Anger

[anonymous]

:sl:

:grumbling I just need some advice concerning my anger. I am not usually an angry or violent person but lately my husband have i have been arguing all of the time and it is really getting to me. We argue over petty things which esculate.Sometimes i get so angry that i start to lash out and i feel it is getting out of control. I am under alot of pressure at the moment and although this is no excuse i feel that this is affecting me. My husband is really doing my head in and i don't really know what to do about this. I feel so bad and down...really i feel lost.

:w:

[The Ruler]

wow!! u gotta calm down....i mean all of us has anger rite...but lashin out at ur husband!! *shakes head in disbelief*...i no how it feels wen ur angry...i mean it happens to me wid ma parents...i obviously dont lash out but i do argue...i no it aint gud but atleast betta dan lashin out. so wat i wud say is dat u ry to control it....argue if u wanna but do not cause physical harm by lashin out :)

:w:

[Z]

Salaam.

Calm down back there. Now I'm in no position to advise you on this, but I can say that normally, when two people argue all the time over almost every little thing, it's 'cause there's something else that either of them wants sorting.

Talk to him about whether he needs help with anything. Or if there's something that he wants that's missing. You'll be suprised to know.

[afriend]

I go thru a similar situation wiv ma parents.

But then i started thinking before i openned my big mouth.

I just stayed quiet and just listenned.....There is no point arguing.

Just let them say what they like, do what they like......

Once they cool down, they are nicer to me cos now i can control myself......

But, seriously, those kalms tablets are a god send.

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[Shadz111]

Salamz sis

U know when I get angry or I know something has *&eed me off:grumbling ..I quickly say aoozobillahiminashshaytanirrajim....or just pray anything that comes to u...InshAllah that way slowly slowy ur anger will calm down.

Make dua aswell sis Allah is always der.

wasalam

[The Ruler]

but in sum cases it cud be different...cuz i sumtimes feel lyk am loosin...so lyk i keep arguin until da other person stops...lyk ma parents...i jus cant tolerate it if dey won da argument :grumbling any advise bot dat...cuz its related to da topic innit :?

:w:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

:sl: Please try not to be angry, think about whats happening, be calm, be rational and follow the advise below :)

Volume 8, Book 73, Number 74:
Narrated Sulaiman bin Surad:

A man from the companions of the Prophet said, "Two men abused each other in front of the Prophet and one of them became angry and his anger became so intense that his face became swollen and changed. The Prophet said, "I know a word the saying of which will cause him to relax if he does say it." Then a man went to him and informed him of the statement of the Prophet and said, "Seek refuge with Allah from Satan." On that, angry man said, 'Do you find anything wrong with me? Am I insane? Go away!"

1. say audhubillah himinash shaytaanir rajim weneva you feel angry :)

Volume 8, Book 73, Number 135:
Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah's Apostle said, "The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger."


Sahih Bukhari

:) say sister control yourself and try to find the root of your anger... it could be jelousy.. just a thot :)

Be patient for Innallaha maa as-sabireen (Allah is wiv the patient)

[afriend]

but in sum cases it cud be different...cuz i sumtimes feel lyk am loosin...so lyk i keep arguin until da other person stops...lyk ma parents...i jus cant tolerate it if dey won da argument :grumbling any advise bot dat...cuz its related to da topic innit :?

:w:

Trust me......Argue wiv ur parents, and ur dead!


Just stay quiet....listen to waht they say.........and do nothing..........

I'm talkin frm past experience........

Also, those Kalms tablets are good if u can't do it urself.....

Altho i neva used it maself.

[The Ruler]

it isnt jealousy bro...its ju dat i h8 lusin arguments :heated:.....n well i tried seekin refuge but i jus cant stop....sumtimes i do wen i no dat ma dads gonna xplode...but still ma anger remains...n i dont talk to him 4 lyk 2 or 3 days...:heated:

:w:

[The Ruler]

Trust me......Argue wiv ur parents, and ur dead!


Just stay quiet....listen to waht they say.........and do nothing..........

I'm talkin frm past experience........

Also, those Kalms tablets are good if u can't do it urself.....

