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anonymous
03-02-2006, 09:05 PM
:sl:
I have this realy good friend. we always were really close and have grown up toghether practillury we are like sisters, But during the past few months she just seems in her own little world i have tried talking to her but she just wont talk about it.It realy hurts me to see mt friend being so unhappy but she is just pushing me away and i think its costing us our friendship.

I just don't know what to do anymore?

:sl:
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The Ruler
03-02-2006, 09:09 PM
hmmmm....interesting!

first of all u gotta know wats rong....find out by anymeans...tell her dat if ders anyfin, she/he can talk to u....n all dis kinda stuff....it may help

:w:
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anonymous
03-02-2006, 09:18 PM
:sl:

I have tried doing that.But she just refuses to talk about it.

Im just making duass for her know.

:w:
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Snowflake
03-02-2006, 09:22 PM
:sl:

Plz don't feel rejected. There could be a number of reasons why your friend is feeling that way. It doesn't necessarily mean that she does not want confide in you. Her problem might be too embarrassing for her to share. The best you can do is to let her know that you are there for her.

Also bear in mind that sometimes people grow apart as they get older and develope their own views and opinions on different matters and maybe feel they're not on the same wavelength with you anymore. Send her a little note/card saying you care for her and are there for her if she needs you. But if she doesn't respond then leave it at that and accept it as part and parcel of life.

best wishes

:w:
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anonymous
03-02-2006, 11:26 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslimah_Sis
:sl:

But if she doesn't respond then leave it at that and accept it as part and parcel of life.

best wishes

:w:
:sl:

Jazakallah sis for your advice

what did u mean by the end part is to let go of the friendship?
:w:
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maryam (",)
03-03-2006, 07:30 AM
salaams

this is def something i can help with. d past year has seen me letting go of quite a few friendships...one of which really hurt to let go off, tho i still have the hope deep in my heart that we can still keep d friendship going.

we change and go thru different experiences and sometimes don't know how to deal with it. priorities change and this leads to friends growing apart. try and find out wot's causing the rift and see how u both can make things better. if u have no joy in that, then the only option is to part and let go of the friendship

concentrate on other friends around u and make new friends. in time the hurt u feel will fade, but the love and care u feel towards ur friend will never end. continue to make dua for them and relish all the good times u shared...coz we are who we are coz of those around us

:)
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Snowflake
03-03-2006, 08:14 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
:sl:

Jazakallah sis for your advice

what did u mean by the end part is to let go of the friendship?

:w:
salam sis,

well yes and no... depending on what your friend wants... like i said she simply may not feel able to share something.. maybe it's a family matter and she cant confide in you.. for fear of revealing her family's problems. Secondly she just might not feel close to you for whatever reason.. so if thats the case.. apart from letting her know that you are there for her if she needs you, there's not a lot u can do.. finally she may have grown apart from you and her lack of closeness with you is sign of that. If it's the latter then sis you have to accept things for what they are. But just give her time for now and let her know ur there inshaAllah.

best wishes & duaas
:w:
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sis_fisabil'Allah
03-03-2006, 08:58 AM
:w: sis i kn kinda relate 2 dis Alhamd'Allah da thing is me nd dis sis (in islam) r litrally lyk blood sis, i wz der b4 her reverting 2 islam nd am still der 4 er nw Alhamd'Allah, bt da thing is der wz a period of tym wen i wz feeling hmm... i dnt no hw 2 explain it (bt da feeling wznt gd) bt newayz we bth felt as if our sisterhood wz almost cumin 2 an end der wz no reason in particular bt we jst went wid da flow nd slowly we began seein ltl of eachother 2 weeks later(dosent seem lyk a lt bt 4 us it is a vry lng tym...lol) she gave me a kl nd we wer aksin eachother why is it dat things hav cum 2dis basically we knew da reeson wz dat we saw far to much of eachother nd da tym we spent 2geda wz nt spent wisley as in gaining as much knowlegde as we knew we cud bt newayz thing r sooo much beta nw simply cz we hav learnt 4rm our mistakes... so sis i strongly advise u 2 give da sis space mayb its nt u mayb it is Alahu'ailam bt wat eva u do dnt give 2 much space as da shaitan might try seperate u 4 gd bt dnt leave it 4 mre den 3 days den give da sista a kl mayb go nd visit er mayb wid a gift or sumin she rly lyks den remeber Allah s.w.t in ur convo nd tell her bout da beauty of islam nd da sisterhood dat islam encourages us to have, nd why its soo important. also think about hw u spend ur tym 2geda is it plzin Allah...:? have patient sis nd rember wat u luv 4 urself luv 4 ur brothers nd sister's. so treat da issue hw ud lyk her to treat it if u wer in her position. :w: :thankyou:
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arehat
03-03-2006, 07:52 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslimah_Sis
salam sis,

well yes and no... depending on what your friend wants... like i said she simply may not feel able to share something.. maybe it's a family matter and she cant confide in you.. for fear of revealing her family's problems. Secondly she just might not feel close to you for whatever reason.. so if thats the case.. apart from letting her know that you are there for her if she needs you, there's not a lot u can do.. finally she may have grown apart from you and her lack of closeness with you is sign of that. If it's the latter then sis you have to accept things for what they are. But just give her time for now and let her know ur there inshaAllah.

best wishes & duaas
:w:
Intresting advice i think that is the best thing to do.
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anonymous
03-04-2006, 07:42 AM
It could be that you done the same to her and that she is now reacting to the way she was
treated! remember that it cant only be her!maybe your pressurising her by asking whats wrong!
maybe that is making the situation worse!if she doesnt want to say you should respect her
wishes...you cant always be there for her and you cant always do everything for her.....
maybe it is to do with family and she cant say....give her her space and let her be...dont
go on about it to her as it will only make her feel worse.........maybe she wants time alone
to think things over.....or she may be going through a very hard time in life and all around
her may not realise how hard it is upon her.....people change as life goes on and they face
new things......and if you have been there as a true friend for her then she is sure to know
that you are there for her....think how have you been to her.....what have you been like towards
her when she hasnt told you whats wrong????why press her to tell you when she doesnt want to...
....the feelings of the heart cannot be controlled.......could you have done anything to make
her become like this?????u say you grw up together??so are you like saying you known each other
since you got understanding and you both went to pre-skul, skul etc together?????

Here you make it sound like your friends not acting right
and its her....yet it can be you....all replys on the thread will support you!!!that means
finding ways to go against her wishes! no one supports your friend!

also think if your friend found out about this thread how would she feel???is she a member of
LI???if soo n u say u r real close will she not be able to tell you posted this?? what will
her feelings be for those who have posted replys??how will she react to the thread?????

whatever happens happens.....dont force friendship on her n give her a bit of her own space
and privacy...
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AceOfHearts
03-04-2006, 09:11 AM
Many things can happens in ones life where no body is needed to help. She probably just needs time to recover from whatever she is going through. It doesnt mean she is cutting firendship with you.
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