format_quote Originally Posted by
KhadijaKhan
School starts very soon for me in August and I can't decide. A little background, I'm 13 and going into 7th grade. I started wearing the hijab in march but felt that my clothes weren't covering enough/ too tight. Now I've grown into my clothes and my dad came back from Pakistan with 5 abayas and a load of scarves (I only had one before). I tried them on and felt confident in them but then I thought of what it would be like at school. Like 99% of my school is Christian and I'm afraid they will judge me or think the abaya is a long dress and that I'm overdressing. The problem is if I wear the clothes I have now then the hijab wouldn't be worn "properly" because of how it shows my body too much. My family members and friends think I shouldn't but I think it's the right decision whether I get teased or not.
Asalaamu Alaikum,
Firstly it is highly commendable that you have the concern, intention and inclination towards wanting to wear the Hijaab, especially in a place where most do not wear it. Surely then it is a means of much greater reward for you. Firstly we must realise that wearing the hijaab is an obligation from puberty onwards. So one must make a firm resolve that they are fulfilling this obligation only for the sake and pleasure of Allah. By having this firm resolve and intention in one's heart then surely Allah will help such a person by giving them the strength that they need in order to be firm in fulfilling this obligation for his sake and pleasure.
Know that people gain confidence in many things. Many due to the latest fashion trends or they just follow what others are doing. However you are only doing this because it is an obligation upon you and for the sake and pleasure of Allah. Surely that is the test of our lives, in that Allah wants to see which of us goes against our desires and societal "norms", in order to obey his commands and please him. By you wearing the Hijaab solely for the sake of Allah during a time where Hijaab may not be considered as the "norm" even amongst many Muslims then surely your reward is with Allah and he will give you blessings in your other pursuits in life and he will raise your ranks in the Hereafter inshaAllah. By you wearing the hijaab it may also enable others to find the strength to wear the hijaab around you and you will be rewarded for those who gain guidance in you showing a good example to others.
Know that we are only but strangers in this world and we are only here for a short temporary term. Surely Allah takes care of his servants that put Him first. People may stare, but it doesn't necessarily mean they are looking at you in a negative light. Many people may do so just out of curiosity. However shaythan will try his best to put you off by giving you many excuses not to pursue that which you are obligated to do and that which pleases Allah. People may also ask you questions, which is also a wonderful way to tell others about your faith and why you are wearing the Hijaab etc. In which you may clarify things for them, that they may have been ignorant about. Especially as the media paints a lot of negative light on many aspects of our faith, including the reason why women wear Hijaab.
However know that you will also have a lot of people that will be very supportive of you, commenting on how beautiful you look and the respect they have for you in terms of your modesty. So you must try to be strong and not be affected by other people's opinion's of you, especially if they are negative opinions. However the most negative voices will be in your own head. Just ignore them as you are only doing what you are doing as an obligation upon you and because it pleases Allah. The negative voices will eventually dissipate. So do not allow the negative comments and voices to affect you. Also make sure that you wear the Hijaab in the way it is meant to be worn which is to also wear loose fitted clothing and not to wear it as a fashion accessory which unfortunately it has become for many.
Therefore, you have to know yourself and find your identity in a world that wants you to be the same as everyone else and improve on being the best version of yourself. In a similar way, people that actually matter will look at what is beyond your appearance. They should look at you for who you are and not what you are wearing. So don't worry about what others may think of you. As long as you know what you are doing is right and that you are fulfilling your obligation unto Allah and only doing it to please him. Trials and hurdles will come your way just as we all face in various ways throughout our lives. But just take it in your stride and have it in your mind all the time why you are doing this. Most importantly keep good company. This is the most important thing because if we keep bad company then we will eventually be influenced by the company we keep. We will eventually become who we keep as company. So keep the company of good Females in your School, especially those with good characters and not of those who openly indulge in sin, nor of those who constantly backbite, slander, gossip and whose behaviour is not good. Outside of School keep company with good Muslim sisters as much as you can, for having good company is also your strength and support network in your pursuit to becoming a better Muslim in obeying Allah and doing everything that pleases him and staying away from anything that may anger and displease him.
You know you are doing something right when the shaythan keeps coming at you and attacking you in various ways, especially when he tries to make you feel like your "missing out" and tries to make you feel self conscious about your hair and hijaab and that he says to you but your not dressing modestly anyway so what's the point you may as well just show your hair. Know that these are from the tricks of shaythan to try and put you off so that eventually you end up taking off your hijaab completely. So completely ignore him and always have the purpose of why you are wearing the hijaab in the first place foremost in your mind. You've taken the first step and gradually you will also take further steps too like with your dress etc inshaAllah.
Surely you are only doing this to please Allah. Everything good that we do is only to please him. We care not about what others may think or say as we are not doing it for them. Once we have this ingrained in our minds then nothing anyone says nor what the shaythan whispers will affect us. To help ourselves further we must also ensure that we are praying all of our 5 prayers on time, especially at School, as you can do so during your break times. Also keep good company within School and outside of School as we will be influenced by the company that we keep. We should try our best to busy ourselves in doing good acts as much as possible, so that our minds are preoccupied with good which gives shaythan less opportunity to mess with our minds with any negativity.
I hope the following videos also helps inshaAllah:
https://youtu.be/b6n3EupehBc
https://youtu.be/1FFX57bIrZ8
https://youtu.be/pUbkHEGiLyI
May Allah make it easy for you and make this a means of your closeness to him. Ameen