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Z
08-10-2005, 05:52 PM
Asalamu Alaikum

Tommy, he's funny. Sometimes he blasts Quraan recitation from his house, and sometimes you hear the weirdest sounds of music coming. I realised, the days he has music on is when it's sunny and nice. When it's dark and gloomy, the Quraan be's on blast.

Cool huh.
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minaz
08-10-2005, 07:00 PM
lol you've lost me but i kinda understand what you mean, what kind of music does he play?
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Uthman
08-10-2005, 07:54 PM
:sl:

format_quote Originally Posted by 350z
Cool huh
Not so much cool, as scary.

Surah Ahzab verse 4

مَّا جَعَلَ اللَّهُ لِرَجُلٍ مِّن قَلْبَيْنِ فِي جَوْفِهِ

"Allah has not made for any man, two hearts in his body"

As Ibn Umar rightly puts it when he comments on this verse, how can someone who's heart is full of Qur'an be full of music at the same time? A single heart cannot contain the words of Allah and the voice of Satan. Nay, it must be one.

:w:

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Muezzin
08-10-2005, 07:57 PM
:sl:

Maybe there's two different guys in the room, like flatmates, and they fight over what's blaring out into the street.

:w:
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Z
08-10-2005, 08:16 PM
Asalamu Alaikum

Wow, this is amazing! Osman, looks like you've grown out of your old ways. Masha Allah! So like did this change come by you, or is there someones efforts behind all this? I want to know.

What kind of music? I'm not going to say or else I'll be accused of listening to music and paying attention to it. Sorry minaz.

Tommy lives with his wife and 2 kids. He's odd. Never seen him with anyone, he's got no friends.
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Muezzin
08-10-2005, 08:19 PM
:sl:

Is Tommy in fact Muslim?

:w:
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SalafiFemaleJih
08-10-2005, 08:19 PM
he sounds like my old me.....

may Allah swt forgive my past sins Ameen.

wasalamuaalikum wr wb.
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Muezzin
08-10-2005, 08:20 PM
:sl:

Your old you?

Eh? :confused:

:w:
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Z
08-10-2005, 08:23 PM
Asalamu Alaikum

Tommy is Muslim. He sometimes remembers he's Muslim and gets changed into somthing more modest. Good on him.

There's no need to confess Salafi sister, and insha Allah may Allah forgive you.
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- Qatada -
08-10-2005, 08:23 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by 350z
Asalamu Alaikum

Wow, this is amazing! Osman, looks like you've grown out of your old ways. Masha Allah! So like did this change come by you, or is there someones efforts behind all this? I want to know.

What kind of music? I'm not going to say or else I'll be accused of listening to music and paying attention to it. Sorry minaz.

Tommy lives with his wife and 2 kids. He's odd. Never seen him with anyone, he's got no friends.
Asalam o alikum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.

bro y dont u get 2 know the guy and talk to him. if hez got no mates u can talk to him and then sooner or later talk about Islam. he'll be well happy that hes got a mate now and at the same time u can put thoughts in his head (about Islam.) which will make him think, he'll get social experience and at the same time you'll get the reward insh Allah of teaching him more about it.. and also pray to Allah (swt) that he does get guided onto the right path insh Allah.

wasalam o alikum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.
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Z
08-10-2005, 08:30 PM
Asalamu Alaikum

Well, that is a really good idea Aqib, thank you.

The only problem I would say is that he seems determined not to get involved. A few of the local brothers tried getting him to come to the mosque and pray, but he insists on praying at home. His wife needs him there, though she's hardly ever in, always out.

And one other thing. He says that intentions are what matter. We should judge people on their intentions, not actions. Well obviously he's pure from inside, so it wouldn't matter on the outside too much.
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Uthman
08-10-2005, 08:45 PM
:sl:

format_quote Originally Posted by 350z
Wow, this is amazing! Osman, looks like you've grown out of your old ways. Masha Allah! So like did this change come by you, or is there someones efforts behind all this? I want to know.
And what exactly are my old ways? Nah, I'm pretty much the same old me. :) I never was the deadly, weird, immature kid you thought I was. :)

:w:

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SalafiFemaleJih
08-10-2005, 08:53 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muezzin
:sl:

Your old you?

Eh? :confused:

:w:
scary innit :P

long story hehe.

waslamaualaikum wr wb.
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- Qatada -
08-10-2005, 08:59 PM
walaikum asalam warahmatulahi wabarakatuh..

buh bro maybe iss cz da boiz forced him to go.. why don't you try to get to know him 1st and gain trust in him.. then gradually with time u can or even he will open upto the religious matters. with people like that they dont feel secure and at some moments they might feel happy and hence listen to the songs for enjoyment, but wen they feel depressed (as u mentioned when its grey and rainin) they might focus on islam. in islam intentions matter but the actual action is even better, obviously if he says he will go the masjid and he doesn't then he wont get the reward for it because at the back of his mind he knew he wouldnt go.

why not at the beginning talk to him every now and then cz ppl feel too insecure at the beginning and gradually keep building up his trust and because he never had no matez he will want you to visit more and more. then gradually in your worldy talk slip in things about islam, somethings which are positive and will make him think. after that insh Allah he will get interested and ask u questions which he wasnt sure of in the 1st place. then later on insh Allah wen he gets deeper into it ask him to get 1 fact a day of islam that he never knew and u would aswell and you could discuss it the next day. this will gradually gain his trust insh Allah and will make him more confident towards islam.

insh Allah once he gets confident in islam you two will be good close mates and at 1st he wont be confident to go to the masjid but if u go with him and acompany him he will feel a sense of security.. dont let anyone put him down cz that will make him lose alot of confidence, even if it does happen try to support him and remind him that Allah (swt) is on our side to protect us.. just remember to keep praying for him cz without Allah (swt)'s help we cant acomplish nothin..

people like this are shy and insecure at 1st but they can make a big difference, and the best way is to open them up and cz we muslim we have the greatest help of Allah (swt) and because you hav a gud intention insh Allah u will get rewarded for it.. remember "Actions are but by intentions and every man will have only what he intended..."

(full hadith: Actions are but by intentions and every man will have only what he intended. So whoever emigrated for Allah and His Messenger, then his emigration was for Allah and His Messenger. And whoever emigrated to attain something of this world or to marry a woman, then his emigration was for whatever reason he emigrated." [Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim])

wasalam o alikum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.
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Z
08-10-2005, 09:22 PM
Asalamu Alaikum

Seriously Osman, no more nonsense posts huh? Cool.
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Uthman
08-10-2005, 10:07 PM
:sl:

I always think before I write.

Sheikh Ameer-ul-mumineen Maulana Mufti Imaam Abdul rahimullah. :)

:w:

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Far7an
08-10-2005, 10:10 PM
Assalamu alaikum

Maybe we should pray that Allah guides tommy, and us. Talking about him and others like him wont do anyone any good. :brother:
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Z
08-10-2005, 10:27 PM
Asalamu Alaikum

Yes, you are right. May Allah guide Tommy, and us all.
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Uthman
08-11-2005, 09:33 AM
:sl:

format_quote Originally Posted by zAk
rahimullah ?

:zip:

:w:
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Danish
08-11-2005, 11:10 AM
:sl:
Nay, it must be one.
okay Mr. Osman Shake-pear

i agree with Aqib, try harder to chat with the dude,ask y he turns away from quran sometimes...maybe he is in mood of some singing, then tell him to listen to some nasheeds and ensure he knows music is haram

invite him to the day out to snooker or bowling game or somewhere fun, with other muslim buddies
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Uthman
08-11-2005, 09:22 PM
:sl:

:)

:w:

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nurah19
08-11-2005, 09:44 PM
what is wrong with u people
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Muezzin
08-14-2005, 04:18 PM
I agree that we should pray for Tommy to be guided to the Straight Path.

format_quote Originally Posted by nurah19
what is wrong with u people
That, sister, is the single funniest thing I've read on this forum :D
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Ameeratul Layl
09-16-2005, 11:55 AM
:sl:

Im so depressed. :-[ :-[ :-[ :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(


:wilted_ro
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sadia
09-16-2005, 12:01 PM
wanna share what your depressed about sis? inshallah i can help to get you un-depressed?
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Far7an
09-16-2005, 12:04 PM
Wa alaikum asalaam

May I ask why? Is it because you are feeling lonely?

In any case please remember, Allah loves you and he is always there for you..

“It was We Who created man, and We know what dark suggestions his soul makes to him: for We are nearer to him than his jugular vein.” Surah Qaf Ayah 16


"And He is the Forgiving and Loving" Surah Al Barooj ayah 14


"Say, if you love Allah, obey me (Muhammad), Allah will love you and forgive you your sins, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful" (Surah ale Imran aya 31


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Pinkrose
09-16-2005, 12:06 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Raiyhana
:sl:

Im so depressed. :-[ :-[ :-[ :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(


:wilted_ro
:sl:

Aww Ukhti i know how you feel!! :'( I been like that latley but don't wanna talk about it!!

May i ask whats the matter!!? :wilted_ro

:w:
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Ameeratul Layl
09-16-2005, 12:12 PM
:sl:

I...cant tell u...ur probably going to think I'm a nut case. But. well feel the same. so lets cheer each other up. U first ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Ameeratul Layl
09-16-2005, 12:22 PM
:sl:
I want 2 go 2 saudi 2 live 4eva. Cant go. Hate every1 fi hadha balad.

m3 salaam
Raiyhana

keep talking if u've got time.
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*angel*
09-16-2005, 12:29 PM
salaam
may i ask y u r depressed sister??if the reason is u want to go saudi n u cant then u never knw Alaah (swt) ha planned sumin better 4 u everythin god does is right
wasalaam
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Ameeratul Layl
09-16-2005, 12:34 PM
:sl:

No!No.....I it doesnt matter.
I hate today, I'll probably enjoy 2morrow. :-[ :-[

Thank you for being so kind and writing to me. :love:

m3 salaam
Raiyhana
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someone
09-16-2005, 12:34 PM
Assalaamu Alaykum

*gives a sisterly hug*

Think of all the favours Allah has blessed you with ..cheer up.

Read optional Salaah, make Dua, do dhikr...that outta make you feel better.

And we're all ears if you need to talk.
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libyanhero
09-16-2005, 12:45 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Raiyhana
:sl:

I...cant tell u...ur probably going to think I'm a nut case. But. well feel the same. so lets cheer each other up. U first ;D ;D ;D ;D
To me thats heartbreaking just know that your not the only one that goes through these hard depressed times there is millions if not billions, remember the prophet (SAWS) said: "You will not believe until you love for your brothers/sisters what you love for yourself." Lately elhamdulillah I been working it out and I realized there is nothing more powerful than prayers and reading the quran, busying your mind the beauty of Allah which there is no beauty without he. What surrounds us in this world is sadening and it gets to every one of us that will be tested, trialed with hardships and the fitnah, temptations, the hurtful words you may hear from others, the criticizm and ofcourse the peer pressure. I had a hard, heartbreaking experience I shouldnt have been there in the first place but wasn't thinking at the time so I been depressed not completely over with it but without the quran and Allah I would never have been where I am now Subhannallah. It's so sadening to see our poor, needy brothers/sisters not being helped ya haram look it the people in Palestine, in Afghanistan, in Iraq, In Africa all in tougher times than we are they dont get education, nor good food to eat etc...


One thing you should always remember is not to look up but down the unfortunate, the one lower the you who has nothing and there struggling worse.

Thank Allah for living in a country with peace and you have what to eat, you have your family,friends who love you but your obeying Allah and refraining from the pressures out there which is better than being stuck with no-one to care. Allah is always there watching over you, don't you see how Allah loves his slaves

I will tell you one thing I heard from a shiekh, if life was smooth you wouldnt even care for the next thats why Allah put on us hardships to test and trial us and see who is the pious of us and to make us go back to our roots when we are lost and to always remember the next life coming. I feel your pain sister and what can we do in such a world with fitnah all around us, dirty thoughts, satanic whispers etc... Share it sister, tell us whats bothering you, let it out, let us help and know your not alone we all been bitten.
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Ameeratul Layl
09-16-2005, 12:54 PM
:sl:

JazakAllah brother. Infact, I'm listening to shiekh Shuraim and I have calmed down a little bit. But...when you have akaroke on...its not the best combination.

I'm at college and there is a PATHETIC :mad: party going on. Its annoying beacuse the ppl are LIKE animals. :mad: :mad: May Allah forgive me.

Okay, I think I'll calm down. Audhu Billah.

Raiyhana :wilted_ro
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S_87
09-16-2005, 01:07 PM
:sl:

awwwwww hope all goes well sis *hugs*
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Ameeratul Layl
09-16-2005, 01:09 PM
:sl:
JazakAllah sister. May Allah Bless you.

:wilted_ro
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ABDULLAH SAOOD
09-16-2005, 01:19 PM
Assalamo-alaikum-warahmatullahi-wabrakatu

Sorry to hear you are depressed Sis...........a big Shaykh in Medina once told me that if you are ever depressed read the tafseer of the quran.........inshallah, inshallah you will no longer be depressed.

Abdullah
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Ibn Abi Ahmed
09-16-2005, 01:21 PM
:sl:

The recitation and listening to the Quran is the best way out of deppression sister.
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libyanhero
09-16-2005, 01:23 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Raiyhana
:sl:

JazakAllah brother. Infact, I'm listening to shiekh Shuraim and I have calmed down a little bit. But...when you have akaroke on...its not the best combination.

I'm at college and there is a PATHETIC :mad: party going on. Its annoying beacuse the ppl are LIKE animals. :mad: :mad: May Allah forgive me.

Okay, I think I'll calm down. Audhu Billah.

Raiyhana :wilted_ro
:) Elhamdulillah, wish you good luck. Ramadan is coming soon in what 2 and a half-3 weeks anyways this month is an opportunity for every one us to use wisely, and not waste a minute of it, in vain talk or useless thoughts, this is the month of victory to all muslims if we all muslims do the five pillars we would have been raised in this world but I can say that we muslims have dissapointed Allah, even though Allah still has mercy upon us we are faced with much trials and tests to make us reflect, think and go back to our roots, when ever shall we learn. Its sad and I even tell this to myself because i am not the best and we are all sinners yet we dont repent for all the years the past.
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Hijaabi22
09-16-2005, 01:38 PM
Y U depressed sis??? Probably jus 1 of them days eh sis? Dont worry, evry1 has em!!! Hope U feel betta soon inshaAllah!
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Ameeratul Layl
09-16-2005, 01:43 PM
:sl:

I wuv u sis. jAzakAllah.
Feel better alraedy. Every1 has been so nyc 2 me on the forum.

May Allah reward you ALL.

Allah ma3ak
Raiyhana
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Ameeratul Layl
09-16-2005, 01:54 PM
:sl:

When I wrote than I was 'depressed'. So many of you wrote back to me...trying to cheer me up, allowing me to feel free to talk to you and giving me advise.
I just hope that Allah rewards you all beacuse you are all very caring people. I pray Allah makes ME stronger to do the same.

Wallah! If anyone needs to let out their depressed feelings. I'm here (as a sister) to listen. :)

May Allah Bless you all.

m3 salaam
Allah Ma3ak
Raiyhana :wilted_ro
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Pinkrose
09-16-2005, 01:57 PM
:sl:

Ameen Ukhti!! :sister:

U feeling a lil' better now right!!? :)

:w:
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Ameeratul Layl
09-16-2005, 01:59 PM
:sl:

Yes thank you.

Luv u sis. May Allah reward you Jannah.Ameen :D

Raiyhana
:wilted_ro
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Pinkrose
09-16-2005, 02:00 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Raiyhana
:sl:

Yes thank you.

Luv u sis. May Allah reward you Jannah.Ameen :D

Raiyhana
:wilted_ro
:sl:

Aww sis!! Love ya too!! :love:

May Allah reward you with the same!! Ameen!! :)

:w: :wilted_ro
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Far7an
09-16-2005, 02:05 PM
:sl:

Threads merged.
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Muhammad
09-16-2005, 04:13 PM
:sl:

Question :


A person is affected by a stressful situation to the point that it is affecting their physical and mental health. In addition to making the correct dua'a for anxiety and stress, is it permissible to seek the professional help of a Muslim psychiatrist/psychologist if one feels they may be having some type of mental difficulties in handling their situation? If permissable, would it be necessary to confirm that the doctor himself/herself is following the correct aqeedah?Would it also be permissable to take anti-depressants or mood controlling medication if prescribed in order to better handle one's stress levels.

Answer :

Praise be to Allaah.



There is nothing wrong with treating the diseases that befall a person, and this is not forbidden. But that is subject to the condition that the treatment does not cause side effects which are worse than the problem itself.

We advise the one who is sick – whether that is spiritual (mental) illness such as anxiety and depression, or physical illness such as various kinds of pain – to hasten first of all to treat the problem with ruqyah as prescribed in sharee’ah. This means verses and ahaadeeth which are recommended in sharee’ah and in which the texts state there is healing for diseases.

Then we advise treating it with natural materials which Allaah has created, such as honey and plants, for Allaah has created special properties in them which may treat many kinds of diseases, and at the same time they do not have any side effects on the one who takes them.

We think that you should not take artificial chemical remedies for anxiety. For this disease a person needs a spiritual remedy rather than a chemical one.

So he needs to increase his faith and his trust in his Lord; he needs to make more du’aa’ and pray more. If he does that, his anxiety will be removed. Seeking to relax by means of doing acts of worship has a great effect on the soul, dispelling many kinds of psychological disease. Hence we do not see any benefit in going to a psychologist whose beliefs are corrupt, let alone one who is a kaafir. The more the doctor knows about Allaah and His religion, the better advice he will give to his patient.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Whoever works righteousness — whether male or female — while he (or she) is a true believer (of Islamic Monotheism) verily, to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter)”

[al-Nahl 16:97]

It was narrated that Suhayb said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for all his affairs are good, and this applies to no one except the believer. If something good happens to him, he gives thanks, and that is good for him, and it something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him.”

(Narrated by Muslim, 2999)

This world should not be the main concern of the Muslim. Worry about his provision should not find any room in his heart or mind, lest that make his sickness and his anxiety worse.

It was narrated that Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever is mainly concerned about the Hereafter, Allaah will make him feel independent of others and will make him focused and content, and his worldly affairs will fall into place. But whoever is mainly concerned with this world, Allaah will make him feel in constant need of others and will make him distracted and unfocused, and he will get nothing of this world except what is decreed for him.”

(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2389; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6510).

