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Sister_Ayesha
03-28-2006, 06:40 PM
Islam, Muslims. What do you think when you hear those words? Do you think terrorists, people who enslave their wives, or people who hate others not following them? Do you think this because of what you hear on the TV, read in the paper, or hear on the streets? Did you ever try and learn more about what Islam stands for?

I was in college in my disability and society class when I heard about the World Trade Towers. I was shocked at what I was hearing; I couldn’t believe it was happening. I prayed for the families of those that died, for those that were suffering, for those that were trapped. I went to church services in honor of them and to pray for them. I prayed that those who died who be forgiven for their sins through Jesus. I hear that Islamic Terrorists were responsible for the attack. I didn’t understand why they would do it and kill so many people for all over the world. That was the first time I also heard about Islam. When I was in High school I tried to fit in. I went to parties, I dated, but I never was into drinking alcohol. I was in Band, studied hard, and was a cheerleader. I did everything that a normal High school student did. In 2002 I met a man that I decided to marry. He was from a different country, culture and religion. He was Muslim. After 9/11 I hear bad things about Islam, but I was taught not to judge a person by religion, culture or anything else but personality. I knew him and I loved him, so I decided to marry him. I learnt about Islam do I could understand it better and in a way understand my husband better. My husband was respectful of my religion supported me in going to church. I read more and more on Islam and the more I agreed with it. I converted to Islam on my own, with NO pressure from anyone. I choose to wear hijab on my own. I summit to Allah alone. When I was Christian I was one of you, accepted. Now that I’m Muslim I’m different. I’m not someone that can be accepted in the society. What has change about my personality? Nothing, I’m the same person that I was when I was Christian. I just wear different clothes and my religion changed. Religion doesn’t change who I am as a person. So now why am I treated differently? Why now do people discriminate against me? I am person with feeling just like you, with hopes and dreams. Why now am I different?

Ayesha Farooq
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Snowflake
03-28-2006, 06:51 PM
:sl:

Welcome to Islam dear sis. All I can say is that people judge a book by it's cover. I asked myself the same question as you when I started wearing hijaab+nikaab and even muslims started treating me differently. Like I'm a saint or something. Astaghfirullah! I was like errr.. I'm the same person inside u know i.e I'm not perfect. But that's how it goes sis. Maybe it's harder for you no longer fit in with the 'other' side. But don't let it worry ya. You changed for Allah swt, and that's what will be taken into account at the end.
May Allah bless you with His rahmah and mercy. Ameen.

:w: :sister:
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HeiGou
03-28-2006, 06:56 PM
Originally Posted by Sister_Ayesha
When I was Christian I was one of you, accepted. Now that I’m Muslim I’m different. I’m not someone that can be accepted in the society. What has change about my personality? Nothing, I’m the same person that I was when I was Christian. I just wear different clothes and my religion changed. Religion doesn’t change who I am as a person. So now why am I treated differently? Why now do people discriminate against me? I am person with feeling just like you, with hopes and dreams. Why now am I different?
Actually when a lot of people convert to Islam something changes. Perhaps not all of them and perhaps not very radically. But the whole mentality of Muslims really is different. Ask yourself if you have the same atittude to the war in Iraq. Ask yourself if you have the same attitude to the Constitution. Do you still pray for your Family?

Your hopes and dreams are now different. How can they be treated as the same? Quite possibily your hopes and dreams are dangerous - the Shoe Bomber Richard Reid was a convert, a Dutch convert blew herself up in Iraq the other day, the leader of the 7-7 plot was married to a White English convert.

You have chosen this community of Muslims. You cannot complain if that means leaving the community of non-Muslims because that is what being a Muslim means. Your choice.
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03-28-2006, 06:59 PM
:sl:

First of all sis I congratulate you on coming to the straight path. Allah has chosen to lead you to the straight path and sis even though it doesn't look like that you've changed, you have. You've become a better person in the eyes of Allah swt. And if other people cant except that, tell them to Do One. If you are firm in your beliefs sis, Allah will reward you on the Day of Judgement, Inshallah.

