/* */

PDA

View Full Version : Is it wrong?



------
03-12-2006, 05:53 PM
:sl:

I was just wondering... Is it wrong to try and change someone so they can become a good Muslim? You see I have this cousin who is 2 months older than me and she is into Music, Films, etc, etc.

I keep on telling her about the Day of Judgement and death and to change before its too late and no one knows when they are going to die, but she keeps on ignoring me or saying things like 'Don't talk about this I've got a headache.'

How can I make her understand?

Please reply brothers and sisters

Tkcr

:w:
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
Kittygyal
03-12-2006, 06:50 PM
Sis U Shud Sit Dwn And Talk To Er Politely If Not And She Refuses Not To Listen To U Then U Can Get Some Hadith's Or Sum Information That Talk's About Here After If She Still Refuse's Not To Listen To U.... Which I Hope She Doesn't Then U Can Tell Her That U Have Gt The Wrong Intention And That Get Up And Pray If She Still Refuse's To Not Listen To U Go A Head And SPeak To Her Parent's And Am Sure They Can Talk To Her.... Cuz At The End Of The Day God Knw's That Ur Gaining A Gud Deed And Leading Her To The Right Path But She Refuses To Listen To U....

So My Point Is That You Should Sit Down And Talk To Her And Tell Her That God Knows When You Are Going To Die So Talk To Her Parents If She Still Does Not Listen To You... ALSO TELL HER WOT'S THE POINT OF BEING A MUZLIM WHEN U ARE NOT FOLLOWING WOT THE PROPHET DID!

And Sis Bare In Mind Your The On Who Is Going Ta Get Rewarded For This Cuz Your Leading Her To The Right Path But She Refuse's Ta Listen To You

Sis U Dn't Wori And Take It Easy And Step By Step K

If U Need Any Help Plz Do Ask Me :) I Will Try Ta Help You In Every Kind Ov Way K

Take Care
Reply

Rabi'ya
03-12-2006, 06:52 PM
:sl: sister

ALhamdulillah you are doing a very good thing. Of course you should not give up, but perhaps try to be a little less obvious about things. Perhaps you could be more subtle. Try giving her nasheed CD's or Quraan recitation as a gift.

Try giving some books on the Sunnah of the Prophet(pbuh) and the etiquettes of a Muslim. Especially with regards to hobbies and pasttimes.

If you attend a halaqa or meeting you could invite your cousin to go with you and try to mix her with your friends too.

May Allah help you and keep both of you on the straigth path...ameen

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
Reply

------
03-12-2006, 06:53 PM
Thanks sis ^^^ I've tried to tell her in every possible way but she just doesn't seem to want to go on the straight path :confused:
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
Kittygyal
03-12-2006, 06:54 PM
Also Sis U Can Introduce Your Friends And Am Sure They Can Help You But Plz Dn't Give Up Cuz Ur Doing A Really Gud Job And U N God Knw....

Also U Can Ask Ur Cuzin If She Want's Ta Cum On This Site And Am Sure Sum Sistaz Can Talk To Her And SpreAd The Word Izlam

Take Care
Reply

------
03-12-2006, 06:57 PM
Inshallah I'll try.. But i think its very hard.. Shes married...shes 17.... shes got guy mates... I dnt no... :confused:
Reply

Kittygyal
03-12-2006, 06:59 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Pagal Kuri
Thanks sis ^^^ I've tried to tell her in every possible way but she just doesn't seem to want to go on the straight path :confused:

SIS BARE IN MIND THAT GOD IS WIV YOU ALL THE WAY SOON SHE WILL REALISE THAT ''YEA I SHUD HAVE LISTEN TA SO N SO AND I DID A BAD THING...'' SIS U DN'T WORI AM SURE UR UPSET NW BT LUK AT HER PARENTS AM SURE THERE EVEN UPSET JUST PRAY TA GOD AND U JUS A GO ALONG WIV IT AND LYK SIS RABIA SAID GIVE HER A GIVT OV NASHEEDS AND AM SURE SHE WILL LYK EM AND SHE WILL REGRET IT... (I HOPE SO)

THE DEVIL IS LEADING HER TO THE WRNG PATH AND SOON GOD WILL LEAD HER TO THE RYT PATH....


