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sadik
03-30-2006, 02:20 PM
Sleep is a mercy from the Lord of the World. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And have made the night as a covering”

[al-Naba’ 78:10]

i.e., as a covering for you. Hence the scholars agreed that sleeping at night is very important for physical health.

During the first years of life, a child sleeps approximately 22 hours a day, but he wakes up from time to time because he is hungry or sick or thirsty, or for some other need.

The hours of sleep are reduced until the child sleeps for 10 hours when he is six years old, and eight hours when he reaches his teens.

The child has to sleep for this number of hours so that he will grow up healthy and free from nervous tension.

Mistakes that we make:

1. Delaying the child’s sleep causes nervous tension, especially when he has to be woken up to go to school and he has not had enough sleep. This can lead to him not being able to focus in the classroon or even falling asleep in class.

2. Some families have a strict bedtime which is never changed for any reason whatsoever. The child has to sleep at eight o’clock no matter what the circumstances. This is a mistake because if the child is having fun playing, then he is forced to go to sleep, this is a kind of abuse and a lack of respect for his personality. If the child goes to sleep tense, this will be reflected in his sleep, and he will have nightmares and will not be relaxed in his sleep.

3. Some fathers wake their child up to play with him or because they have bought a new toy for him, especially when the father has been at work all day and this is the only opportunity he has. But this is a mistake, because you are interrupting your child’s sleep and it will be difficult for him to relax and go to back to sleep.

4. Some parents use scare tactics to make their children go to sleep. This is the worst mistake that parents can make.

5. Some mothers tell their children frightening stories which may scare them. This has negative effects on the child’s sleep, in the form of nightmares which disturb his sleep.

6. Some families encourage their children to drink liquids such as juice or water, etc., especially just before bedtime. This leads to the bedwetting which most families complain of.

7. Closing the door on the child when he goes to sleep and it is very dark cultivates a fear of the dark in the child; it also makes him restless and unable to sleep well.

8. Not making the child get used to sleeping alone from an early age. Some families allow the child to sleep with the parents or the mother until the age of six. This is a serious mistake, because it makes the child grow up dependent on others and restless.

Hence we advise parents to get their children used to sleeping alone from an early age, from the first year, so that they will be used to that.

Finally: we note that many of the problems which children are suffering from, such as bedwetting, fear of the dark, screaming in their sleep (“night terrors”), falling asleep in school, not being able to concentrate or not going to school at all… are all caused by disturbed sleep and restlessness.
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IbnAbdulHakim
03-30-2006, 02:24 PM
^ amazing advice, jazakAllah khair bro, i will implement tis knowledge inshaAllah
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...
03-30-2006, 02:44 PM
Interesting. I agree with what u've said except 4 the last bit - i don't think children should have to sleep away from their parents from such an early age.
salaa:thankyou: m
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Snowflake
03-30-2006, 04:27 PM
sadik;235097
During the first years of life, a child sleeps approximately 22 hours a day, but he wakes up from time to time because he is hungry or sick or thirsty, or for some other need.

The hours of sleep are reduced until the child sleeps for 10 hours when he is six years old, and eight hours when he reaches his teens.

The child has to sleep for this number of hours so that he will grow up healthy and free from nervous tension.
I take it that you don't have children. I've yet to see a baby sleep 22 hours a day. And it gets less as they grow. In fact my teenage bro would've probably sleep for 22 hours if he could get away with it.

Hence we advise parents to get their children used to sleeping alone from an early age, from the first year, so that they will be used to that.
It's very difficult to separate yourself from your child after carrying him for nine months. I don't know how mothers can put their tiny newborn in a seperate room. I'd never be able to relax if I couldnt see my child. My sons now 8 and he still sleeps with me. And I still check on his breathing when he sounds too quiet. :):giggling:
It's not as though he'll be a kid forever, so am making the most of it. These moments are so precious.

:w:
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04-03-2006, 09:05 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslimah_Sis

It's very difficult to separate yourself from your child after carrying him for nine months. I don't know how mothers can put their tiny newborn in a seperate room. I'd never be able to relax if I couldnt see my child. My sons now 8 and he still sleeps with me. And I still check on his breathing when he sounds too quiet. :):giggling:
It's not as though he'll be a kid forever, so am making the most of it. These moments are so precious.

:w:
that's just wehat i meant.:)
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Snowflake
04-03-2006, 09:18 AM
I know their childhood is over so fast sis. It's like he was only born yesterday. However sleeping with mummy does have it's consequences lol. I think all the extra cuddles made him feel so close to me that he said he wants to marry me :giggling:

I explained that sons can't marry their mums and he will have to marry a nice girl. He said ok but he will still sleep with me even then hahahahaha! I was like no no.. you will sleep with ur wife and get ur own place cuz this house will be too small for you when you have kids. He pondered over this for a moment then replied, "But mummy you will be in the ground then." :offended:

Lol, son I have no intention of dying that young inshaAllah! ;D
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...
04-03-2006, 09:43 AM
:giggling: Aaaaaaaaaw that's so sweet!:giggling: ;D lolz
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04-03-2006, 10:48 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Asma1
Interesting. I agree with what u've said except 4 the last bit - i don't think children should have to sleep away from their parents from such an early age.
salaa:thankyou: m
Why?
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04-03-2006, 10:49 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslimah_Sis
I know their childhood is over so fast sis. It's like he was only born yesterday. However sleeping with mummy does have it's consequences lol. I think all the extra cuddles made him feel so close to me that he said he wants to marry me :giggling:

I explained that sons can't marry their mums and he will have to marry a nice girl. He said ok but he will still sleep with me even then hahahahaha! I was like no no.. you will sleep with ur wife and get ur own place cuz this house will be too small for you when you have kids. He pondered over this for a moment then replied, "But mummy you will be in the ground then." :offended:

Lol, son I have no intention of dying that young inshaAllah! ;D

Aww bless sis :rose:
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...
04-05-2006, 10:46 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Pagal Kuri
Why?

