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Dark Side
04-20-2005, 08:14 PM
I've noticed that lately a lot of Muslims, (mainly women), have been saying that they would like to marry someone who is a revert. I can understand not discriminating on the basis of whether someone is a revert or has been a Muslim their entire life, but why limit your potential spouses to only reverts? I think that the main reason why some Muslims want to marry reverts is because they won't have to deal with the inlaws. Since the reverts parents are non-Muslim, they won't even have to come in contact with them. What do you guys think is the reason why Muslims want to marry reverts these days?
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Z
04-20-2005, 08:19 PM
Asalamu Alaikum

Allah knows best brother and I plan to keep my views within insha Allah. Some may just get offended.
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Dark Side
04-20-2005, 08:22 PM
Originally Posted by Kerned Indian
Asalamu Alaikum

Allah knows best brother and I plan to keep my views within insha Allah. Some may just get offended.

Say your views. Just don't say them in a way which would address a specific person. Make them general.
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Z
04-20-2005, 08:26 PM
Asalamu Alaikum

Brother, even when one is generalising, people still get offended. Insha Allah others will contribute.
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Dark Side
04-20-2005, 08:26 PM
Expanding on my previous point about the inlaws. Many Muslims who want to marry reverts think that they are gaining freedom and escaping the burden of having to deal with a large family and the other families culture. To me it is better to marry into a larger family because then both your family and your spouses family will become united and you will have many more brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, moms and dads to enjoy your life with. Big family to me means lots of love and support.
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SalafiFemaleJih
04-20-2005, 08:27 PM
salams,

I think I said somewhere that I wanna marry a revert. I donno why I said it though :-/ I'm not against anything or anybody...I am willing to marry anyoneeeeeee(born muslim or reverted muslim) from anywhere but he should have bearddddddddddddddd inshaAllah.

walaikum salaam wr wb.
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Dark Side
04-20-2005, 08:29 PM
Originally Posted by SalafiFemaleJih
salams,

I think I said somewhere that I wanna marry a revert. I donno why I said it though :-/ I'm not against anything or anybody...I will willing to marry anyoneeeeeee(born muslim or reverted muslim) from anywhere but he should have bearddddddddddddddd inshaAllah.

walaikum salaam wr wb.

Thats good sister. Personally I would love to marry a girl who has been a pious Muslim her entire life. She will have more knowledge about Islam, and will already know how to pray, and memorize a good portion of the Quran so that she can teach my kids and be a good example to them.
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SalafiFemaleJih
04-20-2005, 08:56 PM
Originally Posted by Dark Side
Thats good sister. Personally I would love to marry a girl who has been a pious Muslim her entire life. She will have more knowledge about Islam, and will already know how to pray, and memorize a good portion of the Quran so that she can teach my kids and be a good example to them.
not everyone thinks like you. I went to the mosque "this lady was telling other lady that "these days guys want someone who is not niqaabi/hijabi" I was wearing niqaab right I felt soo bad. she continued saying "usually people with niqaab/hijab are bad girls..they try to look nice in front of people but inside they are bad...and the guys side wants someone who are not hijabi/niqabi.

I was just staring at her blankly...then salah started...I was gonna give her lecture on that...then I told myself "forget it...its no use."

Not all hijabis/niqaabis are bad...yeah, they might be few...but really nobody can judge them...Allah knows best about their intentions.

gtg college....lates.

walaikum salaaam wr wb.
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S_87
04-20-2005, 08:58 PM
omg sfj thats what i hear too :'(
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makaveli
04-20-2005, 10:17 PM
Originally Posted by SalafiFemaleJih
these days guys want someone who is not niqaabi/hijabi
it's true.
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Ibn Abi Ahmed
04-20-2005, 10:23 PM
Originally Posted by makaveli
it's true.
ACtually its not, maybe those who live in the west and have adopted the western styles maybe, but not those who fear Allah and those who wish to remain pious.
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makaveli
04-20-2005, 10:25 PM
Originally Posted by ahmed687
ACtually its not, maybe those who live in the west and have adopted the western styles maybe, but not those who fear Allah and those who wish to remain pious.