SIS MAY I ASK HOW OLD IS SHE? ( IF U DN'T MIND ME ASKIN)

TAKE CARE
Reply

------
03-12-2006, 07:02 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by islamgyal


SIS MAY I ASK HOW OLD IS SHE? ( IF U DN'T MIND ME ASKIN)

TAKE CARE

17...
Reply

Kittygyal
03-12-2006, 07:02 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Pagal Kuri
Inshallah I'll try.. But i think its very hard.. Shes married...shes 17.... shes got guy mates... I dnt no... :confused:

WELL SIS ATLEAST UR DOING A GUD JOD AND SHE REFUSE'S NOT TA LISTEN TO U WHICH IS NOT RYT AT ALL SOON SHE WILL REGRET IT!

TELL HER PARENTS ABOUT THIS AND IF SHE IS MARRIED THEN Y HAS SHE GT GUY MATES:heated: :heated:

TAKE CARE
Reply

Rabi'ya
03-12-2006, 07:02 PM
ok i would suggest you give her the hadiths on women spending time with guys. ask her about this, why does she spend time with guys.....i used to....because i couldnt chat to girls the way i could with guys. but once i got used to talking to girls i was fine(i was brought up with 4 brothers no sisters- male orientated life)

ask her if she loves her husband, doesnt she want to please him. get her to think about how her husband feels when he knows shes out with guys...and if he doesnt know why doees she feel the need to hide it...

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
Reply

------
03-12-2006, 07:03 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by islamgyal
TELL HER PARENTS ABOUT THIS AND IF SHE IS MARRIED THEN Y HAS SHE GT GUY MATES:heated: :heated:

TAKE CARE
Apparently she said that her husband already knows... Well shes in UK and hes in Pakistan...:confused:
Reply

Maimunah
03-12-2006, 07:03 PM
firstly sis ask allah to guide her
do alot of ducaa coz u can never guide someone unless allah allows them to be guided. choose a reasonable time to talk to her like a time she is very happy. talk to her sofly n politely. tell her allah loves her n talk about the janah with her. remind her that the world is temporary n great people like the prophets who walked on earth are now dead(may allah have mercy on them). n follow the sisterz advice inshallah i'll pray to allah to make thingz easy for u n to guide her. ameen
salaamz:)
Reply

------
03-12-2006, 07:04 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Rabi'ya
ok i would suggest you give her the hadiths on women spending time with guys. ask her about this, why does she spend time with guys.....i used to....because i couldnt chat to girls the way i could with guys.

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
Dats what she sez az well.. Her best mate is a guy who likes one of her other mate :heated: Its all messed :heated:
Reply

Kittygyal
03-12-2006, 07:05 PM
Yea And Also Y Is She Doing This To Her Husband Am Sure That Is Not Allowed In Izlam Well Acctually It's Not Allowed In Any Religiopn So She's Playing On Him...

Tell Her If You R Refusing Ta Listen To Me I Will Tell Ur Husband That U Go Owt Wiv Other Lads And Tell Her Why Is She Hidding It Then...

Take Care
Reply

------
03-12-2006, 07:06 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by mashaallah
remind her that the world is temporary n great people like the prophets who walked on earth are now dead(may allah have mercy on them).
salaamz:)
Thats the problem, whenever I try to tell her that she says that I'll change in my own time, i go to her u neva know if u die 2moro - what are u going to answer to your lord - she goes leave me alone :confused:
Reply

------
03-12-2006, 07:07 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by islamgyal
Tell Her If You R Refusing Ta Listen To Me I Will Tell Ur Husband That U Go Owt Wiv Other Lads And Tell Her Why Is She Hidding It Then...

Take Care
Apparently shes just friends with them.. :confused:
Reply

Kittygyal
03-12-2006, 07:10 PM
Sis I Knw Where Ur Cumin From Bt This Si Not Allowed You Should Tell Ur Mum And Tell Her That She Is Refusing Ta Listen Ta Me And She Is Going Owt Wiv Sum Uda Ladz And Cheating On Her Husband Cuz Firstly That Is Not Ryt At All And Secondly Tell Her She Is Hanging Around Wiv The Wrng Mates... Trus Mi Sis U Shud Introduce Ur Mates To Her Am Sure Your Mates Are Much Betta That Her's And Am Sure They Can Becum Friends..