Tkcr! :rose:


:w:
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The Ruler
03-28-2006, 06:59 PM
:sl: :sister:

[BANANA]:welcome: to islam dear sis :happy: :) :)[/BANANA]
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Snowflake
03-28-2006, 07:01 PM
True. Well said sis Pagal Kuri! :D
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03-28-2006, 07:02 PM
Jazakallah :)
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north_malaysian
03-29-2006, 04:01 AM
Does people reaction to u converting to Islam IS MORE IMPORTANT than the choice u made to be Muslims.

Non Muslims can say whatever they want about Islam and Muslims, BUT I WILL BE FOREVER A MUSLIM because I believe it's the truth. :happy:
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snakelegs
03-29-2006, 05:48 AM
Originally Posted by HeiGou
Actually when a lot of people convert to Islam something changes. Perhaps not all of them and perhaps not very radically. But the whole mentality of Muslims really is different. Ask yourself if you have the same atittude to the war in Iraq. Ask yourself if you have the same attitude to the Constitution. Do you still pray for your Family?

Your hopes and dreams are now different. How can they be treated as the same? Quite possibily your hopes and dreams are dangerous - the Shoe Bomber Richard Reid was a convert, a Dutch convert blew herself up in Iraq the other day, the leader of the 7-7 plot was married to a White English convert.

You have chosen this community of Muslims. You cannot complain if that means leaving the community of non-Muslims because that is what being a Muslim means. Your choice.
i think you are talking about things more on the surface. the essence of a person does not change when the labels change. so her interests and opinions may have changed, but she is still the same person. just because she is a muslim does not mean she has suddenly turned in to a dangerous person. if she was a peaceful loving person before, she still is.
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HeiGou
03-29-2006, 08:36 AM
Originally Posted by snakelegs
i think you are talking about things more on the surface. the essence of a person does not change when the labels change. so her interests and opinions may have changed, but she is still the same person. just because she is a muslim does not mean she has suddenly turned in to a dangerous person. if she was a peaceful loving person before, she still is.
Actually I am not sure. I guess it depends on how good a Muslima she is. But take the issue of praying for her family. Muhammed did not pray for his mother because she died a pagan. Muslims should not pray for their parents if their parents are not Muslims - or at least that is my understanding. Now think about the mental change that you have to undergo to not care about your Mother in that way any more and tell me again she is still the same person. It is true that people can convert for shallow reasons, but once she internalises the conversion and accepts that she is now a member of this community and not that community, with all that this change entails, how can she be the same person? That is not to say she has suddenly become a dangerous person. But the chances of her doing violent things to her relatives, I suspect, have gone up somewhat.
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03-29-2006, 09:00 AM
But the chances of her doing violent things to her relatives, I suspect, have gone up somewhat.
On which aspect of Islam, may I ask, are you basing that argument?
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HeiGou
03-29-2006, 09:10 AM
Originally Posted by Pagal Kuri
On which aspect of Islam, may I ask, are you basing that argument?
On the simple grounds that, as far as I can see, Islam demands that if you have to make a choice between your family and God, you have to choose God. In Muhammed's time the normal way of greeting him was to ask that your Mother and Father be killed for him. For instance

Volume 2, Book 23, Number 333:

Narrated 'Aisha :

Abu Bakr came riding his horse from his dwelling place in As-Sunh. He got down from it, entered the Mosque and did not speak with anybody till he came to me and went direct to the Prophet, who was covered with a marked blanket. Abu Bakr uncovered his face. He knelt down and kissed him and then started weeping and said, "My father and my mother be sacrificed for you, O Allah's Prophet! Allah will not combine two deaths on you. You have died the death which was written for you."

You think that was just words?

Volume 4, Book 54, Number 510:

Narrated 'Aisha:

On the day (of the battle) of Uhud when the pagans were defeated, Satan shouted, "O slaves of Allah! Beware of the forces at your back," and on that the Muslims of the front files fought with the Muslims of the back files (thinking they were pagans). Hudhaifa looked back to see his father "Al-Yaman," (being attacked by the Muslims). He shouted, "O Allah's Slaves! My father! My father!" By Allah, they did not stop till they killed him. Hudhaifa said, "May Allah forgive you." 'Urwa said that Hudhaifa continued to do good (invoking Allah to forgive the killer of his father till he met Allah (i.e. died).