Hmmm .... really? are you telling me in Turkey guys want to marry a girl who wears the hijab? It's not only in North America.
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Ibn Abi Ahmed
04-20-2005, 10:33 PM
ok let me rephrase myself. Those Who have live in the west and have adopted the culture AND those who live elsewhere and have adopted the western culture by what they have seen but not those who fear Allah and those who wish to remain pious.
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Ra`eesah
04-20-2005, 10:56 PM
Assalamu'Alaykum

dear sisters SFH and amani... dont worry me too i am a niqabi. But let me tell you short story i heard.

"The parables of a covered women is like that of a chocolate"

Once a teacher is Saudi Arabia brought chocolates for her students ( who were all girls) she had 2 trays one tray had chocolates warped and the others were unwrapped. She told them to come up and take one, after they all took one she observed the tray and saw that no one took from the tray of the unwrapped chocolate and when she asked them why, they said." we don’t know where they have been or who touched it and its probably contaminate with germs.... and she told them Same as men, the prefer covered Muslimahs rather then uncover. :rose:


And those men who don’t want a covered muslimah then they must not love Allah and his Messenger.

And let me add turkey has been corrupted after Mustafa Kamal. so might as well consider it as being a westernized country.
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Khaldun
04-20-2005, 11:07 PM
:sl:

mashAllah good example sister 3washey! As for me I would prefer a "covered" muslimah anyday!....and who says that the covered sisters are corrupt? subhanAllah!
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Ibn Abi Ahmed
04-20-2005, 11:07 PM
makaveli, in response to you, i have posted this Plz take the time to go and read

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthre...ed=1#post21449

wasalam
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Ra`eesah
04-20-2005, 11:14 PM
Assalamu'Alaykum

Jazakallah brother Khaldun... of course i dont think i have ever in my life heard of these absurd statments... only ppl who would say such things are "muslim" sisters who want to give an excuse for not covering.

here is another beautiful story regarding covering.


A hero's advice to his daughters

The following incident took place when Muhammad Ali's daughters arrived at his home wearing clothes that were not modest. Here is the story as told by one of his daughters:

When we finally arrived, the chauffer escorted my younger sister,
Laila, and me up to my father's suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day.

My father took a good look at us. Then he sat me down on his lap and said something that I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to. Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell. Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You've got to work hard to get to them."

He looked at me with serious eyes. "Your body is sacred. You're far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too."

Source: Taken from the book: More Than A Hero: Muhammad Ali's Life Lessons Through His Daughter's Eyes.


So only real believing brothers know the true value of a covered sister.
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solid_snake
04-20-2005, 11:45 PM
Muhammad Ali is great and all but he did have sex with a lot of girls and dated girls and his daughter fights in boxing where she shows a lot of skin .......
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Genius
04-21-2005, 12:34 AM
Originally Posted by solid_snake
Muhammad Ali is great and all but he did have sex with a lot of girls and dated girls and his daughter fights in boxing where she shows a lot of skin .......
Nice signature, i think Mohammed Ali did that when he was stil kaffir or NOI, in anycase we shouldn't speak of the sins of others.

I would rather marry a revert or someone not from my culture cos i don't like Indo-Pak-Bangla culture, as long as she doesn't have a beard everything is Alhamdulillah.
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Ibn Abi Ahmed
04-21-2005, 12:36 AM
:lol: i think you just insulted alot of the Desi sisters in here^^^
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Ra`eesah
04-21-2005, 12:43 AM
Assalamu'Alaykum

:omg: ... that was sooooo mean!

