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Lina
04-22-2006, 12:15 AM
:sl:

You're married and post on forums;

Does your husband/wife mind; you 'talking' to sisters/brothers?

because let's face it, this forum is more 'chit chat' then actually 'discussing' topics.

:w:
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extinction
04-22-2006, 12:18 AM
I think if I was married I wouldnt let my wife talk on the net in anyway to strangers at all....sounds harsh but you cant be to reckless ..and in return I would cease activites like forums talking on msn with strangers and so on regardless of them being of the same gender...
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Khadeejah
04-22-2006, 12:20 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by hafizmo
I think if I was married I wouldnt let my wife talk on the net in anyway to strangers at all....sounds harsh but you cant be to reckless ..and in return I would cease activites like forums talking on msn with strangers and so on regardless of them being of the same gender...
^ I think that its fair if a husband or wife wants their spouse to end "chit chatting" online the spouse stops as well
Reply

extinction
04-22-2006, 12:24 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Khadeejah
^ I think that its fair if a husband or wife wants their spouse to end "chit chatting" online the spouse stops as well
well thats for anything in life really the way I see it if I want my kids to do something e.g perform salaah or read quraan then I should be an example and do it with them .....or if I wish for my kids not to do something then I myself must refrain from the same thing e.g swearing/cursing....and that goes for the husband/wife thing too...its only fair...I cant expect her to stop internet "fraternizing" if I'm doing the same thing........that would just be wrong....
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S_87
04-22-2006, 03:57 PM
:sl:

whats wrong with sisters talknig to sisters on msn etc?

forums ok but talking to members of opposite gender on msn etc. is different.
well to me anyway
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Muslim Soldier
04-22-2006, 04:03 PM
If its for religious purpose its ok
otherwise...?
Reply

afriend
04-22-2006, 04:10 PM
I mean, I would choose my spuse wisely, so that if they are on these sites etc. they would remain loyal and have Taqwaa....Why should you always have the constant feeling that ur wife/husband is chatting to men/women
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x Maz x
04-22-2006, 05:33 PM
Beware of intermingling with the oposite sex..& from irrelevant idle talk...
"Four Rules of Communication:
1... Is it true?
2... Is it necessary?
3... Is the motive pure?
4... Is it beneficial?
If you can't say 'yes' to all of them, then say nothing at all"

Ibn 'Umar reported that the Prophet (Pbuh) said: "Do not indulge in empty, useless talk without the rememberance of Allah, for excessive talk without Allah's rememberance hardens the heart; and the person farthest from Allah is the one who has a hard heart"
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Starseeker
04-22-2006, 05:36 PM
When i joined i didn't think that there was going to be married people on the forum i thought that it was more for teenagers. But if i was married i don't think that i would be on here
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x Maz x
04-22-2006, 05:43 PM
Sister i still would have been? shall i tell you why...well gaining and seeking dawah is a act that can be carried out at ALL ages...if your intentions are impure and you enter this site to free-mix with the oposite sex and to cause coruption then Astaghfirullullah...your intetions MUST be pure!! WalaykumAsalaam x
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Starseeker
04-22-2006, 05:50 PM
Salaam,
You never know i might still be here then but i doubt it i normally won't stick to any forum for long so lets see how long I last here.
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x Maz x
04-22-2006, 05:53 PM
Neither do i...for several reasons which i dont wish to disclose...but my point being i think married girlies or boys can visit forums because if their intentions are pure and they are willing to gain knowlegde and give dawah i think thats very good MashAllah...WalaykumAsalaam x
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Z
04-22-2006, 06:14 PM
Salaam.

I would keep my wife at home at all times with a wireless fence around the entire house barring all sorts of communication. I'd also have the lamposts and certain objects outside the house rigged with wireless cameras giving live feed to my notebook at work.
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extinction
04-22-2006, 06:17 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Z
Salaam.

I would keep my wife at home at all times with a wireless fence around the entire house barring all sorts of communication. I'd also have the lamposts and certain objects outside the house rigged with wireless cameras giving live feed to my notebook at work.
a wireless fence? wireless cameras? everything wireless has some sort of wires somewhere......... and I think thats waay to harsh......she is your wife and not your slave if you dont trust her then who will??
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x Maz x
04-22-2006, 06:17 PM
Wow talk about protective husband style ...Lovin' it bruv...erm by the way you forgot the handcuffs and the electric chair...i mean she might try to communicate with guests hai hai what you going to do then??...WalaykumAsalaam x
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Z
04-22-2006, 06:18 PM
Salaam.