Also You Should Sit Down Her And You When She Is In A Gud Mood And Tell Her Ta Pray And Ask Forgivness From God...
Help Her When She Is In A Happy Mood And Also When She Is Alone :)

Take Care
Reply

------
03-12-2006, 07:11 PM
INshallah I'll try that
Reply

Rabi'ya
03-12-2006, 07:13 PM
she may well be just friends with them.Allah knows her deeds and intentions.

you should make 70 excuses before accusing her.

Keep talking to her sis. perhaps indirectly. Dont pressure her or she'll just think your preaching at her. try just being friends with her. perhaps go shopping together or sk her if she would mind accompanying you to an islamic event near you....theres lots of possibilities

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
Reply

Kittygyal
03-12-2006, 07:14 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Pagal Kuri
Thats the problem, whenever I try to tell her that she says that I'll change in my own time, i go to her u neva know if u die 2moro - what are u going to answer to your lord - she goes leave me alone :confused:

TELL HER UR WRNG AND STP ACTING LYK THIS ASK HER DO YOU LOVE YOUR LORD MORE THAN U LOVE UR LOVE MUSIC?
ASK HER WHO CUMZ 1 GOD R MUSIC?

THEN ASK HER WHO DO U LOVE UR HUSBAND R DEM UDA LADS ON THE STREETS AND HOW WUD U FEEL IF THAT'S WOT UR HUSBAND DID TO U?

TAKE CARE
Reply

------
03-12-2006, 07:15 PM
Thanks sis i'll try dt az well..
Reply

Maimunah
03-12-2006, 07:18 PM
i ask allah to guide her:) :w:
Reply

------
03-12-2006, 07:19 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by mashaallah
i ask allah to guide her:) :w:
Jazakallah Sis
Reply

Kittygyal
03-12-2006, 07:20 PM
Sis Bare In Mind Only U And God Knw That Ur Doing A Gud Job And Ur Gaining The Rewards For Telling Her So Dn't Stp Cuz U've Gt The Ryt To Tell Her K.....

She Is Jus On The Totally Wrng Path and Am Sure She Will Cum Back To U And Regret It Trus Mi It Happens

If U Need Any More Help Sis Am Always Ere For U K
And Plz U Jus Chill...

I've Been In Her Shoes Believe Me It Is Hard Bt Luk God The Only 1 Has Changed Me From Becuming An Christian To A Muzlim So Am Sure God Will Help Her And Lead Her To The Ryt Path

Sis She Will Always Be In My Prayers And So Would U K

Take Care
Reply

------
03-12-2006, 07:21 PM
Thanks a lot sis :love:
Reply

Kittygyal
03-12-2006, 07:22 PM
No Worries Sis Am Always Ere For Yea K :)

Take Care
Reply

Snowflake
03-12-2006, 08:51 PM
sometimes the direct approach doesnt work and what's needed is a bit of reverse psychology...

instead of telling her or anyone else what they should or shouldnt be doing (becuz ppl rarely listen) say something about urself. For instance..

"I was reading about the punishments of doing such & such.. thank Allah I've stopped doing that thing." etc etc...

Nobody likes to be preached to.. so just start conversations with "I was reading about Qeyyamah, The punishments of the grave, and OMG it's so scary..." blah blah blah... and tell it to her like you're just sharing something with her instead of making her feel guilty.

Plus like rabiya sis said give her some Islamic material as a gift, something she can easily read and understand.. you need to make a crack in the shell she's living in. Once her shell has cracked.. you'll have no trouble getting in there to help her along. May Allah give ur cousin hidayah. Ameen.
Reply

Maimunah
03-12-2006, 09:20 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslimah_Sis
sometimes the direct approach doesnt work and what's needed is a bit of reverse psychology...

instead of telling her or anyone else what they should or shouldnt be doing (becuz ppl rarely listen) say something about urself. For instance..