shame on you! :-X
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solid_snake
04-21-2005, 01:33 AM
Originally Posted by Genius
I would rather marry a revert or someone not from my culture cos i don't like Indo-Pak-Bangla culture,
i'm with ya! :shade: : *parents see me post this and takes away all my internet time* :p I do hate many things in the Indo-Pak-Bangla culture but that's for another thread.
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Dark Side
04-21-2005, 06:58 AM
Originally Posted by solid_snake
Muhammad Ali is great and all but he did have sex with a lot of girls and dated girls and his daughter fights in boxing where she shows a lot of skin .......
The problem with Muhammad Ali is that he was introduced to an incorrect form of Islam. The nation of Islam are very confused about Islamic practices, so I can see why he did all of those things. But regardless, he is a great boxer and very interesting personality.
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Sahabiyaat
04-21-2005, 08:05 AM
yes his is a gr8 example of the rise and fall of a great person

:haha: bro genius,i wasnt offended that was funni

3washey - those examples are very gud and i know both of them,we were taught them at skool to explain the importance of hijaab.
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Ra`eesah
04-21-2005, 08:31 AM
Assalamu'Alaykum




I was offened... :mad: :-[ :'( :'( :(








































and i am not even desi

;D


Mashallah thats gr8... i love the first one and the second one is very wise.
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Z
04-21-2005, 09:42 AM
Asalamu Alaikum

I would love to marry a revert and in order for that I'd have to love the revert first. :D
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Khaldun
04-21-2005, 11:32 AM
:sl:

if I am not wrong Muhammed Ali left Nation of Islam after going Hajj and saw that what this evil sect was preaching was totally against islam. So he isnt a part of that anymore
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Far7an
04-21-2005, 11:34 AM
Originally Posted by Khaldun
:sl:

if I am not wrong Muhammed Ali left Nation of Islam after going Hajj and saw that what this evil sect was preaching was totally against islam. So he isnt a part of that anymore
That is correct, Alhamdulillah. :)
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Ra`eesah
04-21-2005, 11:57 AM
wasnt that Malcom X?........
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Khaldun
04-21-2005, 12:11 PM
:sl:

maybe it was both?
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Ra`eesah
04-21-2005, 12:14 PM
I dont think Muhammad Ali went to Hajj... Muhammed Ali left nation in the year 1975.... and because sunni muslim. and that was after malcolm X was assassinated.

but i think since malcolm X ( Al haj malik Shabazz) was the one to invite Ali to NOI, Ali followed him after he left NOI.
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Green Bird
04-21-2005, 12:35 PM
That's true but Muhammed Ali did'nt convert to orthodox islam till way after Malcolm X's death which meant that Malcolm died on not very good terms with muhammed Ali. :'(
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Dark Side
04-21-2005, 06:10 PM
Originally Posted by Green Bird
That's true but Muhammed Ali did'nt convert to orthodox islam till way after Malcolm X's death which meant that Malcolm died on not very good terms with muhammed Ali. :'(
That's true. When Malcom X left the Nation of Islam, Muhammad Ali was very angry with him for disobeying Elimah Muhammad. But when Malcom X was assasinated Muhammad Ali was deeply hurt, and visited his funeral. I don't think he's ever been to Hajj, but I still feel that he isn't very knowledgable about Islam. Inshallah though maybe one day Allah will open up his eyes to the full knowledge.
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solid_snake
04-22-2005, 02:48 AM
Originally Posted by SalafiFemaleJih
"usually people with niqaab/hijab are bad girls..they try to look nice in front of people but inside they are bad...and the guys side wants someone who are not hijabi/niqabi.

I was just staring at her blankly...then salah started...I was gonna give her lecture on that...then I told myself "forget it...its no use."
You should have gave her a lecture .... staying silent doesn't help. bad girls? I think it's completely the opposite. I will be a lucky man to be married to a girl who wears the hijab and doesnt' show alot of skin (trust me, it's not easy finding one here in Canada). I don't want other men lusting over my wife. Yes, some men might go for the scandalous girls because they show off their assets and will have sex soon. Also the guys know they got no chance with girls like you because you are not into one night stands and sex before marriage. It will take a special and honorable man to be your husband. I can't speak for all but many muslims (especially parents) in Canada actually think highly of girls like you.
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Mou'minah
04-22-2005, 03:13 AM
:sl:

Well...its not only here in Canada..it's everywhere..but sis SalafiFemaleJihadist..i can't belive they said that :omg: Were they their selves wearing hijaab or niqaab? Did they think of their selves as being bad girls inside but look nice to people on the outside...i wonder why they would say such things.. :thumbs_do
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SalafiFemaleJih
04-22-2005, 04:38 AM
Originally Posted by solid_snake
You should have gave her a lecture .... staying silent doesn't help. bad girls? I think it's completely the opposite. I will be a lucky man to be married to a girl who wears the hijab and doesnt' show alot of skin (trust me, it's not easy finding one here in Canada). I don't want other men lusting over my wife. Yes, some men might go for the scandalous girls because they show off their assets and will have sex soon. Also the guys know they got no chance with girls like you because you are not into one night stands and sex before marriage. It will take a special and honorable man to be your husband. I can't speak for all but many muslims (especially parents) in Canada actually think highly of girls like you.
Asalamualaikum wr wb akhi!!

few desi's in chicago thinks if u are a niqaabi(female who covers face) then u are more messed up, because the more we cover...then they think there are more secrets(as in bad stuff) behind us....which is not true at alll.

brother, jazkAllah kher for making me feel so special, but its sad to see our own sisters in Islam thinks bad of me and other niqaabis.

It have been really hard for me wearing niqaab since past 2 days cuz I'm sick of people making comments....usually, I try to smile and take it easy when they say stuff about me...but then sometimes when our own relatives makes fun of ur niqaab...then it really hurts.

well, by the end of the day...I try to forget everything...I smile and forgive people who hurts my feelings....cuz whatever i'm doing is just for the sake of Allah swt....who cares about other people.

May Allah forgive me, If I think bad about my own brothers and sisters Ameen.

May Allah swt guide muslimeen to the right path...the path of pious Ameen.

I think I should go sleep now....I'm dead tired.

walaikum salaaam wr wb.
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Ra`eesah
04-22-2005, 04:49 AM
Originally Posted by SalafiFemaleJih
Asalamualaikum wr wb akhi!!

few desi's in chicago thinks if u are a niqaabi(female who covers face) then u are more messed up, because the more we cover...then they think there are more secrets(as in bad stuff) behind us....which is not true at alll.

Subhanallah.... thats the dumbest thing i have ever heard!... I think its only amoungsts the "desi's" ( or Asians) because arabs/africans look up to those who cover. ( excuse me if i am wrong)

But i also had a desi friend and she told me that her family discourage covering because they say no man wants a women like that....:( thats sad. But i am sure its not all....

Another thing like i said some of our "sisters iin islam" may Allah guide them. ~ameen~ they make such excuses to make them selfs feel better about not covering.
Mashallah i envey you :( u are going through struggle wearing niqab while i have it so easy. LUCKY! :-[

anyway what would give to be in your place at lest for a day so that i can feel my self being tested for the sake of Allah.
mashallah, but dont worry there are many more of us out there at lest now you know you belong :D
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SalafiFemaleJih
04-22-2005, 04:49 AM
Originally Posted by Mou'minah
:sl:

Well...its not only here in Canada..it's everywhere..but sis SalafiFemaleJihadist..i can't belive they said that :omg: Were they their selves wearing hijaab or niqaab? Did they think of their selves as being bad girls inside but look nice to people on the outside...i wonder why they would say such things.. :thumbs_do
Asalamaualikum wr wb ukhti!!

umm yeah they were wearing hijab. They know me very well...I usually see them at halaqas(islamic gatherings).

we hear lot of stories about niqaabi girls out there...but then I think of myself...maybe they are people outside who makes fun of me too...its not just them...maybe there are rumours about me too because now i'm known as female who is fully covered...now people are more suspicious about me....they are looking for just one mistake that im gonna make...and then they will make my life miserable(as in...they will spread it around as rumours)....u know actually someone really said that to me. But, Allahmdulillah I try to keep myself under control I know my limits.... I believe i will not fall in shaytans trap inshaAllah. Allah swt knows the best about my intentions and whatever is hidden in my heart.