'if you dont trust her then who will?'

Really, funny you should say that.
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extinction
04-22-2006, 06:21 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Z
Salaam.

'if you dont trust her then who will?'

Really, funny you should say that.
why funny? its true if you dont show you trust her by going through extreme measures she might decide to find someone who actually does trust her.......
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*noor
04-22-2006, 06:21 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by hafizmo
a wireless fence? wireless cameras? everything wireless has some sort of wires somewhere......... and I think thats waay to harsh......she is your wife and not your slave if you dont trust her then who will??
hafizmo is right.........if theres no trust.......then where's the love??
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Z
04-22-2006, 06:22 PM
Salaam.

And she'd understand why she isn't allowed on the Internet and allowed to browse boards and forums?
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*noor
04-22-2006, 06:24 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Z
Salaam.

And she'd understand why she isn't allowed on the Internet and allowed to browse boards and forums?

huh......can u clear up wat u just said?? :?
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extinction
04-22-2006, 06:26 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Z
Salaam.

And she'd understand why she isn't allowed on the Internet and allowed to browse boards and forums?
Im sure people in 2006 and onwards can understand my means of something underneath your nose and the two things on the sides of your head she doesnt need all this wireless stuff....who knows she might just get a laptop with wireless lol
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x Maz x
04-22-2006, 06:28 PM
Z my ol' cod purchased from the local fishmongers, you were hinting at sarcasm on your intial post right? right? right?!!!!! WalaykumAsalaam x
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Z
04-22-2006, 06:28 PM
Salaam.

Ha, clever. I'm guessing you forgot that a fence would bar all ways of communication. In and out. So wireless, wired, whatever, it'll be barred?

Oh well it's silly how you, some people would trust their wives enough to keep the house open and not checking over her, but won't allow her to browse the Internet and boards.

And well done Maz.
Reply

x Maz x
04-22-2006, 06:31 PM
Hehe my one braincell came in handy :)...hence why i replied back in a sarcastic manner! Ah well bless ya WalaykumAsalaam x
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extinction
04-22-2006, 06:36 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Z
Salaam.

Ha, clever. I'm guessing you forgot that a fence would bar all ways of communication. In and out. So wireless, wired, whatever, it'll be barred?

Oh well it's silly how you, some people would trust their wives enough to keep the house open and not checking over her, but won't allow her to browse the Internet and boards.

And well done Maz.
Sorry I didnt pick up on the sarcasm....who said anything about keeping the house open and not checking up on her? I never said I wouldnt allow her to access the internet..I did say though that if I would not want her to go on forums and chats then I myself in return would not go on them..all she wants to know about islam my family can answer ...alhamdulillah by the grace of Allah I come from a family of Ulaamah and if she wants to talk to sisters alhamdulillah there is a great muslim population in orlando...so there is no reason for her to want to go on chats besides pointless talking with males and females...and I dont think I am a boring person I could talk to her all day if she wanted who better to talk to then your husband/wife
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Z
04-22-2006, 11:17 PM
Salaam.

So you just wouldn't allow her to access the Internet? What happened to all the trust you mentioned earlier? You'd trust to leave your wife alone at home, but you don't trust her to be using the Internet and message boards?
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x Maz x
04-23-2006, 11:16 AM
MashAllah Brother Z aggreed :)...WalaykumAsalaam x
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extinction
04-23-2006, 11:20 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Z
Salaam.