Correct me if I am wrong, but it seems to me that conversion means praying for the killers of your pagan Father, not for your Father.
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03-29-2006, 09:23 AM
demands that if you have to make a choice between your family and God, you have to choose God.
Yh...what's ur point? God is FIRST than anyone else in our life and religion.

Correct me if I am wrong, but it seems to me that conversion means praying for the killers of your pagan Father, not for your Father.
Yep, you are wrong. His father was not a pagan, if you read that carefully it says:
(thinking they were pagans)
...

In any case, Allah comes first, before any being, whether that be your mother or father.
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HeiGou
03-29-2006, 09:27 AM
Originally Posted by Pagal Kuri
Yh...what's ur point? God is FIRST than anyone else in our life and religion.
This is not typical of normal non-Muslim life where, by and large, we rather like our families and do not have strong alliances outside of them. So as I said, the chances of her choosing her God over her family have gone up a lot.

Yep, you are wrong. His father was not a pagan, if you read that carefully it says:
Damn it. Sorry. Wrong quote. My mistake. I'll see if I can find the one I was thinking of.

In any case, Allah comes first, before any being, whether that be your mother or father.
Which is pretty much all I said. This is not typical of non-Muslim religions except perhaps for some fringe cults. Maybe they would like to do this, but they tend not to. Usually people tend to prefer their families to their religious authorities.
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IbnAbdulHakim
03-29-2006, 09:32 AM
Originally Posted by HeiGou
Muhammed did not pray for his mother because she died a pagan. .
yea thats true, but he wanted to, he wanted to dearly but Allah forbid him to pray for disbelievers... still i read bout his parents being extremely kind and generous people.

Now think about the mental change that you have to undergo to not care about your Mother in that way any more and tell me again she is still the same person
Who said he didnt care for her! He loved her, he wanted to pray 4 his parents but was "forbidden"... that duznt make a difference to his feelings.

Peace
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snakelegs
03-29-2006, 09:33 AM
Originally Posted by HeiGou
This is not typical of non-Muslim religions except perhaps for some fringe cults. Maybe they would like to do this, but they tend not to. Usually people tend to prefer their families to their religious authorities.
actually i think (not 100% sure) that jesus is supposed to have said stuff like people should choose him over their family.
i'm sure one of the christians on this board can correct me or elaborate.
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03-29-2006, 09:39 AM
Usually people tend to prefer their families to their religious authorities.
Could you extend on this plz? I didn't quite understand...
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HeiGou
03-29-2006, 09:41 AM
Originally Posted by snakelegs
actually i think (not 100% sure) that jesus is supposed to have said stuff like people should choose him over their family.
i'm sure one of the christians on this board can correct me or elaborate.
I tend to think he did too,

Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth; I have come not to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man's foes will be those of his own household. He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

Matthew 10.34-37

But as the Muslims around here keep pointing out, Christians don't take their religion very seriously any more. Besides which violence in Christianity is a state monopoly. However it was not supposed to be a comment specifically about conversion to Islam. She is, however, leaving a community where such things are irrelevant and have no consequences, to join one where they are not and do.

O believers, take not your fathers and brothers to be your friends, if they prefer unbelief to belief; whosoever of you takes them for friends, those--they are the evildoers.

Say, "If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your clan, your possessions that you have gained, commerce you fear may slacken, dwellings you love--if these are dearer to you than God and His Messenger, and to struggle in His way, then wait till God brings His command: God guides not the people of the ungodly."

Qur'an 9.23-24
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03-29-2006, 09:43 AM
Wow , u actually quoted something from the Qur'an for once! :ooh:

But as the Muslims around here keep pointing out, Christians don't take their religion very seriously any more.
Not necessarily all Muslims think that...
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Duhaa
03-29-2006, 09:46 AM
In the Qur'aan, yes it does say 'that you do not associate anything as a partner with Him'. But look at the next part:
'That you give beautiful conduct to the two parents' Surah al-An'am part of ayah 151

And that means whether they are Muslim or non-Muslim. You are to treat them with the utmost respect. And only if it involves disobedience to Allah should it change things and even then they are still treated with respect, only that you cant be dutiful to them if they tell you to disobey Allah. In all other matters you must still obey and be dutiful to them.