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “When a person spends his entire day with no other concern but Allaah alone, Allaah, may He be glorified, will take care of all his needs and take care of all that is worrying him; He will empty his heart so that it will be filled only with love for Him, free his tongue so that it will speak only in remembrance of Him (dhikr) and cause all his faculties to work only in obedience to Him. But if a person spends his entire day with no other concern but this world, Allaah will make him bear its distress, anxiety and pain; He will leave him to sort himself out, and cause his heart to be distracted from the love of Allaah towards the love of some created being, cause his tongue to speak only in remembering people instead of remembering Allaah, and cause him to use his talents and energy in obeying and serving them. So he will strive hard, labouring like some work-animal, to serve something other than Allaah… Everyone who turns away from being a true slave of Allaah and obeying Him and loving Him will be burdened with servitude, love and obedience to some created being. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): ‘And whosoever turns away (blinds himself) from the remembrance of the Most Beneficent (Allaah), We appoint for him a shaytaan (devil) to be a qareen (intimate companion) to him.’ [al-Zukhruf 43:36].”

Al-Fawaa’id, p. 159

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked:

Can a believer become mentally ill? What is the treatment for that according to sharee’ah? Please note that modern medicine treats these illnesses with modern medicines only.

He replied:

Undoubtedly a person may suffer from psychological or mental diseases, such as anxiety about the future and regret for the past. Psychological diseases affect the body more than physical diseases affect it. Treating these diseases by means of the things prescribed in sharee’ah – i.e., ruqyah – is more effective than treating them with physical medicines, as is well known.

One of the means of treating them is mentioned in the saheeh hadeeth from Ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him): “There is no-one who is afflicted by distress and grief, and says: ‘Allaahumma inni ‘abduka ibn ‘abdika ibn amatija naasyati bi yadika, maada fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka. As’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghayb ‘indaka an taj’al al-Qur’aana rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’ huzni wa dhihaab hammi (O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your maidservant; my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You which You have named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the Unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety),’ but Allaah will take away his distress and grief, and replace it with joy.” This is one of the remedies prescribed in sharee’ah.

One can also say “Laa ilaaha illa Anta, subhaanaka inni kuntu min al-zaalimeen (none has the right to be worshipped but You (O Allaah), Glorified (and Exalted) be You [above all that (evil) they associate with You]! Truly, I have been of the wrongdoers)” [al-Anbiya 21:87 – interpretation of the meaning].

Whoever wants to know more than that should refer to what the scholars have written about dhikr, such as al-Waabil al-Sayyib by Ibn al-Qayyim; al-Kalim al-Tayyib by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Tayimiyah; al-Adhkaar by al-Nawawi; Zaad al-Ma’aad by Ibn al-Qayyim.

But because people’s faith is weak nowadays, they are less receptive to the remedies prescribed in sharee’ah. So people nowadays have started to rely on physical medicines more than on the remedies prescribed in sharee’ah. But when a person’s faith is strong, the remedies prescribed in sharee’ah are completely effective, and may work faster than physical medicine. We all know about the story of the man whom the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent on a campaign and he camped near some Arab people, but those people near whom he camped showed him no hospitality at all. Allaah willed that their leader should be stung by a scorpion, and they said to one another, “Go to those people who have camped nearby, perhaps you will find a raaqi (one who can recite ruqyah) with them.” The Sahaabah said to them, “We will not recite ruqyah for your leader unless you give us such and such a number of sheep.” They said, “Fine.” So one of the Sahaabah went and recited ruqyah for the one who had been stung. He recited Soorat al-Faatihah only, and the one who had been stung got up as if released from a chain.

Reciting al-Faatihah had such an effect on this man because it came from a heart that was filled with faith. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked him, “How did you come to know that it (Soorat al-Faatihah) could be recited as a ruqyah?”

But in these times when religious commitment and faith have become weak, people have started to rely on external physical medicines, and they are suffering as a result.

But on the other hand there are charlatans who play with people’s minds; they are clever and able to trick people, claiming that they are good reciters of ruqyah when in fact they are consuming people’s wealth unlawfully. So people are caught between two extremes; one extreme is those who think that ruqyah has no effect at all, and the other is those tricksters who play with people’s minds by reciting false and deceitful readings. And there are some who are moderate in their approach to this issue.

Fataawa Islamiyyah, 4/465, 466

We ask Allaah to protect us and you from the evils of anxiety and worry, and to open our hearts to faith, guidance and tranquility.

Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)


:w:
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Lonely_Boy
09-16-2005, 06:05 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Raiyhana
:sl:

Im so depressed. :-[ :-[ :-[ :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(


:wilted_ro
Asslam O Aleakum Sister

Well still i don't understand your depression but Alhumdulillah now u feel better .......so sister as we know that by sharing yr happiness makes the joy double and by sharing ur sorrow or depression makes half of it.......so feel free to share and Insha Allah as u already said that All members are really caring so don't hesitate and enjoy being a part of this forum as a family..........May Allah increace all of us in Iman........Remember in prayers

Jazakallah
Wassalam
Reply

Pinkrose
09-16-2005, 10:30 PM
:sl:

Ameen @ dua!!

Yeah sis!! Anytime you need us just know that we are always here to help you out and help u feel better!! Don't ever and i mean ever hesitate to talk to us about sumthin' or ask us sunthin'!! Okay!!? ;) Like you said we care!! :sister:

With lots of :love: ,
Pinkrose :rose:

:w:
Reply

Ummu Amatullah
09-18-2005, 01:54 AM
Asallama Alaikum sister yeah we all care so insh'Allah next time don't hesitate.We're all open ears ;) .Mash'Allah brother Muhammad very benefical.Most psychological diseases are cured by the Quran or anything based on the deen.That's how we attain peace of mind and heart.
In addition to making the correct dua'a for anxiety and stress, is it permissible to seek the professional help of a Muslim psychiatrist/psychologist if one feels they may be having some type of mental difficulties in handling their situation?
I don't think it would be a good idea seeing how there aren't that many good muslim psychiatrists around.

Reply

Samee
09-18-2005, 03:07 PM
Do you mind telling us why you were depressed now :)
Reply

shugriaden
09-18-2005, 03:45 PM
:sl: sister can you tell us why you are depressed. maybe we can help you through. Also we are all praying for Allah to help you out through you your depression. :sl:
Reply

Afr!can angel
10-02-2005, 09:56 AM
i think sister is abit depressed from teenage things u knw parties and ppl bragging on what dey r gonna wear and millions more.
but alhamdulilah shes bettr now! alhamdulilah:D
Reply

baby_muslimah15
10-02-2005, 04:11 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl
:sl:

JazakAllah brother. Infact, I'm listening to shiekh Shuraim and I have calmed down a little bit. But...when you have akaroke on...its not the best combination.

I'm at college and there is a PATHETIC :mad: party going on. Its annoying beacuse the ppl are LIKE animals. :mad: :mad: May Allah forgive me.

Okay, I think I'll calm down. Audhu Billah.

Raiyhana :wilted_ro
YOU go to college?????? Oh yea sorry that u feel depressed, I know what your goin through I wanted to go to Saudi but never could(many reasons!!!!) I know i'm kinda late responding ;D I think I have responded dunno :confused:
Reply

Ameeratul Layl
10-02-2005, 04:17 PM
:sl: everybody,

I just want to say that I really appreciate everyone trying to help me through my depressed moment I had a few days/weeks ago. I was just skimming through the thread and there are so many kind words....we all seem to be one family that understands each other even though we cant see each other. It was so nice that you all wrote in to say a kind word. I was really touched wen sum of u mentioned that I can share things with you at any point wen I feel depressed. Then, there were sum of u who tryed to put me towards the light and showed a few hadiths and ayahs from the Quraan.

WAllah! I really appreciate all of this. :love: And, if any of you feel depressed, I too dont mind comforting you....we'll all cry together if that makes you feel okay.

May Allah give you ALL jannah and help us ALL to remain on the Right Path, the Path Of Siratul Mustaqeem Ameen :love:

Allah Ma3akum ;)
Reply

halupalu
10-04-2005, 04:24 PM
y r u depressed?
Reply

Umm Safiya
11-18-2005, 06:27 PM
:sl:

What do I do, when I get depressed because of sisters?
I don't know that many sister, and I also like to keep have few associates, because I am really shy.. But I'm trying my best to be more outgoing when around sisters.. Eventhough I don't know some sisters really much, I still feel love for them, because they're my sisters.. So when I say I love you for the sake of Allâh, if they say thanks or jazakAllah then I'm just, 'hm, you not even gonna say it back?' eventhough it's not a big deal.. just because someone doesn't say it back, doens't mean that they dislike you.. and i should be happy when people say jazakAllâh to me, 'cause it's a good thing.. but why do I get so depressed and feel sad? its really annoying! am i just a sensitive person?
one time i said to a sister, I love you for the sake of Allâh and she said jazakallah sis.. and when she said that i honestly wanted to cry a little, 'cause she says i love you too to others.. so i really felt like i'm a nobody..
seriously, don't laugh.. i know im sooo overreacting! but, yeah.. what do i do?

:w:
Reply

........
11-18-2005, 06:44 PM
umm sis i understand ur feelings..dont be sad coz when u say to someone that u love him for the sake of allah allah loves u and give u reward of that..isn't that enough for u:)...so never hesitate to tell ur sisters that u love them for the sake of alah..maybe allah will love u just for that:)...and yea i love u sis for the sake of allah:)
Reply

Salema
11-18-2005, 06:50 PM
Yup..me Too..:loving:

I :loving: U 4 THE SAKE OF ALLAH..!
Reply

Umm Safiya
11-18-2005, 07:48 PM
:sl:

Aw, I love you too for the sake of Allâh.. :sister:
Yea ukthi imane, it is enough for me, that Allâh loves me 'cause I love others, but it's just.. I want them to love me back.. I'm like 'Everybody Loves Raymond'.. My heart can't take it, if someone doesn't like me or even hates me, unless I hate that person too.. I don't care if it's kuffar of course, but sisters.. Ush, that's just heart-breaking.. :-[ Maybe I'm a bit too sensitive! :-[ :-[

:w:
Reply

akulion
11-18-2005, 07:55 PM
i know the feeling sis...everytime i say to a sis i love u ...i get a slap...

lol

(joking - just to bring some laughter to u insha'Allah and cheer u up)
Reply

h1jabi_sista
11-18-2005, 08:02 PM
:sl:

lol bro ^^---

awww thats really sweet sis. Ive never known a sis to be quite like you! Sometimes sista just dont like to open up, but its not a big problem. U just carry on showing them you love them for the sake of allah and inshallah allah will love you!

allahu alum

:w:
Reply

libyanhero
11-18-2005, 08:03 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by akulion
i know the feeling sis...everytime i say to a sis i love u ...i get a slap...

lol

(joking - just to bring some laughter to u insha'Allah and cheer u up)
:lol: your not supposed to say to a sister I love you bro, you must be insane to go saying I love you to sisters, you can say it to ur brothers but most of us don't do that anymore cuz we see it as a gay thing these days.
Reply

akulion
11-18-2005, 08:27 PM
Dear Bro Lybian hero Salam Alaikum,

I dont go around saying I love you to sis :P lol that was a joke bro..man ur gona give me bad name loool

Dont let the non-muslims make you stop doing something that even the Prophet said to do, he said "If you love your brother then let him know that you love him"

Infact let me tell you a story from my college days (I went to college in the UK) - Note: This story may seem a little 'disgusting' to some but please dont judge, its a true story.

In college my closest friends circle was composed of: 2 egyptian brothers,and a brother from congo. Apart from them people who also used to hang out with us included, 1 bulgarian guy, 1 isreali guy, 1 american guy and 3 american girls. (The reason for the high number of americans is cos my college was an american college in uk)

Anyways me and my muslim bros used to use a 2 liter bottle of pepsi (filled with water) to do taharah (since in the UK they dont have systems to do taharah. (Taharah for those who dont know is basically washing up after u visit the toilet).

Moving on......We used to keep this bottle in one of our rooms and had it marked with a black marker - in big writing it said - "POISON - DO NOT DRINK" (since it was something we took to the toilet so it was uinclean).

Anyways the non muslims in our group often used to see us take the bottle with us to the toilet everytime we would visit the toilet. So one day the Isreali guy couldnt take it anymore and said, "What the heck do you do with that bottle man? Some weird kinky stuff?"

So we all tried to explain to them all that we used it to wash up after going to the loo. They ofcourse thought it was RIDICLOUS and LAUGHED. One thing to know about me is that I am a very out spoken person and when it comes down to explaining something to someone I will not hesitate to use the most basics and vivid descriptions to explain a thing to someone.
Their laughing was upsetting me, so I stood up and said, "Do you know the difference between us and you all?".
Taken aback they said, "what?"
I replied, "The different is that if you smell your ass right now it will stink to high hell, but if you smell mine, it wont! Go ahead try it!"
Everyone was shocked!.
I continued, "Washing after the loo is very benefical, because while all you do is smear the popo all over your buttoks with a piece of paper, we actually use water to clean everything away and then wash our hands with soap! As a result, your backsides stink cos there is still popo inside (no pun intended to Intel inside). Wheras, we are clean and less likely to develop diseases, bacteria, and other problems."

Alhamdolillah by the Mercy and Grace of Allah, my explanation had such a profound effect on those people that the Isreali guy started doing taharah regularly from that day forth, and one of the American girls eventually reverted to Islam through me Alhamdolillah.

Victory dance



So bro never stand down to these people - we have to teach them the TRUTH so they will give up their ridiclous ideas once and for all insha'Allah
Reply

- Qatada -
11-18-2005, 08:33 PM
wow masha Allaah! lol bro you've had some krazy experiencez! you know.. why dont we have a separate thread for you like one a 'akulion corner' where you can post in your experiences.. this way it wont go offtopic and you'll get a lot of people postin in too insha Allaah.

for once i can use ma 'trainee mod' powers and split this thread into a 'akulion corner'.. what do you think bro? i think its a good idea insha Allaah.


wasalam o 'alykum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.
Reply

akulion
11-18-2005, 08:38 PM
loool bro..insha'Allah you can put the thread in a new post called "Benefits of Taharah" because I dont deserve any 'glamour' to myself honestly!

As for my experiences, yes Alhamdolillah I have had so many that I can proudly say most people havent had that many. Thats probably because since a very young age I have travelled with my parents to nearly every corner of the globe. So you can imagine!

My apologies for drifting off topic..but its easy to forget sometimes.
Reply

Noor
11-18-2005, 08:52 PM
:sl:

Man, you made my day! That was hilarious! I'm still laughing! :)
---------

I know how you feel, Ms. Amira, sometimes, when I meet sisters, they're not that nice but after I get to know them, they're sweeter than candy. Anytime you say I love you for the sake of Allah to someone and they say 'JazakAllahKhair', just rememeber, all of the sisters on this forum, love YOU for the sake of Allah, and thats a lot of people! :loving:

:w:
Reply

Halima
11-18-2005, 09:32 PM
:sl:
Sister,I think the reason why you are depressed is because you want something more than a 'jzakhallah khair' reply.
You want something more than a simple reply only with a few words. You are longing for a sister to be true friends.
When I'm talking about friend I mean a sister that can hang out with you at your house,
or a sister that can share the same experiences with you.
Or even a sister just to have a good long conversation with.
The fact that you are shy, you cannot express yourself therefore whenever you say greetings other sisters interpret it as a greeting. Shyness has alot to do with how you express yourself so how your expressing yourself can be interpreted differently in another sister's eyes. According to psycology a shy person wants someone else to point out there feelings.
A shy person cannot properly express their inner self. They want other people to point out that you are looking for a friend, or that you really need a social life. The reason why I know so much is because I see it in teenagers all the time. Whenever somthing disappointing to them happen at school then who's the first person they run into? Their parents? No. Their teachers? No. They run into their friends because they have such a hard time to express themselves. I would consider this the same dilema that you are encountering.
Reply

Khayal
11-19-2005, 01:57 AM
:w: n :sl:

Oooh dear Amira!!! I love you 4 the sake of ALLAH..:loving:
n a BIG HUG 4 you...:rose: :)

:w:
Reply

Umm Safiya
11-19-2005, 06:35 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Halima
:sl:
Sister,I think the reason why you are depressed is because you want something more than a 'jzakhallah khair' reply.
You want something more than a simple reply only with a few words. You are longing for a sister to be true friends.
When I'm talking about friend I mean a sister that can hang out with you at your house,
or a sister that can share the same experiences with you.
Or even a sister just to have a good long conversation with.
:sl:

Oh my, you are so right! I'm speechless.. That's actually excactly how I feel.. And it's because, one of the close sisters I have, she lives so far away, that we don't talk and see each other that much.. & my best friend, she recently stopped wearing hijab and she is slowly moving further and further away from Islâm.. I have tried giving her da'wah, but she simply just don't listen at all, because her husband is aslo forgetting Islâm.. I still feel like she is my best friend, I can talk to her about everything and she don't judge me at all, but I still feel a little down, 'cause it's torturing me that she don't pull herself together.. So I think that's why I'm so longing for a sister to be close to.. Mann, didn't even realize that..

:w:

format_quote Originally Posted by akulion
i know the feeling sis...everytime i say to a sis i love u ...i get a slap...

lol

(joking - just to bring some laughter to u insha'Allah and cheer u up)
:sl:

LMAO, okay you succeeded in making me laugh.. JazakAllâhu khayr.. That was funny akhee.. Lol..

:w:
Reply

........
11-19-2005, 07:52 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by akulion
Dear Bro Lybian hero Salam Alaikum,

I dont go around saying I love you to sis :P lol that was a joke bro..man ur gona give me bad name loool

Dont let the non-muslims make you stop doing something that even the Prophet said to do, he said "If you love your brother then let him know that you love him"

Infact let me tell you a story from my college days (I went to college in the UK) - Note: This story may seem a little 'disgusting' to some but please dont judge, its a true story.

In college my closest friends circle was composed of: 2 egyptian brothers,and a brother from congo. Apart from them people who also used to hang out with us included, 1 bulgarian guy, 1 isreali guy, 1 american guy and 3 american girls. (The reason for the high number of americans is cos my college was an american college in uk)

Anyways me and my muslim bros used to use a 2 liter bottle of pepsi (filled with water) to do taharah (since in the UK they dont have systems to do taharah. (Taharah for those who dont know is basically washing up after u visit the toilet).

Moving on......We used to keep this bottle in one of our rooms and had it marked with a black marker - in big writing it said - "POISON - DO NOT DRINK" (since it was something we took to the toilet so it was uinclean).

Anyways the non muslims in our group often used to see us take the bottle with us to the toilet everytime we would visit the toilet. So one day the Isreali guy couldnt take it anymore and said, "What the heck do you do with that bottle man? Some weird kinky stuff?"