So you just wouldn't allow her to access the Internet? What happened to all the trust you mentioned earlier? You'd trust to leave your wife alone at home, but you don't trust her to be using the Internet and message boards?
brother I have bolded this you seem to have missed some key text
I never said I wouldnt allow her to access the internet..I did say though that if I would not want her to go on forums and chats
I never said I will prohibit her or ban her or anything
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x Maz x
04-23-2006, 11:22 AM
So erm may i propose you a question? Out of all due respect why not forums? as your currently visiting them? right so what difference does it make in erm a couple of years time when your married? i think it is okey as long as the Sister is pure in intentions and enters the site purley to gain and seek dawah WalaykumAsalaam x
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Malaikah
04-23-2006, 11:27 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by hafizmo
Sorry I didnt pick up on the sarcasm....
:sl:

mate no offense lol but thats just SLOW... come on man his post was dripping with sarcasm..

there isnt anything wrong with this forum... if you dont want your wife to go on it and are willing to stop using it yourself.. then what are you going here in the first place?

:w:
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extinction
04-23-2006, 11:27 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by x Maz x
So erm may i propose you a question? Out of all due respect why not forums? as your currently visiting them? right so what difference does it make in erm a couple of years time when your married? i think it is okey as long as the Sister is pure in intentions and enters the site purley to gain and seek dawah WalaykumAsalaam x
again like I told the other brother ..mainly because I am 17 right now I most probably will be with my wife around the age of 25 inshallah so thats not "few years" and I plan to not be on Li then ...(i know I'll be missed) also you said forums with an "s" I'm only on this single forum thats it...erm and I also mentioned if her intentions are pure and she wants to gain islamic knowledge(for starters I want a wife who knows alot about Islam) I have alhamdulillah a whole huge massive family of alims alimaahs huffaz and mufti's Im sure they can help her with whatever question she has..so that leaves no real reason for her to want to come to a forum.........I already stated that..and in return neither will I...but if she wants to come on here then I would let her but most probably would make her account as a male name.......cause if her intentions are pure then she doesnt need to disclose her true gender to anyone really
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x Maz x
04-23-2006, 12:02 PM
Okey first MashAllah...nice to know you come from a pious family :) Allah bless you and keep you on Siratum Mustakeem!....what you learn, you should preach...its not only a matter of attaining Islamic knowledge but InshAllah spreading it...I dons see a problem with it but everyones unique and entitlted to their own opnion :)...WalaykumAsalaam x

]"Invite (all) to the way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching, and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for thy Lord knows best who have strayed from His Path and who receive guidance." (16:125)"
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Z
04-23-2006, 12:25 PM
Salaam.

So you would allow her to use the Internet, but not visit boards and forums such as Islamic ones? Or is that all boards and forums?
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The Ruler
04-23-2006, 12:29 PM
i dunno but my mum lyks it cuz she thinks dat i get to know a lot bout islam....n well i actually di know a LOT....a lot more than i didnt know b4 :)

also i get to ask questions i wudnt b able to ask my family n get advise ere :) :)

:w:
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Isra
04-23-2006, 02:18 PM
I rather my husband be here than Msn and Yahoo. Atleast any innapropriate posts can be deleted here. My husband loves that I found this site.
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BlissfullyJaded
04-23-2006, 08:15 PM
:sl:

format_quote Originally Posted by Lina
:sl:

You're married and post on forums;

Does your husband/wife mind; you 'talking' to sisters/brothers?
Just me, or was this question directed at married couple? Or was it really supposed to be hypothetical.. :?

I don't get how being on forums should be different for married members then for unmarried people. If its not good enough to be on forums after marriage, why are you here now?

And no I'm not saying be on all day after marriage. But then, even before marriage you should be spending less time on the internet... (Not like I should talk... :X )

LOL @ brother Z. :p
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Protected_Diamond
04-23-2006, 08:27 PM
:sl:

I wouldn't use the foum much if i was married, too many responsibilities :)

:w:
Reply

Helena
04-23-2006, 08:29 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Lina
:sl:

You're married and post on forums;

Does your husband/wife mind; you 'talking' to sisters/brothers?

because let's face it, this forum is more 'chit chat' then actually 'discussing' topics.

:w:
:sl:

it depends wot ur intentions are....most of us are here to expand our knowledge on islam and help others at the same time......to knw ppl frm diff background/race/ethnic...same gender.....most of us here are brothers and sisters......its not a chit chat forum.......

if my future husband was online,,i wudnt mind...coz he will helping others out and not searching for a partner.....faith and belief dats all matters......need to have trust......

ur niyats counts.....if u are here for wrong reason....den u'll knw the consequences will be......

