic here. Everyone will get punished for their evil deeds in this world before the afterlife, ok? So the parents who are abusive will be punished in this world before the afterlife, and the afterlife punishment is even more severe than here. The point is that as the child, you have no right to hit, hurl insult, or even look negatively at your parent(s). Two wrong does not do right. Do you prefer her to hit her parents, hurl insults at her parents, call the police at her parents and then in the day of judgement she will get punished for being disobedient to her parents and get the wrath of Allah, or even get punished for doing major sin and her parents get punished for doing major sin? Or would you prefer, she be patient and only HER parents get the major sins and be punished while she get elevated higher and higher and higher level of paradise and her good deeds are converted to bad deeds? Which do you prefer? I prefer that abused parents go to prison, or be hamulated while the child is victim and the child didn't retaliate back and acted humble and put trust on Allah than read stories of children stab, beat, kill their parents for being abused and then all enter hellfire.

Don't you agree? THAT BEING said what mentioned above to the reply holds true still. if she is living at the same roof of the abused parent and she is an adult then she have to accept the agreement as well and she have part on it. As an adult female, wouldn't it be better for her to get married and find a sweet husband instead of living with her parents and getting beaten up like a punching bag?

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

[iammuslim98]

Aoa, why is it compulsory for her to marry in order to escape an abusive household in the first place. I dont get that.. secondly, do you have any idea how hard and onerous it is for females with an abusive past (esp when its from their own parents) to establish a relationship? She might make the wrong decision and end up marrying the wrong person..she should find a job, be independent, get therapy and then find herself a husband..otherwise she might take the years of suppressed anger out on the wrong person.
And coming from someone whose parents abused her all her life, I wish I had called the police on them, perhaps i wouldnt be stuck in such a horrible place now.. everyone can make suggestions, give advices and what not..you can't know unless you've been through it urself..this is the biggest problem with people now adays ZERO EMPATHY.

[iammuslim98]

And you keep saying that Islam tells us not to raise our voices against our parents, definitely. but it also tells the parents to show love and care towards ur children .rights of ones are duties of another.is it not? And lastly, the post literally asked of our opinion? About what we thought about parents who hit their children.did she mention anything else? Your long speech is actually NOT THE POINT of the conversation

[xboxisdead]

Aoa, why is it compulsory for her to marry in order to escape an abusive household in the first place. I dont get that.. secondly, do you have any idea how hard and onerous it is for females with an abusive past (esp when its from their own parents) to establish a relationship? She might make the wrong decision and end up marrying the wrong person..she should find a job, be independent, get therapy and then find herself a husband..otherwise she might take the years of suppressed anger out on the wrong person.
And coming from someone whose parents abused her all her life, I wish I had called the police on them, perhaps i wouldnt be stuck in such a horrible place now.. everyone can make suggestions, give advices and what not..you can't know unless you've been through it urself..this is the biggest problem with people now adays ZERO EMPATHY.

No female or male is forced marriage. If she want to die single, barren and have no children, by all means I am 100% ok with it. I will not lose sleep knowing millions of women are barren, childless and not married. Allah will create million more who are sweet, beautiful, who will wait in queue for a man to marry, and who will treat their husbands like kings and give their husbands lots of children. So please...by all means if you or the OP don't want to get married and millions of female refuse to get married and want to live as a cat lady with no children and die alone...I salute you ladies do it. You want her to be independent talking liberal talk, and feminism, please do whatever you want or the OP want. You wouldn't see me wetting my pant in fear...because there is nothing to fear. Each person wants to live their own lives the way they see fit...HOWEVER...SHE IS STILL under Islamic law need a form of mahrim. She is not allowed to travel long places alone without a mahrim. She should not communicate with the opposite gender unnecessary. No gender mixing. No socializing with the opposite gender for fun and pleasure. She is still obliged to be taken care of by a mahrim, that means either by Islamic state to take care of her , her brother or distant relatives. If she have no family member beside her parents, then the Islamic state will consider her situation. If they say, she still need to live with her parents then that is that. If the Islamic state takes her away from her parents and they be her guardianship, then she still need to ask the permission of the state for her affairs. She is not free like a bird the way the Western world put it in your brain. She is not a man. She still have restrictions whether she have a husband or not. It is not like she can apply for a job position and work under construction with other men like you see with non-Muslim women. You see non-Muslim women are actually MEN with ability to reproduce..so when they say, the non-Muslim women, that they don't need men. I believe them. Why would they? They are men with ability to reproduce...so what man need a man and that is what non-Muslim women are...men. A Muslim women however, is a female..and she is not like the male. Don't think for a second that if she is not married she can act like a man and have same rights as a man..nope.