Coz they are only little and they need 2 be looked after. It also prevents cot deaths and such. Would u leave ur little child in another room while u sleep?:hmm:
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renak
04-08-2006, 05:48 AM
How would you have intimate relations with your husband if the child was in your bedroom?
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Snowflake
04-08-2006, 07:48 AM
Gagging? :X

With infants it doesn't matter does it? Though some might feel awkward? :?
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renak
04-08-2006, 07:55 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslimah_Sis
Gagging? :X

With infants it doesn't matter does it? Though some might feel awkward? :?

I personally don't think that it would matter with infants. However, some people strongly support the theory that babies in the womb can understand what is spoken. I would think that infants in the bedroom would have an even greater understanding. ;D

I do believe in all the benefits of the family bed. I was never able to sleep in a room away from my child. However, I never had to deal with the intimacy question. I just always wondered how it was handled.
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Snowflake
04-08-2006, 08:02 AM
renak;247845]I personally don't think that it would matter with infants. However, some people strongly support the theory that babies in the womb can understand what is spoken. I would think that infants in the bedroom would have an even greater understanding. ;D
That theory is correct. There's a story about a woman who used to recite the Quran whilst pregnant and when her child began talking he was able to recite verses of the Quran.

I do believe in all the benefits of the family bed. I was never able to sleep in a room away from my child. However, I never had to deal with the intimacy question. I just always wondered how it was handled.
Same here. I think couples have to be very discreet. I knew a family with 3 small kids in Pakistan who only had one room. I dunno how the parents managed anything. I think they used to hang a sheet between their bed and the kids. Last time I visited they'd moved to a house with 3 rooms. Must've have felt like winning the lottery :giggling:
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renak
04-08-2006, 08:11 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslimah_Sis
That theory is correct. There's a story about a woman who used to recite the Quran whilst pregnant and when her child began talking he was able to recite verses of the Quran.


Same here. I think couples have to be very discreet. I knew a family with 3 small kids in Pakistan who only had one room. I dunno how the parents managed anything. I think they used to hang a sheet between their bed and the kids. Last time I visited they'd moved to a house with 3 rooms. Must've have felt like winning the lottery :giggling:

In all honesty, it probably doesn't cause harm for kids to hear their parents being intimate. Families have been living in small accomodations since the creation of time. :giggling: However, I wonder if any research has been done to find if there is a correlation between hearing your parents have sex at an early age, and adult promiscuity (or uncontrolable sexual desires)???? :? That gives me something to research. lol
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aamirsaab
04-08-2006, 08:12 AM
:sl:
If any one you have studied AS psychology - attachement theories, you might have a better understanding of children.

Basically there are three types of attachment a child develops for their mother (in most cases it is the mother, in the event of having no mother an attachment is made with the nurse figure or the mother "replacement"): secure, resistant-insecure and a avoidant-inseucre. Those children with a secure attachment will find it difficult to be away from their parents - so sleeping in the same bed as them will be common whereas resistant and avoidant-insecure children are most likely to be able to sleep by themselves.

p.s:
1) resistant insecure = child will resist/fight mother figure.
2) Avoidant insecure = child will avoid mother figure, ignore her.
3) Secure = children will be strongly attached to mother, will be distressed if mother leaves (excessive crying etc)

End of psychology lesson :).
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IbnAbdulHakim
04-08-2006, 09:50 PM
so what about sleep disturbances in adults? i get disturbed a loT!!!!

and on top of that i wake up for like an hour for fajr!!!

my average sleep = 5-7 hours :(!
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Snowflake
04-09-2006, 04:09 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by renak
In all honesty, it probably doesn't cause harm for kids to hear their parents being intimate. Families have been living in small accomodations since the creation of time. :giggling: However, I wonder if any research has been done to find if there is a correlation between hearing your parents have sex at an early age, and adult promiscuity (or uncontrolable sexual desires)???? :? That gives me something to research. lol
I think being exposed to something before time has it's drawbacks. Children are curious by nature and may even start experimenting while not knowing what it really means. God, I've read accounts of 12 years old who said they didn't know it was possible to get pregnant the first time. We also know that children are having sex as young as 11 nowadays. That's because they are being exposed to all sorts of things via tv/media etc. Now even cartoons have snogging scenes! :offended: I dunno if any research has been done on this sort of thing. But even so, I think it's safe to say that early exposure to this sort of thing can result in children growing up before their time. Compared to kids nowadays I feel I was pretty naive about such matters.
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