Read this hadith:

On the authority of Asmaa' Bint Abi Bakr she said "My mother came to visit me one day. At that time she was still a polytheist and there was a pledge between the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, and Quraish (one of the great tribes in Arabia that lived in Mecca in the pre Islamic Period of Ignorance who used to enjoy great spiritual and financial powers). I requested the Prophet's , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, religious verdict and said: Oh Prophet of Allah, my mother came to visit me, seeking my help; should I keep a good relationship with her? Yes, keep a good relation with her said the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him:. Reported by Bukhari and Muslim, and this narration is listed in Sahih Muslim under # 1003.

In another version narrated by Ahmad, on the authority of Asmaa' Bint Abi Bakr she said " My mother came to visit me when she was still a polytheist and she was living amongst Quraish. She was desirous, meaning in need, so I asked the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, and said: Oh Prophet of Allah my mother came to me and she is a polytheist and she needs help. Should I keep a good relationship with her? He said yes maintain a good relationship with her.

You think them are just words?

And the companions of the Prophet used to say those words because the Prophet was more dearer to them than their parents.

If you still have doubts then read this:
As-Salamu `Alaykum. I am the only Muslim in my family and I read the Hadith that Paradise lies under the feet of the mother. What is the meaning of this Hadith, and is this also true of a mother who is non-Muslim? Jazakum Allah khayran.

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear questioner, thank you very much for having confidence in us, and we hope our efforts, which are purely for Allah's Sake, meet your expectations.

Indeed, Islam orders us to be kind and loyal to parents, whether or not they are Muslim. Referring to this, Allah Almighty says: “Thy Lord has decreed, that you worship none save Him, and (that you show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, say not ‘Fie’ unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word.” (Al-Isra’: 23)

However, favoring parents and being dutiful to them is not allowed if it involves disobedience to Allah.

In his response to the question, Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, former President of the Islamic Society of North America states:

“This is an authentic Hadith and it is mentioned in many books of Hadith. In one version reported by Ibn Majah it is mentioned that the Prophet told a person, “Be at your mother’s feet and there is the Paradise.” (Ibn Majah, Sunan, Hadith no. 2771)

The meaning of the Hadith is that you should serve your mother and take good care of her. Obey her as long as she does not tell you to do something haram.
It does not make any difference whether the mother is Muslim or non-Muslim. It is the duty of the children to be respectful to their parents, especially mothers. Allah says in the Qur’an:

“And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (your final) Goal. But if they strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which you have no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (And consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to Me. In the End the return of you all is to Me, and I will tell you the truth (and meaning) of all that you did.” (Luqman: 14-15)

If the mother is a pious Muslim woman, then she is the woman of Jannah (Paradise) and in her service indeed there is Jannah. But if she is not a pious Muslimah or if she is not a Muslimah, still your Jannah is in her service because you serve her in obedience to Allah. The Jannah of the children is near the feet of their mothers, but the Jannah of the mothers is in their own obedience to Allah.”

Source:http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...atwaE%2FFatwaE

Although, come to think of it, this is all off topic.
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03-29-2006, 09:47 AM
Although, come to think of it, this is all off topic.
No, not necessaily sis, Its on topic :)

Jazkallah for the info! :sister:
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Duhaa
03-29-2006, 09:51 AM
Originally Posted by HeiGou
Actually I am not sure. I guess it depends on how good a Muslima she is. But take the issue of praying for her family. Muhammed did not pray for his mother because she died a pagan. Muslims should not pray for their parents if their parents are not Muslims - or at least that is my understanding. Now think about the mental change that you have to undergo to not care about your Mother in that way any more and tell me again she is still the same person. It is true that people can convert for shallow reasons, but once she internalises the conversion and accepts that she is now a member of this community and not that community, with all that this change entails, how can she be the same person? That is not to say she has suddenly become a dangerous person. But the chances of her doing violent things to her relatives, I suspect, have gone up somewhat.