So we all tried to explain to them all that we used it to wash up after going to the loo. They ofcourse thought it was RIDICLOUS and LAUGHED. One thing to know about me is that I am a very out spoken person and when it comes down to explaining something to someone I will not hesitate to use the most basics and vivid descriptions to explain a thing to someone.
Their laughing was upsetting me, so I stood up and said, "Do you know the difference between us and you all?".
Taken aback they said, "what?"
I replied, "The different is that if you smell your ass right now it will stink to high hell, but if you smell mine, it wont! Go ahead try it!"
Everyone was shocked!.
I continued, "Washing after the loo is very benefical, because while all you do is smear the popo all over your buttoks with a piece of paper, we actually use water to clean everything away and then wash our hands with soap! As a result, your backsides stink cos there is still popo inside (no pun intended to Intel inside). Wheras, we are clean and less likely to develop diseases, bacteria, and other problems."

Alhamdolillah by the Mercy and Grace of Allah, my explanation had such a profound effect on those people that the Isreali guy started doing taharah regularly from that day forth, and one of the American girls eventually reverted to Islam through me Alhamdolillah.

Victory dance



So bro never stand down to these people - we have to teach them the TRUTH so they will give up their ridiclous ideas once and for all insha'Allah
wow mashaalah brother..crazy story..but really nice..mashaalah:)
Reply

Sahabiyaat
11-25-2005, 01:53 PM
lol
cool story

ur like me sister
wen i have the teeniest doubt that somebody meant something they said in a nasty way .....i get all worked up over nothing....,even if they meant nothing at all!
but alhamdulillah i calm down soon afterwards

dnt run over things too much in ur mind
u will realise its an exhausting process with no real benifit :)
always convince urself that they meant nothing bad...it wnt bother u any more InshaAllah :peace:
Reply

aamirsaab
11-25-2005, 02:05 PM
:sl:
LOL bro akulion. That was a classic. I'd give you reps for it but i already gave reps for the first post (the slap one :p).
Yo sis amira, have patience. I bet you in like 3 years time you'll have plenty of friends - everyone has to start somewhere. Besides, if they aren't your friend then it's their problem, not yours. If all you have done is be yourself, then it is their problem if they have not accepted you. Don't ever blame yourself for stuff like this. I agree with sis muslimahiprovin' too. cheer up yeah sis :D. "Don't worry be happy" that quote comes to mind :D.
Reply

Sahabiyaat
11-25-2005, 02:34 PM
haha
now try saying that in jackie chans accent

dhon wurwy be 'appy, smileeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Reply

my_name_islam
12-04-2005, 01:57 PM
Assalamualaikum

I bid peace for this is my first post and I sincerely hope I may get what I intended for. I urgently need words of truth and kindness, guidance from all brothers and sisters, wherever you are in helping me deal with a problem I am facing.

I ask that Allah, God will provide generously the Iman and conviction and clarity I urgently need to continue my passage of life.

This my story.

I am a born Muslim who is married to a non-Muslim sister who converted to Islam, Alhamdullilah. Our marriage initially, has not been too smooth and at one point in time my wife seemed to have lost most of her belief and trust in Islam. At that point in time too, I could recall that I was determined not to allow fallout in the marriage and it was still my responsibility to guide her back. I could also recall during that time that somehow my Iman was affected and It seemed that I was 'pushed' towards losing my own faith in Islam. I still remembered how physically and mentally painful it was, as though something, like a part of my body was ripped apart. Unfortunately, something else, possinly syaitan, had the better of me and in the moment of helplessness, I entirely forgotten Allah or God. It continued that way for quite some time until finally we made a decision to quit our jobs and move to live in her country of birth to be near her own parents.

In her country, which is a completely non-muslim country, we continue to have more quarrels and one day, we had a very severe one, where I almost injured my own wife, and then it dawned on me that I was not the person I was anymore. My heart was numb and my head was filled with heaviness and pain. I had no friends there and I felt extremely unaware of anything that surronds me. Somehow, in my desperation, I began to zikir and reflected Allah. In my loneliness, I sank to a depression and started to lose sleep. It continued for 2 years and felt like dying everyday. And I thought, there is nothing else that can help me, while what is left is my remembrance that I once grew up as a Muslim. I started praying and asking Allah in loneliness for help for that 2 years, however my sleep has not got any better. I suffered from severe fatigue and my chest started to ache. And then finally one day, my wife suddenly mentioned she belived in Allah, Islam.

We moved back to my country. I consulted a psychiatrist who prescirbed to me antidepressants to aid in my sleep. Somehow, it seemed things has not got any better for me. The only good thing is my wife seemed a good Muslim now.

As for me today, I am dealing with a mental torment that lives a life on its own. I long for the Iman I had or probably never had, and I still pray, but in the midst of my own prayers, the mental torment will come and I will have the feeling to reject Allah. I cannot explain what it is, but this is torturing me. I will suddenly lose all memory I had and all I felt was as though I sank to a state of depression. Sometimes, it felt so hard to point my heart to Allah. I ask anyone who is willing to help me.
Reply

- Qatada -
12-04-2005, 08:00 PM
wa alykum a Salaam warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.


Question

Scholars of Islam, as-Salamu `alaykum. Please shed light on how a believer can maintain his faith and trust in Allah. Also, are there different levels of trust in Allah?


Answer

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.


Dear sister in Islam, thanks a lot for your question which reflects your care to have a sound belief and faith. Allah commands Muslims to refer to people of knowledge to become well acquainted with the teachings of Islam.

As for your question, we’d cite the following statement on “Faith and Trust in Allah” by Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, former President of the Islamic Society of North America:

“Allah says in the Qur’an, “Whatever is in the heavens and on earth, declare the praises and glory of Allah. He is the Exalted in Might, the Wise. To Him belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth. He gives Life and Death and He has Power over all things. He is the First and the Last, the Evident and the Hidden and He has full knowledge of all things. He created the heavens and the earth in six Days, then He established Himself on the Throne (of authority). He knows what enters within the earth and what comes forth out of it, what comes down from heaven and what mounts up to it. And He is with you wherever you may be. And Allah sees well all that ye do. To Him belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth, and all affairs are referred back to Allah. He merges Night into Day, and He merges Day into Night; and He has full knowledge of the secrets of (all) hearts.” (Al-Hadid: 1-6)

We must have strong and deep faith and trust in Allah. Allah knows everything and He is with us wherever we are. He has power and might. He is Wise and Merciful. We should trust in Allah in all situations, whether happy or sad, whether successful or confronted with difficulties and problems.

“If Allah touches you with affliction, none can remove it but He; if He touches you with happiness, He hath power over all things. He is the Omnipotent over His servants; and He is the Wise, Acquainted with all things.”
(Al-An`am: 17-18)

Ibn `Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both) reported: I was (once) behind the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) when he said to me: “O son, I will teach you few words: Remember Allah, and He will protect you. Remember Allah, and you will find Him close to you. When you have to ask for something, ask of Allah. When you seek help, seek Allah’s help. Believe firmly that if all the creation desires to benefit you in anything, they can never benefit you, but that which Allah has decreed for you. If they all unite to harm you, they will not be able to harm you in anything, but that which Allah has decreed for you.” (At-Tirmidhi, hadith no. 2440)

These are important words. They are part of our faith as Muslims. We believe in One God. We are the people of tawhid (belief in the Oneness of Allah). Tawhid affects our lives, our personalities, and our behavior. Tawhid gives us:

1. Dignity and self-esteem. A believer in tawhid knows that Allah alone is the possessor of all power and none beside Him can benefit or harm a person or provide for his/her needs or give or take away life or wield authority or influence. This makes a person independent and highly dignified. Such a person would not disgrace himself/herself by bowing in homage to any creature, or begging anyone else. Such a person is not overawed by any person’s greatness. A person of tawhid has great determination, patience and perseverance. He/she is unshaken by any difficulty. He/she relies on Allah and places his/her trust in Allah. When such a person makes up his/her mind and devotes it to do Allah’s commands, he/she has full confidence in the support of the most powerful Lord.

2. Modesty and humbleness. A believer in tawhid knows that Allah is the Ultimate power and only Allah controls everything. Whatever one has is given by Allah. Allah can take away just as He can give. He/she knows that whatever happens in this world, big or small, good or evil, advantage or disadvantage, success or loss, increase or decrease, life or death, richness or poverty, health or sickness, everything happens by the will of Allah. A believer in tawhid cannot be arrogant and self-conceited because he/she believes that his/her merits or achievements are not due to his/her own worth, they are gifts from Allah. Such a person is always thankful to Allah and recognizes how much he/she depends upon Allah.

3. Morality, tolerance and open-mindedness. The believer in tawhid is always morally upright. All his/her standards come from One and the Same authority, the authority of Allah. He/she does not have double or multiple standards. There is only One Lord and the Lord treats all people equally. The rules of Allah are universal and they are applicable to all people in all places. A believer in tawhid knows that Allah has created everything in this universe and that everything and every being belongs to Allah. This makes a person very open-minded, tolerant and caring. Sometimes people say that monotheism makes people intolerant, but we say that this is the most tolerant and compassionate belief system because we do not believe that this belongs to my God and that belongs to some other god. It is polytheism and atheism that divide people and create intolerance and dissentions, not tawhid.

4. Ultimate peace and contentment. The belief in tawhid purges the mind of jealousy, envy, and greed and keeps away the temptation of resorting to base and unfair means for achieving success. The believer has faith that everything is in the hand of Allah. The honor, power, reputation, authority and everything are under His control and He gives to whomsoever He wills. The duty of the human being is to struggle, to do good and to trust in Allah.”

(Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: http://www.pakistanlink.com/religion.html)

Focusing more on the levels of trust in Allah, Dr. Muhammad Ash-Shahat Al-Jindi, the head of the Shari`ah Department, Faculty of Law, Helwan University, states:

“First of all, you should know that having trust in Allah is an integral part of the confidence that a Muslim should possess. One’s trust in Allah is really a surrender to His Infinite Will. In fact, a Muslim should depend on Allah in all times and under all circumstances.

Surely, the first level of trust, as far as trust in Allah is concerned, is to have firm belief in Allah and to have unshakable belief in pre-destination. With this, the Muslim will be rest assured that whatever happens around him is only through Allah’s Will. For example, the people who are the most righteous and God-fearing possess such level of complete trust in Allah particularly at times of distress. Referring to this, Allah Almighty says: “Say: Naught befalleth us save that which Allah hath decreed for us. He is our protecting Friend. In Allah let believers put their trust!” (At-Tawbah: 51)

Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), quoted the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) as saying: Allah the Almighty said: “I am as My servant thinks I am. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assemble better than it. And if he draws near to Me an arm's length, I draw near to him a fathom's length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.”

Having said this, I would like to say that there are other levels of trust in Allah, and those levels differ according to people’s faith and sincerity. It is no wonder to see people remembering Allah at times of distress and they may forget Him at times of joy and luxury. Of course, the pious people always remember Allah and possess full trust in Him along the course of their life.

Finally, I would like to say that every committed Muslim must know that all what happens is done through Allah’s Infinite Will, and without having such belief one is not regarded a real Muslim.”

If you are still in need of more information, don't hesitate to contact us. Do keep in touch. May Allah guide us all to the straight path!

Allah Almighty knows best.

Source.
Reply

- Qatada -
12-04-2005, 08:18 PM
Salaam o 'alykum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.

You may also want to check this thread out insha Allaah.

http://www.islamicboard.com/cyber-co...l-selling.html


if the info. above doesn't help that much, then please do mention it - we will try to look for a fatwa with a even more closer approach insha Allaah.

we will keep you in our prayers insha Allaah.


wa Salaam o 'alykum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.
Reply

Guardian
12-04-2005, 08:48 PM
I don't know if this will help or not. I don't have much knowledge of the Muslim religion even though I am Muslim. I can only give you advice based on my personal experiences (yet still, it might not be good advice).

My advice is for you to seek forgiveness from Allah. Maybe the reason why you feel compelled to reject Allah is because you feel guilty about “losing your Iman” and so you feel like you don’t deserve to pray to Allah. If that is the case then what I think you should do is ask for forgiveness and then try to make up for it by doing good to others. Often times I feel like I am in such great debt to Allah for all that he has done for me and there is no way for me to pay him back. So instead, I try to be good to other people, with hopes that this will please Allah (I always believed that Allah would want to see good things happen to his servants). And so that is what I would do everytime I feel guilty for something I have done and feel like I need to make it up to Allah, I would think of a way to improve myself and help those around me and do my best to accomplish it. Maybe you doing the same thing might help.

A quote that gets me through hard times is “While Allah exists (and he always shall), there will always be hope.” I can’t remember where I got the quote from.

I don’t know if this advice helps your or not, I hope it will.
Reply

- Qatada -
12-04-2005, 09:35 PM
Salaam o 'alykum warahmatulahi wabarakatuh.

masha Allaah well put bro guardian. i want to put a hadith which affects me drastically alhamdulilah:


Allaah subhanahu wa ta'aala says:


Hadith - Qudsi 34

O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it.
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sapphire
12-04-2005, 09:55 PM
inshallah Allah is with you...well shall all make dua inshallah and may everything turn out best......remember hold on to your iman...Allah may be testing you.....
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*charisma*
12-04-2005, 10:08 PM
Assalamu Alaikum

I don't know if this will help or not. I don't have much knowledge of the Muslim religion even though I am Muslim. I can only give you advice based on my personal experiences (yet still, it might not be good advice).

My advice is for you to seek forgiveness from Allah. Maybe the reason why you feel compelled to reject Allah is because you feel guilty about “losing your Iman” and so you feel like you don’t deserve to pray to Allah. If that is the case then what I think you should do is ask for forgiveness and then try to make up for it by doing good to others. Often times I feel like I am in such great debt to Allah for all that he has done for me and there is no way for me to pay him back. So instead, I try to be good to other people, with hopes that this will please Allah (I always believed that Allah would want to see good things happen to his servants). And so that is what I would do everytime I feel guilty for something I have done and feel like I need to make it up to Allah, I would think of a way to improve myself and help those around me and do my best to accomplish it. Maybe you doing the same thing might help.

A quote that gets me through hard times is “While Allah exists (and he always shall), there will always be hope.” I can’t remember where I got the quote from.

I don’t know if this advice helps your or not, I hope it will.
Mashallah, that was great advice..couldnt have said any better, dont put urself down when giving someone advice, cuz even the littlest information can help someone :)


Bro my_name_islam_ i think you should continue to pray no matter what, shaytan may be in your head trying to make you repent. Another note is to let go of the past, I know that it can be very hard sometimes, but Allah grants a person the next second for a reason, to repent, turn their heels from sins and walk into deeds. You have been given many seconds for you to turn ur life back together.

Keep in thikr and dua...everytime you see something that pleases you say mashallah, alhemdulilah, subhanallah..if you see something you dislike say astughfirallah, this will help you remember that Allah is in every sign of life and that He is Great.

Here is something that I've always liked:

The Prophet (pbuh) told us, "The Shaytaan sits in the path (of every goodness) that the son of Adam (may try to take). He sat in front of him when he took the path to Islam and told him, 'how could you leave the religion of your fathers and your fore-fathers?' But he disobeyed him and became Muslim. Then Shaytaan sat in front of him in his path to Hijrah and said, 'How could you leave your land and your sky?' But he disobeyed him and migrated (from Makkah). Then he sat in front of him in his path of Jihaad and said, 'Why should you do Jihad? It will only exhaust your wealth and body. You'll be killed, your wife will marry someone else, and your wealth will be divided (to others).' But he disobeyed him and went for Jihad." The Prophet (pbuh) then said, "Whoever does this, it is a duty upon Allah that He shall enter him into Jannah!"

The shaytan sat infront of the Rasul (peace and blessings be upon him) someone who was verily sinless, and he will continue to sit in our paths until Allah has demolished him from our souls. Yet this was an example that whoever you are sinless or sinful, you will always find troubles your way..but keep Allah as your goal so that you may reach him.

I dont know what kind of personality you have or anything like that, but sometimes when i am troubled, i like to sit alone with no one around me so that i may fix my thoughts and purify my mind even cry if i have to...also it might help to think of others that have been through something that you have been through so that you can take stay away from the mistakes they might have done..u know like learning from others mistakes rather than your own.

fi aman Allah
w'salaam
Reply

Snowflake
12-16-2005, 01:28 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl
:sl:

Im so depressed. :-[ :-[ :-[ :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(


:wilted_ro

Awww cheer up sis. Don't worry you can share, we won't think ur a nutcase. After all two nutcases are better than one ;D Hope ur feeling better now inshaAllah. Here's a joke to cheer u up a bit.

MYSTERIOUS CASE

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning at 11 a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. Why the death? So the doctors decide to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil........ Just when the clock struck 11.. Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.
:haha: :haha: :haha:



p.s (not intended to be racist, it's just a joke):phew
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mujahedeen2087
12-16-2005, 04:49 AM
i am always depressed
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samina1
12-16-2005, 04:51 AM
WHTS WRONG? IM WORRIED NW...
i gt lots of love cnt help it....
kudahafis
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mujahedeen2087
12-16-2005, 05:12 AM
life is difficult. especially during these times it seems we have to compromise islam to a certain degree to just live and get a job!!!
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Snowflake
12-16-2005, 11:29 AM
:sl:


Nothing's easy, but we still have to remind ourselves of what we have. I've got my beautiful child, my health, a roof over my head, clothing to cover myself, food to satisfy my hunger. Alhumdulillah I'm so so grateful to Allah for these blessings. I could've been suffering in a war-torn country by the hands of the kufaar or other calamities. We should remind ourselves constantly of these blessings. Have faith in Allah when you are depressed, and remember bad times do pass inshaAllah.

:w:
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Snowflake
12-16-2005, 04:06 PM
:sl: Bro My_Name_Islam,

I feel for the torment you're in. It seems you are lonely too and have somewhat become a recluse. Alhumdulillah your wife's faith in Islam has returned. Is it possible that you go to your local mosque at least once a day?
The positive change in your routine will help you inshaAllah. Maybe try to read namaz with a jamaat. The change in environment will help.

Also if your medication isn't working, you could try to ask your doctor to change it. With medication for depression, it's like trial and error. Different medication works for different people. I know it's hard bro, to do anything when you are depressed. It's the worst illness in some ways as no one can see the symptoms of your suffering. But inshaAllah, you will get through it.
Try to stay in wudhu as much as possible.

Do keep us posted. I will prayer for you inshaAllah.

Nadia

:w:
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Snowflake
12-16-2005, 06:16 PM
Lolololol Brother Akulion! Uffff your posts made me laugh even though I've got the grandfather of all headaches!!!

