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aljawaad
02-22-2006, 11:05 AM
:sl:
I thought of opening this thread so that anyone who got fatwa concerning marriage can post it here. Thus we won't need to open too many thread regarding marriage.

:w:
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aljawaad
02-22-2006, 11:08 AM
Question: Is it true that giving an engagement ring is unlawful in Islam? Please explain your answer.
I believe that engagement rings are not unlawful, but I prefer them to be avoided, because of some superstitions that are sometimes associated with them.

The practice of giving engagement rings is a new one and thus not addressed by the classical works of Islamic Law. However, there are three situations with respect to those who adhere to this practice, and these situations affect the ruling that must be given.

1. Some people vest in such rings certain powers and believe that they create love in the couple's hearts and that removal of the rings will lead to separation or hatred. In this case, use of these rings is expressly forbidden, since it constitutes a case of minor polytheism. The reason for this being polytheism is that the people give effective power in something that is neither a religious nor a natural cause for anything.

2. If the engagement ring is made of gold, then the man may not wear it, since it is forbidden for men to wear gold. The woman, however, may have her ring made out of gold.

3. In cases where there are no beliefs associated with the rings and where the man will not be wearing a gold ring, then scholars disagree whether it is permitted but disliked for being a new and baseless practice or whether it is permissible without reservation as a harmless custom.

It does not have to be prohibited on account of being a custom of the unbelievers, since the custom is widespread in most Muslim countries.

As I said before, I do not deem it prohibited, but I warn against it, especially if it has a chance of bringing about those false beliefs mentioned above.

Answered by Sheikh Salman al-Oadah
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aljawaad
02-22-2006, 11:11 AM
Question: Can a woman have it stipulated in the marriage contract that her husband-to-be will be barred from marrying another wife? Is it allowed in the same scenario above, that her husband-to-be can be temporarily barred from contracting a second marriage, in a span of, let's say, 10 years?
The woman may stipulate a condition in the marriage contract that her husband may not marry another woman. Such a condition must be made before the marriage contract or while executing it.

If the man violates this condition, then the woman will have the right to terminate the marriage contract.

And Allah knows best.

Answered by Sheikh Nâyif al-Hamad, presiding judge at Rimâh District Court
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aljawaad
02-22-2006, 11:18 AM
Question: What should parents living in a Western country do if they find out that their 20 year old son has been secretly dating an older woman and now wants to marry her? While Islamically he is allowed to marry whomever he chooses, is it right to take part or support a marriage that started off wrongly, keeping in mind that he was raised in a religious environment and knows perfectly well that his actions have always been unacceptable, not only in Islam but in his culture as well?
In a Western society, parents need to use wisdom and take the environment into consideration.

To begin with, this young man should be guided and made familiar with what is good for him and for his future. He should then be advised that this is for his own sake in order to avoid any future harm befalling him, that he may not be able to imagine at this time on account of his youth and inexperience.

He should know that admiring and loving someone is one thing, but marriage is something else entirely.

In our religion, the man is requested to look for a pious wife. However, a woman who accepts to have a relationship with a stranger is already not pious. The same advice could be given to her regarding him.

Some of the attributes of a good woman are mentioned in Allah's saying: "It may be, if he divorced you (all) that Allah will give him in exchange consorts better than you, who submit (their wills), who believe, who are devout; who turn to Allah in repentance, who worship (in humility), who fast, whether previously married or virgins"[Sûrah al-Tahrîm: 5]. All these attributes reflect religion and good manners, save the last one mentioned, which is according to people's preferences.

Allah also wants us to marry modest women. He says: "The adulterer cannot marry any but an adulteress or an idolatress and the adulteress may not have anyone marry her but an adulterer or an idolater ; to the believers such a thing is forbidden." [Sûrah al-Nûr: 3]. This is the ruling before repentance. However, if they repent and reform, then there is a disagreement among scholars if the man and woman who commit adultery can be married to each other. Many scholars allowed it if their repentance is true.

On the other hand, marriage is a system of comprises, of duties, rights, and the intention to start a family. The spirit of marriage is trust between the two parties. How can a husband and wife trust one another if they had been doing wrong from the start, even if only with one another.

It has been related that a man came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and complained that his wife will not prevent anyone who tries to touch her. The Prophet (peace be upon him) advised him to divorce her. The man complained again that he loved her. Then the Prophet (peace be upon him) told him to keep her. [Sunan al-Nasâ'î] Although the authenticity of this hadîth is in dispute, it was upheld by some scholars. Some narrators explained that the meaning of this story that the woman talks and jokes with strangers and does not get angry if someone touches her, but she does not go further and that is why the Prophet (peace be upon him) allowed him to keep his wife.