Fine she doesn't want to get married because she is screwed up..good...excellent...I don't want her negative energy to affect an innocent man who have no part on it. She might take this abuse and inflict it on her children. Great, I agree with you. For the OP, get help, but you still have obligation towards your parents and don't get married or have children, because like ammuslim98 said you are broken. You need to fix yourself before you think of something else. I have one question to ask you, who is better in love and compassion, an Islamic state or a paents/husband/relatives? Hmmm...

Have you ever seen a government do better job than a mother or father in raising the children?? Do you think the state will be loving like a father/mother/husband when taking care of millions of women and their children? Each night these women sleep at night alone. That is an Islamic state. Don't even get me started with single mothers....

[iammuslim98]

No female or male is forced marriage. If she want to die single, barren and have no children, by all means I am 100% ok with it. I will not lose sleep knowing millions of women are barren, childless and not married. Allah will create million more who are sweet, beautiful, who will wait in queue for a man to marry, and who will treat their husbands like kings and give their husbands lots of children. So please...by all means if you or the OP don't want to get married and millions of female refuse to get married and want to live as a cat lady with no children and die alone...I salute you ladies do it. You want her to be independent talking liberal talk, and feminism, please do whatever you want or the OP want. You wouldn't see me wetting my pant in fear...because there is nothing to fear. Each person wants to live their own lives the way they see fit...HOWEVER...SHE IS STILL under Islamic law need a form of mahrim. She is not allowed to travel long places alone without a mahrim. She should not communicate with the opposite gender unnecessary. No gender mixing. No socializing with the opposite gender for fun and pleasure. She is still obliged to be taken care of by a mahrim, that means either by Islamic state to take care of her , her brother or distant relatives. If she have no family member beside her parents, then the Islamic state will consider her situation. If they say, she still need to live with her parents then that is that. If the Islamic state takes her away from her parents and they be her guardianship, then she still need to ask the permission of the state for her affairs. She is not free like a bird the way the Western world put it in your brain. She is not a man. She still have restrictions whether she have a husband or not. It is not like she can apply for a job position and work under construction with other men like you see with non-Muslim women. You see non-Muslim women are actually MEN with ability to reproduce..so when they say, the non-Muslim women, that they don't need men. I believe them. Why would they? They are men with ability to reproduce...so what man need a man and that is what non-Muslim women are...men. A Muslim women however, is a female..and she is not like the male. Don't think for a second that if she is not married she can act like a man and have same rights as a man..nope.


Fine she doesn't want to get married because she is screwed up..good...excellent...I don't want her negative energy to affect an innocent man who have no part on it. She might take this abuse and inflict it on her children. Great, I agree with you. For the OP, get help, but you still have obligation towards your parents and don't get married or have children, because like ammuslim98 said you are broken. You need to fix yourself before you think of something else. I have one question to ask you, who is better in love and compassion, an Islamic state or a paents/husband/relatives? Hmmm...

Have you ever seen a government do better job than a mother or father in raising the children?? Do you think the state will be loving like a father/mother/husband when taking care of millions of women and their children? Each night these women sleep at night alone. That is an Islamic state. Don't even get me started with single mothers....

Bahahaha ur hatred towards women is unbelievable. Where does it say in the Quran that women cannot be without a mehram? And wasnt kahdija a.s a liberal, Independent womann? You need help man, you twist and assumed things own ur own. And then start taking it out on women youve never met .you have got issues .real issues .you can whine all you want. This is your qadr to take out ur anger bcuz of your unresolved issues on women youve never met :)

[iammuslim98]

Oh and while we are at it, did Ayesha r a have any children? Did zainab r a have any children? Were they less women bchz Allah didn't give them Children, which as per you is the only purpose of a woman??

[xboxisdead]

Oh and while we are at it, did Ayesha r a have any children? Did zainab r a have any children? Were they less women bchz Allah didn't give them Children, which as per you is the only purpose of a woman??

I am not even so sure where you are coming with this. How can you compare yourself to ayesha or any of the great woman out there. By all means, you cannot even come close to them and have no right to compare yourself to them. Putting that aside I do not care if women do get married or not, like I said earlier. I don't care if half or more of the entire female population wanted to be Engineer, doctor, scientist, bank tellers, blah blah and prefer to be single and financially independent of themselves and never have children. Just to answer your previous question why I went that route about the parents because eventually my dear there will be people replying to her post will tell her to be rude, to ask her to attack her parents or people will ask her to call the police on her parents or hamulate her parents by going to the media and so forth. So I wanted to put a stop now from that happening and warning people who may do this, due to ignorance of Islam that they have right to do that.