Sis Amira, dont feel so down sis. I love you for the sake of Allah & cuz ur a sweet lil sis. I know how ya feel but in my book, if someone don't return your love, they ain't worth it anyway. Can you believe I get the same treatment but I put it down to my looks. My grandmother is Burmese, mom is half burmese, dad was pakistani, so I'm kinda mixed lol. I've got this oriental look and I swear it's like I don't belong anywhere. It's like they don't know how to treat me. But ya know what? I regard Allah as my best friend in the whole wide world, cuz He is. So it don't bother me that much :)

:love: :rose: ((((((((Love & hugz to ya sis)))))))):rose: :love:
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Quruxbadaan
12-18-2005, 04:51 PM
Asalaamu Alaikum

Ha that was the most hilariouse thing ever bro
maa salaama
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TabTabiun
12-29-2005, 07:19 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ms. Amira
:sl:

What do I do, when I get depressed because of sisters?
I don't know that many sister, and I also like to keep have few associates, because I am really shy.. But I'm trying my best to be more outgoing when around sisters.. Eventhough I don't know some sisters really much, I still feel love for them, because they're my sisters.. So when I say I love you for the sake of Allâh, if they say thanks or jazakAllah then I'm just, 'hm, you not even gonna say it back?' eventhough it's not a big deal.. just because someone doesn't say it back, doens't mean that they dislike you.. and i should be happy when people say jazakAllâh to me, 'cause it's a good thing.. but why do I get so depressed and feel sad? its really annoying! am i just a sensitive person?
one time i said to a sister, I love you for the sake of Allâh and she said jazakallah sis.. and when she said that i honestly wanted to cry a little, 'cause she says i love you too to others.. so i really felt like i'm a nobody..
seriously, don't laugh.. i know im sooo overreacting! but, yeah.. what do i do?

:w:
As-Salaam Walikum- Do NOT EVEN SWEAT IT.. Because REMEMBER YOU LOVE THEM FOR THE PLEASURE OF ALLAH (SWT) SO IT REEEEEAAALLLLYYYY Shouldn't MATTER. Because YOUR DOING IT FOR ALLAH (SWT) RIGHT ? So What's the FLIGHT ?
***MaSalaama***
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MuslimaH~SistaH
12-29-2005, 08:44 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ms. Amira
:sl:

What do I do, when I get depressed because of sisters?
I don't know that many sister, and I also like to keep have few associates, because I am really shy.. But I'm trying my best to be more outgoing when around sisters.. Eventhough I don't know some sisters really much, I still feel love for them, because they're my sisters.. So when I say I love you for the sake of Allâh, if they say thanks or jazakAllah then I'm just, 'hm, you not even gonna say it back?' eventhough it's not a big deal.. just because someone doesn't say it back, doens't mean that they dislike you.. and i should be happy when people say jazakAllâh to me, 'cause it's a good thing.. but why do I get so depressed and feel sad? its really annoying! am i just a sensitive person?
one time i said to a sister, I love you for the sake of Allâh and she said jazakallah sis.. and when she said that i honestly wanted to cry a little, 'cause she says i love you too to others.. so i really felt like i'm a nobody..
seriously, don't laugh.. i know im sooo overreacting! but, yeah.. what do i do?

:w:

Asslama Alaikum Ms.Amira.

I think I understand Ur feeling,but i don't think U should be Sad,becouse If U said to someone that U love the them for the Sake of Allah,Allah loves u and give U 'Reward of that,And I'm sure that's Enough for U.

I love U sis For the sake of Allah.:loving: :rose:


~~Salam~~
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shudnt_have
01-01-2006, 05:33 PM
Asalaamu alikum,
I been there and done there.Just the other day, my sister and I had this long conversation on this very topic...the moral of the talk was "never expect anything from anyone, except Allah swt, be nice , kind only for Allah swt"
This is make you self-less and wont let you down everytime when you beg the situation to differ..:sister:
wasalam
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muslimahsays_hi
01-02-2006, 02:45 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by akulion
Dear Bro Lybian hero Salam Alaikum,

I dont go around saying I love you to sis :P lol that was a joke bro..man ur gona give me bad name loool

Dont let the non-muslims make you stop doing something that even the Prophet said to do, he said "If you love your brother then let him know that you love him"

Infact let me tell you a story from my college days (I went to college in the UK) - Note: This story may seem a little 'disgusting' to some but please dont judge, its a true story.

In college my closest friends circle was composed of: 2 egyptian brothers,and a brother from congo. Apart from them people who also used to hang out with us included, 1 bulgarian guy, 1 isreali guy, 1 american guy and 3 american girls. (The reason for the high number of americans is cos my college was an american college in uk)

Anyways me and my muslim bros used to use a 2 liter bottle of pepsi (filled with water) to do taharah (since in the UK they dont have systems to do taharah. (Taharah for those who dont know is basically washing up after u visit the toilet).

Moving on......We used to keep this bottle in one of our rooms and had it marked with a black marker - in big writing it said - "POISON - DO NOT DRINK" (since it was something we took to the toilet so it was uinclean).

Anyways the non muslims in our group often used to see us take the bottle with us to the toilet everytime we would visit the toilet. So one day the Isreali guy couldnt take it anymore and said, "What the heck do you do with that bottle man? Some weird kinky stuff?"

So we all tried to explain to them all that we used it to wash up after going to the loo. They ofcourse thought it was RIDICLOUS and LAUGHED. One thing to know about me is that I am a very out spoken person and when it comes down to explaining something to someone I will not hesitate to use the most basics and vivid descriptions to explain a thing to someone.
Their laughing was upsetting me, so I stood up and said, "Do you know the difference between us and you all?".
Taken aback they said, "what?"
I replied, "The different is that if you smell your ass right now it will stink to high hell, but if you smell mine, it wont! Go ahead try it!"
Everyone was shocked!.
I continued, "Washing after the loo is very benefical, because while all you do is smear the popo all over your buttoks with a piece of paper, we actually use water to clean everything away and then wash our hands with soap! As a result, your backsides stink cos there is still popo inside (no pun intended to Intel inside). Wheras, we are clean and less likely to develop diseases, bacteria, and other problems."

Alhamdolillah by the Mercy and Grace of Allah, my explanation had such a profound effect on those people that the Isreali guy started doing taharah regularly from that day forth, and one of the American girls eventually reverted to Islam through me Alhamdolillah.

Victory dance



So bro never stand down to these people - we have to teach them the TRUTH so they will give up their ridiclous ideas once and for all insha'Allah

LOL I know this isnt supposed to be funny, but it is! just the way your said it, I could just picture a convo like this going on, funny! very true though! Alhamdulilah the American lady reverted. oh and thx for sharing!!
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1m@@n
01-04-2006, 03:38 AM
Awwwwwwwwww mashaAllah....sis ur a bit like meee!! im kindda shy too...and i like to be told that im loved by fellow sisters too....so that makes 2 of us!!!

I LOVE YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH SIS! all for the sake of Allah swt!!!

you keep that chin up n smile...and like you said u dunno whats in sum1s heart...and many times we hold so much love for others in our heart but we forget to show it....and we dun realise it!!

you just be happy n smile....n every time me tell a sis i luv em il think of you n smile inshaAllah.....

and remember...the most imp kindda love is the love we gain from Allah swt by being pious n rightous muslims isnhaAllah....and dats the main thing....and mashaAllah you seem to be a luvly person, with lota luv for all...may Allah reward you for all the love you hold for islam....ameen

ws wr wb
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Aisha20
01-06-2006, 06:39 PM
I :loving: U 4 THE SAKE OF ALLAH
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Aurin
01-06-2006, 07:12 PM
ditto.

its completely natural to wanna be loved by ur fellow sisters. and u shud be.

I LOVE YOU FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH.

and: that story was FUUUUNNNYYYY with an excellent moral. neone else went thru ne expiriences like that?
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UmmKhadi
01-06-2006, 07:20 PM
Salaam aleikum

You are my neighbour, I have to love you. Even if you speak funny and sound like you have a potato down your throat...







(Yes, I am Norwegian...)
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samina1
01-06-2006, 07:29 PM
salam sis,
i personaly dnt knw u but it take a muslimah to love a sis for da sake of allah swt.. N IAM SORRY FOR SAYIN THIS OR I HOPE UR ATLEAST GALD TO HEAR IT FROM UNKNWN SIS...
I LOVE U FROM DA BOTTOM OF MY HEART FOR DA SAKE OF ALLAH SWT N ALSO FOR DA SAKE OF DEEN N SAKE OF HUMANITY...
p.z i hope tht made u happy...
ma salam..
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UmmKhadi
01-06-2006, 08:53 PM
I am Norwegian.
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sapphire
01-06-2006, 09:06 PM
hey sis i luv ya loadssssss for da sake of Allah!!!!!!

lol bro akulion!!!!!!!
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Khadeejah
01-06-2006, 09:31 PM
Asalaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa BAraakatu,
Today saying " I love you for the sake of Allah" does not come as easy as it has before...I dont think I have ever heard anyone in my masjid tell someone " I love you for the sake of Allah". And truthfully if I were told Jazaak Allah or Jazaak Allahu Khair it would not be enough because sometimes it takes a long time in deciding if you will say it or not out of fear of the persons reaction...Sometimes Jazaak Allahu Khair is good enough and sometimes it isnt especially when someone is looking for a certain response....If you salaamed someone and they said Wa Alaikum, would that be good enough? or if they simply said hello would that be good enough? not really because what you expected was a Wa Alaikum Asalaam or Wa Alaikum Asalaamu Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Baraakatu.....To someone who is not shy mayb that is not an issue....But to someone who is infact shy and does not have many friends...And my dear sisters and brothers there is a difference in having friends and knowing sisters...Knowing a sister is saying salaam calling each other once in a while and so on but to have a true friend is completly different there is more time spent "secrets, goals, aspirations" and things that might not be otherwised shared will be shared among friends....Back to the point for someone who is shy to tell someone you love them for the sake of Allah and have the correct response it is like a feeling of acceptance if that is a correct way to say it...But to not have the correct response can make the person ask themself is there is something wrong with them as a person or a muslim...or if they are not good enough...As brothers and sisters in Islam we should be aware of what we say inshaAllah as it can truly hurt someones feelings and you might not even know it has..And understand it is not what you say its how you say it!..and that can also cause an ill feeling in the heart even if only for a second...Allahu Alim....May Allah swt help us all Ameen!!!
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anonymous
02-22-2006, 10:04 PM
why is it that you do so much for ppl but they just dont appreciate you?
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DaNgErOuS MiNdS
02-22-2006, 10:10 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
why is it that you do so much for ppl but they just dont appreciate you?
Dont worry you will always be apreciated, u might not know it but you will know one day.
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arehat
02-22-2006, 10:30 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by DaNgErOuS MiNdS
Dont worry you will always be apreciated, u might not know it but you will know one day.
Allah will reward us for the things we do for ppl

But i guess its hard to c that our efforts dont mean anything to the person itself!
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aamirsaab
02-22-2006, 10:34 PM
:sl:
You shouldn't care what other people think about you - it leads to depression. Instead, work to please Allah for it is He alone that will send you to Heaven or Hell.

It's hard to accept it, but sometimes you do get people who don't appreciate you. I say stuff em and carry on living your life: if people don't appreciate what you do, it's their problem, not yours. Hold your head up high and remain faithfull to Allah.
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akulion
02-22-2006, 10:40 PM
The Prophet said, "The (reward of) deeds depend on intentions, and every person will get the reward according to what he intends. So, whoever migrated for Allah and His Apostle, then his migration will be for Allah and His Apostle, and whoever migrated for worldly benefits or for marrying a woman, then his migration will be for what he migrated for."

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.706 Narrated byUmar bin Al Khattab


So my bro never look for the reward of the dunya

but look for the pleasure of Allah

Whenever you do good to whomever you do it to insha'Allah
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lyesh
02-23-2006, 10:17 AM
Salaam
Whenever u do something for someone u must keep in ur heart tht ur doing this for Allah! So u want the reward only from Allah! Dont worry, There will come a day when all your good deeds would be rewarded if u r a perfect muslim!

w, salaam
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Selising
02-23-2006, 03:24 PM
If you do something for reward from Allah it is an ibadah of a trader. If you do something just to please Allah that is Ikhlas, just for Him not for the reward He is offering

Rabiatul Adawiyah says she will accept if Allah put her in hell as long as Allah still loves her
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Kittygyal
02-23-2006, 03:27 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
why is it that you do so much for ppl but they just dont appreciate you?
that happens to me at times aswell it just make me cry at times :'( :'(
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Z
02-23-2006, 03:53 PM
Salaam.

Well sometimes people may find it hard to express their appreciation for you which is why it'll be hard to know whether they appreciate the things you do for them.
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Snowflake
02-23-2006, 06:32 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
why is it that you do so much for ppl but they just dont appreciate you?
:sl:

Like Z said, some ppl may not express their appreciation as you would like them to.

You might be expecting something in return, and not getting it makes you feel unappreciated.

You might be going out of your way to please people and compared to your efforts their thanks may seem less to you. So do everything in moderation.

Finally when you do something for the sake of Allah. That's it. Don't expect anything from anyone and you won't be disappointed. No one can reward you like Allah will anyway. InshaAllah.

:w:
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soraia
02-24-2006, 10:16 AM
Finally when you do something for the sake of Allah. That's it. Don't expect anything from anyone and you won't be disappointed. No one can reward you like Allah will anyway. InshaAllah.
Yeah thats true!!!
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Al-Zaara
02-24-2006, 10:57 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by akulion
i know the feeling sis...everytime i say to a sis i love u ...i get a slap...

lol

(joking - just to bring some laughter to u insha'Allah and cheer u up)
:sl: brother and sisters.

LOL, that was sooo funny... then your story... I almost couldn't stop laughing!! :giggling: Thank you for sharing that awesome expirience with us, brother! :giggling:

And sister Ms.Amira, don't be sad, there are many sisters out here that love you for the sake of Allah, myself included. :love:

:thankyou: JazakAllah for loving me for the sake of Allah, I love you too for the sake of Allah. May He have mercy on you and make your life easy. :)

Ma salama.
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Lina
02-24-2006, 05:46 PM
:sl:

well, actually when someone says 'I love you for the sake of Allah subhana wa ta'la' the answer should be; 'Ahabbakal ladhie ahbabtanie lahou' which means; 'May He that makes you love me; love you'.
:w:
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arehat
02-24-2006, 09:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by islamgyal
that happens to me at times aswell it just make me cry at times :'( :'(
yah me to

lately i just feel so dwn.
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Kittygyal
02-24-2006, 09:23 PM
u knw i think we should leave em cuz god knwz wot we done for em

am i ryt or not?
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arehat
02-24-2006, 09:26 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by islamgyal
u knw i think we should leave em cuz god knwz wot we done for em

am i ryt or not?
what do u mean leave them?

Its realy hard when your realy care about them.
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Al-Zaara
02-24-2006, 09:37 PM
:sl:

Really? I've learned a new thing now!!
Thank you for telling me!! :thankyou:

Now I will say it right: Ahabbakal ladhie ahbabtanie lahou.
Huh, hard for someone who doesn't speak arabic... But I'll learn it, inshallah.

:w:
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Snowflake
02-24-2006, 09:45 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by arehat
what do u mean leave them?

Its realy hard when your realy care about them.
:sl:
A person can aim, but will never be able to please everyone all the time. You give an inch and they want a mile. So keep everything in life to limits and you'll find you're less disappointed.

This quote sums it all up for me:
"He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away." - Raymond Hull

:w:
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Takumi
02-25-2006, 04:51 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
why is it that you do so much for ppl but they just dont appreciate you?
Maybe they do, but they don't have the skills to communicate that appreciation to you.

Maybe you are a kind of person who want verbal acknowledgement, that's fine. That's unique to you.

If you are working in a company, try to verbally appreciate someone else's work by verbally appreciating them.

Verbal communication is a learned trait. No one is born to communicate effectively. Sometimes, we just need to gather enough courage to say it, even though the other party does not reciprocate.

Try learning these phrases and use them.

(1) I really like the way you...
(2) I believe you did a great job on....
(3) Thank you so much for your help, I don't know how I'd do it without your help..
(4) I don't know how you do it, you seem to know when I needed help the most, thanks.
(5) JazakAllahu khairan, may Allah find this deed of yours on the day of judgment and reward you tremendously
(6) I'm so glad that we are working together. It really makes a difference

You see, positive communication is contagious. It creates positive vibe among us.

Usually, due to cultural dogma, effective communication is hindered by shyness and maybe the lack of know how.

For people to appreciate you, you need to start with your appreciating others. I know that you're doing that already, be patient and insha Allah, your kindness and thoughtfulness will be reciprocated.

If not by your colleagues, friends or family, most definitely by the One who has inspired that kindness in your soul. :)
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arehat
02-25-2006, 02:10 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Takumi
Maybe they do, but they don't have the skills to communicate that appreciation to you.

Maybe you are a kind of person who want verbal acknowledgement, that's fine. That's unique to you.

If you are working in a company, try to verbally appreciate someone else's work by verbally appreciating them.

Verbal communication is a learned trait. No one is born to communicate effectively. Sometimes, we just need to gather enough courage to say it, even though the other party does not reciprocate.

Try learning these phrases and use them.

(1) I really like the way you...
(2) I believe you did a great job on....
(3) Thank you so much for your help, I don't know how I'd do it without your help..
(4) I don't know how you do it, you seem to know when I needed help the most, thanks.
(5) JazakAllahu khairan, may Allah find this deed of yours on the day of judgment and reward you tremendously
(6) I'm so glad that we are working together. It really makes a difference

You see, positive communication is contagious. It creates positive vibe among us.

Usually, due to cultural dogma, effective communication is hindered by shyness and maybe the lack of know how.

For people to appreciate you, you need to start with your appreciating others. I know that you're doing that already, be patient and insha Allah, your kindness and thoughtfulness will be reciprocated.

If not by your colleagues, friends or family, most definitely by the One who has inspired that kindness in your soul. :)
JAZAKALLAH a great encouragment!
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julie sarri
02-28-2006, 10:02 AM
:sl: i love all my sisters aroud the world for the sake of allah:love: :love: :sister:
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Hannah
03-01-2006, 06:40 PM
AOA

Don't worry, remember if Allah swt brings you to it, he will help you through it!
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abdullahi
03-01-2006, 08:14 PM
:sl:
great quote sis, so true
:w:
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The Ruler
03-01-2006, 08:16 PM
i aint deppressed but ma sis really is...:rollseyes

:w:
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AceOfHearts
03-04-2006, 09:24 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by ABDULLAH SAOOD
Assalamo-alaikum-warahmatullahi-wabrakatu

Sorry to hear you are depressed Sis...........a big Shaykh in Medina once told me that if you are ever depressed read the tafseer of the quran.........inshallah, inshallah you will no longer be depressed.

