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Malsidabym
03-28-2006, 01:19 PM
It is interesting that certain members of this forum can not seem to
speak to others without being extremly rude. I find that these few
members are so ready for a fight, that even when an opinion is stated,
or a question is asked that is innocent of any ill intent, they
immediately assume something bad is being said about them or thier
faith. They are immediately on the attack. This paranoia leads to many
unnecessary squabbles.
And when there is a debate in which there is differing views, whoa!
Look out! Insults, both direct and indirect. Accusations. Denials. It
is completely irrational, and rarely do the debates produce anything
fruitful.
I have watch two members debate in particular. One debates as I have
mentioned, while the other very patiently and respectfully offers his
rebuttles. He never backs down, but is always respectful. The
irrational one ends up never making any real point (but always claims
victory) because this member is always angry. I believe it clouds the
thinking.
The real problem for this member though, and those of the same faith,
is they are so rude, that it makes thier faith really nonappealling.
Others must think, "Wow, this behavior is not going to win me over".
Worse yet, they are directly disobeying God. In most faiths God
commands us to be polite. Does this member believe they do not have to
obey God?
The reason I bring this up, is that these few rude individuals are
making it difficult for members that want to have peaceful, calm,
rational discussion. It creates a poison environment, that makes it
difficult to learn anything. From my own point of view I just play
along until they get tired of the game. The problem is little is
learned during this time. Ihope that those members might read this and
consider thier behavior. I also hope other members will speak up and
politely ask them to behave when this behavior is occuring.
Peace.
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1m@@n
03-28-2006, 03:33 PM
:salamext:

'Invite (mankind) to the way of your Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching & reason with them in the best manners possible.’(al Nahl 16:12).

be nice to each other peeps!! if you wanna make a point, then do so, but with respect inshaAllah...

its easy to get ur point accross by being harsh, mocking others and having the final say...but ask urself what u gained??? what point have u actually got accross?? what impression av u left in the mind of others bout u?

Patience, kind speech, understanding anddd manners go a longgggggg way inshaAllah...

:w:
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Malsidabym
03-28-2006, 04:25 PM
its easy to get ur point accross by being harsh, mocking others and having the final say...but ask urself what u gained??? what point have u actually got accross?? what impression av u left in the mind of others bout u?
Actually sister, I would disagree (respectfully of course, LOL), It is difficult to get your point across while being rude. This behavior deminishes your point. When you are rude, your credibility is brought into question. When two people have a disageement, and one is calm and the other loses his temper, the calm one is always viewed as the one that is correct.
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1m@@n
03-28-2006, 09:44 PM
Originally Posted by Malsidabym
Actually sister, I would disagree (respectfully of course, LOL), It is difficult to get your point across while being rude. This behavior deminishes your point. When you are rude, your credibility is brought into question. When two people have a disageement, and one is calm and the other loses his temper, the calm one is always viewed as the one that is correct.
:salamext:

hehe...respect 4 respect..urmm respect 4 no respect 2 in my book! lolz **smiles**

oh...im sorry bout that...misunderstanding..

what i meant to say was that the person acting rude at d time of debate may feel that he/she is making a valid point yet on reviewing what he/she has sed afterwards (if bothered) will realise that everything he/she sed was actually of no relevance 2 the debate in d 1st place...quite pointless and all that was achieved was simply wasting time and looking quite silly infront of others..

yes staying cool minded and patient does help 1 think about what he/she is saying, hence talk with relevance about d topic being discussed....although from observation ive noted that a person in dis state of mind doesnt necessarily 'always' have to be right either...

ws
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Malsidabym
03-29-2006, 05:55 AM
We seem to agree completely on this. :)
Reply

1m@@n
03-29-2006, 12:10 PM
Originally Posted by Malsidabym
We seem to agree completely on this. :)

:salamext:

hehe goody goood.....;D

ws
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Malsidabym
03-29-2006, 05:38 PM
I do learn from the rude members as well though, some times from the points they make, but more often just how not to behave.
Reply

Muhammad
03-29-2006, 05:45 PM
Greetings,

Thank you Malsidabym for raising this point. I am sure that the staff members will try their best in issuing warnings and reminders for members who break the forum rules.

Peace :).
Reply

Joe98
03-30-2006, 12:11 AM
Originally Posted by Malsidabym
……that even when an opinion is stated, or a question is asked that is innocent of any ill intent, they immediately assume something bad is being said about…..their faith. They are immediately on the attack. This paranoia leads to……

Here in the West the problem is the same. A discussion with a Muslim or a question posed to a Muslin is usually interpreted as an attack on Islam.

It is very frustrating.

-
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1m@@n
03-30-2006, 12:32 AM
Originally Posted by Joe98
Here in the West the problem is the same. A discussion with a Muslim or a question posed to a Muslin is usually interpreted as an attack on Islam.

It is very frustrating.

-
hmm...what exact problem r u referring 2 @ Joe98

hmm....are we associating rude unacceptable behaviour wid 'muslims' only here???? or 'people' in general....

cos frankly just like no 2 christians r alike....no 2 muslims r alike eitha...so i strongly suggest that u refer 2 any particular person uve had a not so good experience with or wateva as an individual....

and i disagree fully with ur statment of ....a discussion with 'a muslim' usually being interpreted as an attack on islam....thats ur perception...and many non muslims i can guarantee would disagree with ur statement...

dats like me sayin dat the problem here in the west is the fact that all 'non muslims' view practicing muslims as extremists.....lolz..wheres the logic in dat?? cos i know many respectful 'non muslims' inc christians who r open minded n appreciate individual beliefs...

ps- if you have any questions ur in the right place for an open debate...i assure you that ur q's will not be regarded as an attack on islam...respect 4 respect....simple rule 2 follow whetha musim or non muslim...
Reply

vpb
03-30-2006, 01:00 AM
Malsidabym, I agree with your thread.
Reply

Joe98
03-30-2006, 01:28 AM
Originally Posted by sister 1maan uk
hmm...what exact problem r u referring 2 @ Joe98

The same problem posted by a different person at the beginning of this thread. So far everybody has agreed. But you have to attack me.

Thank you for demonstrating my point. ;D ;D ;D

-
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Sis786
03-30-2006, 08:17 AM
She asked you a question not attacked you!
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shanu
03-30-2006, 08:48 AM
Originally Posted by Joe98
Here in the West the problem is the same. A discussion with a Muslim or a question posed to a Muslin is usually interpreted as an attack on Islam.

It is very frustrating.

-
Oh my respectful dear brother from the west
what actually sister and the brother who started this thread is talking about is generalisation. Here u referred to muslim? A question posed to muslim is referred to as an attack. Actually not. Its our duty to clear ur misconception. That is y most muslims answer back. But please dont say Muslims in general? just say a particular muslim i know says this and this. That sounds much better.
a question posed to a Muslin is usually interpreted as an attack on Islam
;D I didnt know Muslin and Cheesecloth are involved in this debates? When since did cheesecloth and muslin become Muslims ;D
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1m@@n
03-30-2006, 12:15 PM
Originally Posted by Joe98
The same problem posted by a different person at the beginning of this thread. So far everybody has agreed. But you have to attack me.

Thank you for demonstrating my point. ;D ;D ;D

-
lolz...well im sorry u feel 'attacked' ;D maybe u should read back over what u typed earlier n reflect....

yes i agree with the starter of this thread...and no i dont agree fully with ur opinion..or should i say wid 'ur words'....(with all respect of course) :okay:

LOLZ @ shanu sis......**hugzz**
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