Also, it is preferable for the person who had commited a sin and repented to avoid whatever reminds him of his sin. How could this be achieved if these two people see each other day and night?

Another point to consider is that the man's wealth comes after his honor in importance and Islam requires him to safeguard it. How could a husband trust a deceiver and entrust his money with her while she is not honest in her dignity? Likewise, how should she entrust her future to him?

What we have presented to you are some Islamic rulings and some general advice. We are not there with you and do not know the reality of the situation. Whether you support your son in his decision to marry her or decide not to do so is a decision that you will have to make on your own.

You know your son. You also have some familiarity with that woman. You are in a better position to assess the situation than anyone else.

Finally, this man should be advised that this passionate love will fade as the realities of married life will set in, a life which is not a transient pleasure, but a comprehensive system full of responsibilities, rights and duties.

Answered by Sheikh `Abd al-Rahmân al-Mujaydil, professor at al-Imâm University in Riyadh
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aljawaad
02-22-2006, 11:26 AM
Question: Can a husband forbid his wife from working, even though he agreed to marry her knowing that she quite happily works as a teacher? The general rule in marriage is that the husband is the one who has the duty of providing for and maintaining his wife. However, there is a condition for the husband having the authority associated with this that he is indeed providing for her properly and taking care of her needs. This is why the jurists Mâlik and al-Shâfi`î were of the opinion that when the husband fails to fulfill these conditions, his status as protector and maintainer is compromised and consequently the woman has a right to seek divorce.

Abû Hanîfah, on the other hand, was of the opinion that the expenditure becomes a debt that he owes to his wife.

If a husband prevents his wife from working, he could only conceivably do so if he is able to sufficiently fulfill her needs. Nevertheless, there is more to it than just that. The issue really must take custom into consideration as well as the specific circumstances of the individuals involved.

In some regions of the world, if a woman were prevented from working, it could lead to serious disturbances at home. It could be that her staying at home is what would instigate those problems. This could lead to a whole host of undesirable consequences. For this reason, the issue must be considered in light of weighing the pros and cons.

Women from among the Companions used to engage in work. Asmâ' bint Abî Bakr - the wife of al-Zubayr - used to work. She used to feed al-Zubayr's livestock. [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (5224) and Sahîh Muslim (2182)]

Then we have the woman who was told by some people to cease working on her date palms on account of her being in her period of mourning from her husband's death, so the Prophet (peace be upon him) said to her: "Go to your date palms" He said: "prune your date palms." [Musannaf `Abd al-Razzâq (7/25) with an authentic line of transmission]

From this we can see that women engaged in work is not something new that has just developed in recent times. It is something well known in Islam. For this reason, people have to be flexible about this issue. Indeed, it is true that the husband is responsible for the maintenance of his wife. He is the head of the household.

Islamic Law likes to have all matters clearly defined. The Prophet said: "Three people should not go fourth without appointing one of them to be their leader." [Sunan al-Bayhaqî (9/359) and Musannaf `Abd al-Razzâq (4/58)] This means that there should be some delineation of responsibility.

The family has a leader appointed for it, and this leader is the husband. This does not mean, however, that he can just do as he pleases, say what he pleases, and bark orders left and right. Quite the contrary, the husband and wife have to manage the household by way of mutual consultation. Allah commands them to engage in consultation in matters of weaning: "If they both decide on weaning, by mutual consent, and after due consultation, there is no blame on them." [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 233]

This is a matter that most acutely affects them both. How then should it be for a matter that has its greatest effect upon the woman?

In brief, if the husband commands his wife to do something that is not contrary to Islamic Law, then she should obey him. However, it is not permissible for him to order her to do something that will be detrimental to her or cause her to lose out on something good. If, on the other hand, her work causes problems like excessive mixing with men or has other negative consequences, then he is within his rights to tell her not to work and she should comply with what he says. This is in accordance with the view of the majority of scholars.
Answered by Sheikh `Abd Allah b. Bayyah, professor at `Abd al-`Azîz University in Jeddah
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aljawaad
02-22-2006, 11:40 AM
Question: Is it permissible for the husband to prevent his wife from visiting her family and relatives? If it is impermissible for him to prevent her, then is he incurring sin by doing so?
It is impermissible for the husband to categorically prevent his wife from visiting her family and other. However, he may determine the times of her visits in accordance with the welfare of his household as long as he does so without bringing about any harm for her.