Abdullah

Tafseer?

Read a good translation of the Quran. :)
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renak
03-09-2006, 05:36 AM
I've suffered with depression for about five years. I've been in counseling, on medication, and read too many self help books. The only thing that works for me is to concentrate on other people, those less fortunate. This makes me feel greatful, and takes my mind off my own "problems". I also recommend volunteer work, and of course a lot of prayer.
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HeiGou
03-09-2006, 11:10 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by renak
I've suffered with depression for about five years. I've been in counseling, on medication, and read too many self help books. The only thing that works for me is to concentrate on other people, those less fortunate. This makes me feel greatful, and takes my mind off my own "problems". I also recommend volunteer work, and of course a lot of prayer.
Ahh! I don't think that thinking about the unfortunate people in the world will help many people. I am all for volunteer work and prayer.

But I think that having a meaningful relationship with someone (and I do not mean sex) is what cures most people of depression, especially depression in the teen years.

That aside, there are things you can do. Exercise is good for depression. So take up regular running or swimming or something. Diet can affect your mood so watch what you eat carefully and see how you feel for the next day or two. Some foods may trigger mood shifts. Sleep regularly and well. Being tired is often a trigger too. Drink more coffee. Caffeine clearly has an effect on depression and drinking it can cure or it can make worse, so be careful. Some people find a cup or two of coffee a day is enough to relieve all the symptoms as long as they get their coffee. And more sun shine is not a bad thing either. Getting a tan does lift peoples' moods apparently. This may be a problem for Muslim women who cover up.
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renak
03-09-2006, 05:34 PM
I think that focussing on other people, and not obsessing about yourself takes your mind off many of your problems.
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08101990
03-09-2006, 05:48 PM
depression is a very bad desease. not only for the person who's going through it but for everyone around that person too. because seeing a person u love so much just get depressed over nothing in particular... even cry sometimes, its just the worst feeling one could ever get. at least i think so. my mother suffers with depression whenever the season changes... and it's hard to see her like tht, even though she's had depression since before i was born...
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Kittygyal
03-09-2006, 05:50 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by 08101990
depression is a very bad desease. not only for the person who's going through it but for everyone around that person too. because seeing a person u love so much just get depressed over nothing in particular... even cry sometimes, its just the worst feeling one could ever get. at least i think so. my mother suffers with depression whenever the season changes... and it's hard to see her like tht, even though she's had depression since before i was born...

THAT IS SO TRU BRO....:happy:


TAKE CARE
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08101990
03-09-2006, 05:52 PM
^ am a girl sis...
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Kittygyal
03-09-2006, 05:58 PM
O Sori Sis Plz Forgve Me :(

Tale Care
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Mhd_ibn_Mhd
03-12-2006, 12:29 AM
A muslim to another muslim is like a body. When one part is hurt (head-ache), the whole body feels the pain. The other parts (i.e.) hands (walk to the doctors), mouth (speak to the doctor) etc. will help each other out.
All for one, one for all.

...Muhammad :shade:
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Snowflake
03-12-2006, 12:37 AM
oh what a relief!!! I thought people were still replying to the original post.. cuz that was from september 2005 .. inshaAllah the sister stopped feeling depressed yonks ago :happy:
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Pure Imaan
03-15-2006, 11:18 PM
Asalamualaikum
We all get depressed now and again, rememba that ALLAH (swt) is always there for us in times of sadness, depression, darkness, hapiness and so on. As brother Mhd_ibn_Mhd sed the ummah is like the body if one area is hurting so will the rest of the body. Neva fear as ALLAH (swt) is always there
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aamirsaab
03-28-2006, 07:19 PM
:sl:
format_quote Originally Posted by Takumi
Try learning these phrases and use them.

(1) I really like the way you...
(2) I believe you did a great job on....
(3) Thank you so much for your help, I don't know how I'd do it without your help..
(4) I don't know how you do it, you seem to know when I needed help the most, thanks.
(5) JazakAllahu khairan, may Allah find this deed of yours on the day of judgment and reward you tremendously
(6) I'm so glad that we are working together. It really makes a difference
Those sound like halal chat-up lines. mind if I use em? :p

Listen to Takumi - he knows what he's on about.
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Ghazi
03-28-2006, 07:26 PM
Salaam

One thing you need to realise, you should do everything for the sake of allah whats someones gratitude gonna get ya, by doing things for the sake of allah you'll recieve reward.
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F.Y.
03-29-2006, 11:08 PM
Salaam

Brother, I know how you must feel to not be appreciated. But think about this - Allah gives us life, feeds us, clothes us, gives us families etc etc - and more often than not, people are unthankful to Him most of the time. Unthankful to Allah, the greatest.
So, how is it that you think they will be thankful to you?

I hope you understand what I mean. Just think that this life is temporary - and any good you do - do it for the sake of Allah and not to gain the appreciation of those around you.

Peace
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zircon
04-03-2006, 03:19 AM
i hope this copy-paste material helps..

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.. forgive them anyway
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish motives... be kind anyway
If you are successful, you'll win some false friends, and some true enemies.. succeed anyway
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight... build anyway
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous... be happy anyway
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow.. be good anyway
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough... give them the best you have anyway
You see.. in the final analysis.. it's between you and Allah,
It never was between you and them anyway!
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Maryam22
04-03-2006, 04:59 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
why is it that you do so much for ppl but they just dont appreciate you?
:sl:
your in my club, sis!
I deal with it, with the help of Allah. alhamdulilah. but the way i think about it, is that maybe people do appreciate you, its just that you don't know it. they may, for example, speak kindly about you behind your back. Allahu alam, you never know.
:w:
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irsha
04-03-2006, 05:13 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
why is it that you do so much for ppl but they just dont appreciate you?
I think its because people are basically selfish. They think only of their own feelings at any given point in time. I know how you feel, I consider myself a fairly generous person both with my time and money, but it is quite rare that you feel that reciprocated. I can only say, that you must be yourself, don't stop being generous just because its not appreciated as you feel it should, if you change and become cynical, then it wont change them- just makes you less how you like people to be.
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Isra
05-01-2006, 03:22 AM
I love my husband. That is the most important thing in my life. He makes me so happy, and I never was given happiness before.

But he also is the source of my unhappiness. I'm not his only wife. he loves us both equal, but I was never raised in this situation, so I have trouble handling it.

his other wife isn't here with us, but they talk everyday. They have 2 kids together. We have none. We both work 13 hours a day in different stores and I never see any of the money becuse he sends all of it to them. He always flirts with other girls and never comes home after work, so I never see him. If I call him, he tells me to stop checking on him so much, but I just miss him.

I do love him, and i know he loves me too, but I cry over this everyday, and i need advice. Please help me.

Salam.
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snakelegs
05-01-2006, 05:07 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Isra

I do love him, and i know he loves me too

Salam.
how??? sure doesn't sound like love to me.
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"..MariAm.."
05-01-2006, 05:36 AM
ASALAMOALAIKUM :sister:
don't be depressed .... just relax and pray to ALLAH and seek HIS help :)
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Allahs_slave
05-01-2006, 08:19 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Isra
I love my husband. That is the most important thing in my life. He makes me so happy, and I never was given happiness before.

But he also is the source of my unhappiness. I'm not his only wife. he loves us both equal, but I was never raised in this situation, so I have trouble handling it.

his other wife isn't here with us, but they talk everyday. They have 2 kids together. We have none. We both work 13 hours a day in different stores and I never see any of the money becuse he sends all of it to them. He always flirts with other girls and never comes home after work, so I never see him. If I call him, he tells me to stop checking on him so much, but I just miss him.

I do love him, and i know he loves me too, but I cry over this everyday, and i need advice. Please help me.

Salam.

if u've been married so long, and hes always been the same,, i say you ask for divorce
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akulion
05-01-2006, 08:27 AM
Salam Alaikum

Well sis sounds to me like he isnt treating you and the other wife equally.
So before anything else my advise would be to talk to him about it very seriously. Because he is your husband and we here are simply strangers on a forum.

So begin by talking to him and have someone from either your family or his family present who will over see the discussions. The appointment of a wali in matters of reconciliation is VERY important. So select a suitable wali and hold serious talks with your hubby.

If talks fail and he continues with the bad treatment then there are 2 options left for you which are ENTIRELY your own decision:
You can either:
1 - Have sabr and stay with him
2 - With the help of the wali seek divorce

Thats the best advice I can give best to my knowledge.
May Allah swt make you happy and make your problems go away. Ameen
Bro Aku
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Sahabiyaat
05-01-2006, 05:18 PM
i think the most hurtful thing to you sister is the absence of children which would distract you and give you purpose and happiness, and the fact that she has children makes you even more distraught.
SubhanAllah :) was this not the case with ibraheems wife ? and what happend in that story ?

its ridiculous to jump to divorce but if this continues, life may become suddenly unbearable for you if your pushed to the side all the time like you dont exist.

speak to your husband, if he doesnt know how can he improve the situation?
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Muslim Soldier
05-01-2006, 05:21 PM
The best thing is to tell him how you feel. Talk to him. tell him about his flirts and how they hurt you.
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Nicola
05-01-2006, 05:30 PM
You are a stronger person than I, because I couldn't share anyone in a personal relationship, knowing they where with someone else also.
If you don't mind me asking you
Did you have to give him permission to marry again, or are you the second wife?



All I can say is it you that he lives with..so at least you know that it is you he wishes to be with full time..not with his second wife..
Best of luck, I'm sure God will guide you and bring you peace.
God Bless
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Allahs_slave
05-01-2006, 06:38 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Nicola
You are a stronger person than I, because I couldn't share anyone in a personal relationship, knowing they where with someone else also.
If you don't mind me asking you
Did you have to give him permission to marry again, or are you the second wife?



All I can say is it you that he lives with..so at least you know that it is you he wishes to be with full time..not with his second wife..
Best of luck, I'm sure God will guide you and bring you peace.
God Bless
? the husband has to ask for the first wife's permission? cool :D .. didn't know that .. where i live, ppl get married to a second wife b4 the first knowing lol, is there any hadith/qoran verse supportin that ? id appreciate it, thanx

ahmad
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Nicola
05-01-2006, 06:45 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Allahs_slave
? the husband has to ask for the first wife's permission? cool :D .. didn't know that .. where i live, ppl get married to a second wife b4 the first knowing lol, is there any hadith/qoran verse supportin that ? id appreciate it, thanx

ahmad
any particular reason for the sacasim?

I've read it in many posts on this forum from muslims..the husband asks the first wifes permission.

Well I expect it's ok if they don't bother asking...seeing has they can lie to their wives anyhow.
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Hijaabi22
05-01-2006, 06:46 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Isra
I love my husband. That is the most important thing in my life. He makes me so happy, and I never was given happiness before.

But he also is the source of my unhappiness. I'm not his only wife. he loves us both equal, but I was never raised in this situation, so I have trouble handling it.

his other wife isn't here with us, but they talk everyday. They have 2 kids together. We have none. We both work 13 hours a day in different stores and I never see any of the money becuse he sends all of it to them. He always flirts with other girls and never comes home after work, so I never see him. If I call him, he tells me to stop checking on him so much, but I just miss him.

I do love him, and i know he loves me too, but I cry over this everyday, and i need advice. Please help me.

Salam.
i cudnt live with bein a second wife i feel 4 ya sis
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A(SMILE ITS ME)
05-01-2006, 07:02 PM
Slaam,
I Can Only Say Money Problems,talk To Him Explain.
Not Good Too Hold It All In.
Tell Him How U Feel.
Find A Middle Ground.
What U Both Enjoy Doing Ur Self
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A(SMILE ITS ME)
05-01-2006, 07:04 PM
Another Thing.
Depression Is A Word I Believe Exists In The Mind,u Are Stronger Than That.life Is Hard But U Must Be Stronger.
Believe Me Ive Been There
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Isra
05-01-2006, 07:22 PM
I am the second wife. When we got married 4 months ago, I knew about the wife and kids, but I told him I would try. Yesterday was the breaking point though. I cried all night and we fought, but he held me close until I stoped crying.
I can't seem to stop the tears though, and because I'm so sad, it causes more fights.
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Allahs_slave
05-01-2006, 08:16 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Nicola
any particular reason for the sacasim?

I've read it in many posts on this forum from muslims..the husband asks the first wifes permission.

Well I expect it's ok if they don't bother asking...seeing has they can lie to their wives anyhow.

i swear i wasn't bein sarcastic :offended:, i really didn't know that!

and for you my sister isra :( , please try to have patience (inna allah ma'a assabereen), you will be in my prayers and dua's i promise...

peace
ahmad
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chacha_jalebi
05-01-2006, 08:21 PM
salaam

sister u need 2 put ur foot down, a marriage is a 2 way thin, it seems he has control, u need 2 let him decide, if he wants 2 keep u as a wife or talk 2 his old wife, u need 2 let him no ur feelins n put ur foot down,

inshallah Allah (swt) will sort u out, as he put u fru it, he will take u out of it!!

i pray u b happy sister!!! :)
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A(SMILE ITS ME)
05-02-2006, 10:30 AM
Saalam,

I Feel U Need To Have An Eqal Ground?
Talk About His Previou Life.
What He Expects,meet His Prev Children,
Try To Adjust Too Them But Above All Be His Partner, Make Quality Time For Urselves
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IbnAbdulHakim
05-02-2006, 10:31 AM
its all about suliman mulla's depression vs contentment video. WALLAHI U WILL FEEL BETTER!! WATCH IT!
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------
05-02-2006, 10:33 AM
Make Istikharah sis and Inshallah Allah will help u :D
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A(SMILE ITS ME)
05-02-2006, 10:37 AM
Oh Me Again.
Q Is He A Practising Muslim.
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Nicola
05-02-2006, 12:12 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Allahs_slave
i swear i wasn't bein sarcastic :offended:, i really didn't know that!

and for you my sister isra :( , please try to have patience (inna allah ma'a assabereen), you will be in my prayers and dua's i promise...

peace
ahmad
No I'm sorry,
I read information on here, and often when I use that information on a another thread thinking I've learnt something about Islamic law...I'm told by other Muslims that I am wrong :uhwhat ...makes me wonder who really does know what! I've seem that many variations on certain subjects. I can't understand where all this confusion comes from.

Peace
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Allahs_slave
05-02-2006, 03:08 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Nicola
No I'm sorry,
I read information on here, and often when I use that information on a another thread thinking I've learnt something about Islamic law...I'm told by other Muslims that I am wrong :uhwhat ...makes me wonder who really does know what! I've seem that many variations on certain subjects. I can't understand where all this confusion comes from.

Peace
hello sister

This is not true Nicola, all the brothers and sisters would give the same answers, specially when its supported by the qoran or sunna, actually the thing i love about islam is that its all explained fully and nothing is contradicting to anything else. but in my case when i said that here in jordan youd see ppl marry without informing their first wives, it doesn't mean that they follow islam by doin this, aand the reason i was surprized lol is because my islamic knowledge is abit weak. anyway sorry i confused you ...

peace

ahmad
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Nicola
05-02-2006, 06:11 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Allahs_slave
hello sister

This is not true Nicola, all the brothers and sisters would give the same answers, specially when its supported by the qoran or sunna, actually the thing i love about islam is that its all explained fully and nothing is contradicting to anything else. but in my case when i said that here in jordan youd see ppl marry without informing their first wives, it doesn't mean that they follow islam by doin this, aand the reason i was surprized lol is because my islamic knowledge is abit weak. anyway sorry i confused you ...

peace

ahmad

I don't mean just about this issue...I mean other issues concerning e.g allowing lying..washing of hands.. Judas was cruified instead of Jesus etc...

I believe it's because some are new to the religion and still learning themselves so they do not fully understand the Quran and it's laws...

I have taken their words to be correct, when infact it is not...because when I later repeat it ..other Muslims tell me I'm wrong.
that is what I am meaning.
sorry for the confusion.
Peace
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Snowflake
05-02-2006, 06:56 PM
Isra;286617]I love my husband. That is the most important thing in my life. He makes me so happy, and I never was given happiness before.
Salam sis,

If you throw a straw to a drowning man, he will try to clutch it to save himself. Similarly when your husband showed you whatever feelings he has for you, you clutched at them, mistaking them for love. But love isn't about giving you compliments, finding you attractive and whatever. It is about respect and giving you your rights as a wife too. Anything less isn't love sweetheart, but mere convenience. How can someone who denies you your rights love you?

But he also is the source of my unhappiness. I'm not his only wife. he loves us both equal, but I was never raised in this situation, so I have trouble handling it.
his other wife isn't here with us, but they talk everyday. They have 2 kids together. We have none. We both work 13 hours a day in different stores and I never see any of the money becuse he sends all of it to them. He always flirts with other girls and never comes home after work, so I never see him. If I call him, he tells me to stop checking on him so much, but I just miss him.
I don't know what the situation of the other wife is, but maybe he doesnt want his kids to lack anything and therefore gives them what he earns. Maybe he even feels guilty about 'leaving' his wife and sees the money as compensation for bringing another wife (you) on her.

Whatever the reason is, you are not being treated equally. One of your rights as a wife is maintenance. That is food, shelter, and clothing. Because the other wife has two children, I think the split of income cannot be equal and I suggest you consult an imaan about what you are entitled to. He must give you give you a share and you may (if willing) supplement your living expenses with your earnings. He cannot be made to spend beyond his means and you are not entitled to make unreasonable demands.

If you lack knowledge of deen, then it will be hard, even impossible, to make your husband see his failings. Increase your knowledge on what Allah has ordained for muslims and share this with your husband. If you can, cut down your working hours and get to know some practicing muslim sisters, then through them, get their husbands to invite your husband to learn about Islam;including his duties as a husband. Once he realises the seriousness of his shortcomings, inshaAllah your situation will improve. The flirting will also stop as will the injustice you are suffering. You must also strive to practice as not only will the blessings of Allah be with you, but it will propel your husband to think about what he is doing to a good muslim wife.

I do love him, and i know he loves me too, but I cry over this everyday, and i need advice. Please help me.
I guess you are young and naive to believe that someone who loves you can cause you so much pain. If you see some hope from what I've written above then give it your best shot. If things improve, which I pray they do inshaAllah then strive to keep the peace and tranquility in your home. If nothing has changed within six months, then seriously ask yourself if you can live like this until God knows when and lose your sanity in the meantime. Allah has not meant for us to live unhappily.