I am a Muslim and I have some non-muslim relatives and I have never felt like doing anything violent to them.
Is this your idea of stereotyping, that every person who becomes a muslim will suddenly want to kill their non-muslim relatives, I dont think so.
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03-29-2006, 09:59 AM
Originally Posted by Duhaa
I am a Muslim and I have some non-muslim relatives and I have never felt like doing anything violent to them.
Is this your idea of stereotyping, that every person who becomes a muslim will suddenly want to kill their non-muslim relatives, I dont think so.
Woah.....Strong viewpoint there :p
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Duhaa
03-29-2006, 10:04 AM
Originally Posted by Pagal Kuri
No, not necessaily bro, Its on topic :)

Jazkallah for the info! :sister:

....and I'm a sister. ;)
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03-29-2006, 10:06 AM
Oh yh soz am in college and brain nt functioning properly....

Plus ur screen name in Urdu means "The Groom" so thats why.... :embarrass
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snakelegs
03-30-2006, 02:27 AM
Originally Posted by HeiGou
I tend to think he did too,

Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth; I have come not to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man's foes will be those of his own household. He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

Matthew 10.34-37

yes, that's the quote i was thinking of.


But as the Muslims around here keep pointing out, Christians don't take their religion very seriously any more. Besides which violence in Christianity is a state monopoly. However it was not supposed to be a comment specifically about conversion to Islam. She is, however, leaving a community where such things are irrelevant and have no consequences, to join one where they are not and do.

good point.

O believers, take not your fathers and brothers to be your friends, if they prefer unbelief to belief; whosoever of you takes them for friends, those--they are the evildoers.

Say, "If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your clan, your possessions that you have gained, commerce you fear may slacken, dwellings you love--if these are dearer to you than God and His Messenger, and to struggle in His way, then wait till God brings His command: God guides not the people of the ungodly."

Qur'an 9.23-24
while i find the quotes you have given from the qur'an objectionable, i think it is a big stretch from not praying for your family (which i find very strange) and feeling violent toward your family. i do not believe that if a person is not violent, they will become so after changing their religion.
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vpb
03-30-2006, 02:44 AM
HeiGou,
Muslims should not pray for their parents if their parents are not Muslims
well, this depends for what and how are u praying for them, maybe sis. prays for them to be guided in the right path.
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vpb
03-30-2006, 02:52 AM
I mean making dua
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Joe98
03-30-2006, 03:37 AM
Originally Posted by north_malaysian
BUT I WILL BE FOREVER A MUSLIM because I believe it's the truth.

I will forever be an athiest because I believe it's the truth. ;D

I also feel that its OK by me that you believe what you want.

-
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gbrl
03-30-2006, 04:03 AM
This is quite ironic since here things are the opposite! The mother is treating the child badly coz of his difference in faith. Anyways, mothers are to be treated kindly no matter what their faith.

Taken from:http://www.al-sunnah.com/convert/a_m..._of_mother.htm

My wife's mother has in effect cut herself off from her daughter in recent times. Whilst there was some form of communication it was often quite turbulent and heated. My wife has tried a number of times to re-establish contact yet her mother refuses, quite stubbornly, to reply. We are both reverts and have often felt that our acceptance of the religion has played some part in her mother's negative attitude. I would be grateful if you could advise us on what me might possibly do to rectify this situation.

Jazak Allahu Khairan

Praise be to Allah,

The reactions of non-muslim mothers towards their children's embracement of Islam varies. Some mothers are peaceful and passive considering this as a personal matter which does not affect the relationship between the mother and her son or daughter. In such cases more piety by the child towards his or her mother will make the mother admire and respect Islam.

Other mothers adopts a more stubborn approach at the beginning but the mother finally gives in and accepts the new religion as a fact of life after she sees the child's determination and persistence which could lead the mother herself to embrace Islam.

