Peace be with you iammuslim98;
format_quote Originally Posted by
iammuslim98
i had a traumatic childhood, filled with uncalled for beatings, se*ual assaults and mental torture.
I feel saddened and sick when I hear what families do to their children. For reasons known to yourself, you will probably never be able to get true justice for what happened to you. This makes you a victim in several ways. You have been a victim of assaults, you are a victim because you may never get justice, and you are still a victim because these people still control your thoughts today. They make you think things and do things you don't want to do, they prevent you from being the kind and caring person you want to be.
You will never forget what happened to you, but you have the power to change how it affects your life now. They have no right to keep punishing you with angry thoughts, you have the right and the power to stop feeling a victim. You must not let them control how you feel for the rest of your life.
When you accept that you are powerless to change the past, search for a way to forgive your family. They don't have to say sorry for you to heal. Forgiveness is more for your benefit; not so much for them. Pray to Allah to help you forgive and let go. Even if you can't feel forgiveness now, keep saying to your self, I forgive you for what you have done to me and I don't hold anything against you anymore.
If you say this to yourself often enough and over time, it will help you to forgive. When you feel you can truly forgive them, it will feel like a huge burden has been lifted from you and you CAN find peace.
The following story is powerful and it might help you.
https://www.theforgivenessproject.co...ary/satta-joe/
May Allah bless you on your journey and help you find peace.
Eric