The Qur'an states: "And among His signs is that He created for you mates
from among yourselves that you may live in tranquillity with them, and
He has put love and mercy between you; Verily, in that are signs for
people who reflect." (30:21)


God forbid, your situation stays as it is, but if so, you don't need to remain in this marriage. Ask Allah sincerely for help and guidance. Remember, we are closest to Allah in the state of salah. If it isn't meant to be then pray to Allah to grant you a pious loving husband who will know where his obligations lie. Only then you will find happiness and genuine marital bliss.

Here's a link which deals with the rights/duties of a husband/wife/polygamy etc. Please read it. Knowledge is power and it will strengthen your claims to your rights as a wife. Print out relevant bits and leave them around so that your husband sees them, don't shove them in his face. Something he reads may ignite curiousity in him to learn more and get the ball rolling.

http://www.faqs.org/faqs/islam-faq/part7/


Do what you can to please Allah as a muslimah and inshaAllah in turn He will reward you with His blessings and the happiness you've never known. I wish you much joy and happiness. May Allah have mercy on you. Ameen.

:w:
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IbnAbdulHakim
05-02-2006, 06:58 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Abd'Majid
its all about suliman mulla's depression vs contentment video. WALLAHI U WILL FEEL BETTER!! WATCH IT!
seriously this video, it helps so much!!!
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Isra
05-09-2006, 03:02 AM
My husband is a practicing muslim. I learned Islam through him, before we were married and he was my boss at work. I cannot cut back on my hours at work because he owns the store and we need to pay off all of our bills before we can cut back some.

he keeps racking up more bills though. he just sent $30,000 to them so they could buy a new house, while we're still renting our house here. I talked to his other wife on the phone and I told her I was making a hijab to send her adn she said no. She said just send her a new phone.

he only sends them things because he feels bad, I know. But I feel bad too. I don't want to bother him with my complaining because I love him and I don't want him to feel stress because of me too.

He always says I'm his partner, the one person who is always by his side and understands him 100%. and I try.
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syilla
05-09-2006, 03:28 AM
B strong...

if you don't want him to divorce u...

Be the best wife...and pray to Allah that he'll be given hidayah and open his heart to change...

i know some wives... that get closer to Allah because of their irresponsible husband...Due to their patient... the husband change... to a better husband.

May Allah show u the way...
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Isra
05-17-2006, 08:11 PM
Thank you everyone who replied. You all helped me and my huband has helped me as well since I talked to him seriously about this subject. I still worry, but Allah knows best what will come to me in the future.
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Kidman
05-17-2006, 10:14 PM
You should be worried
1) he hits on other girls (from what you said earlier)
2) Seems like his other wife comes first, then you. that is unjust.
3) Your not happy

Why is his other family away? I don't know if you already answered that or not... but i'm hoping he's not just using you for his own pleasures while his other wife and family that he is so devoted to is away.

I wish the best for you, and you know the situation better than me so disregard any falseness that i might have said. But please be careful... I know people like this, they are called "players", and they are veryyy good at makin girls fall in love with them... and i hate seeing girls fall for it then getting their hearts broken. I can tell you stories about it, but i wont get into that... but ya, just be careful and make sure you are happy and treated as an equal. And tell him to stop hitting on other girls!

Kavon
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Muhammad Waqqas
05-18-2006, 03:53 AM
There is no problem, and so, no solution.

Average life span of females is more than males. A female child can fight germs and deseases more than male children. During wars, more men are killed as compared to women. And at any time, we find more widows in the world as compared to widowers.

In USA alone, therea re 7.8 Million females more than male, New York alone has one million females more than males. USA has more than 25 million gays (Qaum-e-Loot), i-e they don't want to marry women.

Suppose my sister happens to live in America, and the market is saturated, i-e every women has found a husband. And suppose my sister, or your sister happans to be one of the unlucky girls who did not find a husaband, the only option remaining to them is marry somebody who's already married or become public property! That's right, public property. Which is a better option?!? I ask you, which is a better option? But natural, to marry somebody who is already married.

Therefore, its not a problem that a man is married.

Next, you said that he loves both of you equally. Qur'an says in Surah-An-Nisa, Ch 4: Verse 3: "Marry women of your choice, two or three or four, But if you can't do justice, marry only one." Since, according to you, he dose do justice, again, I don't see anything wrong with this. Regarding Kids, that's a medical problem, what can we say about it?

You love him, great! I know he must be loving you. Men are more poligamous than women. But women think that everybody is the way they are. Since women cannot imagin of loving two people at the same time, so they think that even its impossible for their husband to love two wives at the same time, which is not true. He must be loving you, as well as his other wife. There is nothing wrong with the situation the way I see it.
Reply

Muhammad Waqqas
05-18-2006, 03:55 AM
AND YES! THERE IS NO NEED OF GETTING DIVORCED, YOU'LL BE HITTING YOUR OWN HEAD WITH THE WALL IF YOU DID SOMETHING LIKE THAT. ITS CRAZY.
Reply

Isra
05-18-2006, 12:42 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Kidman
Why is his other family away?
He left them to go to another country to work 5 years ago. I met him here.

It hurts to know that when his other wife comes here, he'll be doing all the things we do together. He's the only man I've ever been with and I want our relationship to be as special to him as it is to me, not he'll sleep in my room one night and go sleep with her the next. That kills me. I love him, but sometimes I hate that he lied to me about them. He never told me about them until I fell in love with him. There's nothing medically wrong with me tat I can't have kids. He keeps saying we're not ready to have them, that I'm too young. I'm 20.
Reply

x Maz x
05-18-2006, 12:46 PM
Aww SubhanAllah Ukhty this is a test from thy Lord...i strongly advise you to talk to your husband telling him how you feel and moreoever supplicate...Ask Allah for guidence...Keep the faith and dont let no-one get you down!..Peace be with you also x
Reply

lolwatever
05-18-2006, 09:05 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Isra
I love my husband. That is the most important thing in my life. He makes me so happy, and I never was given happiness before.

But he also is the source of my unhappiness. I'm not his only wife. he loves us both equal, but I was never raised in this situation, so I have trouble handling it.

his other wife isn't here with us, but they talk everyday. They have 2 kids together. We have none. We both work 13 hours a day in different stores and I never see any of the money becuse he sends all of it to them. He always flirts with other girls and never comes home after work, so I never see him. If I call him, he tells me to stop checking on him so much, but I just miss him.

I do love him, and i know he loves me too, but I cry over this everyday, and i need advice. Please help me.

Salam.

since you said he still loves you, figure a time you know he's free and hav a chat with him, tell him what you feel. If you notice he's like 'blah', try keep ur calm and remind him of the sisn he is recieving for flirting.

It also might give you a chance to fixup any misunderstandings that exists between yourselves, perhaps he is onlys ending money overseas because you're with him and so he can cover costs directly?

If all fails, make dua and seek Allah's help genuinely... and unless you feel that you're better off being patient with him and advising him, divorce might be an option.

keep it till last though, really divorce is very ugly and horrible.

all the best
Reply

ISDhillon
05-18-2006, 09:47 PM
If I was you I would need more focus and clarity and I feel like you need a rogerian person-centered counsellor, the first 6 sessions are free with the doctors and you can have a female if you want, trust me an impartial non-biased safe environment will help you collect your thoughts and will also allow you to cry and unlock your hidden tears.

Depression is not something to be ignored people can spend their whole lives depressed and never do anything about it, dont survive day to day, make a conscious effort to deal with it.

Good luck,:)

ISDhillon
Reply

Lateralus63
05-18-2006, 09:54 PM
You need to show it. Show him how much you really do care. Thats where the beauty lies.
Reply

Mezier
05-18-2006, 10:48 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Muhammad Waqqas
There is no problem, and so, no solution.

Average life span of females is more than males. A female child can fight germs and deseases more than male children. During wars, more men are killed as compared to women. And at any time, we find more widows in the world as compared to widowers.

In USA alone, therea re 7.8 Million females more than male, New York alone has one million females more than males. USA has more than 25 million gays (Qaum-e-Loot), i-e they don't want to marry women.

Suppose my sister happens to live in America, and the market is saturated, i-e every women has found a husband. And suppose my sister, or your sister happans to be one of the unlucky girls who did not find a husaband, the only option remaining to them is marry somebody who's already married or become public property! That's right, public property. Which is a better option?!? I ask you, which is a better option? But natural, to marry somebody who is already married.

Therefore, its not a problem that a man is married.

Next, you said that he loves both of you equally. Qur'an says in Surah-An-Nisa, Ch 4: Verse 3: "Marry women of your choice, two or three or four, But if you can't do justice, marry only one." Since, according to you, he dose do justice, again, I don't see anything wrong with this. Regarding Kids, that's a medical problem, what can we say about it?

You love him, great! I know he must be loving you. Men are more poligamous than women. But women think that everybody is the way they are. Since women cannot imagin of loving two people at the same time, so they think that even its impossible for their husband to love two wives at the same time, which is not true. He must be loving you, as well as his other wife. There is nothing wrong with the situation the way I see it.
:sl:
I see alot of problems with what you just wrote...I dont agree with half of what you said................................:heated:
"There is no problem?" Of course there is:
1) She cries everyday
2) She works 13 hours a day (even though she has EVERY right to stay at home) which is obviously going to be spent on her husband..but she does this out of love; that means that her husband is only supporting his other wife financially (he is NOT just with his wives)
3) Even after this he goes and flirts with other girls

format_quote Originally Posted by Muhammad Waqqas
But women think that everybody is the way they are
Very stereotypical. I am not judging you, but a Muslim in this day and age should be the last to stereotype.
format_quote Originally Posted by Muhammad Waqqas
its impossible for their husband to love two wives at the same time, which is not true
Even though the Prophet (saws) treated all of his wives justly and equally, he still prayed to Allah because he could not control his heart. He loved Aishah (ra) more.
format_quote Originally Posted by Muhammad Waqqas
There is nothing wrong with the situation the way I see it.
Well the way you see it is wrong brother.
Do not get offended, but your post came off as very cold and impersonal :(
:w:
Reply

Mezier
05-18-2006, 10:54 PM
:sl:
Now for some advice to sister Isra.
Sister, whatever I say will not change the feelings you have towards him. Love is a very VERY strong emotion. But this emotion (like others) will be destroyed if the problems are not fixed.

Best way is to talk to him. And YES it is easier said then done. Talking is one of the hardest parts of a relationship if the married couple does not know how to go about with it; however, it is also the MOST effective technique you can use to resolve problems.

Other than that, I wish I could help you. If anything new comes to my mind I will post it here Inshallah. You will be in my duas :)

:w:
Reply

Muhammad Waqqas
05-19-2006, 01:08 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Mezier
:sl:
I see alot of problems with what you just wrote...I dont agree with half of what you said................................:heated:
"There is no problem?" Of course there is:
1) She cries everyday
2) She works 13 hours a day (even though she has EVERY right to stay at home) which is obviously going to be spent on her husband..but she does this out of love; that means that her husband is only supporting his other wife financially (he is NOT just with his wives)
3) Even after this he goes and flirts with other girls
You didn't get me brother, you're seeing the post from another perspective.

When I said "There is no problem." Then I meant 'no problem to be worried about.' If she cries everyday, that dosen't mean there needs to be a real problem. For example, suppose, for example, I cry everyday, that my parents are very harsh on me for they want me to work hard at school (just an example), and believe me, I really used to cry on this a few years ago. But now I know, its not something to cry on, its actually normal. This is what I meant by that.

"..She dose this out of love..." Why?!? When she knows its not her job to earn, then why dose she work? She won't die of hunger, believe me. Its my garuntee to you. Because Allah is the "Raaziq" and he has taken the responsability of providing "Rizq" to everybody.

"that means that her husband is only supporting his other wife financially (he is NOT just with his wives)"

You know today in the world, there are thousands of cases pending for women protesting against their husbands. And the worst thing happans when some silly people like us start to take side of those women, and start to assume that the man (her husband) is an animal and has no feelings. Mosly when women explain their problems, the also add unrealistic stuff (I have some experience that's why I am saying so, I'm not reffering to our sister's problem here.) they add unrealistic stuff which dosen't actually exist, plus it also contradicts themselves.

The sister said that he loves both of his wives equally. Now, why should a man who loves two ladies equally be unjust with them? We actually haven't seen the situation, and have not heard a single word from the husband, and are thinking that the solution we will find will be completly perfect, if not, atleast really good for her.

Is her husband and animal?!? NO! What if he gives his salery to the other wife because she cannot earn anything? Why do we always assume the other person to be completely wrong. We should not do this.

Next, what if its not possible for him to support both the families togather? And if she is helping him, isen't she also doing the right thing?

You know, I know of a girl, who when ever got herself in a fight with her spouse came running to her friends and told them how bad he was. And they were all perfectly convienced that he is a bad man, and she is very innocent (because they had not heard anything from him). And at once, even her freinds asked her to leave him. Later, one of them went to fight with that guy as to why dose he hurt her. Believe me, I know the boy personally, he even used to cry for her, that what should he do to solve the issue.

A man has already got two wives, and is facing difficulty in supporting his wifves, why would he flirt with women? Plus he is a muslim Alahmdulilah. He must have his own list of problems. And they might also be concerning her. Therefore making an image of the situation and finding out a solution is completly rediculous.

Even though the Prophet (saws) treated all of his wives justly and equally, he still prayed to Allah because he could not control his heart. He loved Aishah (ra) more.
She wrote in her post her self that he loves both of them equally.

Well the way you see it is wrong brother.
Do not get offended, but your post came off as very cold and impersonal :(
:w:
Because you know, its impossible to think that the husband is a crazy person and has no feelings. Obviously he is married now. He has two wives he will have too much burden, how can he even find the time to flirt with other women. OK I don't assume he dosen't but again, we don't know his arugments, if we listen to him, i'm sure we'll be convienced to him as well.
Reply

Mezier
05-19-2006, 02:23 AM
:sl:
Brother, fair reply. We do not know the husband's arguements. From Isra's post: he does comfort her after she cries. But we dont know whether or not he is really a bad person.

So what I did was give sister Isra a little support, comfort her because from what she says, she is very unhappy. You are right, I may not know the entire story...but what I know is that I like to show empathy. And thats what I did. You might have sat there and seen her post as some sort of emotional outlet (which it is) but thats all you saw (judgding from your post). You made it look like she was totally wrong (which we do not know for sure); thats why I said your post sounded cold and impersonal.

I will stop here since I do not want to pollute this thread anymore :(
:w:
Reply

Muhammad Waqqas
05-19-2006, 02:47 AM
There is something wrong with this thread :S
Reply

Muhammad Waqqas
05-19-2006, 02:54 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Mezier
:sl:
Brother, fair reply. We do not know the husband's arguements. From Isra's post: he does comfort her after she cries. But we dont know whether or not he is really a bad person.

So what I did was give sister Isra a little support, comfort her because from what she says, she is very unhappy. You are right, I may not know the entire story...but what I know is that I like to show empathy. And thats what I did. You might have sat there and seen her post as some sort of emotional outlet (which it is) but thats all you saw (judgding from your post). You made it look like she was totally wrong (which we do not know for sure); thats why I said your post sounded cold and impersonal.

I will stop here since I do not want to pollute this thread anymore :(
:w:
Comforting and giving a bit support to her is alright, but we must be sure that we are not blindly taking someone's side while supporting him or her. She may not get this feeling from our behaviour that she has no mistake and her husband is completely wrong. While supporting her, we need to make her realize that there needs to be something wrong from her side, and something from the husband's side. First of all, we need to fix our own problems. What are the things that her husband dosen't like in her? Etc. And we know its not possible that there is "NO" such thing. There has to be many of them. Once such problems are fixed, then we should wait to see if she feels satisfied or not.

While supporting her, we have to make her realize that the situation is not that much bad as she think it is. And that is my point.

Secondly, we are not polluting the thread. We, too, are searching for a solutio for sister Isra.
Reply

babagrr
05-19-2006, 09:35 AM
Assallaamu alykum

If he (flirts) with other females, how do you come to the conclusion that he loves you?

That shows that he doesn't respect the Last Cermon that was given by our beloved Prophet, when he said that women are only a trust (amaanat) from Allah and that they do not belong to us.
****
There is no power in evil. It is nothing; therefore can only come to nothing.
Reply

SirZubair
05-19-2006, 09:43 AM
Tell him to sort his act otherwise you'll walk out the door.

if he doesnt sort out his act,he doesnt love you as much as he says he loves you.

Because if you love someone or something,you will do everything and anything in your power to make that person or thing satisfied.

So for your sake sis,i hope he does sort his act out,because it sounds like you truly madly love him,otherwise you wouldnt make excuses for his behavior.

May allah s.w.t give you both happiness and increase your iman.

wa'salaam.
Reply

anonymous
05-22-2006, 02:44 PM
:sl:

first of all i've done nothing in islamic education, tried hifz, gave it up
second, i'm not great at sport, always wanted to be a football, never got there, never will
thirdly, in college education doing average, not excelling, not enough to get the best jobs that I want
fourth, i've done not much in terms of praying salaah and things

all in all, I've lived all these years, nothing to show for it, nothing working out.

sucks to be me....
Reply

IceQueen~
05-22-2006, 02:48 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
:sl:

first of all i've done nothing in islamic education, tried hifz, gave it up
second, i'm not great at sport, always wanted to be a football, never got there, never will
thirdly, in college education doing average, not excelling, not enough to get the best jobs that I want
fourth, i've done not much in terms of praying salaah and things

all in all, I've lived all these years, nothing to show for it, nothing working out.

sucks to be me....
hey calm down bro/sis. remember that if u work for islam it may be hard but it's the best thing u can do for urself in life. if u are successful in islam u are eternally successful-in the akhirah when whatever you will receive is eternal...dunno about waht you think, but i think that's most important.
mah Allah guide you and keep you guided, ameen.
Reply

Ghazi
05-22-2006, 02:50 PM
^Ameen, What's this dunya but a short time, The one who enters janna is succesful.
Reply

Protected_Diamond
05-22-2006, 02:57 PM
:sl: brother/sister

True success comes with the deen Al-Islam, so insha Allah if you can try and pray salaah regularly with full concentration. Allah s.w.a will come running to you and help you insha' Allah. You've still got time left to be a hafiz or a true mumin insha' Allah! Don't let the shaytaan decieve you in thinking you're useless and haven't achieved nothing. Turn to Allah s.w.a because he's the one who can help you!

All the best...