If the husband categorically forbids his wife from visiting her relatives, he will indeed be sinful. By doing so, he is helping to break the ties of kinship which Allah has ordered us to uphold. He is instead assisting in fostering sin and rancour.

Allah says: "Help ye one another in righteousness and piety, but help ye not one another in sin and rancour." [Sûrah al-Mâ'idah: 2]

Also, preventing his wife from visiting her family contradicts with the kindness and customary usage that husbands and wives are ordered to observe in their relationship with each other. Allah says: "And live with them on a footing of customary kindness." [Sûrah al-Nisâ': 19]

And Allah knows best.

Answered by Sheikh Sulaymân al-`Îsâ, professor at al-Imâm University in Riyadh
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Qurratul Ayn
02-22-2006, 01:16 PM
Asslamu Alaikum

Jazakallah Khair for the posts Brother aljawaad, they were great!

I also learnt something form these posts!

Assalamu Alaikum
Shakirah
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Halima
02-24-2006, 05:58 PM
Marriage in Islam is a partnership. This partnership has two founding members, a man and a woman. This partnership has a constitution with a predetermined set of provisions. Its basis is one of love and affection, and its details encompass all aspects of family life.

Islam encourages everyone who is able to establish this partnership to hurry and do so. Islam promises us divine assistance and providence if we follow the provisions of Islam.

Marriage is the basis upon which the family is established. A man and woman form this important social institution together. Islam emphasizes that this relationship between the man and the woman should be based on affection and mercy. Allah says: “Among His signs is that he created for you wives from among yourselves that you may find comfort in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy.”

An important purpose of marriage in Islam is to take comfort in companionship and to bring about happiness. Allah says: “It is He who created you from a single person and then created from him his wife so he might take comfort in living with her.”

Allah also says: “They are garments for you and you are garments for them.”

Marriage, in Islam is established on the basis of mutual consent and free choice. Allah says: “Do not prevent them from marrying their former husbands if they mutually agree on a reasonable basis.”

Allah also says: “Do not retain them to harm them. Whoever does that has wronged himself.”

And: “O you who believe, it is not lawful for you to inherit women against their will.”

The management of family affairs and decision-making within the family are accomplished in Islam through mutual consultation and shared responsibility. Allah says: “Let each of you accept the advice of the other in a just way.”

One particular family issue where we find that the Qur’ân calls to mutual consultation and consent is the question of when a nursing child should be weaned.

Allah says: “If they both decide on weaning by mutual consent and consultation, there is no sin on them.”
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Qurratul Ayn
03-01-2006, 11:59 AM
Assalamu Alaikum

Jazakallah Khiar for that Sister Halima! It was very informative!

Assalamu Alaikum
Shakirah
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aljawaad
03-06-2006, 11:04 AM
Question: What are the wife's rights and responsibilities toward her husband, and what are the husband's rights and responsibilities toward his wife?

The rights in marriage fall into 3 categories:

1- Mutual rights between the two spouses.
2- Husband's rights.
3- Wife's rights.

These rights translate into the following duties that the husband and wife owe to each other:

Duties that are mutual:

First Duty: To forgive each other's small mistakes.

Second Duty: To provide emotional support in both happiness and sadness

Third Duty: To offer each other wholesome advice concerning obedience to Allah.

(These 3 duties are implied in Allah's statement: "Live with them in kindness.")

Fourth Duty: To keep each other's secrets. The Prophet (peace be upon him) says: "The people of the worst stature with Allah on the Day of Judgment are men who confide in their wives, and wives who confide in their husbands, and then they spread each other's secrets around." [Sahîh Muslim]

Fifth Duty: To pass the night with one another. Women must tend to their husband's needs even if they don't feel that need themselves. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "If a man invites his wife to his bed and she refuses, and as a consequence he goes to sleep angry, then the angels curse her until she rises." [Sahîh al-Bukhârî].

As for men, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said to his ascetic Companion Abû al-Dardâ': "O Abâ al-Dardâ, you have a duty to your body, and to your Lord, and to your guest, and to your wife. Fast and break your fasts, pray, and be intimate with your wife. Give everyone their due right." [Sahîh al-Bukhârî]

Sixth Duty: To adorn themselves in a reasonable manner. This is implied in the verse: "Be intimate with them in kindness." And "They have as what is asked of them in kindness."

The husband's duties to his wife are as follows:

First Duty: To spend money on his wife. This is a financial right, and includes: food, drink, clothing, and other basic needs.

Allah says: "Someone who is well off should spend from his fortune, and whoever is poor should spend from what Allah gives him."