Concerning a woman need mahrim, we live in the greatest fitna right now where mix gathering, walking shameless, gender interaction and haram things are common. if a Muslim woman where to live by herself, she needs to find a job, she need to long distance traveling, she need to interact with the opposite sex, blah blah. All of this open door for fitnah. She have to find a job where it is exclusive female. You cannot find a job like that without having an opposite gender in mix. 98% of jobs are mixed gender. Schools are mixed gender. She cannot even be in a taxi cab by herself alone if the taxi driver is a male. In busses she cannot sit beside an opposite gender. Even if it is public. Please tell me how difficult for her to apply this...eventually she will fall. So yes, Mahrim is mandatory for her. I advise for the OP to be with her parents and if her parents are abusive, to exercise patience until Allah open a door for her.

As for your idiot remark about it is not the only role a woman play in life, but it is one of the biggest role she plays in life. She wants to act like a man and get jobs and refuse to get married and have children, I will repeat again...please do it. I don't care if 80% of women on Earth does that.....and die barren..do it. Get successful degrees and jobs and become the greatest inventors on Earth....


You still need a mahrim in your life and you still have restrictions and you cannot be a man.

[iammuslim98]

I am not even so sure where you are coming with this. How can you compare yourself to ayesha or any of the great woman out there. By all means, you cannot even come close to them and have no right to compare yourself to them. Putting that aside I do not care if women do get married or not, like I said earlier. I don't care if half or more of the entire female population wanted to be Engineer, doctor, scientist, bank tellers, blah blah and prefer to be single and financially independent of themselves and never have children. Just to answer your previous question why I went that route about the parents because eventually my dear there will be people replying to her post will tell her to be rude, to ask her to attack her parents or people will ask her to call the police on her parents or hamulate her parents by going to the media and so forth. So I wanted to put a stop now from that happening and warning people who may do this, due to ignorance of Islam that they have right to do that.

Concerning a woman need mahrim, we live in the greatest fitna right now where mix gathering, walking shameless, gender interaction and haram things are common. if a Muslim woman where to live by herself, she needs to find a job, she need to long distance traveling, she need to interact with the opposite sex, blah blah. All of this open door for fitnah. She have to find a job where it is exclusive female. You cannot find a job like that without having an opposite gender in mix. 98% of jobs are mixed gender. Schools are mixed gender. She cannot even be in a taxi cab by herself alone if the taxi driver is a male. In busses she cannot sit beside an opposite gender. Even if it is public. Please tell me how difficult for her to apply this...eventually she will fall. So yes, Mahrim is mandatory for her. I advise for the OP to be with her parents and if her parents are abusive, to exercise patience until Allah open a door for her.

As for your idiot remark about it is not the only role a woman play in life, but it is one of the biggest role she plays in life. She wants to act like a man and get jobs and refuse to get married and have children, I will repeat again...please do it. I don't care if 80% of women on Earth does that.....and die barren..do it. Get successful degrees and jobs and become the greatest inventors on Earth....


You still need a mahrim in your life and you still have restrictions and you cannot be a man.

Abahahaha again with your hatred and animosity.man some woman really did a number on you..to have so much hate towards the opp sex .

On the one hand we are supposed to follow and consider the examples of Ayesha ra and Khadija, on the other hand we shouldnt compare ourselvee with them..okay, where did i compare myslf with her? I only asked did she not die childless? And after the prophet saww's demise who was Ayeshas mehram?? And commute was more difficult..you cant defend a single argument with Islamic references..i feeel so sorry for the women in ur life... Ur assumptions and hatred might get to you one day..which they will inshallah. Bcuz Allah isnt cheap like you..and He does not like cheap mindset to be associated with His religion either..

If the women in ur family are so desperate that they would throw thedselves at any man they see the instant the meet them.. then its ur personal problem.


Again, where did i tell the woman NOT TO MARRY OR HAVE CHILDREN?? Its so true, you cam never argue with a jahil..you have ur own assumptions. If english is not ur first language use Google translate..but man, come up with some logic

[xboxisdead]

Abahahaha again with your hatred and animosity.man some woman really did a number on you..to have so much hate towards the opp sex .