:w:
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anonymous
05-22-2006, 03:06 PM
:sl:

it doesn't seem like things will work out, every career i want, is out of reach, be it grades, talent, or *insert factor here*, becoming aalim/mufti comes with complications (family). quite frankly, i don't see a way past this.

this life may be short, but there is nothing to say we can't aim to be successes in this world as well as the hereafter is there?
Reply

Ghazi
05-22-2006, 03:08 PM
:sl:

this life may be short, but there is nothing to say we can't aim to be successes in this world as well as the hereafter is there?
A sheik once told me this, "who chases the dunya the dunya will run from him, and who disires the hearafter the dunya will come to him"
Reply

glo
05-22-2006, 03:10 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
:sl:

first of all i've done nothing in islamic education, tried hifz, gave it up
second, i'm not great at sport, always wanted to be a football, never got there, never will
thirdly, in college education doing average, not excelling, not enough to get the best jobs that I want
fourth, i've done not much in terms of praying salaah and things

all in all, I've lived all these years, nothing to show for it, nothing working out.

sucks to be me....
Don't be too hard on yourself, anonymous!
We all feel like that sometimes. We (and others) expect much from us, and - human as we are - we don't always come up with the goods! :rollseyes

Sometimes, the harder we try to please God, the more we miss what he is trying to tell us! It may be that God has very different plans for you; it may be that your purpose in life does not require being sporty, or academic!
Ask God to reveal what plans he has for you and what gifts he has given you to fulfill them!

This passage speaks about people who may be ill equipped to spread God's message. It is meant for Christians, but you may find it helpful nonetheless:
"Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong." (I Corinthians 1:26-27)

I hope you find peace in God. :)
Reply

Protected_Diamond
05-22-2006, 03:10 PM
:sl:

Trust Allah s.w.a and like i said before turn completely to Allah s.w.a. When you make a dua try your best to cry a bit and if you can pray during the night when everyone is asleep. Allah s.w.a loves those whom sacrifice they sleep for him. A degree in life isn't essential, you can be someone really special without a degree. In my view, a degree makes you have pride in yourself which isn't allowed in islam but im not discouraging you from aspiring to professional careers. Just do your best in life and please Allah s.w.a.

One more point i would like to make is sometimes Allah s.w.a doesn't give us something because he knows whats best for us, so don't just look at it from a negative perspective.

Sorry if my advice isn't helping you

:w:
Reply

akulion
05-22-2006, 03:10 PM
serve ur parents

be good to ur neighbours and people in general

do small kindnesses

fulfil your obligations towards deen

and thank Allah swt for everything

Every little bit helps - so even if the small kindnesses and good deeds you do may not see much to you - they may please Allah swt greatly :)
Reply

Rabi'ya
05-22-2006, 03:12 PM
:sl: sister/brother

I feel you need to concentrate on what you have achieved rather than what you havent.

You say youve tried hifz, althought u gave it up this is surely an achievment in itself. You must have learnt a lot of knowledge even if its not much - its more than some others. I myself wish i could read arabic, and despite trying to learn i still cant accomplish it...see you've achieved something more than me.!!

Keep on doing the good things that yu are currently doing, and slowly try to implement other things that help you to feel like uve achieved somethings. Keep up with ur salaah...spend slightly more time reading Quraan.

Keep on studying!! who cares if u cant get the BEST job - what is the BEST job anyway? the one with the most money? or the one with more satsfaction?

stand back, make a list of good things, and things to concentrate on. take them one at a time and slowly u will ACHEIVE a lot more than you already are achieving :)

May Allah continue to guide you and bless you....ameen

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
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anonymous
05-22-2006, 03:15 PM
jazakallah for all the advice

i seem to be complaining alot, but its just the fact that i have no good attributes and traits..be they

social
sporting
academic
religious knowledge

i don't want to have lived this life in mediocrity, both islamically, physically, and academically

i always wanted to be a hafiz, aalim, mufti....the works, as well as having a degree in maths/engineering/something science related in the health profession

oh well, if its meant to be
Reply

Rabi'ya
05-22-2006, 03:19 PM
:sl:

these things do not come without work. If you sit back and do nothing you will achieve nothing.

If you make a little effort, Allah will help you and inshAllah things will become easier for you.

Look at your life, sort out what you want to change or where you wants to start, and take it slowly, one stepo at a time.

You can do it!!!InshAllah

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
Reply

Sohrab
05-24-2006, 03:36 PM
Try the book "seven habits of Highly effective people" by Stephen R. Covey. Sometimes we all need to think differently.
Reply

hidden_treasure
05-27-2006, 01:43 PM
assalamu alaikum,

Firstly..Allah loves you, as He is the one who blessed you with Islam.
I am sure u have many good things about you. Try writing a list about the positives instead of the negatives.

I am in a similar situation, education wise. Now i am a muslimah, and i wish that i had done something halal that i could be doing today (work wise).

I have wasted a lot of time as well.

However i am not going to give up on myself, i am going to remain positive insha Allah....so pls dont despair...ask Allah to help you, as this seems like the whispers of shayateen. (a'uthu billah)

May Allah make it easy for you dear sis/bro in Islam...and a failure is what you are not !
Reply

scentsofjannah
05-27-2006, 01:51 PM
:sl:

its best to have a postive attitude..never give up hope..trust in Allah and 100% your situtation will change for the better..if you continue to worry unnecessarily that will only be harmful to yourself.May ease your hardships and give you ease ameen.
Reply

Sohrab
05-27-2006, 04:59 PM
so, indeed with every hardship there's ease. surely, with every hardship there's ease.
Reply

seeker_of_ilm
05-27-2006, 05:44 PM
:sl:

I've felt like that. And I'm pretty sure this is all brought on by a lack of effort on your part. Sorry to be frank, but whatever you haven't achieved, its a result of your own laziness. I'm speaking from experience. Nothing in this world that worth having comes easy. Complaining on this board, while you may gain advice from it, its not going to ultimately help you become a hafiz, and whatever else you want. You control your own destiny, you have free will, let your choices be in your best interest. Work hard for your goal, put the effort, and reap the benefits. And if you don't achieve EVERYTHING you want, at least you can say you've tried, and noone can ask anything more of you.

Just work hard! Impossible is nothing
Reply

Woodrow
05-27-2006, 06:50 PM
Way back when I was just a toddler, Somebody, I think it was my Grandfather, took me to the horse trough and had me stick my hand in the water. He then told me that no matter how big a person's hand may become, we will all leave the same size hole in the water.

I spent most of my life trying to prove he was wrong and my intent was to leave a gigantic noticable hole.

It took me my lifetime to discover, that no matter what my actions and achievement were, they would be no more important or earth shaking then the actions of any other persons.

Doing good is of equal value, when we do it with full intent and without desire for recognition. We each have something good to contribute and it is only important we do the best according to our abilities.

We are not going to be judged on the goals we have accomplished, we are going to be judged on how and why we accomplished those goals.

Some people that seemingly have done nothing, may be the very people that did the most.

Don't try to measure the value of what you or others accomplish by the size of a hole left in a bucket of water.
Reply

scentsofjannah
05-27-2006, 07:45 PM
:sl:

InshaAllah listen to this brother Depression vs Contentment by Sulaiman Mullah

http://www.saleel.com/search.php?que...ll&mode=search
Reply

scentsofjannah
05-27-2006, 07:46 PM
brother how about volunteering..? ever tried that? I'm sure you'll get great benefit from that :)
Reply

anonymous
05-29-2006, 04:30 PM
:sl:

can people help me achieve my goals? a small plan, as i am having difficulty seeing how i will achieve everything. i'm a student of 16, want to become a haffiz, aaalim, and perhaps even mufti, but also i want to become something like a doctor, or engineer or work in scientific research.

i live in the uk

any rough help would be good
Reply

Woodrow
05-29-2006, 04:53 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
:sl:

can people help me achieve my goals? a small plan, as i am having difficulty seeing how i will achieve everything. i'm a student of 16, want to become a haffiz, aaalim, and perhaps even mufti, but also i want to become something like a doctor, or engineer or work in scientific research.

i live in the uk

any rough help would be good
The most difficult thing to do is establish real goals. Nearly everybody I have ever met did not have any true goals, they just had what they thought other people told them were goals. Starnge thing is at a very early age about say the year before we started talk, was the first time we had a real goal. We had only one goal and that was to be comfortable. We did not need any possessions, we just needed to be warm, fed, kept dry, and held.

Within a very short time we saw things we wanted then we began having material goals, we wanted to possess everything we saw and could touch. In fact we believed everything was our possession. then we had just one goal, to retain possession of our possessions.

Then as we were exposed to more of the world, our goal was to physicaly do things. We wanted to do things that were fun, brought joy and were able to hold our interest.

It seems that most people stagnate and grow no further in goals. They learn to measure success in possessions. The excitement of there lives etc.

Now, they reach the idea of a goal becoming a status symbol, a title or impression, proof of ability. Never knowing that there is more and sometimes more requires less.

Getting back to you. As old fashioned as this may sound. The best guide for learning a bonafide goal is to Make Du'a about it. Allah(swt) knows exactly what is the best goal for you. Make Du'a and look for answers along these lines, what do you like, what things do you excell at, what are your true needs. Identify them. Then ask Allah to guide you in future choices that can fullfill these things.

People don't like to believe that prayer workd, it seems too simple. But, it is the best and most powerfull force we will experience.
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Hijaabi22
05-29-2006, 05:58 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
:sl:

first of all i've done nothing in islamic education, tried hifz, gave it up
second, i'm not great at sport, always wanted to be a football, never got there, never will
thirdly, in college education doing average, not excelling, not enough to get the best jobs that I want
fourth, i've done not much in terms of praying salaah and things

all in all, I've lived all these years, nothing to show for it, nothing working out.

sucks to be me....
hmmmmmmmm sounds like me a bit
Reply

Woodrow
05-29-2006, 06:06 PM
I wonder exactly what is meant by achievement? I wonder if it can be held onto if attained. I know it is not anything material.

I worked basicaly my entire life, retired, thought I had achieved all I ever needed. House all paid for, a nice farm to settle back on, even my own fishing pond. Then 3 years ago my wife died. Two years ago I lost every possession I owned. I was homeless with no more then the clothes I was wearing.

I still own nothing except for my self respect and my love for Allah(swt). I believe this is the first time in my life I have truly achieved anything.
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Skillganon
05-29-2006, 11:33 PM
Thank's for that uncle woody. It surely has made me think.
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broth3r Ali
05-30-2006, 01:14 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
:sl:

first of all i've done nothing in islamic education, tried hifz, gave it up
second, i'm not great at sport, always wanted to be a football, never got there, never will
thirdly, in college education doing average, not excelling, not enough to get the best jobs that I want
fourth, i've done not much in terms of praying salaah and things

all in all, I've lived all these years, nothing to show for it, nothing working out.

sucks to be me....
salaam! all in all i bet theres people around you who wish they were in your shoes :) dont be so harsh on yourself!! no pain, no gain! have faith in Allah swt and c'mon be determined man :thumbs_up
ws
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Iconoclast
05-30-2006, 01:36 AM
:sl:
reminds me of a hadith i heard
__________________________________________________ ____
once Syedna Moosa ( Kalimullah) ASWS was on his way to speak to Almighty Allah SWT and on his way he met a man with a question for him asking him to ask of allah that the almighty has given him a lot of wealth and it is more that he can handle and then another man with just a leaf around his waste he asked Moosa ASWS to ask allah why he was in that shape of life.
so after the conversation with allah he asked the 2 q?s
Allah said to the 1st man say to stop as-sukr ( being thankful ) for the wealth and it will stop, to the man with the leaf he asked him to say alhamuillah. moosa gave the answer on his way down to the 1st and then he went on the meet the second and asked him to be thankful towards Allah , the man said Yjamkfull ? for what? for this leaf?
then there blew a wind and took away the leaf too.

what we learn from the above is to be thankfull no matter ..i repeat NO MATTER WHAT towards Allah in any condition and as difficult it may sound to u now but trust allah and u will find peace. INSHALLAH

:w:
:brother:
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Snowflake
05-31-2006, 12:32 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
:sl:

first of all i've done nothing in islamic education, tried hifz, gave it up
second, i'm not great at sport, always wanted to be a football, never got there, never will
thirdly, in college education doing average, not excelling, not enough to get the best jobs that I want
fourth, i've done not much in terms of praying salaah and things

all in all, I've lived all these years, nothing to show for it, nothing working out.

sucks to be me....
Salam Anonymous,

Are you sure you have nothing to show for all these years you've lived? : )

You don't know that Anonymous. Small/big acts of kindness that you may have shown towards others, may be worth much more in Allah's eyes than things you could've done to show the world. Something you said or did, may have had such a positive influence on someone's life that it had changed for the better.

You havent frittered away time aimlessly. You haven't lost opportunities. You've tried to do what you could as best as your capabilities allowed. How can you say you havent achieved nothing? You've tried. That alone is an admirable quality. And that is more than can be said for many many people out there.

Above all, you haven't let life pass by without asking yourself what you've achieved. It's never too late. Like every other person you have your strengths and weaknesses. You just have to find yourself Anon. Hopefully you will find something you are better at than others. And you will achieve what you set out to do. Because you're not of one them people who give up without even having tried. See how good that is?

Sometimes Anon. we achieve something not by doing something. Like not hurting others, not backbiting, not intending to cause harm and malice, not falling into other sins. By not doing these things we're achieving so much inshaAllah. So don't worry Anon, if you don't end up with big house, a fancy car or a huge salary. As long as you earn/provide halal rizak and do your best to live your life as Allah wants, you will have achieved much much more than those who possess these things inshaAllah. Continue trying to pray salah and fulfilling other obligatory duties. Do you know there is so much reward even in trying to do something for the sake of Allah?

So chin up Anon! All will be well inshaAllah.

wa'salam.
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samobosna96
05-31-2006, 12:54 AM
inshallah i hope Allah SWT guides you and helps you in your deen. the only thing i would worry about first is the salat, work on the salat and everything else will become easier. i dont want to lecture you because most of us have issues in our deen but from what i read that is the main issue. take care inshallah may allah SWT reward you.......
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Dhulqarnaeen
06-03-2006, 05:00 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
:sl:

first of all i've done nothing in islamic education, tried hifz, gave it up
second, i'm not great at sport, always wanted to be a football, never got there, never will
thirdly, in college education doing average, not excelling, not enough to get the best jobs that I want
fourth, i've done not much in terms of praying salaah and things

all in all, I've lived all these years, nothing to show for it, nothing working out.

sucks to be me....
:sl:
Bro -hafidhakallah- Dont burden your self too much. Clean your heart, dont get jealous to what another people have.
Dont you hear what ulama said: "we should see who is below us if talking about dunya, and we should see someone above us if talking about akheerah". What does it means? It means if you see someone who have a happier life than you, then dont get jealous to what they get. Hey...everybody have their own livelihood, their own fortune right. It will just make you more and more jealous and sometimes it will bring you to sins. But you should see that there are still so many person whose life are below us. If you ever done hifz, then a lot of muslims who are careless about their hifz and even they dont care that they cant read Quran, then that means youre luckier than them. And if you cant do sport well, then you should see that those people who dont have legs to do sport. And if you got average in your college then you are lucky cause a lot of people want to study in a college but they dont have money. Or maybe dropped out from the college cause some mistakes and ended in missery. So you are still luckier than them. And about salah, still youre so so lucky masha Allah cause a lot of people who claim that theyre muslims but they dont do salah anymore, and dont have attention about it, astaghfirullah. They just dont know that by leaving salah wajib even once that can make them kafeer. Cause Rasulullah said: "a line taht separate muslims and kafeer is salah, so whoever leave salah then they be kafeer". So youre so so lucky bro cause you still have attention to make your salah. And no no youre not forced to do alll of the salah except 5 times salah right cause its wajeeb. Just do the wajeeb salah first, 5 times, and istiqomah and sabr while doing it. And step by step you can add it with salah sunnah if you feel like it. If we can do this, seeing below us for our dunya bussiness then we will always be someone who always thankfull to our Lord, Allah subhanahu wa Ta'ala. And you will say "actually there are a lot of people who is not as lucky as me, masha Allah". And if we talk about akheerat then we should see them, who have passed away since the companions salafus shalih, and then the peple after them, and then the scholars. learn from their biography, how was their spirit seeking knowledge. How was their spirit in jihad. How was tyheir spirit in doing sunnah of Rasulullah. How was their spirit to wake up all night to pray qiyamul lail, and then you will tell your self " I want to be like them. Where am I if compared with them?", so it will make us have more spirit to do more ibadah. And to do more ibadah need knowledge of course right, so it will encourage us also to seek knowledge more. And bro...we are created just to worship Allah, and leave everything that guide us to something beside Allah. We life not to show off. And the successfull not seen from the wealth we have, and not seen from our appearances, not seen from our degree, but our success will be seen by the end of our life, will it be in husnul khatimah or su'ul khatimah. And if you can die in husnul khatimah then you will considered SUCCESS :brother: . Cause this life is just short and just will ended up into two places, heaven or hell. No other third. And these are advices if you want to die in husnul khatimah:
1. Dont you ever do syirk, small syirk or big syirk.
2. Dont you ever leave salah wajib.
3. Obey your parents and never talk louder to them.
4. Seek knowledge cause Rasulullah said "seeking knowledge is a must for every muslims". Cause by seeking good knowledge (this knowledge is knowledge about Islam and not about knowledge of dunya) we can separate which is tauhid and which is syirk, and which is sunnah and which is bid'ah, which is haq and which is batil.
5. Leave something that can waste your time: too much playing games, fooling around with friends, hearing music and its haram for muslim to hear music, cause Rasulullah said: "there will be one of my people who will allow zina, khamr and music". And Ibn Qoyyim said music can bring munafiqun to our heart, and make us to busy to remember Allah. And it can bring su'ul khatimah. Theres some story of suul khatimah of some people whose hobby is listening music. Wal iyadhubillah.
6. Avoid maksiyat as best as you can, and low your gaze to women.
7. Gathering with good friends, salihin wa muttaqien. And especially ahlul ilmi.
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ume kalthum2
06-05-2006, 07:57 PM
:grumbling Dose any one know a site were i can ask any questions and get good answers from people upon quran and sunnah only.
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MusLiM 4 LiFe
06-05-2006, 07:58 PM
hey sis try

http://www.islamicfinder.org/
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ume kalthum2
06-06-2006, 08:34 AM
Jazakalllah khare may allah reward you jannah (ameen
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- Qatada -
06-06-2006, 01:35 PM
:salamext:


You might be registered there already, but:

www.uponsunnah.com


:wasalamex
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ahmed baker
06-06-2006, 02:31 PM
Salam,

Sorry brother iqnore these above sites, these where put in by my stupid friend.
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ahmed baker
06-06-2006, 02:36 PM
Salam

I am different user, as i brother i would also sujjest you the translation of the Qur' an read it Insha-Allah, Wallahi brother currentlty i am going through huge problems and fitnah after reading some verses of the qur' an it helps me and also make dua to Allah.

