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jameelash
05-18-2006, 02:09 PM
salam-enjoy urself

English is really crazy
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?

Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.:rollseyes
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IceQueen~
05-18-2006, 02:12 PM
yeah have you heard the joke about this lecturer talking about dif. languages.
at the end they said that in conclusion however in no language do two negatives make a positive..
from the back of the hall came a reply ''yeah right''
LOL!
Reply

Khaldun
05-18-2006, 02:17 PM
:sl:

That was a very nice read jazzakAllah Khair, and sis marge1 i think I understood yours aswell lol
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lolwatever
05-19-2006, 09:46 AM
HAHAHAHAHA
I GOTTTAAA SHOW THIS TO MY ENGLISH TEAHCERR
lollllll
its sooo cool hehe

hehe great read jameela
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Z
05-19-2006, 05:36 PM
Salaam.

Umm actually, you'll find the stuff you've posted is outright stupid. You ought to try understand the origins of the words first, then maybe you'll see sense.

But yeah, no body expects it.
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Najiullah
05-19-2006, 07:17 PM
hahah very nice :;D
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babagrr
05-20-2006, 01:10 PM
sallaam

Very nice post:
_ Object = Humour, just for those who didn't get it.
Anyway, did you take it from Excerpts from "Crazy English" by Richard Lederer (Pocket Books 1989)?

Cause I've got some extracts of that book on my pc.
I had this file since 1991 or 1992.
****
Begin Quote:
****
In the crazy English language, the blackbird hen is brown,
blackboards can be blue or green, and blackberries are green and then
red before they are ripe. Even if blackberries were really black and
blueberries really blue, what are strawberries, cranberries, elderberries,
huckleberries, raspberries, boysenberries, and gooseberries supposed to
look like?
****
End of quote
****
Sallaams and take care.
Reply

muzna
05-20-2006, 01:20 PM
Originally Posted by marge1
yeah have you heard the joke about this lecturer talking about dif. languages.
at the end they said that in conclusion however in no language do two negatives make a positive..
from the back of the hall came a reply ''yeah right''
LOL!
yeah..i've read this before..really funny..
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Kittygyal
05-20-2006, 01:23 PM
salam.
ta for that :)
w.salam
Reply

Malaikah
06-01-2006, 04:58 AM
Originally Posted by marge1
yeah have you heard the joke about this lecturer talking about dif. languages.
at the end they said that in conclusion however in no language do two negatives make a positive..
from the back of the hall came a reply ''yeah right''
LOL!
:sl:

LOL!! thats funny- but isnt that the opposite? thats +'s making a negative

anyway i would have said some ppl call maths a language, and - x - = + :rollseyes :D
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Woodrow
06-01-2006, 05:19 AM
The strangest thing about the English language, is we understand it. LOL

Looking at it, English is really a mixture of many languages and sometimes to make it workable, grammar rules are applied that make no sense in the language of the original words. Our American English is very strongly flavored with words from the Native Americans however usually with a French or Spanish pronunciation attached to them.

It is good that we can all find humor in ourselves.
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aina sofea
06-09-2006, 03:50 PM
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is
no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither
apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't
invented in England nor French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which
aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted.
But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand
can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea
pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't
fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of
booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose,
2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but
not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a
vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian
eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should
be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what language do people:

Recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in
which you fill in a form by filling it out and in
which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and
it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of
course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the
stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights
are out, they are invisible.

PS: Why doesn't "buick" rhyme with "quick"?
Reply

Kidman
06-09-2006, 03:55 PM
LOL... nice post
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
10-11-2007, 02:58 PM
really interesting !

English is really crazy

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?

Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.
Reply

Kittygyal
10-11-2007, 03:03 PM
:sl:

;D

Me sitting right here with soo many people doing there own work at a huge building then read this post.. didn't bother reading it all as it was abit tounge twisting at first along with a bad migrane i have so i went back to read it again and guess what??!!, this certainly did make me crack up.. Subhan'Allaah... that was cheesy but very neat.

I needed this, but i also wouldn't mind having a cuppa and laid back on chair reading this post over and over again, there comes the big boss.. shoot better get back... :X

Ma'assalama
Reply

*~Sofia~*
10-11-2007, 03:04 PM
:lol: that was realllly good bro... was laffin and grinning thruout the whole thing! Iv'e never really thought bout most of the things u just mentioned...when i read it, i was like... 'ohhhh yehhh.. duh!'
English is a wierd lingo aint it?!
Anyway a very interesting post brother :coolious: Jazakhallah for sharin :D

w'salam
Reply

tomtomsmom
10-11-2007, 03:05 PM
Lol!
Reply

Ad-dhuha
10-11-2007, 03:08 PM
haha read it b4 :smile:

but intrestin 2 read agen:D

yup! english is just plain crazy!

fnx 4 da laff
Reply

Pk_#2
10-11-2007, 03:10 PM
:D:coolious: good.
Reply

chacha_jalebi
10-11-2007, 03:14 PM
see thats why many of us decide to use slang :p so we can help the english language :D

we only wish to improve it and we only wish for the best :embarrass :p
Reply

Anwarica
10-11-2007, 04:29 PM
:sl:
Reminds me with this topic :D

Why English is so hard to learn

English is easy. Yea, right!
Reasons why English is so hard to learn.

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
You park in the driveway but you drive on the parkway. You ship by truck
and send cargo by ship. How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

What about the fact that an alarm goes off by going on. When the stars are out, they
are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

And finally, how about when you want to shut down your computer you have to
hit "START!!
Reply

Kittygyal
10-11-2007, 04:32 PM
^ Im kinda slow but when do you hit 'START' to shut down computer? :phew
Reply

Anwarica
10-11-2007, 04:35 PM
Originally Posted by Kittygyal
^ Im kinda slow but when do you hit 'START' to shut down computer? :phew
Well, I barely shut down my computer, but as far as I remember one of the solutions is to hit start > turn off/shut down. :D
Reply

Kittygyal
10-11-2007, 04:39 PM
Originally Posted by Anwarica
Well, I barely shut down my computer, but as far as I remember one of the solutions is to hit start > turn off/shut down. :D
:sl:

Ah, this is not my PC but in a huge building pc which i've been sat in this seat since morning 6:30 :uhwhat

Anywho i gotcha.. i know what ya mean thats like my home PC but this PC all you have to do is press 'Log off' on main screen none of that 'start' thing.

Do shut down computer because it will heat up a lot and might BLAST! :X hence ''save electric bill'

Ma'assalama
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Anwarica
10-11-2007, 05:33 PM
:sl:
Originally Posted by Kittygyal
Do shut down computer because it will heat up a lot and might BLAST! :X hence ''save electric bill'
I only leave it for about 4 hours of my sleep and it's online 24hours/day to download and upload my work. :)
Thus, in this case turning a pc on and off is the worst option since electricity consumption is 4:6 folds and you put the hard disk and the operation system to a serious damage .. I dedicated air conditioner for heat treatment, the next enemy is dust, but that's easy to take care of. :D
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Haidar_Abbas
10-11-2007, 05:50 PM
:sl: :D :giggling: :giggling: :giggling: crazy is just the begining :sl:
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