In the third case we find that some mothers are constantly stubborn to the extent that she might hurt and oppress her son or daughter. Usually such mothers are blindly prejudice because they consider that her son or daughter had gone astray by leaving the faith of his fathers and ancestors and she must do something to help go back to the right path (according to the mother).

The following are three stories that took place at the time of the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, that involved three of the Sahaba (Companions of the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him) which illustrates the reactions of their mothers after they embraced Islam:

Story #1

On the authority of Asmaa' Bint Abi Bakr she said "My mother came to visit me one day. At that time she was still a polytheist and there was a pledge between the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, and Quraish (one of the great tribes in Arabia that lived in Mecca in the pre Islamic Period of Ignorance who used to enjoy great spiritual and financial powers). I requested the Prophet's , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, religious verdict and said: Oh Prophet of Allah, my mother came to visit me, seeking my help; should I keep a good relationship with her? Yes, keep a good relation with her said the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him:. Reported by Bukhari and Muslim, and this narration is listed in Sahih Muslim under # 1003.

In another version narrated by Ahmad, on the authority of Asmaa' Bint Abi Bakr she said " My mother came to visit me when she was still a polytheist and she was living amongst Quraish. She was desirous, meaning in need, so I asked the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, and said: Oh Prophet of Allah my mother came to me and she is a polytheist and she needs help. Should I keep a good relationship with her? He said yes maintain a good relationship with her.

Story #2

On the authority of Abu-Huraira, who said: I used to call my mother to Islam when she was still a polytheist. One day, while I was calling her she mentioned something about the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, that I detested. So I went to see the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, while crying and told him: I used to call my mother to Islam and she would refuse. I called her today and she mentioned something about you that I detested. Please invoke the blessings and guidance of Allah on her. Then the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, said: O Great Allah guide the mother of Abu-Huraira. So I left full of hope because of the Prophet's supplication for my mother. When I reached home I found that the door was partially closed. My mother heard my footsteps and said: Stay still Abu-Huraira, then I heard the water running; he added my mother performed body ablution, put on her cloths and hurriedly opened the door without her head-cover and said: "None has the right to be worshipped but Allah and Muhammad, Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, is the Messenger of Allah". I went back to the Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, crying of joy and told him: I am bringing you good news; Allah answered your prayers and guided the mother of Abu-Huraira. The Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, praised and glorified Allah and said: this is good. I said: Oh Messenger of Allah, pray to Allah to make me and my mother beloved by Allah's believing slaves and make us love them. The Prophet , Peace and Blessings be Upon Him, said: Oh Allah, make this little slave of Yours and his mother (meaning Abu-Huraira and his mother) become beloved by your believing slaves and make the believers love them. Ever since, there was not a believer who heard of me, even without seeing me, that did not love me. Reported by Muslim in Sahih Muslim (Muslim Authentic volumes) under # 2491.

Story # 3

On the authority of Saa'd (Ibn Abi Waqas May Allah be pleased with him) who said that verses of the Qur'an revealed his story. He said Um Saa'd (his mother) swore not to talk to him ever nor eat or drink until he renounces Islam. She said: You claim that Allah commanded you to obey your parents. I am your mother and I order you to do this ( to renounce Islam). He said: She stayed with nothing to eat or drink for three days until she fainted because of strain. Then one of her other sons named Umarah gave her water to drink. And she started to imprecate against Saa'd, then Allah revealed this verse in the Qur'an, which translates to the meaning of {And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents; but if they strive to make you join with Me (in worship) anything (as a partner) of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Unto Me is your return and I shall tell you what you used to do} Verse 29:8 - Surah 29, Al Ankabut. This Hadith is narrated by Imam Ahmad in his Musnad and in Sahih Muslim in his Sahih under # 1748.

Also, Allah revealed another verse in the Qur'an, which translates to:

"But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that if which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do"( 31:15 - Surah Luqman).

Based on the above stories one can determine how to deal with a non believing mother and can draw the following significant conclusions:

The importance of good presentation of Islam to the non believing mother and to try to kindly persuade her and to strive to convince her as Abu Huraira did (story # 1)

Continue to do good to the non believing mother and to remember that her disbelief does not justify disobedience by the son or daughter and that doing her good does not contradict with your innocence of her as a non believer, on the contrary as it is stated in Verse 31:15 above, Allah has commanded us to treat the non believing parents kindly even if they strive to make their child a polytheist because of their rights as parents hoping that they will embrace Islam.

