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naasiaah
02-17-2006, 04:11 PM
I WANT A WALI BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET ONE.I WANT TO KNOW IF MY WALI WOULD TRY TO MARRY ME AND IF THERE IS SOMETHING SUCH AS CLOTHING OR GARMENTS THAT I NEED IS MY WALI SUPPOSED TO GET ME THOSE THINGS.PLEASE HELP.:thankyou:
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atha
02-17-2006, 10:13 PM
Assalam-u-Alaikum

Kindly read this article.

http://www.imanway.com/en/showthread.php?t=1620

A woman’s walee is her father, then whoever her father may have appointed before his death, then her paternal grandfather or great-grandfather, then her son, then her grandfathers sons or grandsons, then her brother through both parents (full brother), then her brother through her father, then the sons of her brother through both parents, then the sons of her brother through her father, then her uncle (her father’s brother through both parents), then her father’s brother through the father, then the sons of her father’s brother though both parents, then the sons of her father’s brother through the father, then whoever is more closely related, and so on – as is the case with inheritance. The Muslim leader (or his deputy, such as a qaadi or judge) is the walee for any woman who does not have a walee of her own.
(Quote from article "Conditions for the marriage contract in Islam" from the above URL)

So if you don't find anyone as described above, then look for an imam to be your wali. Go to the local mosque and ask the imam. Also the wali has to have the same religion as you do.

I don't think the wali is suppose to marry you. He serves a different purpose as indicated in the readings.

A husband is suppose to provide for clothes and bare necessaties of his wife according to his means.

I hope this helps.

Take care
Assalam-u-Alaikum
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Sis_ReNa
02-17-2006, 10:59 PM
and what if your not a born muslim and you live in a area where there are no muslims. and the nearest Imam said he wont or cant help?:sister:
salam walakum wr wb
a sister who is all so trying to get married.
Rena
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taebah
02-19-2006, 01:56 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Sis_ReNa
and what if your not a born muslim and you live in a area where there are no muslims. and the nearest Imam said he wont or cant help?:sister:
salam walakum wr wb
a sister who is all so trying to get married.
Rena

Assalamu aliakum Sister,

"The fuqahaa’ put possible walees in a certain order, and a walee who is more closely-related should not be ignored unless there is no such person or the relatives do not meet the specified conditions. A woman’s walee is her father, then whoever her father may have appointed before his death, then her paternal grandfather or great-grandfather, then her son, then her grandfathers sons or grandsons, then her brother through both parents (full brother), then her brother through her father, then the sons of her brother through both parents, then the sons of her brother through her father, then her uncle (her father’s brother through both parents), then her father’s brother through the father, then the sons of her father’s brother though both parents, then the sons of her father’s brother through the father, then whoever is more closely related, and so on – as is the case with inheritance. The Muslim leader (or his deputy, such as a qaadi or judge) is the walee for any woman who does not have a walee of her own."
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Hisbul_Aziz
02-19-2006, 02:16 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by atha
Assalam-u-Alaikum

Kindly read this article.

http://www.imanway.com/en/showthread.php?t=1620

A woman’s walee is her father, then whoever her father may have appointed before his death, then her paternal grandfather or great-grandfather, then her son, then her grandfathers sons or grandsons, then her brother through both parents (full brother), then her brother through her father, then the sons of her brother through both parents, then the sons of her brother through her father, then her uncle (her father’s brother through both parents), then her father’s brother through the father, then the sons of her father’s brother though both parents, then the sons of her father’s brother through the father, then whoever is more closely related, and so on – as is the case with inheritance. The Muslim leader (or his deputy, such as a qaadi or judge) is the walee for any woman who does not have a walee of her own.
(Quote from article "Conditions for the marriage contract in Islam" from the above URL)

So if you don't find anyone as described above, then look for an imam to be your wali. Go to the local mosque and ask the imam. Also the wali has to have the same religion as you do.