:w:
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Lina
04-24-2006, 03:03 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Labibah
:sl:


Just me, or was this question directed at married couple? Or was it really supposed to be hypothetical.. :?

I don't get how being on forums should be different for married members then for unmarried people. If its not good enough to be on forums after marriage, why are you here now?

And no I'm not saying be on all day after marriage. But then, even before marriage you should be spending less time on the internet... (Not like I should talk... :X )

LOL @ brother Z. :p
:sl:

When your married your husband/wife might see fitnah in forums and you don't;
the difference of opinion.

The question is whether you gaining knowledge or indulge in useless 'chat'. If your husband/wife has a reason for you not be on forums then you won't be on forums (mainly the reason would be shaitaan, and his temptation, eventhough you don't see anything wrong with it, it can lead to something wrong and we should keep away from it Wa Allah ou A'lam)
It's the soft speech and 'jokes' some brothers and sisters use to reply to oneanother. Just aks yourself this question: would i say this in real life to a brother (non mahram)? NO, because in real life you would not even talk to a brother Subhan'Allah, what's the difference between internet and real life? Not much when it comes to speech.
If you're looking for information on islam or any particular subject you can be helped by all kinds of searchengines (e.g google)

I'm not saying there's great fitnah going on, no not all (3awed Wa Allah ou A'lam), i'm just implying on the way brothers and sisters reply to oneanother.
As you go along, you get pulled into it and sometimes you end up in those nonsense threads, which can be funny, but not beneficial at all and it could be just me who sees something a bit wrong, or i'm a bit paranoid? Am i?

I apoligize if i've offended anyone, it's just my point of view.




format_quote Originally Posted by helena
:sl:

it depends wot ur intentions are....most of us are here to expand our knowledge on islam and help others at the same time......to knw ppl frm diff background/race/ethnic...same gender.....most of us here are brothers and sisters......its not a chit chat forum.......

if my future husband was online,,i wudnt mind...coz he will helping others out and not searching for a partner.....faith and belief dats all matters......need to have trust......

ur niyats counts.....if u are here for wrong reason....den u'll knw the consequences will be......

:w:
Maybe it's not why this forum was created but to be realistic a lot of topics end up with nonsense but not all of them Alhamdulilah.

I think those sections as; 'Halal fun', 'general chat' should be gone with the wind, because those are the 'ones' that contain almost nothing (exept for a few Alhamdulilah) beneficial.
Or there could be some rule that you get something like a credit you can use and you have to 'pay' back by posting something beneficial in the beneficial sections.

When you look at general chat: 12,301 posts and growing
Halal fun: 34,628 posts!
Basics of Islam: 22,074, and that's mainly because of the amount of threads that only contain a few posts and much more threads.

Also;

Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him) was asked: What is the ruling on correspondence between young men and women, if this correspondence is free from immorality and love?

He replied:


It is not permissible for any man to correspond with a woman who is not his mahram, because of the fitnah (temptation) involved in that. A person may think that there is no fitnah, but the Shaytaan will keep trying until he tempts him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded those who heard of the Dajjaal to keep away from him, and said that a man may approach him as a believer, but the Dajjaal will keep trying until he leads him astray.


Correspondence between young men and women involves a great deal of fitnah and danger, so we must avoid it, even though the questioner says that this correspondence is free from immorality and love.


From Fataawa al-Mar’ah, compiled by Muhammad al-Musnad, p. 96.

He is the most Merciful who have created us, and know how to protect us, thus when He asks us to avoid somethings it is certainly for our own good.


May Allah forgive us all


I'm just saying

:w:
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Daffodil
04-26-2006, 08:26 PM
Lina the fatwa u posted isnt relavant because its not talking about islamic forums but is talking about just general mingling.

My husband doesnt mind at all about me going on forums because he knows that im not here to idle talk with brothers but rather to discuss islamic issues and give dawah/naseeha where its due.

My husband also comes on this forum so its not like he cant see my posts or i cant see his, infact hes the one that encouraged me to find a gud forum.

We dnt have a tv in the house, no kids, nothing, so when hes at work or at masjid or at other islam activities etc what else can i do other then twiddle my thumbs/read/n do some dhikr. Its not like all i do is be online, we both have lives outside of the forum.