Continue to sincerely pray and supplicate for the non believing mother hoping that Allah may guide her, as evident in Abu Huraira's story (story #2).

The divine guidance of Allah may come after continuous strive by the child and strong objection of the mother as in Abu Huraira's story, therefore the son should never surrender or give up but should continue to pray and supplicate for the non believing mother.

Regardless of how hard does the non believing mother strive to make the son renounces Islam, and the pressure she will exercise against her son such as refusing to eat or invoking upon him , the son should never surrender or give in nor should he retrocede away from the righteous path as one of the Sahaba said to his non believing mother in a similar situation: :If you had one hundred (100) souls and it all left your body one after the other I will never give up my religion (Islam)".

It seems that the mother in question deliberately oppresses her daughter through estrangement which makes her emotional torn but that should never weaken the muslim or shake his faith and belief in his religion. There is no objection to make the non believing mother understand that you are not going to retrocede , however she (the mother) can kindly ask for anything and she will be immediately answered to it except for giving up this religion.

We ask Allah to quickly guide her to the righteous path and give you patience to call her to Islam and lead you to the righteous and correct way
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vpb
03-30-2006, 04:19 AM
I guess why parents react so bad when they children become true muslims is because they change very fast that it sounds unaccaptable to the parents, a dramatic change, but I think by the time , they will be adopted to that :) And try to find something (ex. a book) of a category that might be interesting to the parent :)

My mother likes natural medicine, so my sisters bought a book of prophetic medicine, and my mother has started getting good intentions for Prophet Mohammed a.s .

Inshallah.
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gbrl
03-30-2006, 04:21 AM
Sis ayesha,

islam has a bad name in the western countries, so they are prejudiced and they WILL judge you. it will be difficult. but try to surround urself with muslims, think of the harsh treatment suffered by the sahaba, and be patient. U have made the right choice, and every bit of humiliation u suffer is recorded as a good deed, and the reward is waiting for u. Hope i uplifted u a little. Keep smiling. U have made the best choice.
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HeiGou
03-30-2006, 07:51 AM
Originally Posted by snakelegs
while i find the quotes you have given from the qur'an objectionable, i think it is a big stretch from not praying for your family (which i find very strange) and feeling violent toward your family. i do not believe that if a person is not violent, they will become so after changing their religion.
I do not think that if you become a Muslim you will become violent by any means. Common sense and a tiny amount of experience with Muslims shows that. But if Jose Padillia had not converted he would not be in jail. If Robert Reid had not converted nor would he. A Dutch convert blew herself up in Iraq a month or two back. If she had not converted.... All I said was that the risk went up. Which it does.
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Sis786
03-30-2006, 08:07 AM
Assalaam Alykum

Firstly Welcome sister to islam, May Allah SWT bless you and your family. Aaameen.

With regards to what has changed that is quite simple. You have now "Chose" to leave one sect and become part of another. Many have this notion that you are Muslim because your parents are Muslims or because you live in a Muslim Country its very rare for a non-muslim person to believe that this women is wearing a Hijab because she wants to, or that this man is staying away from Alcholol and Drugs because of his love and submission to Allah SWT.

When you a Christian women decided to enter Islam on your own free will it must seem like "Ironic" to many non-muslim that you a free independent women wanted to enter a religion which "Forced" you to cover yourslef restricted you from socialising in certain ways. But its not "You" that has changed, i mean yes you have now chose a different way of life and i know this way is best for you and inshallah you will be successful, But for many you have "chose" to go on a dangerous path and the way you must suffer is isolation from your normal society.

Truth is sis that its "them" that dont understand and have been misunderstood. The whole concept of Islam they take from the Media and they believe this is correct.

Your intentions only Allah alone is aware of and he is most forgiving and most kind. So sis if you feel people look at you differently or treat you differently then you should make use of this and try to teach them about Islam and how this path of light has only made you a better person.
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