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hidaayah
04-27-2006, 01:55 AM
when things are beyond ur control...
here's a recipe to make life easier and happier!


do you want to be permanently miserable? All u need to do is :
a)Decide, how u think the world SHOULD be
b)Make rules for how everyone SHOULD behave. Then when the world doesn't obey your rules, get angry! Thats what miserable people do!

lets say you expect that
- friends SHOULD return favors
-people SHOULD appreciate you
-planes SHOULD arrive on time
- everyone SHOULD be honest

these expectations may sound reasonable. but often these expectations aren't likely to happen! so you end up frustrated and disapointed.
there's a better strategy--make fewer demands and more preferences. For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself," i would PREFER A,BUT IF 'B' HAPPENS, IT'S OK TOO! This is really a game that you play in your head. it is a shift in attitude, and it gives you more peace of mind.
you prefer that people be polite, but when they are rude, it doesnt ruin your day. you prefer sunshines but rain is ok!
of coarse its easier to change our thinking!
In a nutshell, its not what happens to you that determines your happiness, but rather about how you think about what happens.

In islamic terms, this is called believing in Qadar.Qadar and Qada both deal with predestination, the good and the bad therein.it is Allah's divine measure of things. As faithful muslims we must plan and act meticulously, but if things do not turn out to be in our favor, we should accept them as a part of Allah's wise plan. we must know and believe in our hearts that whatever hapens is in our own interest, because Allah knows what lies at the end of the tunnel-we do not.
we may be asking for something that appears beneficial but in actuality it could prove harmful. so when we do not get what we want, rather than sulking an holding grudges, we should re-energize ourselves and march forward to accomplish other things instead.
So, remember, the next time your plan blows up in your face, instead of cursing and throwing fits, take a deep breath an say:" Qadar Allah!"
surely, Allah knows best and means an plans THE BEST for us!!
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