The internet is just a tool, it can be used for gud or bad, if u have fear of Allah swt u know that hes always watching, so therefore u dnt even think about chatting with the oposite gender.

If u dnt have a practicing god fearing partner then yep perhaps u ought to be a bit cautious, but u need to trust eachother other wise ur going to let shaitan get the best of u, we shud only be suspicious if there is something to be suspicious about like if they closed the screen as soon as u came into the room or covered it or turned the monitor away or something daft like that. Altho i do switch the screen off when im in the sisters section as its a sisters section for a reason, n my husband is fine with that and commends me for keeping the trust of my sisters in Islam.

We also have eachothers passwords etc so its not like we have anything to hide from eachother. u just need to learn to trust ur partner.
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extinction
04-26-2006, 08:32 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by cheese
:sl:

mate no offense lol but thats just SLOW... come on man his post was dripping with sarcasm..

there isnt anything wrong with this forum... if you dont want your wife to go on it and are willing to stop using it yourself.. then what are you going here in the first place?

:w:
because as of now I am single and plan to be for the next 7 years(inshallah) so why stop now for something that may/or may not happen in 7 years
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extinction
04-26-2006, 08:37 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Z
Salaam.

So you would allow her to use the Internet, but not visit boards and forums such as Islamic ones? Or is that all boards and forums?
you see my fear isnt her visiting boards or accidentally spreading the word of Islam but its of her talking to guys regardless of it being a islamic forum or not it happens.. and like someone said water is wet sky is blue women have secrets...
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Lina
05-03-2006, 04:31 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Daffodil
Lina the fatwa u posted isnt relavant because its not talking about islamic forums but is talking about just general mingling.
:sl:

Actually, it was an answer concerning online chat between men and women,
so it's relevant Alhamdullilah.

Is it really SIN to talk to a brother in writing ??.

Answer :

Praise be to Allaah.

There is nothing wrong with a Muslim woman making use of the internet and entering the Paltalk website for that purpose, so long as that does not lead to anything that is forbidden in Islam, such as talking privately with men. That is because talking to men may turn into chat which usually leads temptation. Hence it is essential to be strict and avoid that, seeking the pleasure of Allaah and fearing His punishment.

How often have these conversations lead to bad results, and even caused people to fall in love, and have led some to do things that are even more serious than that. The Shaytaan makes each of them imagine attractive qualities in other, which leads them to develop an attachment that detrimental to their spiritual welfare and worldly affairs.

Sharee’ah blocks all the ways that may lead to fitnah (temptation, trial), hence it forbids softness of speech and does not allow a man to be alone with a non-mahram woman. Undoubtedly these private chats are not regarded as khulwah in the sense that he people involved cannot see one another, but they are one of the greatest causes of fitnah as is well known.

What has happened to you is the best testimonial to the truth of what we are saying, because it is difficult for a man to ask these personal questions of a believing woman, unless he uses these means that are being used in a bad way.

Fear Allaah, and do not speak to non-mahram men. This is safer for your religious commitment and purer for your heart. You should note that marriage to a righteous man is a blessing from Allaah, and a blessing cannot be acquired by means of sin.

Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allaah preserve him) was asked: What is the ruling on correspondence between young men and women, if this correspondence is free from immorality and love?

He replied:

It is not permissible for any man to correspond with a woman who is not his mahram, because of the fitnah (temptation) involved in that. A person may think that there is no fitnah, but the Shaytaan will keep trying until he tempts him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded those who heard of the Dajjaal to keep away from him, and said that a man may approach him as a believer, but the Dajjaal will keep trying until he leads him astray.

Correspondence between young men and women involves a great deal of fitnah and danger, so we must avoid it, even though the questioner says that this correspondence is free from immorality and love.

From Fataawa al-Mar’ah, compiled by Muhammad al-Musnad, p. 96.

Undoubtedly correspondence via chat rooms is more dangerous than correspondence by mail, but both are bad.

And Allaah knows best.



http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&QR=34841

:w:
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syilla
05-03-2006, 04:59 PM
wa... good one...

anyway for the answers...

my husband is sitting right behind of me and i think it does not bother him that i'm in this forum 'discussing' (but i've yet to ask him about his opinion in this matter :sister: :statisfie )
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