I believe this applies to both genders. This is an excerpt from one of Dr Kanwal Kaisser’s speeches. Its translated more or less meaning. My notes are in brackets.
We are going to do an exercise on how to appreciate our own selves irrespective of what our looks are. Lets look at our bodies and which aspects of which we should appreciate. While I am speaking, I want you all to reflect on your own body and your own self.
(8) Nose:
Lets look at our nostrils, look at your nose. There are 10 million receptors for odour, we can distinguish and remember between 10,000 different scents. This has no relation with beauty.
We breath in so much air. It becomes humidified before it enters. Air conditioning is automatically happening. If its cold, there is different mechanism that we are protected from cold air. As air enters through nostrils, message is sent that this air should get warmed up. If it hot and there is dry air, automatically the message goes to the body that make the air cold. Lot of processes take place according to our body temperature.
(9) Skin:
Let’s look at our skin. (Some) people they are arrogant due to their skin color or they loath themselves due to it. (Regardless) in that skin, there are hundreds of nerve endings, hundreds of sweat glands and there are melanocytes that are protecting you from sun rays.
You see its tragedy, in lives of humans when they are not able to appreciate their bodies, those who have darker complexion they want to be fair, they are using lot of creams to become fair. And people who are fair skinned, they are sitting on beaches that we become tanned. When human beings (the way Allah created) doesn’t appreciate themselves, they increase their (self inflicted) misery.
In our bodies there is great army, if it detects anything foreign then it fights it. We have lines of defences over there. They save us. In skin the salt, acidic makeup the germs that come there, they automatically start dying. We are protected from harm.
(12) Liver: I can spend one hour on the liver. It has 500 vital processes happening inside. And in liver all our nutrients go inside, they get controlled how the blood will be, how toxins get neutralized.
What we need to realize is that Allah (sw) has placed so much within our bodies to appreciate. I was reading all these facts and figures. I was thinking this is what experts are talking about. They probably (some of them) don’t believe in God like we claim to. They are only explaining all this from scientific view. And us we claim we believe in Allah (swt). What are we doing?
We are spending all day in agony which we shouldn’t be doing. So everyday we need to do this exercise. So we can save ourselves from this cognitive distortion. You are going to get this thought, ‘I am not that attractive’, ‘I don’t look good’. The moment the thought comes in you are going to go downhill. You get these thoughts a lot in your age when there is that pressure that you are not able to get someone interested in you (for marriage). People come to see me and reject me. You have to neutralize this thought.
How so? You have to look around. You will find so many people with average looks and they are married. You will find girls who are very attractive and they are not married. What do we learn from this? When Allah (swt) has destined someone to get married, then it happens. I know this young girl. Her family just like other mothers. When you get (boy’s) family to come see you, you need to dress, sit like this etc. Don’t come like this. Don’t wear this color. Don’t do this. She would get really irritated that each time my mother says something or the other to me.
Where did she get married? That woman (boy’s mother) she was very particular the bride should be like this and that. That woman she found out the girl is working her night duty at this place. Some working on their night duty, what would be her condition? She would be focused on her work. She went to see her somewhere where the girl had probably not washed her face, be without make up & focused on her work. She liked her. Why? Because Allah had it destined for her to be married over there. When Allah (swt) has destined something, no one can stop it and that person will only make that decision that is in line with fate.
https://sheikhonderun.wordpress.com/...-looks-part-4/