walaikum salaaam wr wb.
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Khaldun
04-22-2005, 11:19 AM
:sl:

yes i know what u mean by that u need to watch out for even the slightest mistake, even if u smile abit to much then ppl might get wrong ideas about you (well u wear niqaab soo, but u understand what i mean)

yes and sister aisha ur right, that most arabs and africans look up to covered ppl, but i never knew its this sad amongst the asian community subhanAllah, shaytaan has certainly deceived the ppl, following that logic ppl that flash alot of flesh are "normal"?
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Umm Yoosuf
04-22-2005, 02:41 PM
Originally Posted by Dark Side
I've noticed that lately a lot of Muslims, (mainly women), have been saying that they would like to marry someone who is a revert. I can understand not discriminating on the basis of whether someone is a revert or has been a Muslim their entire life, but why limit your potential spouses to only reverts? I think that the main reason why some Muslims want to marry reverts is because they won't have to deal with the inlaws. Since the reverts parents are non-Muslim, they won't even have to come in contact with them. What do you guys think is the reason why Muslims want to marry reverts these days?
Assalaamu Alaykum wr wb

Ya Akhti first i agree with you that mainly sister want to marry reverts....secondly let me correct you. I don't believe that these sister want to marry these reverts beacause of dealing with less family "responsibilities".

Sister tend to want to marry these reverts cuz they take Islam seriously. And this the case with MOST reverts. Allah Knows Best. They take Islam as their way of life. Comapre most reverts to born muslim's. I'm not saying the "we" born muslims and brought up as muslims don't practise islam. Of cuz there are born muslim we are masha Allah practising Alhmdulilaah.

Ok I'm just going on.....

Wa Salaamu Alaykum
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Dark Side
04-22-2005, 08:29 PM
Originally Posted by Jannah
Assalaamu Alaykum wr wb

Ya Akhti first i agree with you that mainly sister want to marry reverts....secondly let me correct you. I don't believe that these sister want to marry these reverts beacause of dealing with less family "responsibilities".

Sister tend to want to marry these reverts cuz they take Islam seriously. And this the case with MOST reverts. Allah Knows Best. They take Islam as their way of life. Comapre most reverts to born muslim's. I'm not saying the "we" born muslims and brought up as muslims don't practise islam. Of cuz there are born muslim we are masha Allah practising Alhmdulilaah.

Ok I'm just going on.....

Wa Salaamu Alaykum
I've heard that argument as well but I don't buy it. Reverts tend to be very focused on learning Islam the first few months/years that they become a Muslim. But after a while of being a Muslim most reverts tend to act like the majority of those who are born Muslim. Although some continue on being very religious. Plus, in most cases reverts take a long while to learn how to pray, read quran, and learn their duas and it is very difficult for them for a while before they get used to it. So I don't Muslim women should marry a man who just reverted because she will end up having to teach him many things and will serve as a model for him. Rather it should be the husband who is teaching the wife and being an example for her, because that is one of the rights that women have over men. I know of many cases where women marry a revert man and after they get married he will stop praying and go back to his sinful ways. So I suggest that women marry men who have been Muslims for many years and are very knowledgeable about Islam and have memorized a good portion of the Quran so that it can be easier for them and their children once they get married. For a Muslim woman to marry a revert because she thinks that it will help her to be more religious is not smart in my idea. It will be more like a burden on her to teach her husband until he knows as much as she does, and then who will teach her? See where I'm getting.

I'm a firm believer that people should work on their character and their deen before getting married, and not afterwards. Many people say that once they get married they will change. For instance some women say that once they get married they will start wearing the hijab, or some men say that once they get married they will start to pray more and grow a beard and memorize the Quran. The truth is that if we don't work on those things now instead of putting them off into the future, we will never get them done. It's always, "I'll do it tomorrow". Well guess what? Tomorrows dreams will never become a reality unless you start to fulfill them today.
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Serenity
04-24-2005, 04:06 AM
Bismilah

My husband is a revert to Islam. He reverted to islam when he was 17 and he did his haj that same year. There is so much he teaches me about my Islam :D .