Altho i neva used it maself.

bro i vnt xperienced less!!...i mean all ma lyf practically...if u knew wat iv been thru u wudnt v told me to stay quiet...trust me...im all over it...its jus lyk smtime i fell lyk i h8 em....n not only them...ma sistas as well...at dose tyms its betta if im left alone...but dey jus wont leave me :grumbling

:w:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Trust me......Argue wiv ur parents, and ur dead!


Just stay quiet....listen to waht they say.........and do nothing..........

I'm talkin frm past experience........

Also, those Kalms tablets are good if u can't do it urself.....

Altho i neva used it maself.

Allahs blessing is not on the discussion which turns into an argument!!!

btw lol you can neva go "against" your parents, jus dont try it lol, you'd open your mouth and hear

"CHUP!!!!!!"

lol ;D

[afriend]

Allahs blessing is not on the discussion which turns into an argument!!!

btw lol you can neva go "against" your parents, jus dont try it lol, you'd open your mouth and hear

"CHUP!!!!!!"

lol ;D

Exactly......Don't even think it.......

Just keep quiet....think of the achievement of argue and what u will achieve if u dont......

I can't stand it some of the things my dad goes on about.......

Now it's got to a point that i dont care anymore.

[Shadz111]

but in sum cases it cud be different...cuz i sumtimes feel lyk am loosin...so lyk i keep arguin until da other person stops...lyk ma parents...i jus cant tolerate it if dey won da argument :grumbling any advise bot dat...cuz its related to da topic innit :?

:w:

Salamz sis

I always get that wid my parents and what makes it worse I have two brothers..which they will join in and put big time masala init..and yes it does get me proper angry..but at the end of the day I just say whatevr at least Allah knows whos right and wrong.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Exactly......Don't even think it.......

Just keep quiet....think of the achievement of argue and what u will achieve if u dont......

I can't stand it some of the things my dad goes on about.......

Now it's got to a point that i dont care anymore.

what the HEY!!, respect your parents!!
Care about what they say! Care about what they believe in! Realise that they only want the best for you!
bro trust you gotta wait till your older, dats when your dad will giv you more value and prob listen to you but for now "LISTEN TO HIM".. unless he goes against islam of course :)

[anonymous]

:sl: Please try not to be angry, think about whats happening, be calm, be rational and follow the advise below :)

Volume 8, Book 73, Number 74:
Narrated Sulaiman bin Surad:

A man from the companions of the Prophet said, "Two men abused each other in front of the Prophet and one of them became angry and his anger became so intense that his face became swollen and changed. The Prophet said, "I know a word the saying of which will cause him to relax if he does say it." Then a man went to him and informed him of the statement of the Prophet and said, "Seek refuge with Allah from Satan." On that, angry man said, 'Do you find anything wrong with me? Am I insane? Go away!"

1. say audhubillah himinash shaytaanir rajim weneva you feel angry :)

Volume 8, Book 73, Number 135:
Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah's Apostle said, "The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger."


Sahih Bukhari

:) say sister control yourself and try to find the root of your anger... it could be jelousy.. just a thot :)

Be patient for Innallaha maa as-sabireen (Allah is wiv the patient)

:sl:
Jazakallah for all of the words of advice everyone. The funny thing is i am really not a violent person at all so when i get like this i feel so so bad for my hubby (although he plays his part in all of this) .I had a think about it and i do think that we have some communication problems. My hubby will not discuss problems where as i need to talk about them there and then. I try to walk away sometimes but i often end up feeling worse :? . I dunno i think its just me being hormonal. Anyway thanks again

:w:

[The Ruler]

what the HEY!!, respect your parents!!
Care about what they say! Care about what they believe in! Realise that they only want the best for you!
bro trust you gotta wait till your older, dats when your dad will giv you more value and prob listen to you but for now "LISTEN TO HIM".. unless he goes against islam of course :)

of course daddys lisen wen we r older n dey are old....duh dey dont v any power on u plus dey no dat if dey do summink ud proly go n abandon dem :rollseyes

well....u say dat e shud care bout our parents...care wat dey say...yeh i did once...but dont anymore...i mean da same lecture n da same kinda beatin....man!!...i get bored :uhwhat :uhwhat

:w:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

of course daddys lisen wen we r older n dey are old....duh dey dont v any power on u plus dey no dat if dey do summink ud proly go n abandon dem :rollseyes

well....u say dat e shud care bout our parents...care wat dey say...yeh i did once...but dont anymore...i mean da same lecture n da same kinda beatin....man!!...i get bored :uhwhat :uhwhat