On the one hand we are supposed to follow and consider the examples of Ayesha ra and Khadija, on the other hand we shouldnt compare ourselvee

What is wrong with you? Is everything ok inside that head of yours? When I said you cannot compare to her, I mean it as form of respect that she is superior to you. Honestly, she is even superior to me. When I said you cannot compare to her, I mean you cannot even come close to her in terms of piety, in terms of closeness to Allah, so you have no right to believe you are at the same level as her. WOW! I have never met someone...with such....mmm....man...you jus...ooh.

- goes down to my knees and prays to Allah - Alhamdolillah I am not married myself. Alhamdolillah I don't have a wife! Allah akbar!

[QUOTE=iammuslim98;3043898]
with them..okay, where did i compare myslf with her?
[/quote[

WOW..you are all over the place. You are like some person who randomly shoot bullets in hopes to hit the target while hitting other targets. You finally hit the bullseye blindingly, though. Maybe you should have started with that in your sentence, instead of the jibberish you accused me at the beginning of your sentence.

I only asked did she not die childless?

And? Your point being? Me saying I don't care if all the other women to die childless, is my feeling on the matter. Meaning I don't care what other people do. Why are you defensive on that matter? You think I am actually putting down women who want to die childish?

pfft...I don't care if ALL women die barren and never attain the honor of being mothers and never get married. Honestly, I don't care if the entire female of planet Earth decide to go barren and live alone without any interaction with the opposite sex.
For me personally, I don't care. I honestly I don't. Of course, I cannot talk io behalf of other men what they will do or say on the matter. But that is not my problem either. So what is your problem if I care or don't care? It seems you care that I don't care. Why?

By the way, wasn't she the mother of the ummah? I believe she was, wasn't she? Someone please correct me on this. If she is, then I believe she may have been commanded not to get married anymore because she is the mother of the ummah, not because she wants to die barren. Now if I am right on this matter then it ever proofs you only talk from road of ignorance. You are nothing more than a walking emotional, irrational and ignorant person who knows nothing of her own religion. Perhaps you stop yapping and open a book and learn about Islam better. Who knows, maybe Allah will guide you to the right path. But can I be honest, I am happy you are single and barren...phew! By the way, you can throw that back at me for being single and barren myself. I don't care. You can even pray to Allah that he make me single and barren until I die, because I am doing that prayer myself. Oh one last thing, there are more women than men and that number is incrementing. That means more men decide to be single and barren it will hurt women hundreds worse than the other way around. Men can choose to be picky, women cannot. Men can choose to replace his wife if she is the worst kind of wife, but a woman once married and have children and age, will almost find it impossible to find a husband. I know it is not Islamic, but it doesn't change the fact it is happening. When more girls are born and less boys are born and that is happening..it means more and more difficult for women who do want to raise a family to be able too.

[iammuslim98]

Man, you really are all over the place with your answers. What about Zainab who married the prophet at 40? She did not have any child either. There are other wives as well of the prophet saww.
And again, you fail to answer where did i say she should not get married?
and again, you wnt us to follow religion on the one hand, and then high light the brutal reality of this world? she should live with her abusive parents unless a knight in the shiny armour saves her, and considering we women out number the men, chances are few she would find a good guy, sooooo, she should not work on being self sufficient but remain a damsel in distress.
you are messed up

[xboxisdead]

Man, you really are all over the place with your answers. What about Zainab who married the prophet at 40? She did not have any child either. There are other wives as well of the prophet saww.
And again, you fail to answer where did i say she should not get married?
and again, you wnt us to follow religion on the one hand, and then high light the brutal reality of this world? she should live with her abusive parents unless a knight in the shiny armour saves her, and considering we women out number the men, chances are few she would find a good guy, sooooo, she should not work on being self sufficient but remain a damsel in distress.
you are messed up

Talking to you like talking a wall, no worse. The wall at least understands and listen. Life is too short wasting it on you.

[iammuslim98]

Says the man who has no idea what he is talking about..and is constantly whining about how te world is against women and women should just shut up and accept it..it is because of men like you that women like the one in question is suffering in the first place..please tell ur mother and sisters to control themselves the next time they see a man bcuz its kind of absurd u displaying your family matters on a public platform .

An idiot like abu jahl u are, could not justify your point through a single islamic reference. You are like a d*g that barks, and when pelted at starts to whimper.lol.

[Flos]

Instead of answering question of the OP, brother and sister arguing over other things and not understanding each other at all.

Both of you! 2 Muslims are not allowed by sunnah to fight at all! You both are trying to win this fight just for satisfying each other's ego and when you fight angels leave you and shaytan becomes your company.

Stop it!