About the niqaab & Hijab, There is an outer hijab and an inner hijab. No matter how covered you are if you don't have the inner hijab your covering is without a purpose and meaningless. I think it's really important that we first perfect our inner hijab. And Make our intentions serene and pure and for Allahs sake only. When that is achieved thats when your outer hijab becomes a reflection of our inner muslim. Thats when Your Imaan and akhlaq shine through the way you walk, talk, and in every slightest move you make mashaAllah.

I don't want to complain about anyone else's bad manner because subhanaAllah I should worry about my own. But I think a lot of the times many people wear the hijab just for the sake of wearing it. It is better to not wear it than to wear it for any other reason or purpose except to please Allah.

The last paragraph is my opinion and May Allah forgive us, ameen.
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hrm
08-16-2009, 07:10 PM
Originally Posted by Serenity
Bismilah

My husband is a revert to Islam. He reverted to islam when he was 17 and he did his haj that same year. There is so much he teaches me about my Islam :D .

About the niqaab & Hijab, There is an outer hijab and an inner hijab. No matter how covered you are if you don't have the inner hijab your covering is without a purpose and meaningless. I think it's really important that we first perfect our inner hijab. And Make our intentions serene and pure and for Allahs sake only. When that is achieved thats when your outer hijab becomes a reflection of our inner muslim. Thats when Your Imaan and akhlaq shine through the way you walk, talk, and in every slightest move you make mashaAllah.

I don't want to complain about anyone else's bad manner because subhanaAllah I should worry about my own. But I think a lot of the times many people wear the hijab just for the sake of wearing it. It is better to not wear it than to wear it for any other reason or purpose except to please Allah.

The last paragraph is my opinion and May Allah forgive us, ameen.

Serenity :sl::statisfie
SubhanAllah WahumduAllah for your beautiful definition of wearing and not wearing Hijab. If only other women who wear hijab for outer purpose could read this.
May Allah's peace and blessings be upon Hafizeena Faroja hum wal Hafizaat. Aameen:wa:
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cat eyes
08-17-2009, 12:00 PM
Originally Posted by SalafiFemaleJih
not everyone thinks like you. I went to the mosque "this lady was telling other lady that "these days guys want someone who is not niqaabi/hijabi" I was wearing niqaab right I felt soo bad. she continued saying "usually people with niqaab/hijab are bad girls..they try to look nice in front of people but inside they are bad...and the guys side wants someone who are not hijabi/niqabi.

I was just staring at her blankly...then salah started...I was gonna give her lecture on that...then I told myself "forget it...its no use."

Not all hijabis/niqaabis are bad...yeah, they might be few...but really nobody can judge them...Allah knows best about their intentions.

gtg college....lates.

walaikum salaaam wr wb.
hate those people who judge others, i would have spoken up about the womans comment and have had a heated argument with her so she can know sister what she saying is a major sin..because my blood boils when a human thinks they are god and knows peoples hearts...
im sure she has met some bad eggs who wear the niqab but she can't judge everybody,thats just sick and disgusting commenting on her sisters like that
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cat eyes
08-17-2009, 12:19 PM
btw i believe that the only reason why some sisters want to marry reverts is because they want that security, hes a new believer mashallah.. he left all the bad worldly things to come to islam..

he knows what benfits him and what harms him as some men before finding islam were taking drugs, drinking alcohol sleeping around with girls.. and born muslims today have all the pressures of that, (not all of them)some of them so from my own opinion is from me being a girl myself girls want that security brother

i have spoken with many sisters myself and they want to marry reverts and thats the reason right there.

but i prefer born muslim myself.. :p
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hrm
08-17-2009, 06:37 PM
Originally Posted by cat eyes


but i prefer born muslim myself.. :p
:nervous:
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