:w:

your dad beats you?... lol SO DID MINE!!!!
and gess what, now i aint a gagnster, i got a good job and im keeping my mum really happy plus i pray and do my duties to Allah (swt)! I got mass beatings, you dont kno, but i was some spoilt brat and i dont blame my parents, i love em!
They lectured me on a regular but i neva got bored, i thot theres a reason behind each lecture!!

sister please dont treat your parents like there minor coz they play a MAJOR part in your goin to heaven!!!
plz try to understand the importance of there words and try your best to respect what they say and obey them!
i kno it can be hard sometimes, BELIEVE ME I DO!! but there our parents... even if there kaafir, EVEN IF THERE THE KUFFAR we have to treat them nicely!!

inshaAllah may Allah guide us!!!

:sl:

[Z]

Salaam.

Hormonal or not, when there's a little odd bit of air, it should be settled instantly. It could end up building up to a huge thing, which would result in the both of you having a go at each other whenever possible.

Like I said, you need to ask and talk to him. Hope it goes well.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

sister be patient wiv him inshaAllah, ask him wats wrong and talk it out. If while talking both of you feel angry, pressured then say audhubillah himinash shaytaanir rajim, take a break and get bak to it but always rememba ur love for each other...

im not good at this coz i aint married lol but.. . hope i helped

:sl:

I pray Allah helps you sis!!!

[The Ruler]

yea but dats da fing...he WONT talk fings out :(

:w:

[afriend]

Same as mine....

Just don't back chat with them, don't talk wen he's in a bad mood, or say anything that's rude.

for the past 2 days, i havent made my parents angry.... :) :'( First time in ages.

[Pinkie]

:sl:

:grumbling I just need some advice concerning my anger. I am not usually an angry or violent person but lately my husband have i have been arguing all of the time and it is really getting to me. We argue over petty things which esculate.Sometimes i get so angry that i start to lash out and i feel it is getting out of control. I am under alot of pressure at the moment and although this is no excuse i feel that this is affecting me. My husband is really doing my head in and i don't really know what to do about this. I feel so bad and down...really i feel lost.

:w:

That inner Shaytaan wakes up when we get pissed off.
The next time you feel your blood boiling with anger, sit down if you are standing...or if you are already sitting down, just stay sitting. Another good way to calm yourself down is make wu'du. Maybe, it's a little hard to do at first because when we are angry, we become different people-we say things we don't mean, and unfortunately we lash out on our loved ones. Know that you becoming extremely angry will not get you or your husband anywhere.

[Issa]

it isnt jealousy bro...its ju dat i h8 lusin arguments :heated:.....n well i tried seekin refuge but i jus cant stop....sumtimes i do wen i no dat ma dads gonna xplode...but still ma anger remains...n i dont talk to him 4 lyk 2 or 3 days...:heated:

:w:

:sl: ,

Hello sister. I wanted to ask if you think you are right EVERY time you argue with your parents? You say you hate to lose a fight but do you stop before the fight truly begins and think about if it's a fight worth having? If you just hate to lose even when you are wrong then it is arrogance and you should be careful of that. Try to avoid the arguements whenever possible. If you have a point to make and it is valid then a calm discussion is how you want to present your side. They are more likely to listen that way.

[Top muslimah]

Hi sister, i hope you find the help that you need, i had same problems,but i found that communication is the key. I found that by sitting my hubby down and having a mature conversation with him has helped. Now he knows what is acceptable to me and what i will not tolerate and vice-versa.

Marriage is also a friendship and both parties have to compromise to achieve a common goal. You have to spend your lives together so take it easy!.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Hi sister, i hope you find the help that you need, i had same problems,but i found that communication is the key. I found that by sitting my hubby down and having a mature conversation with him has helped. Now he knows what is acceptable to me and what i will not tolerate and vice-versa.

Marriage is also a friendship and both parties have to compromise to achieve a common goal. You have to spend your lives together so take it easy!.

Alhamdullilah an experienced advice, i'll rememba that for wen my time comes :statisfie

[Maimunah]

Alhamdullilah an experienced advice, i'll rememba that for wen my time comes :statisfie

lol me too;D
jazakaallah khayr