format_quote Originally Posted by
Labayk
Sister, you are on a path of deprivation. Abstaining from being a pious, devoted wife will hurt, more than anyone else, yourself. You need a man in your life sooner or later. You need a man who will watch your back and look out you, who will take care of you. But in order to have that, such a man, also will have needs. He will have the need to be respected and followed.
An engineering degree isn't going to help with loneliness which if you can endure for now, will get worse with time.
You are the one who will decide whom to marry and whom to not marry. One of the best advices I can give is to make istikharah always when contemplating a suitor. But devote yourself to the man whom you choose. What's wrong with obeying a man who cares about you and has your best interests at heart?
It is not fair or sensible to blame all of mankind for the behavior of your father. Like what was said earlier, the Prophets were men and the best of creation so look for a man who tries his level best to follow them. He will still have faults but there will be good in him.
In the end, this anti-marriage, anti-man stance of yours is going to hurt you the most and if you ever do get married, it will hurt your marriage and if kids ever come into the scene, they will be harmed too.
May Allah Grant you a good husband and make you a good wife
Well, I always say if women want to be independent I am not stopping them. However, the only definition of independent women who don't need men must meet these creteria:
1) Never, ever, ever, ever have any relationship with a man the rest of your life. Never look for love, intemacy, relationship with a man, laugh with a man, or do any form of intemacy or relationship with a man...even if it is zina. You will live in a world where men don't exist and you are sorrounded in a world of female only for the rest of your life. Because..if you have to deal with men in business and work under him..then you need him for his money...that goes against not needing men. So you must follow this 100% in order to fit the definition of not needing men.
2) You work, study, get a degree, find job, earn income in an all female enivornment. Having a male teacher teaching you means you need him to teach you and he is a man..so you end up needing men. We cannot have that if you don't want to live in a world of men..then you have to live in a world of female. An all female society. TVs all female, radios all female, school all female, house all female, work all female, doctors all female. Here you have proven you don't need men..then you no longer have to be under a man's control..because you are not living in a paitraich society....you are living a maitraich society instead. A society ruled by female for female only.
3) Now that you work by yourself, study by yourself, earn incoming by yourself...you have proven without shadow of a doubt, in an all female society, you don't need men. Now comes for sexual pleasure. Women have needs though. You go lesbian. Not need men for sexual gradification only means you have to be lesbian.
4) Procreation. Now time to make babies. You cannot use sperm from the sperm bank because it comes from a man. You have to make babies with other women. Maybe, if you check with a female scientist who can turn the egg of a woman into a functioning sperm...then you can have babies with other women? Bare in mind...if it is successful, sperm from women are all X chromosomes. Women cannot produce Y chromosome. Y chromosome can only come from a man. So here all your babies will be 100% girls...you cannot have boys at all if you make babies with other women. But..if you want to live in a world without men..this is not a problem for you.
So in conlcusion, you work, study, earn income in your own, and have sexual relationship with women and birth only baby girls from other women and live in a society run by women for women and only women, where women build buildings, build weapons, find cure for diseases, hunt, fight in battle and carry heavy objects, is the only way I believe in my heart without shadow of a doubt that the OP don't need men and be liberated from men.
While this may sound utopia for lots of ladies out there to live in a world run by women for women and only women, the most violent mental and physical as well as sexual abuse comes from lesbian relationship. Not even gay relationship (men with men), but actually women with women. If the OP or any anti-male, feminist women want to live in that "utopian" world....please....be my guest. However, I have heard lots of stories of daughters stab, murder and torture their mothers. I don't think just because your baby is of the same sex it is paradise for you. Just saying.
Assuming you are happy in this world I mentioned about and live it, you are still going to hell..........so really.........