I don't think the wali is suppose to marry you. He serves a different purpose as indicated in the readings.

A husband is suppose to provide for clothes and bare necessaties of his wife according to his means.

I hope this helps.

Take care
Assalam-u-Alaikum
il be ur wali for the small price of $100 per men u want to marry

i might reject them all for the money lol ;D;D;D;D

jk

Inshaalllah u will have a good husband
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akulion
02-19-2006, 02:32 AM
Q) Where do you find Walis ?

A) On Wali Street (Wall street)

lol

Sis the best option for you would be to go to your mosque and ask the imam to be your wali or elect a wali for you.

Please do not that this should only be done in the circumstance that none of your relatives are Muslims.

If you have Muslim parents or uncles and aunts you can ask them to be your wali.

The only duty incumbant upon the wali is to provide you with a background of the person you may be interested in. Or to suggest suitable marriage partners to you. He is not obligated in any way to you financially.

As for clothes, etc etc - you can ask for all those thing in you Mahr from your Fiancee.

Mahr is something which is a right granted by Allah swt to the woman. A woman may ask anything in mahr weter it be gold, money, clothes, or the mx of all of those. You can also ask for knowledge in mahr. Mahr can also be waived (let go of completely). But it is your right if you wish to ask for mahr.

Hope that little bit of knowledge helped you.

Please feel free to ask any questions you may wish insha'Allah.
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Hisbul_Aziz
02-19-2006, 03:22 AM
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Reply

Sis_ReNa
02-19-2006, 02:06 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by akulion
Q) Where do you find Walis ?

A) On Wali Street (Wall street)

lol

Sis the best option for you would be to go to your mosque and ask the imam to be your wali or elect a wali for you.

Please do not that this should only be done in the circumstance that none of your relatives are Muslims.

If you have Muslim parents or uncles and aunts you can ask them to be your wali.

The only duty incumbant upon the wali is to provide you with a background of the person you may be interested in. Or to suggest suitable marriage partners to you. He is not obligated in any way to you financially.

As for clothes, etc etc - you can ask for all those thing in you Mahr from your Fiancee.

Mahr is something which is a right granted by Allah swt to the woman. A woman may ask anything in mahr weter it be gold, money, clothes, or the mx of all of those. You can also ask for knowledge in mahr. Mahr can also be waived (let go of completely). But it is your right if you wish to ask for mahr.

Hope that little bit of knowledge helped you.

Please feel free to ask any questions you may wish insha'Allah.
Salam walakum wr wb
I have gone to the imam near me that is 91 miles and he said no. I live in the usa so iam sure no goverment offical is going to care or be muslim to help me. the next nearest wali is 3 hours away. aany ways i will keep my head up maybe its just not time
Rena
Reply

akulion
02-19-2006, 03:02 PM
Dear Sis Rena,

If in your case you are unable to find a wali for yourself and you still wish very much to get married. Then you may further enlist the help of a friend or neighbour. However please note that the friend / neighbour will have to be explained that they are to act in the capacity of a "chaperon"

You must explain to them the basic principles of Islamic courtship so that they can understand what they need to look out for.

The basic of things which need to be evaluated in your prospective future husband / wife are as follows:

- Are they honest in their business dealings?

Explanation: Khadijah (ra) appointed one of her servants to accompany Prophet Mohammed(s) on a business trip so that he could witness if he was a fair business man or not.

- Are they courteous and well behaved?

Explanation: The prophet (s) said, The best amongst you is he who is gentle to the kids and respectful to the elder. Furthermore he also said, the best amongst you is the one who is gentle with the people of his household.

- Are they practicing Muslims?

Explanation: The Prophet (s) said, A person may marry for beauty, for wealth, or for piety. The best out of them is Piety (religious character).

Apart from this Once a man expressed his opinion about another man in the presence of the Prophet (s).
The Prophet(s) asked him, Have you travelled with him?
the man replied no.
the Prophet asked, have you sat and eaten with him?
The man replied No
The Prophet asked have you dealt with him in business?
The man replied No
So the Prophet(s) said, then you have no right to hold an opinion about that man.