"I was reading about the punishments of doing such & such.. thank Allah I've stopped doing that thing." etc etc...

Nobody likes to be preached to.. so just start conversations with "I was reading about Qeyyamah, The punishments of the grave, and OMG it's so scary..." blah blah blah... and tell it to her like you're just sharing something with her instead of making her feel guilty.

Plus like rabiya sis said give her some Islamic material as a gift, something she can easily read and understand.. you need to make a crack in the shell she's living in. Once her shell has cracked.. you'll have no trouble getting in there to help her along. May Allah give ur cousin hidayah. Ameen.
true say sis n ameen:sister:
:w:
Reply

The Ruler
03-12-2006, 09:23 PM
if she says shes got a headache, tell er dat u dont care...wat wud she do wen da sun burns on her head n her brains boil wid da heat of fire on da day of judgement? wat wud sh do then???

:w:
Reply

Maimunah
03-12-2006, 09:34 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Tagrid
if she says shes got a headache, tell er dat u dont care...wat wud she do wen da sun burns on her head n her brains boil wid da heat of fire on da day of judgement? wat wud sh do then???

:w:
subhanaallah sis
powerful words
may allah save us
salaam:)
Reply

Kittygyal
03-12-2006, 09:37 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Tagrid
if she says shes got a headache, tell er dat u dont care...wat wud she do wen da sun burns on her head n her brains boil wid da heat of fire on da day of judgement? wat wud sh do then???

:w:

tell me abwt it wot wud she do then when she has to turn to her lord... no ''MUSIC'' cum's first so forget bwt god! well she can fink twice!....

cuz ta be honest if she was young then alright we will understand bt cum of it she is married hello she's married :rant:
this gyal seriously needs a grip man cuz sis pagal-kuri is doing a good job and she is refusing ta listen to her bt believe me she will regret it later!

take care
Reply

The Ruler
03-12-2006, 09:40 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by mashaallah
subhanaallah sis
powerful words
yeh i no jus tryin to act a bit mature :statisfie

format_quote Originally Posted by mashaallah
may allah save us
ameen :) :)

:w:
Reply

Maimunah
03-12-2006, 09:40 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by islamgyal
tell me abwt it wot wud she do then when she has to turn to her lord... no ''MUSIC'' cum's first so forget bwt god! well she can fink twice!....

cuz ta be honest if she was young then alright we will understand bt cum of it she is married hello she's married :rant:
this gyal seriously needs a grip man cuz sis pagal-kuri is doing a good job and she is refusing ta listen to her bt believe me she will regret it later!

take care
instead of backbitting her lets ask allah to guide her
oh allah guide her:)
amiin
remmember we shouldn't judge other
this sister might be ahlul janah:w:
Reply

Kittygyal
03-12-2006, 09:44 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by mashaallah
instead of backbitting her lets ask allah to guide her
oh allah guide her:)
amiin
remmember we shouldn't judge other
this sister might be ahlul janah:w:
yea well sis if sum1 is giving u ta stp sumet u wn't ingnore em and u wn't even try ta cheat on your husband even tho he is in anuda country....!

sori sis my intention is NOT to backbite.... am jus being straight forward and u knw wot sis pagal-kuri cd abwt this gyal ta be honest she dun't knw wot izlam is and the meaning of being a muzlim....

take care
Reply

Maimunah
03-12-2006, 09:49 PM
i kno sis but i'm sure inshaallah one day she'll come around.
everythin happens for a reason n this was written down for her already.
salaam:):w:
Reply

Kittygyal
03-12-2006, 09:50 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by mashaallah
i kno sis but i'm sure inshaallah one day she'll come around.
everythin happens for a reason n this was written down for her already.
salaam:):w:
o ta sis :)

take care
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 09-19-2014, 10:23 PM
  2. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-04-2013, 06:39 PM
  3. Replies: 21
    Last Post: 11-23-2007, 04:58 PM
  4. Replies: 2
    Last Post: 03-19-2006, 03:29 PM
British Wholesales - Certified Wholesale Linen & Towels | Holiday in the Maldives

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!