format_quote Originally Posted by
searchingsoul
What does Islam believe about respecting your parents if they did little to earn your respect?
My parents are both getting old and I do spend a lot of time taking them to doctors and running errands for them. They would like for me to live with them so I'd be available to them all the time. The problem is they were not the best parents when I was a child and it is difficult for me to be civil with them for lengthy periods.
I know we are supposed to forgive people. I try to forgive them but sometimes I cant avoid having negative thoughts about them. It actually makes me depressed to be around them too much. If I am just around them for short periods of time I am able to be avoid arguments.
Any advice?
That's a toughie!
It sounds to me like you are still working through stuff. And perhaps moving in with your parents, when you still feel so much resentment, would only increase your bitterness!
Can you talk to them about your childhood, and work through the past?
As your parents get older it may become harder and harder to do so, so perhaps
now is the best time?
I am in my thirties, too.
I had difficulties in my childhood, especially with my stepfather.
Having children myself has made me realise just how hard being a parent can be, and it has softened my view of my parents somewhat.
I worked very hard at forgiving my stepfather, and it was a difficult process.
I started by
asking him to forgive me for the mistakes I had made, and I thanked him
for all the good things he provided me with.
But I also learned to stand up for myself and assert
my rights as a stepdaughter!
I have learned to respect him as he is - he is not perfect, and never will be - but he is not all bad either. Just another human being, really :rollseyes
I hope this helps somehow ... sorry if I'm garbling on ... :rollseyes
Blessings. :)