So ask your neighbour or friend to do these 3 things since there is great wisdom in them.

- Travelling with the man: whilst travelling we are often constrained and eedgy. Such an experience will show how the person behaves under stressful circumstances and wether they maintain their Islamic character or forget about them altogether. (Fact: Some Muslims even shift to other western countries and completely give up praying or stop coering)
So this aspect can be tested with maybe a small trip to somewhere.

Eating with the man: This will give you a fair idea of how hospitable and mannered this person is. Are they stingy? are they ill mannered whle eating? Do they care about the other more than themselves? Or are they jumping in to eat first not caring about the others?

Dealing with the man in business: This is a test of both wisdom and of integrity. Wil the man try and cheat or steal? Will the man hide facts in selling or buying things? Will the man be fair in giving or taking a price for the goods? Will the man deal with intellect or just blindly make decisions?

So Insha'Allah hopefully the above suggestions can help you out.
Reply

Sis_ReNa
02-19-2006, 03:09 PM
MashAllah thankyou and may Allah bless you and guide you. Anything is possible with Allah.... my sisuation is werid... its ok i will just take my time. when its time Allah will show me but iam going to have a brithday soon and you know the old saying my clock is clicking LOL. any ways. thankyou and iam sorry i took the topic over. but my sisuation is soo diffrent no one has been able to give me a good solution. and cus of recent issues i think i would be hard to trust someone eles to find me a husband. any ways
salam walakum wr wb
may Allah bless guide and protect you all ameen
Rena
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akulion
02-19-2006, 03:10 PM
ops sorry wrote that 2wice

editing

ur welcome sis
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Kittygyal
02-19-2006, 03:12 PM
ppl can sum1 tell me wot wali is plz :(

take care
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Sis_ReNa
02-19-2006, 03:15 PM
salam walakum not really bro cus i dont live in a area where there are many muslims. only 2 the other one is gone working all the time. and the 2 are woman cant be my wali and they are not married so there husbands cant be my wali so i have no neghibor and even if i did i dont know any muslims that are looking. i would assume that is what the job of a wali is. is to find the brother? i think i just need to move LOL.... if anything i have learned is nothing is fool proof except faith in Allah. i dont know what to say >>> but i appercate your time mashAllah may Allah reward you ameen
rena
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Sis_ReNa
02-19-2006, 03:18 PM
from my understanding a wali is a person who helps (gardian) find you a husband "hala" way on your behalf. gets to know the person. finds out if the brother is who he says he is. and talks for you. cus a man and woman shouldnt be a lone talking cus there is a thrid person and that is shaytan. and the wali is suppose to be there so inshAllah there is no fitnah and keep everyone on track which is marriage. now iam new to islam and that is what i picked up soo far.
may Allah bless you ameen
Rena
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akulion
02-19-2006, 03:28 PM
oki doki sis

May Allah swt help you find a spouce ameen

If nothing is possible at the moment then have patience until a solution presents itself:)
Reply

Sis_ReNa
02-19-2006, 03:40 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by akulion
oki doki sis

May Allah swt help you find a spouce ameen

If nothing is possible at the moment then have patience until a solution presents itself:)
that is the hardest part tho having sabr LOL i think that is why so many are going to the internet and not waiting for a wali. i know a sister that got married over the internet. LOL i dont know i want to do it as halal as possible. i only want to marry once iam kinda werid like that. any ways thankyou again may Allah bless you
ameen
rena
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akulion
02-19-2006, 03:45 PM
Well sis the Sabr part is not as hard as you may imagine. Busy yourself in various ways and dont think about marriage too much.

- Learn a new skill
- Learn Quran
- Do extra ibidah
- Take up a hobby

so many ways

The more you think about it the more you will feel agitated
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