Try to visit some relaible sheikh for advise and help.

currently i am also taking this procedure

Make dua for me brother and for All.

Wassalam
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DaNgErOuS MiNdS
06-06-2006, 03:09 PM
Thread tittle says you need someone to speak to, im sure the sisters here will be more then willing to do so and as for the site yuo can try the ones already mentioned or http://www.islamonline.net/English/index.shtml try this
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amirah_87
06-06-2006, 03:20 PM
i know.... hijra.net ....

it's not about hijra only!!
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Muhammad
06-06-2006, 09:29 PM
:sl:

Try:

http://www.islamqa.com/

http://www.islamonline.net/english/index.shtml

www.islamtoday.com
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Daffodil
06-09-2006, 11:31 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ume kalthum2
:grumbling Dose any one know a site were i can ask any questions and get good answers from people upon quran and sunnah only.
Asalamulaikum

Islam question and answer is very gud.

http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng
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ume kalthum2
06-10-2006, 06:35 PM
thank you all very much
Reply

AnonymousPoster
06-11-2006, 05:33 PM
Salam brothers and sisters i am really sad :(
I am upset because of our Ummah, muslims themselves are being in denial most are going astray i know that people should worry for themself like i have been told but it really makes me sad! I am upset when i try to preach sisters but all i get is the cold shoulder or just nothing from them they say Insh`Allah i change but they never :(
I am so sad and feel like crying when i think about all the muslims that are suffering around the world! Why isnt our Ummah strong we know the future we know what is going to happen why are muslims denying the word of Allah swt why are they so naive to think they will live forever?
I am sad that i cant wear my niqab in this country because of University policy :(
I am so very sad i make Dua to Allah swt i wish i could do more this is really upsetting brothers and sisters
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Ghazi
06-11-2006, 05:36 PM
:sl:

Mash'Allah sis those feelings are from a good level of iman I wish you the best, find good pious sisters and befriend them and continue to spread the word of allah to those who neglect their deen may allah reward you sis.
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afriend
06-11-2006, 05:40 PM
And I suppose that you are living in Turkey?

I have heard of this...and if you want an education and practice your religion at the same time, then you must emmigrate for the Sake of Allah...

Allah says in the Quraan, chapter number 5, verse number 100:

"And whoever emigrates for the sake of Allah will find on Earth many dwelling places and plenty to live by. And whoever leaves his home as an emigrant unto Allah and his Messenger (SAW) and death over takes him, his reward is Surely incumbent upon Allah. And Allah is most forgiving, most merciful" :)
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AnonymousPoster
06-11-2006, 05:43 PM
Salam brothers iqram i wish i could :( I live in England i cant immigrate because my whole family lives in England i am 18 years old they will not let me marry now and i cant leave even though i would love too.
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afriend
06-11-2006, 05:44 PM
Do you HAVE to go to that uni?

If you live in London, there are many Diverse Unis down here, especially in East London.
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youngsister
06-11-2006, 05:46 PM
Brother i am not in Uni yet i will apply soon but many sisters dont get in especially those with the niqab :(
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The Ruler
06-11-2006, 05:48 PM
:sl:

id do anything to help u sis....i understand ur peoblems and i think that the best thing to do now is focus on ur studies and urself....in skul i tried to tell my friend too but she acted lyk a total wimp n i go forgeddit....i dnt really care....she makes me steam up sumtyms n i do n start givin sarcastic comments dat i kno hurt a lot but oh well....i dnt really care bout er anyway....but i do plan to do loads for islam insha'allah when i have the capability in the future :)

:w:
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bint_muhammed
06-11-2006, 11:18 PM
the thing is i know where you are coming from, but dont get all emotional about it as i know you sometimes want too, however try to be stronger and remember to never give up! good luck!
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Re.TiReD
06-12-2006, 01:08 PM
:sl: sister, i know how you're feeling as i too, feel the same way. i go to a Muslim college, all girls and an Islamic dress code. yet i feel that there is so much fitnah at college and the fact that upsets me is that dawah should be easy in such a place but its quite the opposite :heated:

this is my opinion...if you get the cold shoulder when you try to preach to the sisters you've got to remember that you've done your duty in trying to guide them. the rest is up to Allah swt. He will guide them when the time is right Insha'Allah.

the only thing for you to do now is concentrate on your deen and keep your Imaan high :sister: hope that helps :w:
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...
06-12-2006, 01:14 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
Salam brothers iqram i wish i could :( I live in England i cant immigrate because my whole family lives in England i am 18 years old they will not let me marry now and i cant leave even though i would love too.
Pray to Allah and have patience. Then surely He will do for you what is best inshallah.
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afriend
06-12-2006, 07:10 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by youngsister
Brother i am not in Uni yet i will apply soon but many sisters dont get in especially those with the niqab :(
Ohhh.....well, I mean that's not the case for EVERY uni now is it??
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- Qatada -
06-12-2006, 07:13 PM
:salamext:


Why Have They Been Called "Strangers"?

Allah says in the Qur’an,

"If only there had been, in the generations preceding you, people having wisdom, prohibiting others from evil in the earth; except a few of those whom we have saved from among them." (Qur'an Hud 116).

This verse speaks of the few people on earth, the "strangers", who prohibit mankind from evil. These are the same people the Prophet (saws) spoke about when he said,

"Islam began as something strange, and it shall return to being something strange, so give glad tidings [ar. Tooba. This is a tree in Paradise. So the Prophet (saws) is giving the good news of Paradise to these strangers.] to the strangers." It was asked, "Who are those strangers, O Messenger of Allah?" He replied, "Those that correct the people when they become corrupt." [Reported by Abu Amr al-Dani, from the hadith of ibn Masoud. It is authentic according to al-Albani. Another narration says, "Those that correct my Sunnah which has been corrupted by the people after me."

In another narration he said in response to the same question,

"They are a small group of people among a large evil population. Those who oppose them are more than those who follow them." [Reported by ibn Asaakir. It is authentic according to al-Albani.]


These praiseworthy people are called strangers since they are a small minority among mankind. Thus, Muslims are strangers among mankind; the true believers are strangers among Muslims; and the scholars are strangers among the true believers. And the followers of the Sunnah, those that clear themselves from all peoples of innovation, are likewise strangers.

In reality, however, their strangeness is only because they are the minority and it is not because their actions and beliefs are strange. This is what Allah says in surah al-Anaam,

"And if you obey most of the people on Earth, they will lead you astray" (Qur'an al-Anaam 116).

Allah also says,

"And most of mankind will not believe, even if you (O Muhammad) desire it eagerly" (Qur'an Yusuf 103);

"And truly, most of mankind are rebellious and disobedient (to Allah)." (Qur'an al-Maidah 49)

"But nay, most of mankind are ungrateful" (Qur'an Yusuf 38).


Therefore, Allah, the All-Knowing Creator, knows the most of mankind will not follow the truth. Instead, only a small group of people will be set apart that truly and correctly believe in Him, the strangers from among mankind.

continued:
http://www.islamicboard.com/basics-i...hlight=ghuraba
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Woodrow
06-12-2006, 07:25 PM
Asalaamu Alaikum Uhkti,
Sometimes when our prayers are answere, we do not relise it because it is not what we expected.

Perhaps, there is a reason that the Unis you seem to want to attend are not the ones for you. Perhaps, there is a reason you are being directed to seek a Uni where you may wear the Hijab. Perhaps, that is what you need to find to discover the tools that are best for your de'en.
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DAWUD_adnan
06-12-2006, 07:33 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
Salam brothers and sisters i am really sad :(
I am upset because of our Ummah, muslims themselves are being in denial most are going astray i know that people should worry for themself like i have been told but it really makes me sad! I am upset when i try to preach sisters but all i get is the cold shoulder or just nothing from them they say Insh`Allah i change but they never :(
I am so sad and feel like crying when i think about all the muslims that are suffering around the world! Why isnt our Ummah strong we know the future we know what is going to happen why are muslims denying the word of Allah swt why are they so naive to think they will live forever?
I am sad that i cant wear my niqab in this country because of University policy :(
I am so very sad i make Dua to Allah swt i wish i could do more this is really upsetting brothers and sisters


:sl:
one thing be patient think about the future, for ''everything in the heavens and on earth and all in between shall disapeare but forever shall abide the Face of thy lord Full of Honour and Majesty''
Ah! Allah said it perfect indeed!!!:w: :thankyou:
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Dhulqarnaeen
06-13-2006, 08:05 AM
:sl:
Bro and sis... Allah will not burden His slave more than their ability. Im sure all muslim feel sad about the reality of this ummah, but dont you ever read hadith that said "If you see one denial, use ur hand to fix it, if you cant then use your tongue (words) and if you still cant then by heart and its the weakest iman". So...do we can change this ummah with our hands? "hands" in this hadith means power and its addressed for the shulton (leader). Do we have power? No, we just usual muslim. Do we can fix this ummah with our words? No...its Ulama who have to do the job cause theyre the one who have capability to do this. So what we should do? All we can do for now is pray and study Islam more. And while doing it we can do self introspection and clean our self from deviate activities. Cause not all muslims may talk about Islam, and make a decision about haram and halal. Only them who have strength in knowledge who able to do this.
This dien, ISLAM is so so wide in knowledge. And to do our obligatory in Islam is so easy, cause Islam is easy and light, and it cant be burden for a good muslim. But to spread Islam and dawa is so hard and full with obstacles, so someone who want to do dawah then they must have enough knowledge with the right understanding too. So every muslim must study and study and study if they really care for this ummah. So they can have ability to do dawah, and to do the tashfiyah (purification) in this dien. With a good knowledge according Al Qur'an and sunnah on the right glorious path of salafus shalih we can help do da'wah to this ummah, step by step so the ummah have ability to separate which is syirk and which is Tauhid, they can separate sunnah and bid'ah, so Islam will be back to the original way just like when Rasulullah shalallahu alaihi wasallam wafat (dead).
Akhee and ukhtee, we may feel sorry about this ummah but we cant follow our spirit without ilm and do something thats against the syariah and reasoning we are trying to make this ummah better. For example when we know our ikhwah in Iraq been attacked by USA. We felt truely sad surely, who doesnt right, while Rasulullah said "Muslims like one body, if one part bleeding then the other part of the body will feel it too with fever". And we may help our brothers in Iraq, but we should see our capability first, what we can do? Do we can help them with weapons? Or with soldiers? Or with missile? No, we cant do anything except praying or collected money for our brothers there (or anywhere else on earth) so at least they still can have something to eat. But...theres many muslims these days, in order just to show their simphaty then they choose their own way, they did political demonstration on the street, gathering together and ikhtilat (mix) between men and women and they made yales to curse USA and their gangs. Is it along with syar'i? No. Its haraam, and its bid'ah, something that Rasulullah never do. And Rasulullah said "something new in this dien called bid'ah, and bid'ah is deviate and deviation go to hell". And also he said "whoever do some amaal which has no example from us, then their amaal will be rejected". And also by doing demonstration, its usually causing something thats even more worse. And also none of our ulama ever do demonstration, only egnorant siyasah people who doing it. Cause its not Islam, Islam never know demonstration, its sunnah of kafereen. And the first people who did demonstration is them who surround calyph Uthman bin affan under their leader munafiqun Abdullah bin Saba' and ended with the killing of Uthman bin Affan radhiallahu anhu.
And another example when those damned people make a picture of a man (they claimed its Rasulullahs pic but Rasulullahs name still as pure as it can be forever alhamdulillah), and eeeeeeeevery muslims from over the world flooding to the street cursing the painter, whats for? It would just mubazeer (and mubazeer friend of devil) to do so. How much money that had thrown away just like that, and there was many ikhtilat (mix) between men and women, a lot of dstruction of public properties, and lot of muslims bleeding, and what is the profit? Cause they (kafeer) help eachother among them and they will not silent till they can bring muslim into their religion, and the painter also wont get punished eventhought we do demonstration eeevery week. Let Allah punish them, and He has punished them a bit, they got punished by their own dirty hands by their own movie called "the da vinci code", its make their own religion looked real bad in front of them self masha Allah. And the almighty's punishment will be there till yaumul qiyamah for them Wallahi. Even muslim who underestimate sunnah will be punished by Allah subanahu wa ta'ala. How about non muslim?
So, if you really love this ummah, you can start by fixing your self, do tashfiyah to your self, read books of our scholars of salaf and then do tashfiyah to your family, and then to your neighbour and friends, and if you have enough capability of ilm you can do dawah to people insha Allah. But for the meanwhile just pray and make your self busy with study Islam with the right sources.
Wallahi, the victory will be ours insha Allah, but first we have to bring back this dienul Islam to the time of Rasulullah with his companions ridhwanallahu alaihim ajma'een. We gotta have tauhid like them, ibadah like them, akhlaq like them, muamalah like them, and we may not adding or decrease something from this dien, cause its bid'ah and it will make dienul Islam blur, and it will make the line between the wrong and the right become blur. And if we let bid'ah then Islam will be like jews and christian, the genuine thought will be unidentified cause so many bid'ah in their thoughts. And in the end Islam will be forgotten. But Allah have promised that He will protect Quran and He azza wa jalla Him self also will protect Islam till yaumul qiyamah. So we have to do like Rasulullah and His companions do so we can have the glory on earth. Dont we remember that history have proven that in Rasulullahs and the companions time the jews, christian and other ummah were so small, they have no izzah at all in front of muslims. And their destiny lied in muslims hands. So if we want to have a strong ummah, so we have to do Islam like Rasulullah and his companions, and have faith like them, tauhid like them, ibadah, akhlaq, muamalah like them. With no addition or decreasing. And slowly but sure we will be the leader of the human on earth insha Allah wa bi idhnillah :brother:
Reply

hassanomar
06-13-2006, 11:42 PM
Du'as for anxiety/difficulty

اللَّهُمَّ إنِّي أعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْهَمِّ وَ الْحَزَنِ ، وَ الْعَجْزِ وَ الْكَسَلِ ، وَ الْبُخْلِ وَ الْجُبْنِ ، وَ ضَلَعِ الدِّيْنِ وَ غَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ
Allahumma inni a'udhubika minal hammi wal hazan, wal 'ajzi wal kasal, wal bukhli wal jubn, wa dhala'id-dayni wa ghalabatir rijaal
O Allah! I seek refuge in You from grief and sadness, from weakness and from laziness, from miserliness and from cowardic

O Allah! I seek refuge in You from grief and sadness, from weakness and from laziness, from miserliness and from cowardice, from being overcome by debt and from being overpowered by men (other people)
[Sahih al-Bukhari 7:158]


اللَّهُم¡ ; اِنِّى اُنْزِلُ بِكَ حَاجَتِىْ وَ اِنْ قَصُرَ رَابِىْ وَ ضُعْفَ عَمَلِى افْتَقَرْت ;ُ اِلى رَحمَتِكَ
Allahumma inni unzila bika haajati wa-in qasuura rubbi wa du'fa 'amali iftaqartu illa Rahmatika
O Allah! I ask You to answer my needs, though my intellect is weak, and my actions are defective, O Allah! I am in need of Your Mercy

Innaka 'ala ma-tasha'-u qadeer wa anta hasbeeya wa na'mal wakeel
O Allah! You do whatever You wish, and You are my Availer and Protector and the best of aid.
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zircon
06-15-2006, 09:59 PM
Salam,
the most comforting verse in the quran from my point of view is 'fabassheeril mo'mineen' = 'give glad tidings to the believers'. i found this verse very relieveing in times of stress etc. and for things to change, we must first change ourselves. dont worry sis, we are with you. and whats more, Allah is with us. peace! smiles!
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Tanya Khan
01-29-2007, 03:56 PM
I know I will sound really bad for going out with this guy (or any guy for that matter) but I need to get this off my chest, I need your help and advice, i'm suffering so much.

I'm a Sunni female and he is an Ahmedi, I know it's really bad but I only found about him being Ahmedi after I got too attached to him, people have told me to keep away as Ahmedi's are known as kafir and they are no good. But i always found it hard as i'd fallen head over heals for him.

I split up with him about a month ago and its been torture for me, I can't seem to move on, I know it's for the best but why can't I accept that it's over and just move on. He never felt the same as i did, i know he liked me alot at the start but i guess his feelings faded. I cant handle the pain of rejection and the pain of him leaving me.

Im finding this soooooooo hard, there's no words to describe this pain. i start crying for him for the silliest reasons, like when i hear a song on the radio, or i go to a place where me n him went... anything and everything reminds me of him and i cant get away from it. I cry myself to sleep at night thinkin about the times we spent together, and my heart breaks into a millions pieces when i think about how he's moved on & forgotten about me so easily.

My heart is not in peace, i need some kind of peace, i have been praying namaz and doing dua in my mind to feel peace, but things r just getting worse and worse and im crying all the time. i dont know wot to do!!!! I have no self control. Im a total mess. Please help. :cry:
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tomtomsmom
01-29-2007, 04:05 PM
An islamic point of view I can not give you but I can give advice from a woman's point of view. I know the pain of a broken heart and I can tell you that the only thing that will make it better is time. Give yourself time to heal. Time to grieve. But don't let it take over your life. It will get better. Everyday you will find yourself missing him a little less and then one day you will wake up and wonder why you ever missed him in your first place. If he didn't have the same feeling in return then he never deserved your feeling in the first place. Guard your heart until you find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. Keep yourself distracted until then. Find a hobby or spend time with your friends and family. I hope this helps and I hope you feel better soon.
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Skillganon
01-29-2007, 04:06 PM
It take's a lot of courage in doing what you have done after becoming attached. You did the right thing and it will be best for you to find alternative activities to help you recover from it.
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united
01-29-2007, 04:08 PM
think of it this way.
its a blessing he rejected you sooner rather than later.
Sometimes we may think we know what we want in life but Allah may have something better in store.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Hope this helps.
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FBI
01-29-2007, 04:08 PM
:sl:

sis to him it probably was a "Hit and Run" if you get my drift? Forget about him they're plently of good bros out there.
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S_87
01-29-2007, 04:09 PM
:sl:

it takes a while to get over a broken heart but remember sister what you were doing was haraam. feel regret over it-dont wish for it to be as it was. the shaytaan loves misguiding people in these ways.
anything that reminds you of him get rid of. if you can help it dont go to the places that remind you of him.
have much regret in what you did and repent to Allah. remember this pain although it seems much is only a temporary pain and youll get over it.
if he does convert to islam that has to be on his own accord not because of you.
keep yourself very occupied so you dont keep thinking about him...
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