Islamic Law does not define this expenditure monetarily, but left it to the customary practices of society.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) says: "Fear Allah when it comes to women, for they are helpers you took in faithfulness to Allah. You also find it permissible to enjoy their femininity lawfully with Allah's word. You owe it to them to spend money on them for their food and clothes in kindness." [Sahîh Muslim]

The expenditure should be within the means of the husband. He should not be asked to spend what he cannot afford.

Second Duty: To provide appropriate housing within the means of the husband. The wife has a right to her own home wherein she can feel comfortable. Allah says, regarding a newly divorced woman: "House them as you house yourselves as is available." If this is for the divorced woman, then the wife who is under the marriage contract is worthier.

Third Duty: Assisting them in their quest for salvation by teaching them their religion and reprimanding them for disobeying Allah.

Allah says: "O believers! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire which is fuelled by men and stones."

Fourth Duty: To pay a dower. This is a right which precedes the contract. It is a symbol of honoring the woman and it is not permissible to neglect it until after the contract.

The wife's duties to her husband are as follows:

First Duty: Obedience. A wife should be as obedient as she can to her husband. This preserves the family and protects it from collapsing. This is part of Islam's organizing of the family structure. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked: ‘Which women are the best?' he answered: "The one who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him when he asks something of her, and is not disobedient in herself or her money in what he hates." [Musnad Ahmad]

One should note that a wife's obedience to her husband falls into one of four categories:

1- To order her to do something this is prescribed by Islamic law, such as the five prayers. Here the wife must obey her husband, and she would be considered sinful from two perspectives if she fails to obey.

2- To order her to do something which is beneficial to him, or prohibit her from doing something which is harmful to him, such as things which have to do with his food or clothes. She must obey him here unless there is a valid excuse not to.

3- To order her to do something which falls into her private affairs, such as asking her to give him money or forbidding her from speaking to a friend for no good reason. Here she can obey him if she wants but she does not have to. She should consider the benefit and harm of such obedience.

4- To order her to disobey Allah's commands, and here she must disobey her husband.

Second duty: Not to leave the house unless the husband permits it. She should also never sleep outside the house unless she has permission.

Third duty: To refrain from fasting voluntarily unless she has permission. Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "It is not permissible for a woman to fast while her husband is present unless he permits it, nor is it permissible for her to allow anyone into the house unless he permits it."

Fourth duty: Not to let anyone into the house unless he permits it. This is also derived from the above-mentioned hadîth.

Fifth duty: To guard his money. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "The best women who have ridden camels are those of Quraysh. They are the most tender to a young child and guard what their husbands own." [Sahîh al-Bukharî]

Sixth duty: To serve and run the house in a reasonable fashion. This does not mean physical work on the part of the woman if a woman of her standing does not generally engage in physical work. It also does not mean physical work if her health does not permit it.


Answered by Sheikh Nizâr al-Shu`aybî
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aljawaad
03-06-2006, 11:06 AM
Question: I am seeking advice on behalf of a young woman from our family who has been approached for marriage by a man who I see as being religious, well-mannered, sensible, and hard-working. On the other hand, his financial circumstances are not very good. He is young - 22 years old. She, on the other hand, comes from an affluent family and is now in the final year of her university studies and wishes to complete her degree. He has no objection to her doing so. However, she is afraid to accept his proposal on account of his financial circumstances. What is your advice? Allah says: "And marry such of you as are solitary and the pious of your slaves and maid-servants. If they be poor, Allah will enrich them of His bounty. Allah is of ample means, Aware." [Sûrah al-Nûr: 32]

Marriage is a reason for a person to acquire self-sufficiency. This is because it makes a person sense his responsibility and motivates him to work and to be industrious and frugal.

Most importantly, Allah's providence comes to a person according to his needs. For every weakness on a person's part there is generosity and kindness on part of our Provider.

Therefore, if the man is as you describe him, I would advise her to accept his proposal and complete her university degree. This is only if she herself is pleased with his character, his reputation, and his religion.

If, however, she feels that she might not be able to respect him or that she might look down upon him on account of the disparity in their economic status, then I advise her not to marry him. Men are the protectors and maintainers of women and such a role cannot be effectively carried out by the man when his wife looks upon him with disdain.

Answered by the Scientific Research Committee - IslamToday.net
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aljawaad
03-06-2006, 11:09 AM
I know that i've already posted these two previous post somewhere else but i posted it once again so that this thread becomes a sort of reference for members, so if you Mods could please erase the other two thread i made before, i'd be grateful.
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